The bad news: this movie is a big incoherent mess in every other way. The narrative is all over the place. The episodic nature of the story is vexing at best. And the comedy goes from sort of fun, to bad, to awful. But the worst offense has to be the rampant anachronisms. Seriously, I haven't seen it this bad since "Fantasy Mission Force".

Sammo is no dope, so this was obviously a conscious choice. Why? I have no idea, and no idea what to make of it this, really. First off all, WHERE is this supposed to take place? It was shot in Canada, Thailand, and HK but looks like some weird version of the old west.

Secondly, WHEN is this supposed to take place? There are people in cowboy gear, trenchcoats, and fedoras, classic Chinese garb, samurais, Russian soldiers...what the fuck!? Is this set in some kind of timewarp? Cynthia Rothrock and Richard Norton looks like American Civil War soldiers, Richard Ng looks like Sherlock Holmes, and people are driving 1930's cars and motorcycles! What in the name of Buddha's ballsack is going on here? Pick a style, a time, a place, and stick with it. This is ridiculous!

The cast is so impressive, and the action is so damn sweet, but everything else is on acid here. This was a real opportunity to make a great period spectacle, like "Project A" or "Pedicab Driver". But unless this is a time travel movie, you should stick to one period, and work your magic within that frame.

I don't know what Sammo was thinking with this misguided effort. I don't get it, nor do I like it. I'll give this pile of wasted potential a generous 2.5 stars for the cast and the action.

Sammo admits that in order to keep the movie's running time under control he had to cut out a lot of material and risk upsetting many of his peers, so it could be interesting for a real Hong Kong movie aficianado to keep a running list of who's who among the big names that DON'T get to appear in cameo role (Jackie Chan is one of them who comes to my mind).

Fortunately, with the comedy sequences and the efficient editing, watching a bevy of characters constantly come and go didn't bother me much. The plot was very simple, involving a special train called the Millionaire's Express. A gang of bandits want to rob it, while a petty crook named Chen (played by Sammo himself) wishes to blow up a section of track used by that train, a segment which passes near his hometown of Hanshui. His goal is to compel the wealthy rail patrons to come to his sleepy village and spend money there. A brief flashback scene reveals he was mischeviously attracted to explosives as a kid, and he had blown up the town's dikes. Hence, this diversion of rail traffic is his scheme to pay back his town (and also line his own pockets in the process).

Along with the various characters in the town itself, and the government agent pursuing Chen, the stage is thus set for all sorts of people to converge on little Hanshui, ultimately resulting in a massive showdown pitting Chen and his friends against the nefarious bandits and even some Japanese agents (all in anachronistic samurai outfits).

Anyway, I highly recommend this film because it's unlikely anything like it will ever be made again. Before the advent of CGI, Hong Kong's top martial artists and stuntment dared to perform outrageous actions scenes. For example, watch at the beginning of movie how Yuen Biao jumps off a burning FOUR STORY building and lands unhurt, and then runs to speak some dialogue in a single take. Simply awesome!

Sammo also built a full scale town to use a set in a then undeveloped part of Hong Kong's New Territories, utilized a vintage locomotive in Thailand, and brought together an impressive array of Hong Kong's top entertainment names, so it's difficult to calculate the staggering cost of making sanything like it in similar fashion today.

It's a mix of the Old West and old China, with bits of silliness and bone crunching action, in short, the Shanghai Express is one fun ride.