But which events in his life does the film focus on? Well, why focus on one event, when you can have them all? Would The Ten Commandments have been the classic it is today if it just focused on the relationship between Moses and Pharoah? Of course not! Though it would certainly have been shorter. As it is, when I fall asleep while watching it, as I inevitably do, I half expect to wake up the next day and see the film still in progress, and a descendant of Moses running around shouting "Soylent Green is made of people!"

The Great Wall is that kind of an epic: long, and episodic. I can't possibly write any spoilers in this review -- the movie stays pretty true to the histories and legends it is based on. And the whole audience would know the general outline of the story, excited only to see how it will be executed in this particular film. To call anything here a spoiler would be as if, right before seeing The Ten Commandments for the first time, someone were to say to you: "Moses parts the Red Sea so the Israelites can escape Egypt." It isn't a spoiler if you're supposed to know it ahead of time. (The Soylent Green joke above, however, really is a spoiler. Sorry.)

Every epic must have a beginning, and this one begins with war, the constant battles of the Warring States period, and Ying Zheng is a general, leading his troops in combat. He is close to his troops, he inspires their loyalty, they believe in his cause. He is shown as a noble figure, saddened by the plight of the peasants and the constant warfare, he promises to put an end to it and bring peace to the world. One of his men, Li Tang, loses an arm for him, and he doesn't soon forget that.

But enough of this! The narrator quickly moves forward to 221 BC, when King Ying Zheng has united all the states, and becomes Emperor. This film moves fast, and if you don't keep up, you get left behind. The Emperor presides over a council of Ministers, where he explains that he plans to create a new kind of state. Minister Li Si stands up, and in one sentence, explains the need for a common currency, measuring system, and language. They also agree to abolish the feudal system of fiefdoms in favor of the provincial system. All of that in a single meeting! Then he greets the six state's former Kings, and explains there will only be one King from now on. And there, he meets his arch-enemy, Prince Dan of Yan (Ken Utsui). It turns out they were both hostages together as children, but now that Zheng is King he behaves like a complete bastard and the Prince can hardly contain his fury. But his time for revenge is not yet -- this is a long movie, after all, he's got time. And meanwhile, the life of the First Emperor continues to unfold, episode by episode.