One entry in this worthy lineup is the 1972 film Godzilla vs. Gigan (Chikyû kogeki meirei: Gojira tai Gaigan), also known as Godzilla on Monster Island. The Columbia TriStar DVD was released in the United States in October 2004, along with the other Showa-era flicks Godzilla vs. Hedorah and Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla. Sony has several others, including Son of Godzilla, Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla II and Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster, slated for later release.

Directed by the late Jun Fukuda, Godzilla vs. Gigan is firmly within the Godzilla-as-superhero series of films aimed at younger audiences. Although the film takes its sweet time setting up the kaiju action, the film’s low budget is obvious and the hackneyed aliens-unleash-monsters plot is almost too silly for words, the film is still a lot of fun. It features some of Toho’s coolest monsters, and they engage in plenty of action once things get rolling.

Once again, the film dusts off the old reliable plot of aliens trying to conquer the Earth using kaiju (and really, given that the alien plot failed in Destroy All Monsters despite having, at one point, all of Earth’s kaiju beating up on various major cities, you’d think that subsequent would-be conquerors would have thought twice…). Struggling manga artist Gengo Kotaka (Hiroshi Ishikawa) stumbles onto the plot when he takes a job at the under-construction Children's Land theme park, whose centerpiece is a life-sized Godzilla model housing a kaiju museum.

On his first day on the job, Gengo bumps into a woman rushing out of the Children’s Land headquarters building, and picks up a tape she dropped. When his boss appears in pursuit of the woman, Gengo points him in the wrong direction. Later, the woman, Machiko (Tomoko Umeda) and her hippie pal Shosaku (Minoru Takashima) hold up Gengo for the tape. The hippie does the old poke-something-in-someone’s-back-so-they-think-it’s-a-gun trick, with the novel adaptation of using an ear of corn as the would-be firearm.

Gengo learns that Machiko’s brother is held prisoner by the Children’s Land corporation, which is really a front for an alien plot to conquer Earth. Luckily, Gengo’s girlfriend Tomoko (Yuriko Hishimi) is a black belt in karate, so she and Gengo team up with Machiko and Shosaku to foil the aliens’ sinister plot. (The aliens from Nebula M claim to want to establish peace on Earth, and figure eliminating the human race will pretty much do the trick.)

The film’s Macguffin is that reel-to-reel tape, which enables the aliens to control their monsters. Losing this tape to their human enemies will prove a recurring headache for the aliens – at least the sexy space chicks from Destroy All Monsters bothered to hide their cosmic control devices in coconuts and whatnot. Needless to say, the aliens also provide plenty of exposition to their human captives, giving them the information they need to take away the aliens’ trump card. (At least their life-sized Godzilla statue does have a frickin’ laser in its head.)

Let’s face it: The plot is silly. It’s just ludicrous to assume that aliens – who presumably need to keep their global domination plans incognito – would build a huge, kaiju-themed amusement part. It’s kinda conspicuous. The most lucid moment in the film comes when our heroes go to the police to reveal the alien plot, and the incredulous detective asks, “Are you people sane?”

And any film that features a shot of its two villains flying in circles around a Godzilla-shaped tower couldn’t signal any more plainly that matters are not to be taken too seriously. Perhaps because of this overall lighthearted tone, the film is able to get away with a heightened level of monster-inflicted violence. Gigan’s fierce blades even draw Godzilla’s blood!

Adding to the film’s goofiness quota is the fact that – in the English dub, anyway – Godzilla and Anguilas talk to each other! Having been alerted to the threat to Earth via the always-useful plot – er, monster control – device, the pair spend half the movie swimming from Monster Island, with Godzilla exhorting his pal in monster-ese to swim faster, and the quadruped kaiju protesting that he isn’t exactly the aquatic type.

Another amusing moment occurs when the space monsters’ approach is detected on radar. The defense force commander (Gen Shimizu) orders an audio hookup. He immediately identifies Ghidorah’s signature shriek, but admits he is unfamiliar with Gigan’s roar. This scene is, of course, the cue for the Japanese Self Defense Force to roll out its tanks, missile launchers and laser cannon for their ritual stomping by the rampaging monsters. The first fight takes place at the film’s halfway point, but the kaiju action remains fairly non-stop after that point.

In fact, once Godzilla and Anguilas finally arrive on the scene, viewers are treated to an extended battle sequence in which the four monsters square off in a tag-team battle with, once again, the fate of the world at stake. The action is mostly mano a mano; Godzilla generally eschews his radioactive breath weapon in favor of good old-fashioned kaiju-fu. Anguiras even gets to use his signature move of launching himself backwards at his foe, who is impaled on the scrappy kaiju’s spiked carapace.

On the bad guy’s fight card, the space cyborg Gigan is one nifty monster, with a pair of wicked meathooks on the end of his arms and abdominal spikes that form an actual buzzsaw. Gigan would go on to make an appearance the following year in Godzilla vs. Megalon.

This film also marked the final appearance for King Ghidorah in a Showa era film, which is good, because Godzilla must have been getting tired of putting the smackdown on this guy. It also marked the final appearance of Haruo Nakajima in the Godzilla suit.

The lengthy, Tokyo-destroying kaiju rampage, which otherwise might have proved prohibitively expensive, is possible thanks to generous use of stock footage from such films as Ghidrah, The Three-Headed Monster and Destroy All Monsters. Of course, the use of stock footage is sometimes painfully obvious – during the scene in which King Ghidorah and Gigan attack Tokyo, some of the footage of Ghidorah blowing things up is unmistakably set in daytime, although the scene itself takes place at night. Godzilla fans may also enjoy trying to spot other Toho monsters (including Mothra and Rodan) that appear in the backgrounds of certain stock footage shots. But at least Fukuda stages his monster fights in an urban setting, rather than the less impressive tropical islands used as a cost-saving measure in such films as Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster and Godzilla’s Revenge.

Anyway, the film’s occasional cheesiness can easily be forgiven as it’s unapologetically aimed at children. Even the hero’s lame manga creations, like the “Homework Monster” and the “Too-Strict Mother Monster,” are a wink in that direction. Not surprisingly, my two young daughters love this movie, and so do I. While it lacks the grimmer, more mature tone of much of Ishirô Honda’s Godzilla films, it’s unabashedly silly fun that still provides plenty of cool kaiju rumbles once the lengthy exposition is taken care of.

The film’s pleasing soundtrack, credited to monster master Akira Ikifube, is actually stock music lifted from several of the prolific composer’s other scores for Toho films...

Godzilla vs. Gigan is an unapologetically silly but entertaining film. While its alien-conquest plot seems phoned in, it serves its sole purpose: to set up more than a half hour of rousing monster battles...

Well, nothing in the world of film pisses me off more than a serious fan, someone who wrings out every ounce of enjoyment from a movie and looks at it with most bitter of critical eyes. They turn their noses up at the "kiddie" films of the 1970s, forgetting all the while that the reason they seem so childish is because, well, they were made for kids, you nerd! They weren't made for some college drop-out film geek to analyze frame by frame on his DVD player while counting down the minutes until he once again has to jack off to the La Blue Girl cartoons.

Here at Teleport City, we stand in firm and unwavering defense of the Godzilla of the 1970s. Sure the films were cheap. The special effects were not up to the high standard set by the 1960s productions. The plots were often ludicrous at best. But more important to me is the fact that the films are a tremendously fun time. They are full of vibrant colors, outlandish aliens, monster wrestling, and plenty of good old fashioned destruction. As a lad, I grew up on the Godzilla films of the 1970s, and perhaps that, more than any other reason, is why I love them so dearly and totally do not relate to the contempt with which they are viewed by many people.

There are three films that often battle for the title "worst Godzilla film of all time," and predictably enough, I unconditionally love all three of them. Far and away the most hated film in the series is Godzilla's Revenge, but we will get to that film in due time. The other two films vying for the position are Godzilla Versus Megalon and Godzilla Versus Gigan, both of which feature Gigan, a cool cyborg monster with a buzzsaw in his belly!

Godzilla Versus Gigan begins with the wacky exploits of a frustrated comic book artist who is offered a job by a strange corporation. Their plan is to build replicas of all the monsters on Earth, then kill the real ones off. That way, people can come see the monsters and ride roller coasters out of their mouths, but there will be no real danger to humanity, and as a result, we will enter a golden age of peace and harmony or something. I love me a good roller coaster, and though I don't know if amusement parks are the key to global harmony, I'm certainly willing to give it a try. And although I would hate to see all the Earth's monsters killed, those plans for a giant monster themed fun park sure sounded like a good idea.

Sure enough, though, the corporate guys aren't totally friendly. Nor are they totally human. Yes, once again, we are the target of marauding invaders from space. These guys were all over the place during the 1970s. But just because they are here to conquer us and set up a peaceful Eden doesn't mean they can't take time out to build a giant replica of Godzilla. You know that thing is getting smashed by the Big G before the credits roll.

There are certain things in these sorts of films that are givens. For example, the bad guys will always tie up the hero and explain the whole plan for world domination -- making certain to highlight all the possible pitfalls and weak links in the plan. Then, while they are watching one of those rounded-corner TV screens, the hero will somehow manage to loosen his bonds. We accept this. It's a time-honored convention. But these are the only villains who not only explain their plan in detail, but actually present charts, graphs, and a short documentary on the subject. In that sense, their disguise as corporate cogs and middle managers is perfect. If you made this film today, they would come armed with a lengthy PowerPoint presentation.

The dashing comic artist and his cute karate-trained girlfriend team up with a chubby hippie guy and a disgruntled woman who used to work for the sinister corporation. Together, they intend to stick it to the aliens. Okay, so maybe it's not the elite team we'd hope would combat marauding aliens if ever they came to Earth. I mean, A cartoonist, his checkerboard-dress wearing karate girlfriend, the corn-lovin' hippie, and the marketing woman team up to fight the aliens disguised as amusement park owners. All they need is a dog and a van covered with flowers, and you have a whole different series.

Anyway, I'll take a cartoonist and his karate girl, a hippie, and a disgruntled woman any day over a squeaky kid in micro-shorts.

The aliens decide to raze the Earth because, well, why the hell not? Foolish ETs. Don't they know we humans have a guardian? That guardian is Godzilla. And to a lesser extend, Angilas.

The aliens send Gigan out to smash things up. Gigan looks cool, but you have to question the hand design there. The hook looks tough and all, but you'd think at some point some fingers would come in handy. Maybe one hand and one big hook or something. Anyway, Gigan gets a little help from everybody's favorite three-headed dragon thing, the mighty King Ghidrah, who has certainly looked mightier in previous days. In this film, it looks like they found the costume out in the alley and were like, "Remember this old dude? Let's use him one last time!" Ghidrah has certainly seen better days. It was like watching Andre the Giant during the end of his wrestling career when he was having really bad health problems. Or watching Ric Flair now.

Anyway, the big advantage for the heroes is that neither evil monster has any damn hands.

So you have your teams: Godzilla and Angilas versus Gigan and Ghidrah, and on the mid-card, hip Japanese heroes versus the square corporate aliens. Look at it as a counter-culture sort of thing. The fringe fighting back against a massive corporation that wants to impose global homogeneity, "peace" corporate style and at the expense of free thought. Godzilla, the living breathing creature versus a heartless cyborg. For some reason, I don't know if I would bet the farm on the writers of this script wanting to make a "Freaks versus The Man" movie, but what the hell? The glory of film studies is I can make any damn shit up I want. And the leader of the aliens does have a Bill Gates haircut.

This film has lots of other little gems. Like the fact that Godzilla talks. Yes indeed. He and Angilas gab to one another before swimming to Japan to beat alien ass. I think this only happens in the dubbed version. But get this: in the original Japanese version, I hear they actually spoke in comic book word bubbles! I have never seen the original Japanese version, but that sounds pretty amazing.

All in all, this movie is not the best written film in the world. It doesn't have the best special effects I've ever seen. That honor goes to Plan 9 from Outer Space. And sure, a lot of scenes may be stock footage from superior films like Rodan and Ghidrah, the Three-Headed Monster. And yes, I see the point of the many people who look at this film as if it was a piece of doggy poo. I just don't agree with them. You got lots of monster action. You got aliens. You got a beautiful karate kicking lady. You got hippies and comic book nerds saving the planet. And you have no annoying little kids in micro-shorts. When I was little, I was utterly enthralled by the Technicolor madness that is Godzilla Versus Gigan. Twenty years after I first saw it, I'm just as happy. Never mind the bullocks. Embrace Godzilla Versus Gigan.

This film was also released under the title Godzilla on Monster Island, which only makes sense, seeing how al the action takes place nowhere near Monster Island. Still, you catch a glimpse of the place for about ten seconds, so there you go. Also, nerd point: Kenpachiro Satsuma plays Gigan the monster. He also played Hedorah in Godzilla Versus the Smog Monster, but is best known as the ultra-cool man beneath the Godzilla suit in every film since Godzilla 1985. Now take that tidbit with you to the next convention, and hardcore fans will go, "Tell me something I don't know, Chappy. Hey look! A girl in a Sailor Moon outfit!" which is better than what I saw. Imagine a two-hundred fifty pound hairy comic geek in a Japanese school girl outfit. *Shudder*

In the interests of futility, however, we will attempt to explain things for you briefly. On an Earth-like planet far away, there lived a race of creatures similar to humans. Like humans, they polluted their planet mercilessly and waged war on each other every chance they got. Eventually, the planet became so uninhabitable that the entire race died out and all that was left were the cockroaches. These cockroaches--though able to sustain life on this damaged planet--decide to come to Earth and take over. To do this, they first send down a few of their best, who proceed to "take over" some human bodies. Exactly how they do this is never addressed. All we know is that after they "take over" a human, they speak, look and act just like a human; but their shadows are cockroach-shaped. You still with us?

Now, these cockroach people--like all alien races desiring to hijack a planet--have a master plan. It is rather vague as far as master plans go, but it is fun to watch. Their plan consists of building a children's amusement park that doubles as an anti-Godzilla attack station. Why kill Godzilla? Well, their reasoning on this is a bit vague, but it seems they think that Godzilla is the only thing that might be able to protect the human race from them. So, they build their amusement park and recruit a couple monsters from outer space, and summon Godzilla to try and finish him off for good.

All the while, our main character--a despicable cartoonist of questionable sexual orientation--is sneaking around and acting generally suspicious of the cockroach people. He eventually hooks up with a couple of peace activists who suspect that the cockroach people are up to no good. One of them, a rotund, long-haired man, always seems to be eating some type of phallus-shaped food. Either it's a banana, or a strategically-eaten ear of corn, but it's always something long and uncomfortable to watch. The other activist is a woman, who proves to be the gutsiest of the group, managing to steal some secret audio recording from the roach people. This recording, it turns out, is what the roach people use to control their ally monster buddies.

It really all goes downhill from there, when Godzilla teams up with the imbecilic Anguillas, some type of prehistoric stegosaurus/porcupine hybrid. Of particular note is the scene in which Godzilla talks to Anguillas, "Come On!" A Godzilla first... Once the two are underway, it becomes apparent that Anguillas' talents are centered around getting his butt kicked repeatedly. In fact, all he does throughout most of the picture is whine loudly and get in Godzilla's way. Nonetheless, it's fun to watch a guy in a crazy rubber porcupine suit walking around on his knees everywhere getting beaten up.

We can only recommend this film to fans of garbage cinema, but to those people we recommend it wholeheartedly. This film is a dream come true for Mystery Science Theater 3000 fans; and it should bring a smile to even the most cynical face. The whole film is a true masterpiece of lunacy, and as such will always hold a proud place in our hearts.

Unfortunately, the fact that Godzilla is falling to pieces in front of our eyes is not the worst problem in this film. Beyond the obvious budget problems on display, the script is pretty ridiculous, even by the standards of Godzilla movies. Keep in mind, we're talking about a series of films that seems to think nothing of trotting out dozens of different alien races, all from different planets, yet all of whom feel the irrestible urge to wear jumpsuits. In Godzilla vs Gigan, the jumpsuited aliens (they wear orange this time) have come up with the goofiest plan for world conquest we've seen yet. Taking a page from "The Official Godzilla Movie Alien Conquest Handbook," giant monsters are part of their plan, but so is having their secret headquarters in a huge Godzilla-shaped tower situated in the middle of a amusement park.

Aliens hiding in an amusement park? That seems kind of unlikely outside of a Scooby-Doo episode, doesn't it? If we were aliens trying to take over the world, we would probably disguise ourselves as the heads of a huge software company. That way, even though we would speak gibberish and would have haircuts suitable for scaring children, no one would question the fact that we were human. That, and we would have a perfect excuse for our obvious meglomaniacal tendencies!

Who is our last line of defense against the insidious amusement park alien invaders? Is it a crack team of paramilitary commandos? Is it two wise-cracking men in black? Is it an alien with a British accent and a time machine that looks like a police box? No, it's an out-of-work cartoonist, his perky but fashion impaired girlfriend, and a hippie who is never without a half-eaten corn cob in his hand. You know, we humans have managed to hold back the seeming endless waves of alien invaders up to this point, but this may be the time the aliens get lucky.

One of the most crucial elements in any giant monster film is a balance between the "giant monsters fighting" scenes and the "humans talking about stuff" scenes. Quite frankly, the more interaction between the humans and the monsters, the better, but Godzilla vs Gigan hardly ever achieves that. The scenes in which people talk about the plot delay the monster appearances for too long, and the length of time it takes Gigan and his pal Ghidorah to lay waste to Tokyo means that you can go ten minutes or more listening to nothing but explosions and roars. Unless you're seriously immersed in the giant monster action, this movie can drag pretty badly.

Although this is one of several "alien conquest" films in the Godzilla series, few movies can match the awfulness of the aliens here. These extraterrestrials have exposition sickness in the worst way. Not only do they explain their plan in full ("If we didn't have these tapes, we wouldn't be able to control the monsters"), but they show a freakin' documentary to explain how they got to Earth in the first place! Of course, these aliens have occupied human bodies, because actual alien costumes cost money.

What is even worse than the aliens is the way the monsters are portrayed. In a move that has been reviled by Godzilla fans everywhere, Godzilla and Angilas actually have a conversation towards the beginning, courtesy of distorted voices (in the original Japanese version, we've read they used cartoon ballons). This movie also features some of the goofiest monster fighting in any of the Godzilla movies, including some unlikely tag team tactics from Godzilla and Angilas.

A few blows in this movie's favor: It has a very high monster-to-human ratio. Considering that the title only lists two monsters, it's a nice surprise that there are in fact four rampaging around Japan here. (We're not including the footage from Destroy All Monsters that appears near the beginning of the film.) Ghidorah, everyone's favorite gold-lamé three-headed dragon, accompanies Gigan to Earth, and Angilas fights (rather ineffectually) at Godzilla's side. Unfortunately, the film didn't have much of a budget, so most of the scenes of the city being destroyed are made up of stock footage from earlier films, particularly Ghidrah, the Three Headed Monster.

Also on the plus side, there are a few neat twists on the human side of things. The cartoonist's girlfriend turns out to be a black-belt in karate, so when there's butt-kicking to do, she gets to do it. As a result, she spends a lot of time questioning her boyfriend's masculinity, which is fun to watch. Also, the escape from the Godzilla tower is particularly cool -- our heroes actually formed a plan to escape! All we can say is that it involves a weather balloon and lots of rope.

Godzilla vs Gigan is not the film we'd recommend for anyone's first Godzilla experience -- it has too many scenes that run long, and the aliens aren't even bad in a fun way, they're just bad. The plot, while not complicated, has a few holes (the characters are particularly fond of jumping to conclusions without supporting evidence), and the monsters are looking pretty sad. At least we can take comfort in the fact there were other, better movies soon to follow before the original Godzilla series met its demise.