Our hero here is Jack Doh (Alexander Lo Rei), a smarmy chap who heads to Shanghai with big dreams, but empty pockets. As soon as he gets off of the boat, Jack gets into a fight with Charlie Wu (Charlema Hsu), who mistakes him for a rapist. Apparently, both guys find this hilarious, and they're soon the best of buds. Through a series of convoluted plot twists (believe me, this is the sort of release you do not want to pay too much attention to the actual plot, for fear of your head exploding ala Scanners) Jack and Charlie become the heads of the Shanghai triad, which attracts the attention of a ninja (Tong Lung) looking to make Shanghai his own territory. But the ninja doesn't decide to take out the upstarts himself, instead sending a group of four racial stereotypes... I mean hitmen... to do the job. My personal "favorite" is the wine-swilling, cigar-chewing, knife-throwing, greasy-haired, scar-faced Italian.

Going from his history as a protege of Chang Cheh and action director of several martial arts classics like The Five Deadly Venoms, director Robert Tai perhaps realized that the story of Mafia Vs. Ninja was total crap, and tried to redeem things by upping the fight quotient. Yes, there are plenty of fisticuffs thrown at the viewer here, but, frankly, for the most part, they're not made very well. There are a ton of obvious tricks used like undercranking and barely-hidden wirework. And don't get me started on the "special effects" used for the ninja trickery. Apparently, a pile of leaves pulled by a string is supposed to show that ninjas are tunneling through the ground. Ech. Your average 1980's Michael Dudikoff straight-to-VHS B-movie had cooler ninja antics than what's presented here.

If you're a die-hard fan of B-movie cheese, you might find something worthwhile here. Certainly, the atrocious English dub itself is worthy of a Mystery Science Theatre smackdown, especially if you find yourself stranded in a blizzard-locked cabin with a few of your fellow beer-swilling kung fu-watching buddies, and the only other DVD you have is disc one of season two of Sabrina The Teenage Witch -- and that one is scratched. However, your average joe reading this review off of a random Google search would probably be better off taking the 99 cents they might spend on this DVD and buying a gas station chili dog. Because, at least then, they would get some sort of tangible fufillment for consuming the sub-standard product.

Unfortunately for the kindly old Godfather, not all of his employees are as jovial as Jack and his pal Charlie. Some of his underlings don't think that they're being treated well enough, and they want more money. Rather than talk it over man to man, they instead turn tail and start working for the dastardly Japanese mobsters who are bent on taking over the crime business in Shanghai.

When the Japanese thugs fail in their attempts to take down the Chinese mafia because of Jack's formidable martial arts skills, the Japanese mob boss puts out the word that he needs the best of the best, and soon he's recruited himself a small army consisting of a of the lands top fighters – a fat guy with a sword and a Hitler moustache, a jive talking black guy who is way taller than everyone else in the movie (Eugene Thomas who played the Shaolin Ghetto Freak character in Ninja: The Final Duel), and a knife thrower who looks like a young Rod Stewart who answers to the unusual moniker of Meemo.

These deadly assassins succeed in killing off the Chinese mafia boss, and Jack and Charlie of course swear to avenge his death. One by one, they square off against the Japanese assassins and a whole lot of ninjas who appear out of nowhere by the multitudes. Meanwhile, Jack is trying to keep his love life straight, when it turns out that the woman he loves (who he had earlier saved when she was almost squashed by a random falling telephone pole!) is of Japanese descent. She makes the point of telling him that the next time they meet, it will probably be as enemies.

Mafia Vs. Ninja starts off with a bang, slows down in the middle part, and then gets right back up to speed for the last half hour, where everything explodes into an orgy of bad wirework, fake looking dummies, bad gore effects, and flying ninjas. When you finally make it to the last fight scene, in which Jack takes on a somewhat familiar looking ninja in a purple jumpsuit, your brain may very well be bleeding internally from all of the non stop ninja action. Ninjas tunnel around underground (you can tell by the little plots of grass that zip across the lawn!) only to pop up, kick someone in the head, then disappear into thin air. While the familiar sounds of the Battlestar Galactica theme swell up in the background, Jack proves he's tough enough to get the job done and avenge his masters death.

This is a seriously goofy film. While some of the fight scenes are impressive, Alexander Lo Rei's mullet makes him laughable every time he's on screen (which is most of the movie) and the ninjas themselves, starring at you from the circular eye holes that their mothers probably cut out of their masks for them, don't fare any better. So while it's damn near impossible to take the film seriously, it is a lot of fun if you're easily amused by unbelievably bad films. Like many of Robert Tai's other ninja movies, it is certainly creative, but it's not a well made movie by any stretch. Watch it for a laugh, and have a good time with it - just don't expect Citizen Kane or even The Five Deadly Venoms...

Final Thoughts:
While Mafia Vs. Ninja takes a little while to really pick up steam, the last half hour more than makes up for it with gleefully insane ninja action. This is hardly a good film in the literal sense of the word, but under the right circumstances (mildly intoxicated, for example), it sure is a fun one despite the mediocre presentation. Recommended for bad movie/martial arts fans, everyone else should probably rent it.