REVIEW:
The premise of Dreaming Fists with Slender Hands is solid while the actual execution is less than desirable.

Ho Hu and San Lung (Ching Kuo Chung) are two martial brothers sent by their aging master in search of better training. But really, their skills are so weak that they're easily defeated by a pack of thugs led by Shen Piao (Lung Fei). Shen and his men just happen to be extorting money from the town and two of his former martial art school pupils each decide to train Ho and San, although it all appears to be an accident. After the townsfolk gets the mistaken idea that Ho and San are top fighters, they send them after the thugs and Ho ends up thrown into their underground prison. With him is a wily martial arts master played by Hau Pak Wai who easily breaks them out. Appreciating the elder man's skills, Ho performs the necessary groveling in order to become his pupil. Meanwhile, the rotund San Lung has found work in a restaurant in order to pay for his healthy eating habits. The proprietor played by the devilishly attractive Woo Gam turns out to be Hau's former martial arts peer. In what appears to be a form of browbeating sadism, Woo verbally abuses the simpleminded San as she trains him to fight as a woman. The poor sap is even forced to where woman's shoes, the kind once used for women with bound feet. In a completely unflattering and dull series of training exercises, both young men slowly learn to master their new martial skills. The pair eventually team up to challenge and defeat Lung Fei and his cronies.

Talk about uninspired, this film is about as predictable and lazy in its narrative as humanly possible. Lung Fei is in a throwaway role as one of the most pathetic villains I can recall in recent memory. He takes money from the town's leaders, argues with Woo Gam who berates him the same way she does poor San and does nothing about it. Then he's beaten by two misfits, one a fat man who "fights like a girl." The "Dreaming Fists" refers to Ho's training which allows him to appear asleep when he's fighting. This type of style has been performed much more effectively in other films. The sleeping swordsman in John Woo's Last Hurrah for Chivalry (1979) is a good example. The "Slender Hands" refers to San Lung's "fay" kung fu style and provides ample fodder for tired gay jokes. The sight of this large fat guy performing dainty kung fu is meant to be entertaining, but its not. Had it been Sammo Hung in the role, it probably would have worked. At least the martial arts would have been worth watching.

Woo Gam is one of those regular female actresses who has appeared in dozens of low grade Taiwanese films and usually in the role of a bitchy teahouse owner. Nothing's new this time, except that her role is more prominent and she's portrayed as a martial arts expert which is a joke. Her fighting and training scenes are pretty lame. The two young leads who play Ho Hu and San Lung, both look like extras. They're just not star material and they lack charisma and skill. Hau Pak Wai is a Simon Yuen rip-off without the pipe, wine, or charm.

Though meant to be a light-hearted comedy, Dreaming Fists with Slender Hands is more like a kung fu fan's worst nightmare. Clunky choreography, a disengaging story, and a complete lack of effort shown on the part of the filmmakers to even try and make a decent film results in a prime example of the cheap Taiwanese product that once flooded the market.