Appreciators of so-bad-it's-good cinema rejoice: your Holy Grail has been crafted by the phenomenal "Philthy" Phil Phillips and cohorts MC Kung Fu/John Williams (?!?!?).

"City Dragon" tells the tale Ray, a streetwise martial artist whose only initial concern is hanging out with his friends Rick and the aforementioned "Philthy" Phil in an effort to get as much poontang as possible (and not to "roam the streets in search of justice", as certain promos state). In fact, the first third of the movie is dedicated to exactly that: Ray and his "homies" rap-rhyming lame one liners that always seem to work at getting the ladies to bed (full frontal even!). Then Ray meets Tina, who has just left abusive boyfriend John for good. Swept away in a whirlwind romance, Ray and Tina decide to get married, which prompts John into a murderous rage that lands him in a mental institution. Sound retardedly awesome? Believe me, it only gets better from there...

I won't say much more, but the movie has many more hilarious subplots involving the gang and the ending is the most epically cheesy thing I have ever seen (six words: Howie Long's death in "Broken Arrow").

If you haven't seen this, get it now! The DVD versions are cheap as dirt, and you can bet your life that it's money well spent.