Black Cougar (Tang) is a slick superthief with extraordinary talents. When a new client promises Black Cougar unimaginable riches for one seemingly straight-forward mission, he naturally accepts. He therefore builds a team of like-minded persons all with their own amazing skills: there's a gun-toting charmer who can fire bullets with incredible precision (Leung); a suave gambler who uses playing cards as his weapon (Yam); a beautiful, needle-throwing woman (Ng); an equally charming swordswoman (Lin); a bizarre computer genius (Cheung); and a newcomer who is a skilled fighter (Chan). The actually task - stealing a well-guarded box from a police station - goes without a hitch and all seems to be going well. However, Cougar finds himself betrayed by his employer and is consequently imprisoned by the enemy. These duplicitous employers prove to be working for Bloody Wolf (Wah), Cougar's supposedly dead brother. With a whole army facing them, the Black Panther Warriors need to rely on each other to defeat the villains.

Somewhere on earth, there might a exist a computer than can decipher the meaning of 'The Black Panther Warriors' - but that's doubtful. Everyone hears about how mind-numbing the film is and people attempt to be the one who will actually understand the 'comedy' etc, but no-one has ever succeeded. A very ordinary storyline is weighed down by some of the strangest (and most annoying) characters ever to have hit the screen and an avalanche of stupifying, often tasteless, comedy. What drives the final nails in the coffin of this is one of the worst subtitling jobs ever by Mega Star; it's hard to remember a sentence that makes any sense. The only slight redemption is the wildly imaginative and surreal action sequences that prop up the film. These show that Clarence Ford at least knows how to create a visually striking feature. Nonetheless, a potential viewer has to ask themselves if they're prepared to watch the following:

1. Tony Leung doing acrobatics and literally going insane everytime he hears Mandarin.
2. Dicky Cheung (aggghhhh!!!!) salivating like a baby if he doesn't have a dummy in his mouth.
3. Ludicrous melodrama that pops up every now and again.

PICTURE: With all the great films that have received poor DVD transfers, its disheartening to report that this is an excellent anamorphic print. There are a few white specks on the print, but overall its very good. Colour definition is strong as is the detailed flesh-tones. The major downside, as was said in the review, is the incomprehensible subtitling job that Mega Star have done.

SOUND: 5.1 Cantonese or Mandarin soundtracks with English, Traditional Chinese, Simplified Chinese, Japanese, Korean, Bahasa Malaysia, Bahasa Indonesia, Thai and Vietnamese subtitles (removable).

TRAILERS: Just one for the film itself.

EXTRAS: None.

REVIEW:
Warning Label: This film contains graphic scenes of moronic stupidity and tasteless humor. Active viewing may cause irritation, confusion, nausea, and fits of incredulous laughter. And if you think that this is just an attempt to get your attention, read on...

Since I do have your attention, let me begin by saying that The Black Panther Warriors is one of the screwiest films ever to come out of Hong Kong. I'm talking about comparisons to Freddy Got Fingered here. Its an action film where the action goes to extremes... no, really! This is sadly Alan Tang's last film and its certainly no way to end a prolific career. He plays Black Cougar, the leader of a group of mercenaries whom he hires for one more "job" before retiring. Its immediately made clear that the film is all shlock as Alan goes flying about on his motorcycle, as sparkling blades give chase.

Filmed at the height of Hong Kong's '90's-era action renaissance, the movie is a mixed parody from the likes of God of Gamblers, Full Contact, and various modern wire-fu extravaganzas like The Heroic Trio. In that way, the film almost succeeds. Early scenes cleverly use rapid editing to humorously enhance each of the main character's skills. Oozing with charm, Simon Yam handles a deck of cards like a bullwhip and takes the unbelievable card-handling tricks seen in the Trinity "spaghetti western" series to infinity and beyond. Tony Leung is the more annoyingly childish cohort whose specialty with weapons includes the ability to assemble and disassemble a firearm in mid-air. His penchant for doing vintage Daffy Duck impersonations whenever he hears women speak in Mandarin wears thin real fast. Carrie Ng is the seductress whose sex appeal intentionally upstages her character's abilities. Brigitte Lin's presence in this idiotic film is the real tragedy. She plays her usual straight role, minus the male impersonations and is quite stunning. Yet, the story is so far gone that she has next to nothing to work with. Comedic actor Dicky Cheung has the most ridiculous role as a computer hacker who is reduced to a drooling simpleton unless he has a pacifier or nipple in his mouth. The film's juvenile humor doesn't stop there in another embarrassing scene where Yam, Leung, and Cheung pretend to be masked rapists.

With jarringly fast action incorporating legions of baddies being gunned down, insanely huge explosions, and characters throwing projectiles of every kind as they flip and hurl themselves about, the film could at least be entertaining on a visceral and brainless level. No such luck. Lots of fast-paced and horribly translated dialogue slips by as you begin to mentally inventory your socks, due to boredom and frustration over the degenerating plot's lack of coherence.

On the positive side, people who enjoy really bizarre lunacy in their films will not be too disappointed. Much of the action is choreographed well and a few of the scenes parody Hong Kong action film brilliantly. But with no compelling story to follow, too much dialogue and mostly failed humor, even an A-list cast cannot keep me from wanting to see The Black Panther Warriors put to sleep.

A lot of the movie's (thankfully short) running time is taken up with really bad jokes, where Clarence Fok tries to create a Stephen Chow-like atmosphere, with rapid-fire dialogue and lots of pop culture references. For instance, Tony Leung's character is a parody of Andy Lau in Saviour of the Soul, complete with a cheesy blue shirt that never manages to stay all the way on. The problem is that most of the jokes aren't funny and the actors seems to be trying way too hard to deliver the lines -- "restraint" is not a word in this movie's vocabulary.

You, however, should show some restraint and not waste your time with this clunker. It's a pretty big disappointment considering the talent involved. What was Brigitte Lin thinking? There's not even any decent action to keep the viewer compelled to watched. Like the rest of the movie, it's over-clocked and poorly co-ordinated.

Alan Tang, the Black Panther, is hired by Melvin Wong's character to steal a box from a police station. Tang assembles a gang of specialists to do this. Included in the group are Simon Yam as a fantastic card shark,Tony Leung as a gun master, Brigitte Lin as a kung fu expert, and Carrie Ng as a beautiful thief.

It turns out that Cheung was actually hired by a character known as Bloody Wolf who wants to kill Tang, win Brigitte Lin and acquire Tang's dragon head sword. This sword, once owned by the revered kung fu Master of Tang, Lin and Wolf, seems to possess magical power.

The film has some great action scenes and an interesting plot. The fantasy scenes where Black Panther Tang wields the dragon head sword are great. Lin and Tang are past lovers who still carry a torch for each other. The big downer to this movie is a pacifier-sucking computer geek that helps the team break into the police station. The geek has way too much screen time, which could have been better used exploring the relationship between Lin and Black Panther. Tony Leung's gun expert character gets a bit silly too. As a fan of Alan Tang, I would have liked his Black Panther to have had more to do in this movie.

If you can ignore the pacifier geek, you will probably enjoy this film. If you like special effects, drop dead looks from Brigitte Lin, Simon Yam making out with Carrie Ng, and big complicated fight scenes, for sure you will like The BLACK PANTHER WARRIORS.