Bloody Beach: Reviews

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Bloody Beach
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    by Pathfinder

ALTERNATE SYNOPSIS:
One summer day, eight members of an internet chat club, decide to go on a vacation, to the beach. Soon they are stalked by a vicious killer called Sandmanz. "Bloody Beach" is a teen slasher flick in the vein of the "Scream" trilogy and "I Know What You Did Last Summer".
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    by Nix




If you were wondering if director In Soo Kim and his five writers (count'em, five) patterned their Teen Slasher "Bloody Beach" after their American counterparts, all you need to do is watch what happens after two characters engage in some promiscuous sex in the woods. Yep, that's right, it's Crystal Lake city, baby. It may be South Korean, and genre fans may have to read subtitles, but there's very little about "Bloody Beach" that will come across as "foreign".

"Bloody Beach" is about a group of Internet chat buddies who decides to finally meet, converging on one of the chatter's beach house for some fun, sun, and of course sex. Unbeknownst to them, one of their friends has already met the wrong end of a knife on a train before she could join up with the others. The rest, meanwhile, spend the next 40 minutes of screen time frolicking and flirting in the sun, unaware that a mysterious killer nicknamed Sandmanzz (after his chat username handle) is stalking them, waiting for the right time to do some slicing and dicing.

As mentioned, after the initial killing onboard a train, "Bloody Beach" spends an exorbitant amount of screentime in the sun. It's not until the 50-minute mark that the second killing finally comes around; up until this point, and discounting the train episode, "Bloody Beach" could almost be mistaken for one of those generic High School Teen movies. Soon it's revealed that a year ago a lie spread by Sang-tae (Jeong-jin Lee) had spurred Sandmanzz, then an anonymous chatter, to commit suicide. But as it turns out that was also a lie, and Sandmanzz is alive and well and he's one of the friends!

Of course for the script's "he's one of us" premise to work, the filmmakers had to come up with a way for the "friends" to know each other, and yet still not know each other. As a result, the whole Internet chat room revolution comes into play, with many of the characters strangers to one another until they finally meet on a train platform for the trip to a beach house owned by introvert Won-il (Hyun Kyoon Lee). It's here that director In Soo Kim tries to convince us that any one of the four male friends could very well be the killer. Curiously, the girls get exempted.

"Bloody Beach" runs 90 minutes, but only about 30 minutes of that is worthy of being called a Teen Slasher. The rest spends too much time with inconsequential nonsense like set-up and background exposition. If fans of the genre know one thing, it's that we don't need no stinkin' background exposition. It's also revealed that one of the friends know who Sandmanzz is, and is actively helping him to commit his crimes. Needless to say, this makes absolutely no sense, especially since this friend is himself sliced and diced by Sandmanzz later on. Gaping plot hole, anyone?

The killings in "Bloody Beach" are generic, but quite bloody. One in particular, involving an ax and a victim's prone legs, takes the cake. The rest of the kills aren't quite as creative, although it should be mentioned that "Bloody Beach" does end up killing almost everyone except the Fair Hair Lead. After all, it's Genre Rule that you can never ever kill the Fair Hair Lead, who must always be left alive to take on the bad guy mano-a-mano. Played by Hyun-Jung Kim, our Fair Hair Lead is, as also dictated by Genre Rules, the first one to utter the immortal line, "something's wrong" or variations of such.

It's no surprise that all the characters are archetypes. Jeong-jin Lee ("Spirit of Jeet Keun Do") does the tough Alpha Male well, although his demise was a bit disappointing; one would expect such an Alpha Male to put up more of a fight. Seung-chae Lee gets the Slutty Bestfriend role, and not surprisingly, she provides the film with its T&A quotient, including an enthusiastic romp in a parked car. Min-sun Kim, from "Memento Mori" and "Afrika", has a brief cameo as the first victim, who takes a knife to the throat after getting left behind on a train. How did this happen? You'll have to see it to believe it.

As the saying goes, it ain't brain surgery, folks. "Bloody Beach" is what it is, and for fans of what it is, it's not an entirely bad entry. Perhaps it's a bit too predictable and slow in the beginning, and the villain, once exposed, proves to be unthreatening. The script has plenty of holes, although it should be mentioned that this is probably one of the first movies to really show "online chatting" with any believability. In most movies, "chat rooms" look more like a word processor program. Not so here.

Although it's a South Korean movie, you've seen "Bloody Beach" before. But for those who have wondered how the Koreans would treat the Teen Slasher genre, this is an okay film to find out.

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    by City On Fire
    www.cityonfire.com




A group of teenagers are part of an online chat club and now they're planning a party on an isolated beach where they can meet in person and get acquainted with each other. Little do they know, a user that goes by the name "sandmanzz" is waiting for them. You see, "sandmanzz" was a person that was ignored, made fun of, and banned from the club. Somehow, he knows about their little beach trip and now...he's out for blood.

"sandmanzz", how imaginative.

First of all, why call it "Bloody Beach" when they could have called it "I know what you did last summer when I heard you scream on Friday the 13th in Korea"? It's a more suiting title since it borrows heavily from every popular slasher film ever made. Hell, director Kim In-Soo even says it himself: "Bloody Beach is typical of a horror movie, with its settings being an isolated beach in summer... instead of inventing or even changing these elements, I tried to keep all the classical elements and arrange them in a way that would create the most scary and taunting scenes ever."

Too bad he forgot to include those "scary and taunting scenes" - otherwise, he's right on target.

Whether "Bloody Beach" is a homage or celebration to slasher films, I'll have to be honest and tell you what I really thought of it, no matter what the director was going for...it blew. It blew more than all those chicks did in "Girls Who Like To Give Blowjobs Vol. 1-5". I don't mind campy horror films. I don't mind campy horror films that rip off other campy horror films. This one was bland, uninteresting and the makers or writers should have easily been able to construct something more valid than what they came up with.

I can't say that I wasn't entertained at all, since I did sit through the whole 89 minutes. I guess it was one of those instances where I was just waiting for that big twist or gory scene that might give this film some kind of redeeming value. There was definitely a twist, but it was weak. It wasn't "holy shit! I didn't see that coming!!!", it was more like "oh, so that's the killer." There was definitely gore, but it's the same shit we've seen before (listening to all those Kurtis Blow tapes finally paid off). If I was entertained, then it's entertainment at it's lowest.

You wanna know what really sucked? Kim Min-Sun's ("Memento Mori") role. She was definitely the main reason why I was attracted to this film to begin with. I knew she wasn't the main star, but I didn't know her part was as small as it was. I guess I felt the same way Drew Barrymore fans felt when they saw "Scream". Oh shit, sorry if I just gave something away. :)

Another thing that sucked was the Chumbawambaa song. I'm not sure which was worse, that song or this film.

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