| Overview: | Confirmed SOS. Four Man Balloon Crash. Survivors In Ocean Near Small Island...
With an intro like that, you know you're in for somethin' special.
After the opening aero-catastrophe, our reluctantly relocated quartet and their dependable pooch are marooned in a remote locale seemingly populated only by sexy native chicks wearing leopard-print loinclothes who eat fire and smoke skull-bongs, prompting one character to observe "There's no question they're deep into witchcraft." Good guess, pal, but they're really just hot-to-trot interplanetary babes! Before long, our fearless foursome also run across a gaggle of goofy, bug-eyed henchmen who escort them to a secluded laboratory, replete with all sorts of light-up gadgets, gizmos, a brain in a jar and a perpetually spinning pink box. It turns out this not-so-hi-tech workshop is the stomping ground for Mrs. Von Helsing, whose bedridden hubby was once assistant to Dr. Frankenstein and is currently collaborating with the deceased Doc's energy-force to again try and solve the mysteries of life, death and everything between. The deadly duo (terrible trio?) then attempt to recruit the castaways for some hands-on help in their questionable blood transfusion operations, but can they be trusted?
And how come no one mentions ol' Frank's monster is still submerged in a nearby lagoon and he's prone to temper tantrums?
Betraying its 1981 copyright, "Frankenstein Island" looks and feels like it easily could've been filmed 15 years prior. Sadly the final feature from exploitation madman Jerry Warren ("Teenage Zombies"), this out-of-control spectacle is filled to bursting with elements that'll make most viewers doubt their sanity--from pointless scenes of exotic girls endlessy gyrating in their jungle g-strings, to a caged Cameron Mitchell ("The Tomb") continuously quoting Poe. Even the legendary John Carradine ("Evil Spawn") makes an appearance every now and then, badly superimposed on top of the proceedings, repeating the same line over and over again. Offbeat , bizarre and oft-times hilarious, this is must-see TV for fans of drive-in schlock. Besides, it may be your only chance to hear someone spew the immortal line, "Oh wow ! They're the most beautiful vegetables I've ever seen!"
- Bruce Holecheck, Ultra Violent Magazine
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