Welcome back. Now, before you read on (since you already bought the DVD) go put it in your DVD player and watch it. (Unless you used normal shipping, and can't wait any longer.)

OK, was I right, or was I right? For those still waiting for their copy to arrive in the mail: read on.

If you've seen the trailer for this film and thought that it looked pretty cool for a low budget black and white production, a kind of funny B movie that might be worth renting sometime, your thoughts were my thoughts (and my thoughts were your thoughts) as I felt the same way after seeing the trailer. So, I wasted $5.00 renting it, when I should have read my own review and bought it straight away like you just did. Now I have to spend even more money buying it. Lucky for you, you have me. This movie is a MUST own.

Filmed primarily in black and white, with color used here and there for effect, the cinematography ranges from great to breathtaking. If you want wire-fu fighting and non-stop violent sword play and death, look elsewhere. Actually, don't ... just accept Samurai Fiction for what it is: a tale of honor, revenge, innocent love, and a super cute chick (or two).

This is the kind of film that leaves beautiful, haunting images in your mind, that you'll want to revisit many times. Plus, it is peaceful, funky, cool. Or something. I forget the exact phrase.

Samurai Fiction is a highly original work with action, comedy, romance, and oddly, not one ounce of blood. Let me just say this: I saw Samurai Fiction a day or two before Kill Bill Vol. 1, and to be perfectly honest, I was let down by the latter. Now, Kill Bill is a tour de force, and amazing (I watched it again twice, or thrice) but that is just how much I enjoyed Samurai Fiction. (NOTE: since writing this review, my sister bought the DVD for me. Yay! Uh, END NOTE)

I guess I should say something negative about the film. That would be reguarding the epilogue. It is brief, and done in the humorous style of one of those movies that shows each character in the near future, and what they are doing now, ala A Fish Called Wanda. This is done to great humorous effect almost never, and did not really work for me here either. Now I feel bad. I hope the director understands. I had to say something bad, or people would be suspicious. Forgive me Hiroyuki.

I'm tired, but I guess I'll say something about the plot. Just because. A famous Japanese rock star, I mean, the character that the famous Japanese rock star is playing in the film (you know me - I forget his name) steals a treasured samurai sword that he was entrusted to protect. Enter our hero, whatever his name is, and his two buddies. They decide to pursue the thief and reclaim the sword. Sound familiar? It's not. Our hero's quest to reclaim the sword, and to prove himself is frought with the perils of a brilliantly humorous script and director. The music, done by the aforementioned Japanese rock star, is amazing: from haunting blues style guitar riffs to synchopated drum machine techno beats, it always either adds to the drama or to the humour. OK. I'm off plot and back to just praising the film. To save time, just buy it if you haven't already. OK? This film is amazing. Good stuff. Really. And then check out Red Shadow by the same director (Hiroyuki Nakano).

DO NOT BUY THIS FILM IF: You are presently boycotting Japanese films for some very, very important political reason; you live in a universe where good = bad and bad = good; you have a phobia of ninjas; or you just refuse to do what you're told. Your loss.

RECOMMENDATION: Everyone and their children, parents, grandparents, and pets should have easy continual access to Samurai Fiction. That means buy it. I guess to be fair, if you are only interested in blood, gore, sex, and exploitation cinema, then this isn't for you. This is a nice movie that makes you laugh and feel good.

While it certainly has one eye focused squarely on the conventions of samurai (chambara) cinema, it also has one eye focused on modern audiences. As such, the movie is an exciting and eminently enjoyable postmodern pastiche of classic Japanese film archetypes and MTV-generation style and wit. And what's perhaps most amazing is that it's done so in a way that's both very respectful of the former and highly accessible for the latter.

The plot is simple enough. A ronin (masterless samurai) named Kazamatsuri has stolen the ceremonial sword of the Inukai clan. Without that sword, a gift from the Shogun, the clan stands to lose quite a bit of honor, and might even be dissolved (or worse). Frantic, the clan orders a replica to be made, in hopes of fooling the Shogun. However, the son of a clan official, Heishiro, is appalled by the clan's course of action, and vows to kill Kazamatsuri and retrieve the sword. With his two childhood friends in tow, the brash young samurai heads off in pursuit of the ronin.

But when he finally encounters Kazamatsuri, he's completely unprepared for the man's incredible skill. Only the chance intervention of another samurai, Mizoguchi, saves his life, but not before one of his friends is killed and the other sorely wounded. Unable to return home due to his own injuries, he is forced to stay with Mizoguchi until he heals.

Meanwhile, Kazamatsuri has arrived at a nearby town and falls in with one of the local gangs. The leader, an ambitious woman named Okatsu (played with considerable flair by Mari Natsuki) is quite taken by the mysterious and deadly swordsman, and hopes to entice him into helping her expand her territory.

Although he finds himself drawn to Mizoguchi's idyllic, peaceful life (and falling in love with Mizoguchi's daughter, the lovely and gentle Koharu), Heishiro still feels dutybound to track down Kazamatsuri and kill him. Much to his surprise and chagrin, Mizoguchi refuses to help him and even threatens to stop him, claiming that violence and death will solve nothing. Nevertheless, Heishiro is determined to bring back the sword. When he learns of Kazamatsuri's whereabouts, Mizoguchi steps in, even though it threatens to draw him back into a violent lifestyle he left behind long ago.

Now admittedly, those last few sentences put a somewhat ominous spin on the film. But Samurai Fiction is not a dark film by any means. The word "parody" gets thrown around quite a bit when describing Samurai Fiction, but it's a parody in the way that a film like Galaxy Quest (yes, I am referring to the Tim Allen film) is a parody of "Star Trek". Both contain a certain tongue in cheek-ness, and certainly poke fun at their targets, but it's obvious that both are loving tributes made by genuine fans.

In the case of Samurai Fiction, writer/director Hiroyuki Nakano obviously brings out all of the best things about samurai cinema, while also putting a hipper, more modern spin on it for younger audiences. A much greater emphasis is placed on concepts of peace and harmony, represented by the Obi-Wan Kenobi-esque Mizoguchi, who tries to show the impetuous Heishiro a better path through life. This is contrasted with the cold, merciless Kazamatsuri, who seems to grow even colder and more malevolent as he entertains more worldly pursuits during the film's course.

Nakano, who got his start directing music videos, brings quite a bit of visual flair to the movie, which certainly ups the "cool" and "funky" factors. For starters, it features some striking black and white cinematography, an homage to classic samurai cinema like the films of Akira Kurosawa (of whom Nakano is a fan). But he also uses color in small, but impactful ways - such as using sudden flashes of red whenever someone is killed. Nakano resists doing any crazy editing (he reserved that for the disasterous Red Shadow), but he occasionally throws in a visual trick or two, and always to great effect.

Nakano also knows his way around a camera, and as such, Samurai Fiction is full of gorgeous shots, especially some amazing crane shots. In one of the movie's most beautiful and well-choreographed scenes, the camera follows two ninja sent by the Inukai clan to dispose of Kazamatsuri as they scale a seaside cliff. The camera moves up the cliff to track alongside Kazamatsuri as he strolls across the cliff, up and over, and finally settles behind him in a shot of the ocean. It's a beautifully smooth shot, and one I love watching every single time.

Cast-wise, the film is excellent. Mitsuru Fukikoshi is great as the brash yet naive Heishiro (his facial expressions and pratfalls are superb), Tomoyasu Hotei projects the right amount of badass-ness as Kazamatsuri, and Morio Kazama has some wonderful scenes as the learned Mizoguchi. Likewise, the supporting players are all uniformly excellent, from Tamaki Ogawa as the beautiful Koharu to Mari Natsuki's conniving Okatsu to Hiroshi Kanbe as Okatsu's bumbling righthand man, Gosuke. And there are a whole cast of memorable extras and cameos to boot.

And adding a nice bit of anachronistic flair to the movie is Tomoyasu Hotei's score. Hotei is one of Japan's most famous rock musicians (you might've heard his song, "Battle Without Honor Or Humanity", in the Kill Bill, Volume 1 trailer), and his score ranges from searing metal guitar solos to acoustic folk, from funky dance numbers to pastoral electronic pieces. There are moments when the music does seem a touch out of place (I don't immediately think of hot guitar riffs when I see samurai drawing their katanas), but more often than not, it's unexpectedness does lend a very "funky" vibe to the film.

My first exposure to Nakano came through the aforementioned Red Shadow, which was an absolute mess, to put it kindly. It follows along the same lines of Samurai Fiction, that being a postmodern reworking of Japanese cinema (in this case, involving ninjas) with a decidedly more modern and peaceful bent. However, Red Shadow went too far overboard into parody, such that it's only redeeming qualities are the presence of Masanobu Ando (Adrenaline Drive, Battle Royale) and the lovely Megumi Okina (Ju-on) in the lead roles.

However, with Samurai Fiction, Nakano got it completely right, striking the perfect blend of parody and homage, fluff and depth. Samurai Fiction can be enjoyed as just an offbeat and stylish samurai movie, but there is a bit more beneath the surface. Unfortunately, after such a promising start, it looks like Nakano's career has been taking a slight nosedive. Hopefully, he can pull out of it soon, and get back to making films as effortlessly entertaining as this one.

A precious ceremonial sword that is intended as a gift for the shogun is stolen by a deadly samurai named Kazamatsuri. Heishiro, the brash young son of the clan leader, decides to retrieve the sword and defend their honor. Meanwhile his father has commissioned the crafting of a duplicate and assigned two ninjas to follow and keep an eye on his son. His first encounter with Kazamatsuri leaves Heishiro seriously wounded and he only survives thanks to the intervention of Hanbei, a sword master who lives nearby. While convalescing, Heishiro gets nervous nose bleeds over Hanbei's attractive, sweet daughter, and Kazamatsuri slowly becomes obsessed with fighting Hanbei, the man who bravely bested him.

I find myself strangely divided by Samurai Fiction. As a serious fan of samurai cinema, from the astute works of Kurosawa to the basic arterial spray action of Lone Wolf and Cub, Samurai Fiction didnt really win me over. It has the more measured pace and wide framing of a classic samurai film- that I love. The film has some absolutely gorgeous visuals, and first time feature director Hiroyuki Nakano, who worked in music videos like Dee Lites "Groove is in the Heart", has a great eye. Tomoyasu Hotei, who plays Kazamatsuri, has a dangerous calm, a low, thick voice, and a cranium that belongs on Easter Island. It's almost a shame that he is such an engaging villain, because it is really his peripheral scenes that could be removed to make a tighter picture.

I guess it is the comedy that is lost on me. While I found some moments chuckle worthy, like the elder ninjas falling from the ceiling when he is called, the films jokes are pretty far and few between and often are just manic eruptions. For instance, the young actor playing Heishiro will comically mug and scream a serious line, overemphasizing it, like some bout of clownish Tourettes Syndrome. Also, the action is pretty unimpressive, and it is hard to tell based on the films tone if that was intentional or not.

Well, it was interesting, and, despite feeling it is a tad overlong, I was entertained. I just don't believe it strikes an even balance. It gets the traditional look and feel right, yet the more modern touches of comedy and the action, for me anyway, fell very flat. Maybe I'm just a prude when it comes to my samurai cinema, but I do know it it had manged to get a few more laughs out of me or wowed me with its action, I wouldnt be as wishy-washy.

Heishiro Inukai (Mitsuru Fukikoshi), short-tempered and always ready to fight is just back from the Shogun's capital of Edo, where he had been mastering the martial art of fencing.

The Nagashima clan to which Heishiro belongs had previously hired a renegade swordsman, Kazamatsuri (Tomoyasu Hotei), to guard the castle's treasures.

Far from protecting the treasures, Kazamatsuri actually steals the clan*s most precious object, a sword entrusted to the clan by the very Shogun himself. Knowing full well that if word of the stolen sword reached the ears of the shogunate, the clan would be disbanded and exiled in disgrace, the clan leaders hatch a plan to both recover the relic and install a carefully made copy.

Recently returned Heishiro, son of Clan Senior Councilor Kanzen (Taketoshi Naito), sets out to find Kazamatsuri and recover the sword. Heishiro and his two closest friends, Kurosawa and Suzuki, soon come upon Kazamatsuri who easily handles the three would-be-heroes. With Kurosawa dead and Heishiro badly wounded, Suzuki hastens back to the fief, leaving his friends in the care of a passing samurai. "Lapsed samurai" would be a better description for Hanbei Mizoguchi (Morio Kazama), a man with no official post who ekes out a living in a mountain hut he shares with his pretty daughter, Koharu (Tamaki Ogawa).

Unlike most samurai, Hanbei is a pacifist who adheres to the Way of Peace philosophy which forswears violence. As Heishiro slowly recovers from his wounds, Hanbei feeds him a steady diet of pacificist philosophy while Koharu tends to both men's material needs.

Heishiro, while eager to gain revenge on Kazamatsuri and recover the clan treasure, manages to fall in love with the gentle Koharu. Meanwhile, Kazamatsuri is employed as a bodyguard by a vamp gambler in a nearby town.

While bumbling ninja sent by Heishiro's father keep careful watch over Kazamatsuri, Heishiro gathers his strength for the showdown.