I almost swore, but I changed it to "crap". I just decided I don't want to swear in my reviews or on this site. Maybe I'll never swear at all ever again. Just to piss people off.

Plot: a guy (I think he's half Japanese, half Brazillian) likes a chick (she's not half Brazillian) and they're on a bus, and a helicopter comes by and there are chases and people are against them and explosions and blah blah blah blah. Pretty cool stuff.

Now it is probably impossible for Takashi Miike to make a completely worthless movie, so I recommend you watch it just for the cock fighting scene (being a Takashi Miike movie, I'd better be clear that by cock I am referring to the bird of the male chicken sort). Aren't I against male chicken-bird fighting? Of course. But not when they fight like this!

There is also a funny bit to do with ping pong, but I actually forget what it was. So, that's two reasons right there for you to rush out, or click away, and purchase this DVD. I can't believe some people actually like this movie. If you like all the Rocky sequels, all the Lethal Weapon movies, and all the Die Hard movies, AND you can lower your standards just a bit more, you will probably love this movie. Blah!!!

Alternative titles, that ARE good, by Takashi Miike: Audition (great), Ichi the Killer (brilliant), The Happiness of the Katakuris (super brilliant), Visitor Q (amazing), Gozu (disappointing, but very Miike, and interesting enough), Dead or Alive (beautiful violent fun) ... well, start with those, and if you're still OK, then we'll give you some more.

DO NOT BUY THIS FILM IF: You have good taste in any way whatsoever.

RECOMMENDATION: Recommended for Takashi Miike freaks who just have to own everything he has ever made. I can respect that. Under certain controlled situations, it may be OK to rent this movie to check it out. You'll probably wonder what my problem is. It's not that bad, it's just that Miike movies can be so refreshingly inspired, and this just isn't.

Essentially, it's the story of doomed lovers, antihero Mario (Brazilian-Japanese model/actor Teah) and his Chinese girlfriend Kei (Michelle Reis, who appeared in 1990's Chinese Ghost Story 2, and later played Ting-ting in Jet Li vehicle The Legend - originally titled 'Fong Sai-yuk', and its sequel). Mario is a charismatic 'man's man' who rips off a yakuza drug dealer to buy fake passports so he can escape from the Japanese underworld with Kei to Australia. However, ambitious smart-suited Tokyo mobster Fushimi, who lusts after Kei for bondage practice, and who's only happy when kidnapping little blind girls to terrorise, is leader of the motley crew of villains, and if he ever had a conscience it's gone AWOL.

What distinguishes this from other fantasy-action movies of its kind is director Miike's anarchic depiction of Japan as a cultural melting pot, and his reinvention of cheap camera tricks with such a tremendous and defiant enthusiasm that we'll eagerly forgive any number of distracting, even pointless, throwaway gags. If you enjoyed The Matrix, you'll love this film's digital cockfight, and the ping-pong kung fu scene, while the hectic opening sequence where Mario rescues Kei from being deported sublimes into an hilarious instance of superhero action sure to provoke academic study for a 'racial-archetypes-in-the-media' dissertation.

Among all the frivolity of breaking the camera lens and the amusing reality-TV show asides, there are exquisite scenes of visual poetry, as when a spider crawling on a sleeping girl's shoulder reappears later as a tattoo. If you're tired of blandly unimaginative Hollywood product, but still want spectacular action with a strong idiosyncratic sense of the absurd, checkout this offbeat thrill ride...

The film opens with Kei (Michelle Reis) narrating a letter to her mother. A butterfly flies in, flutters around, then lands and becomes a tattoo on Mario (Teah), Kei’s Brazilian lover. After a visually stunning introduction to Mario, set back in Brazil, we witness an absurdly over-the-top establishment to their relationship that’s nonetheless entertaining. Mario and Kei frequent a Brazilian bar owned by Carlos (Atsushi Okuno) and one night, just after receiving their passports from Carlos, they’re confronted by a Chinese drug dealer, Riku (Terence Yin), with an obsession for Kei. Mario’s anger builds, reaching its height as Riku tosses money at him as pay for saving Kei. Mario bursts out, trying to hit Riku, but is stopped by one of Riku’s men. Riku stays perfectly calm and still, more an Anime character than human, and then he punctures Kei’s purse and the passports within, voiding them, and leaves. Riku then meets with Fushimi (Koji Kikkawa), a Yakuza famous for his unflinching brutality, for a cocaine sale. Soon, Kei and Mario are married. In lieu of a ring, Mario gives Kei a beautiful spider tattoo that comes upon her in the same beautiful way that Mario’s butterfly tattoo appeared in the beginning. They soon learn that a quick departure will cost them 9 million yen each, so Kei devises a plan to steal the bets that are placed in a massive underground cockfighting area. She, Mario, Carlos, and Mario’s friend Ricardo (Sebastian DeVicente) plan to attack for the money. During the attack, Fushimi and Riku, who manages the cockfighting, are in the middle of a conflict over the cocaine sell. Our foreign hero’s burst into the scene and escape with a briefcase as Mario revels in the fun. It turns out that they got the wrong case, the cocaine, which brings both Fushimi and Riku’s followers against the Brazilian. Fushimi wipes out his Yakuza leader, taking over the family. Through violence, Fushimi manipulates a popular Brazilian TV broadcaster before kidnapping Carla, a blind little girl with whom the Brazilian community finds a close bond. Carla’s unofficially adopted mother, Lucia (Patricia Manterola), vows to kill Mario if anything happens to the child. This brings the film to an explosive, violent, and breathtaking finale that leave the viewer feeling fulfilled—until the last two shots.

Miike again provides us with an explosive Mix of direction that is at times exceptional and, rarely, so weird and out of place that one can’t help but wonder how it’s the same director. Though Hazard City is far tamer than one might expect from Miike, it definitely has his touch. When there is blood, there’s always more than enough, and the cockfighting scenes are crazy. Cock Matrix? Hell yeah. Even more remarkable than Miike’s creativity and depraved love of Cinema violence (that I often share), is his Always exceptional Framing and his gift for beautiful and original Shots. Takashi’s visual style for Hazard city is as much of a mix as the film’s characters, and many scenes are comprised of exceptional eye candy. Some comments have been made with the opinion that Miike didn’t Care much for this film, but relishing in his visual design, it’s clear that they are mistaken.

The performances are all around good, though because of their stylized nature most people probably won’t be able to fully identify with anyone. Teah is excellent as a tough guy with a sense of loyalty and even some glimpses of innocence. Michelle Reis is always beautiful and Easier to identify with than most of the cast. Terence Yin gives a beautifully restrained and abstract performance in his role, the most depraved and Miike-ish in the film. Patricia Manterola is moving as a woman who gives all of her heart to a little deaf girl, and she is unquestionably the most human in the film. Hazard City isn’t driven by brilliant performances, but consistently fulfilling actors make it all the more enjoyable.

If you’ve never seen a Takashi Miike movie, this is the one to start with. Tame enough for an R rating, more creative and unconventional than any non-Miike film you’re likely to see, and always entertaining, Hazard City is a film that almost anyone would enjoy. And the cockfights are among the weirdest things I’ve ever seen in a live action film. (NOTE: In Hong Kong, the film is also known as The City of Lost Souls.)

The stylishly violent opening scenes establish the two main protagonists, Mario and Kei, (played by Brazilian/Japanese Teah and, star of numerous Hong Kong films, Michelle Reis) as a couple of 'Bonnie and Clyde' characters as Mario highjacks a helicopter and then rescues Kei from the prison bus which is taking her to be deported. Planning to obtain fake passports to leave for Australia the pair return to Tokyo but manage to step into the middle of a feud between the Chinese Triad and Japanese Yakuza. It seems that Kei has a past life with the leader of the triad who won't let her leave so easily. However they also have the Yakuza to contend with after they steal a case full of cocaine in an attempt to get some quick cash and when an underworld bounty is put on their heads, then just about everybody is after them. Stuck right in the middle of this is the young girl Carla, the adopted daughter of Mario's former lover. She becomes a pawn used by the Yakuza to draw Mario out into the open.

The larger than life style of the opening leaves the viewer in no doubt that the film is going to be a little more than tongue in cheek and later there are some genuinely surreal moments. The frenetic pace of the storyline would be enough to keep the viewers attention but Takashi Miike bombards the viewer with so many abstract images. The cgi cock fighting scene where chickens use kung fu in a matrix style battle has to be seen to be believed. The film does contain some classic (and violent) shoot out sequences but does it in a style all of its own that really gives you the impression that you are seeing something new. The film also presents a completely different vision of Japan with Brazilian cafes, Latin prostitutes and shady Russian businessmen. It left me wondering for the first half hour of the film whether it was actually set in Japan at all.

While Michelle Reis is one of the main leads she seems to get very little dialogue. Her character is quite contradictory as she maintains a kind of innocence even though her actions later on in the film are anything but innocent. Mario for the most part is an out and out psycho but he does have some sense of right and wrong which leads him to come back and rescue Carla from the Yakuza in the films bloodthirsty climax. The film features competent performances from everyone in the cast.

From having a quick scan around the net it seems that Takashi Miike is building up a bit of reputation and on the evidence of this movie its not hard to see why. I'll definitely be checking out more of his films.