Well, now imagine my shock, and dismay, when I loaded up the DVD and saw that the film was, in fact, entitled The Clutch of Power. Dammit – I wanted a crutch. A clutch of power really isn't all that rare in martial arts films. Something like 90% of the genre is made up entirely of films about people who want power, people who will clutch at anything, and everything, that will grant them power. Usually, the power clutched after is a top secret document revealing the ultimate kung fu stance, or military strategy. Also, the people doing the clutching are usually the bad guys, and the good guys must prevent the bad guy from accomplishing his or her power-clutch. Oh, if only this film had been called The Crutch of Power.

The scenario I outlined above is exactly what this film is about – down to the minute degree. There is, in fact, a document that contains the ultimate military strategy, and the evil bad guy wants to clutch it, he wants to 'clutch the power,' hence the name of the film. The bad guy goes around killing people with his retractable sword, and eventually finds the document. However, the document is, of course, being guarded by two good guys who prevent the bad guy from successfully completing his power-clutch. I know, I know, the film sounds unique, and quite remarkable, as if we have never heard of anything quite like it before (if you can't tell, I was typing with sarcasm).

Although the narrative is pretty weak, the film itself is mildly entertaining...mildly. The action is plentiful, and competently framed, while the bad English dub is often times humorous and aloof. The film also showcases three of the stupidest weapons in martial arts cinema history, no joke. The first weapon is a chess board. Yup, that's right, one of the assassins sent to kill the two good guys fights with a chess board he spins around in his hand. I don't know about you, but when I was in high school, and in the chess club, the one thing I never worried about was getting killed by one of the chess boards. But then again, I was probably too preoccupied about my level 20 dark elf getting his but kicked by a dragon to worry about such nonsense

However, the chess board master soon loses his chess board (he throws it away, at a tree, like a shuriken) and replaces it with an even lamer set of weapons – two hand fulls of feathers. Clutched in his hands, between each finger, is a white feather, and he strikes with these feathers at the two good guys. It doesn't take long before this loser is killed. Another assassin fights our heroes with an umbrella, without the cloth on it. If you have ever wondered what good an umbrella might be with the cloth removed, just rent this film and you will see. The spiny, skinny, metal arms of the weapon are used to twirl around and smack the weapon-master's opponent. Unfortunately, there is not a lot of smacking going on, and the assassin is quickly dispatched.

Sometimes it is better to carefully read the title of a film before you rent it. This saves the trouble, and heartache, of imagining how cool a film is going to be, and then discovering it's probably not very cool at all. Had I known the film was not called The Crutch of Power, I would have rented it anyway, but I would not have spent the entire car ride home imagining the implications of such a crutch. That is to say, I would have approached the film with more realistic expectations. However, even with these realistic expectations, the film would still be nothing more than a quick diversion, and a less than mediocre example of the kung fu genre.