Don't Go In The Woods: Reviews

Reviews Reviews:
Don't Go In The Woods
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PLOT:
Four friends go camping in the woods while a strange "Wild Man" is killing various people in the same woods. And soon the murderous killer is coming after the group.

REVIEW:
When constantly watching and reviewing films, especially in the horror genre it's almost impossible to name a film "the worst". And I Can't do that with this either. But it definitely goes straight up to the Top 5 of Worst Horror Movies Ever. This is pure, amateur junk. It's dazzling that a real film company put money into this, it looks like a homemade project filmed for fun by friends hiking in the woods. Everythi8ng about this film is amateurish. The plot, acting, direction, sound, photography, editing... Sure there's some gore but the murder scenes are completely ruined by annoying close-ups and editing that seems to have been done by a blind person.

When it comes to the cast, they are about as annoying as their characters. The film is ridiculously built up like a by-the-numbers slasher where various short-lived people are murdered in their first scene and the four leads continue hiking until they're attacked by the "Wild Man" when he has killed the rest of the cast. The supporting cast is so bad that it's hard to separate the comic relieves from the more serious roles as everyone's overacting frenetically. The problem with the four leads is not only that they can't act but they're also admittedly unattractive people. I'm not saying that a slasher film needs Jennifer Love Hewitt to go around but when the heroine looks like a young Ron Howard there's something seriously wrong.

The film ranges from dull to repellent but naturally has a few hilarious bits. The couple in the trailer are outrageous, especially the woman who acts like in Scary Movie or something. The bit where she stumbles around screaming in the trailer when it's pushed down a cliff is the film's highlight. Some fun dialogue too, like a victim calling out "Come out of there, you jerk you" or a pointless Sheriff character (who only appears in beginning and end of film) who have a completely out-of-place scene where he bumps into a girl on roller-skates, stares into the sun and mumbles "It's gonna be one of those summers..." Priceless.

Often the film tries to be a little stylish and original but the result is mostly weird and laughable. A female victim is an artist painting in the woods (!) while her little daughter watch. When the artist is killed with blood splattering on her painting the daughter is kept alive so she in the end of the film can "inherit" the killer's murderous ways. Another victim is trapped in her sleeping bag and hung up a tree where she is beaten on like a piņata!

The killer is probably one of the least scariest horror-movie villains ever. For the first half we only see his hands and wish we could see more of him. When we finally do, it's regrettable. In some cheap attempt at copying The Hills Have Eyes, the killer is dressed up like a caveman, wearing a blanket and pearls over his face! And oh yes, he runs around wielding a stick. Scary indeed.

GORE:
An arm is chopped off, victim vomits blood on car window, blood splattering on painting, victim gets metal thing in face, some others are slashed with a machete and one is decapitated. All very badly done.

SOUNDTRACK:
Sounds like someone improvising a score on a keyboard. Very annoying, especially the music for the "comedic" parts of the film.

BOTTOM LINE:
There might be films worse than this. I don't know. Haven't seen one. But this is still beyond below average. Amateurish on all levels, and very annoying. Don't watch this film, not even for fun. It's not worth it.

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