Very loosely based on the banned classic "The Carnal Prayer Mat", Sex and Zen begins with horndog Scholar Mei (Lawernce Ng) getting lecture from a Buddhist monk that he needs to stop his carnal ways once he gets married. Mei disagrees and sees no reason why marriage should prevent him from his pursuit of earthly delights with whomever he can bed. By the end of the film, Mei has more or less learned a lesson about overindulgence, but not before 90 or so minutes of near wall to wall skin baring and body grinding have occurred.

Mei's new wife, Chou Yin (buxom Cat III icon Amy Yip), is his opposite, a total prude who sees sex as nothing but a shameful, painful, uncomfortable act. Their wedding night consummation consists of Chou Yin gagging herself, coldly laying down with her feet in stirrups, abd insists that Mei drug her with desensitizing creams and potions. He eventually opens her up to enjoying the sins of the flesh, but Mei is quickly distracted and runs off to find new conquests.

In order to sneak into the homes of pent up housewives, Mei enlists the aide of a notorious, good natured thief (Lo Leih). Mei sets his sights on an abused silk merchants wife, but he quickly goes from Don Juan to Don Wanting (I'm going to Hell for that pun) after he catches sight of her hubby's (Elvis Tsui) massive member. With the help of an experimental transplant surgeon, Mei has his diminutive organ replaced with a horses. Thats right. John Holmes ain't got nothin' on Scholar Mei's horse dong.

There is more to the film, of course, from the silk merchants revenge on Mei by bedding his left behind, lovelorn wife, to Mei's downward spiral and sickness from debauchery, and finally a half-hearted message about the perils of leading a licentiousness lifestyle. But, really, what the film is all about is fun carnality, from whipping, tumbling, gymnastic sex, underwater hot tub bump and splosh, vagina calligraphy, bread loaf humping, and girl on girl fluteplay.

Now, this is how all sex films should operate. No need for tales of lusty photographers or strip club owners bedding some vacant tarts in faux softcore thrillers. While it is a little sloppy in its overall stroytelling, Sex and Zen has lowbrow wit and, most of all, imagination so great, you can watch the film purely for entertainment rather than titillation. It's a real shame that Cat III, softcore, fantasy films like Sex and Zen, Erotic Ghost Story 2, and Chinese Torture Chamber Story have become all but non-existent because it was such a distinct HK genre. Sex and Zen showcases sex that is purely in the realm of the fantastic, a far cry from the vanilla sex you'll find in your average Skinemax flick. The sex scenes are zany, enthusiastic, clever and every bit as engrossing as a solid action sequence.

While the film does have some misogynistic parts, females on the recieving end of some forced sex, in the end, the women get their rocks off and have as much control as the men. Hell, they even prove that all you need is a good brush and your man can be replaced. Its certinaly much less offensive than a Japanese tentacle hentai or pinku rape film. The tone is light and the film is very heavy on comedy, including the notorious penis transplant sequence, which is a real holwler. Scenes like the thief insisting to see the horse dong aroused, so he and Mei's assistant,... uhhh, help out, so to speak,.. . have to go down in the annals of HK filmdom as a great example of the gloriously rude and imaginative tastes of Hong Kong humor.

Conclusion: Get it. ...Sex and Zen is an HK classic that can be appreciated not only for its wonderful delights of the flesh, but also its comedy, imagination, and style.

This movie has been called a "classic" by some, but, frankly, if this movie didn't have subtitles, I think the same people would probably recognize Sex and Zen for what it is -- a softcore porno. Yes, it does have a fairly substantial plot (at least for this type of sex romp) based on a 17th erotic novel called "Carnal Praying Mat," it does have nice production values, it does have some good acting along with some decent comedy, and it does have Amy "Miss Giant Boobs" Yip displaying as much skin as she has in a movie (not the full monty though). But when a movie stops regularly so a sex scene can be shown from foreplay to orgasm, that qualifies as porn in my book, no matter how arty it might be.

To be honest, though, sex scenes are some of the most boring things to watch on film in my opinion. You can shoot them in really only two ways -- the overfiltered soft-focus stuff (which most of this movie is) or the nasty gynelogical closeup variety. And really, how much gyrating and overactive panting can one person be expected to watch? I feel like a bit of a hypocrite -- I normally wouldn't fault a film for being too violent or having too many action scenes -- but Sex and Zen feels like one of those kinds of movies you'd feel embarrassed if your mother walked on you watching it. Despite claims by "Asian Cult Cinema" author that Sex and Zen "is refreshingly graphic without being hardcore," I found a few scenes pretty disgusting and not the least bit sexy, such as one with a giant horse-sized penis being masturbated into a loaf a bread, from which... well, I won't go into more detail -- I don't want my account to be yanked -- but I think you get the idea. If you want a further argument, Sex and Zen is the first movie I've seen which has "recommended by Penthouse" in its end credits.

Yes, this film does have its fans, and if you're into softcore porn, it's pretty good for that type of movie. Unlike a lot of other sexually explicit Asian movies, there's little malice towards women during the sex scenes, which is a nice change of pace. And I will grant that some of the sex scenes have (as one internet poster put it) "inventive choreography." However, to paraphrase Austin Powers, "it's not my bag, baby."