What makes so many independent films good? Is it the bad acting, the lower budget, or something more? I feel what truly makes independent films good is the fact that they are not bound by rules or expectations. Todd Roy's painfully funny DVD KWOON is perfect example of both. The cover to KWOON tells you what you're in for right off the bat- "Bad Acting- Good Kung Foo". He also breaks the rules of film by crossing so many genres it could scramble your brain. There's action, comedy, horror and even slapstick all jammed into one show.

Now I say 'show' because KWOON isn't exactly a movie. Writer/director Todd Roy made a pretty penny on a good investment and took everything he made and put it into three 22 minutes episodes of KWOON- talk about having some big balls! The idea is to turn KWOON into a a TV series on a station like Comedy Central or Spike TV. The kung foo series chronicles the misadventures of five kung foo students struggling to survive in the rough and tumble environment of Silicon Valley. During their misadventures, they take on Death, a Mummy and even the mob!

So how did I hear about KWOON? I ran into Todd Roy at the San Diego Comic Con where he was promoting KWOON with some of the most catchy slogans you've ever seen. After today you'll never forget KWOON because of such slogans as, "The Devil Hates Kung Foo", "It's Like a Porno- but with Kung Foo- Instead of Sex" and "It's Nipple Bloody Fun." I snatched a copy for myself, but I had no idea what type of treat I had coming to me.

Todd Roy has a highly over-stimulated brain that needed some serious venting and his mad masterpiece KWOON is the result of it. The acting is definitely terrible, but it's not the type of bad acting that's unbearable to watch- instead it's almost mesmerizing. The main cast of Todd Roy, Jimmy Lam, Chuck Becker, Onassis Parungao and Nathan Decker is what makes the show perfect, without them the show couldn't go on. They are like Larry, Moe and Curley, when you throw Shemp into the mix, what the hell do you have? Some people are just born to work with each other on screen, and these guys are a team that makes up KWOON. I just wonder if the bad acting is intentional... hmmm, maybe they are good actors?

The kung foo is well devised and the combat sequences are very professional looking at times. The lead actor Onassis Sweeps is highly trained in kung foo and can put on quite the performance. But what really makes the show tick is the humor, which I believe mostly stemmed from the brain of Todd. The show can be clever, witty or just plain ridiculous- but no matter where it goes, it's always entertaining- ALWAYS.

But this is a horror website, so you need to know why the hell I'm reviewing a TV series about kung foo. Like I said earlier, this show crossed many genre paths and horror is one of them. During their adventures they battle a mummy who is awakened by a curse- when the mummy is insulted it will rise for revenge. In another episode the crew cheats death in a car accident and workers for death send out someone to collect their souls because they are past due. These souls are to be 'transitioned' ASAP because it is ruining the alignment of the universe. So there's your horror in KWOON.

But I can't stress enough how funny the shows are- and when I took my love for KWOON a step further, I found that there is tons more fun on the KWOON DVD. I haven't been this entertained watching a DVD is a long time; I was constantly enthralled. For an independent DVD, this by far the best value I've ever seen. Not only are there the typical outtakes and deleted scenes, which were excellent on their own, but the extra goodies are in the dozens. Besides having tons of easter eggs, they have TONS of extra footage of the cast and crew doing everything from promoting the DVD to scaring kids on Halloween. I think Todd told me there was over 90 minutes of extra KWOON for the obsession in me. But usually the extras are a lot of fluff and crappy- but not on this bad boy. Nearly ever single clip on the extras had me laughing- if not once, but twice! These guys are brilliant, funny and freaking clever and if you've got some dough saved up, picking up KWOON on DVD will be one of the best decisions you'll make in your life. You can pick it up for only $15 here, at Amazon.com or watch for it at a local convention where as an added bonus, Todd is there to make sure you get a laugh before you leave. I pray KWOON makes it onto Spike TV, because I'm going to be sitting there watching every episode as it airs.

Until then, make sure to check out the grandmaster of all DVDs- KWOON.

Deep in the heart of Northern California five martial arts students devoted to their training in Wing Lam kung fu. One of these students Todd Roy in the late nineties managed to come out of the DOT COM boom with a tidy sum of cash. Feeling the inspiration from his training and the enjoyment of his compatriots, Roy joined with his friends at the Lam KWOON School to produce a different kind of martial arts film.

KWOON is a series of short independent films with currently three episodes produced and more in the making. This DVD feature houses the first three episodes of the series. Though the episodes were filmed in descending order with the idea as more were accomplished, they'd all be better at it by the time they reached the pilot episode. However what does that say for the later episodes, which were the initial episodes? Isn't a series supposed to get better as time goes on? Not worse? Just an odd logic to go by, well I guess it works.

Anyways moving along in the review, this feature doesn't really house a streamline story from episode to episode, but rather each episode revolves around the KWOON students getting themselves in and out of all sorts of mythological trouble by means of kung fu.

In episode 2: Death Vs. Kung Fu Car Wash the five students Onassis Sweeps (Onassis Parungao), Nathan Blocks (Nathan Decker), Todd Gar (Todd Roy), Jimmy Chops (Jimmy Lam), and Chuck Numb (Chuck Becker) are working very hard to earn enough money to get sent off to a martial arts tournament by having a car wash. However things go sour as Nate takes a little too much trips to the grocery store with the car wash funds. Needless to say their efforts were naught as they've completed the day with a total of eight dollars. Moving along on the way home Onassis seems to get a little lost in the maze like Californian suburbs. They end up on a construct site where an accident takes place and the car they're in gets crushed by a large beam. Luckily the quintuplet evades death and leaves the accident without a scratch. Unfortunately this evasion gets caught by the ministry of death and they send their newly appointed field agent Mort Ision (Cung Le) to extract their lives. So join the KWOON kids as they face death with their kung fu and crack a few jokes in the process.

In episode 3: Collection Agency mobster Jack Tortorelli (Jack Dougherty) and his bodyguard Don Killjoy (Don Hambey) have hired a small army of martial arts trained experts in the ways of killing to be the muscle in his latest acts of illegitimate business undertakings. Unfortunately for Jack and Don their weapons didn't make it through the airport. Needing them fully armed for action Jack under the guidance of some supernatural power seems to pick the KWOON School to replenish his crew's weapon stock. After four weeks go by, the KWOON School still hasn't received payment from Tortorelli. Onassis's sifu sends him along with Chuck and Todd to act like a collection agency to get the 435 dollars that Tortorelli owes the school. After a lovely 300 mile drive to Fresno and enduring Todd's annoying habits, Onassis and Chuck find themselves fighting for their lives as Tortorelli decides to kill them inside of paying. Check it out as Onassis, Todd, and Chuck fight for their lives against a number of highly trained martial artists.

In episode 4: Mummy Dearest Onassis and Todd accompany Nate to a museum so Nate can work on his history homework. Hear they find themselves at the opening premiere of a long lost Egyptian king lays with a curse to give to any one who dares speak ill of the mummified individual. Unknown to the KWOON kids, they crack jokes and speak of the mummy's bad odors. Well not too long after Todd finds himself at the mercy of the mummy, located in one of the worst places to be found, pants down on the toilet. Poor Todd. Todd eventually gets away from the mummy but finds himself in other trouble. Meanwhile Onassis and Nate have their run in with the mummy, but the mummy steals Onassis's martial arts knowledge from him and forces Nate to take on the oddly blue-eyed demon alone. The story moves along, what will happen to the trio? Can Todd get out of his dilemma? Will Onassis ever learn to fight again? Can Nate protect Onassis from the Mummy and most importantly finish his homework?

Final Thoughts: There are a couple things about this feature I'm trying understand. For one there's an inside joke with Todd receiving bloody nipples in each episode, which doesn't really seem humorous to me, but if I knew the tale behind it... perhaps things would be different?

One of the slogan used for the series is "It's Like Porno but with Kung Fu instead of Sex". From this interpretation we see that most people watch porno for sex and the analogy holds as most people will check out KWOON to see kung fu. Similar to porno, KWOON houses both bad acting and bad plots, but the real meat of each is respectively sex and kung fu. So while I concur with this notion that both features in the porno genre and KWOON won't be receiving Oscar nominations any time soon, I have to say that while I find the slogan funny, I disagree with the underlying concept of it.

I found that the plot of each episode of KWOON to be pretty bad and the acting wasn't terribly great, but the combination of the two is what makes it enjoyable. Of course add in several ill humored and poorly timed jokes with a talented martial arts cast and you've got yourself KWOON.

So if you asked me a few words to state my opinion about this feature, I'd say it's a delightful mix of martial arts and bad jokes perfect for the youth of society. Anyways I am recommending this title for purchase as it is quite entertaining...

Collection Agency: A group of weapon suppliers (mainly swords) send a huge shipment out to a customer. Four weeks pass and the customer still hasn’t paid. When the boss sends three people to collect dues, these money collectors and in for more than they bargained for. What ensues is goofy shenanigans and ass-kicking.

Mummy Dearest: An ancient curse has been discovered on the tomb of a mummy. If the mummy is in any way verbally abused, then it will be awaken from death! Three kung-fu enthusiasts decide to heckle the dead corpse and are in for more than they bargained for. What ensues is goofy shenanigans and ass-kicking.

REVIEW:
I was skeptical when I received my copy of Kwoon. To tell you the truth, I can’t stand these types of independently made films. I’ve seen some of them and let me tell you, a majority of them is a heap of crap. When first episode began to play and the phrase, “Bad acting, good kung-fu” appeared, I knew I was in good hands.

A big problem with many of these independently made kung-fu films is the actors take themselves far too seriously. Sure, they showcase some impressive fight sequences, but they could never match up to the big budget stuff that they draw inspiration from. The thing about Kwoon is they parade their weaknesses like it’s a golden trophy. Right off the bat they tell you they can’t act. Instead of trying to develop characters and unravel a deep plot, they just make up a simple story and saturate it with pure entertainment. And really, isn’t that what these type of films are all about anyways?

The man behind Kwoon, Todd Roy, resembles Sean William Scott in the strangest way. The resemblance is also accentuated because he is usually the one to take the humor to another level in these shorts. An ongoing gag in each episode is Todd’s nipples somehow get injured and bleeding uncontrollably. Also, he gets trashed (literally) and emerges with a condom stuck in his mouth. Immature? Yes. Funny? You’re damn right.

The fighting can’t really stack up to the Jet Li and Jackie Chan stuff, but standing by itself, it’s impressive. The thing that makes these scenes so great is the heart that went into it. You can tell that these people really have a love for what they do. Even though their moves won’t drop your jaw or make you go “DID YOU SEE THAT?! DAMN!, the sheer will and heart that went into each scene really gives Kwoon its character. If you’re tired of Jackie Chan’s bland “comedy” and you have played the Jet Li line “I am Yulaw. I am no one’s bitch. You are mine!” 200 times, then Kwoon will satisfy your appetite for comedic kung fu.

The trend seems to be that with each new episode, the Kwoon team gets better and better. Who knows, by episode 51: Gigolo of Shaolin, the Kwoon team just might be walking down a red carpet at its premiere! Todd Roy may very well be on his way of becoming the John Waters of kung-fu films. With gags such as the ongoing nipple-torture and the constant “I’m going to kick your ass!”-es, I think with more nurture, Mr. Roy may be able to leave a mark in the action film genre. In fact, he could possibly create a whole new subgenre! Seriously, don’t tell me you wouldn’t want to see ‘Pink Flamingos’ meet ‘Once Upon a Time in China.’ Who knows what the future will bring to the Kwoon team, but at the present, this compilation of Kwoon shorts will do. Like the back cover says, it’s like watching porn, but with kung-fu. Invite a couple of buddies over, pop out a few beers, and just kick back and relax with ‘Kwoon.’