I honestly don't get where all this animosity for this film comes from. People diss it because the girl is small so many basically sign right here off as weak. Size is a factor in power. That I can't deny, but also so is proper technique. With good technique any sized individual can manifest amazing power beyond their stature. I'd love for you folks to question the power of the small man who taught me Muay Thai. I'm a good sport so I would totally call an ambulance for you after I finished laughing my ass off at what he did to you.

Allow me to be equal parts sexist and scientific. There is a greater need for suspension of disbelief in any movie were a small or average sized chick physically takes out grown men. Because that doesn't happen. Men are bigger, stronger and have higher endurance to physical trauma than women. Don't give me that damn look. I didn't make up physics. Look dat shit up. So basically if you hold any film where a woman is a complete badass in high regard, then on some level you too have disregarded reason in favor of entertainment. Good for you, that is what it's there for.

The martial arts choreography and delivery in this film are exemplary as well as extraordinary. Many critics have touted Jeeji Yanin as the female Tony Jaa, which isn't really fair to her as she does have her own distinct style and flair, though many of the large and daring moves do have that trademark Thai seal of approval like Tony's stuff.

Honestly, folks, why are you dissing the plot of this movie? Yeah, the story is kind of lame, but is that really why you are watching? It is disgraceful for any action junkie to disregard or blast on this movie. Top class fights and stunts keep this in a league of its own, but the yummy violence doesn't stop there. There's some rough and tumble gunplay in full effect. The shootouts don't have the dramatic flair of say a John Woo film, so you won't see any slow-mo, two-gun, dive through the air, exchange fire for five minutes type of jazz. No, the gunplay is more Quentin Tarantino styled--abrupt, gritty, and in your face. No stand-offs. Usually when you see a piece in this flick, cats are in the process of getting shot the fuck up.

Also toward the end there is a balls out, slash 'em up sword battle that gets the blood flowing. That sword battle is raw and intense. If I had it my way, every flick would have to incorporate at least one swordfight or end with a swordplay duel. Hell, I would have actually watched "The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants" if I knew at the end they all kill each other with swords. That I would pay to see. Again, don't give me that damn look.

Some folks also say that the heroine doesn't get to take on a decent challange in the flick. You folks are forgetting about Mr. Adidas: four eyes, short bus, break dancing heavy twitcher. He was wild and very enjoyable to watch with his break dancing Capoiera-fu. How was he not a worthy challenge?

I tried my best not to give up the coveted five star grand prize, but this bad little ass kicker earned it. Is the story groundbreaking and Oscar worthy? Nope. Is it perfect? Not really. But excellence in the desired arena can trump all that garbage. When a movie excels in certain areas to such a phenomenal degree, and it achieves the intended type of entertainment that it was striving for with utmost quality, then all our pretensions and over-analyses become meaningless, because we know we were entertained and that chances are we are going back for second and third helpings. You don't do that with bad or mediocre flicks. You do that with great movies.

In my opinion, this is the best bad ass chick flick, trumping the reigning champs, "Yes, Madam" and "Book Of Heroes". I defy any reviewer here to find or name a better ass kicking chick movie. If you disagree with this review I'm going to expect you to name-drop a better bad-ass chick flick. If you can't think of one and are of the collection of reviewers that clocked on this movie, then I'm going to ask you to reevaluate your feelings on this film and watch it again. You may have missed something. Something great. You know the name and the game's still the same. Keep it real, folks. Peace.

"The Last Eve" is a retelling of some poorly told stories from a book that teaches intolerance, hate, and fundamental hypocrisy as a tool to formulate irrational and often malicious fables. That's right kids, bible tales for the arthouse crowd. Young Man Kang (the writter and director of this steaming pile) displays his devotion and fixation on God and penises in this epic, genre-blending collection of short films that may inspire you to consider suicide before having to see a flick like this again.

This film can cause extensive nerve damage. Or how about this: this film is made by people that are so extensively damaged that it gets on my nerves. I shall now present the individual and specific warnings for each segment of the film and judge them accordingly.

"Eve's Secret": 0 Stars. This short film is one of the worst things that I have ever seen in my life. Let me also spoil it for you: Eve's big secret is that she has a dick. Incidently, Young Man Kang makes it no secret that he loves the dick as it is the recurring star of this short film. The fights in this one are slow, shoddy and poorly arranged, but that's okay seeing as how everything else in this one disappoints. Atrocious acting and storytelling. This is honestly one the worst things on Earth.

"Cain & Abel": 4 Stars. The second story presented and the only one worth watching. Unlike the other two short films that are in English, this one is in Korean with English subtitles. This actually makes for a decent improvement on line delivery. The story was still as disjointed as the other shorts, but this one at least had several moments of promise. All of the good fights in the entire film occur in this short story. "Cain & Abel" has about 3 to 4 fights, but 2 of them are exceptional. One of the fights displays some very good Korean style swordfighting and the end fight has some mediocre Muay Thai but also some excellent Tae Kwon Do that is so top class it really doesn't even belong in a movie like this. This is the only worthwhile aspect of this DVD, so savor it.

"Snake's Temptation": 0 Stars. Pathetic. Soap opera trash that features the worst acting on the planet. Again poorly written and directed. The punchline of this sorry ass waste of cameras and effort is that there isn't even a fight in this the final installment of the movie that could disappoint a blind midget with a microscopic dick. Also I feel I should mention that if a director has no problems filming a dick on screen shown at random, then he should at least have the common decency to show off some nice bare breasts for those of the audience that realize the simple fact that a dick is a very ugly thing. A nude woman? Not so much. Just a thought.

This film may not represent everything that is wrong with the world, but it sure as shit is definitely part of the problem. Invest in a knife of some kind because if anyone ever convinces you to watch this flick, afterward you'll probably want to stab them. This is Bastard Ronin and that is the story I'm sticking to until my attorney advises me otherwise. Stay drunk and horny, kids. Peace out.

"Red Belt" is one of those films that unites its writing, direction and strong cast performances into something that is provacative as well as entertaining. It is also one of those films that you kind of have to watch more than just once to appreciate its depth. The movie centers around a protagonist that still lives, preaches and teaches the code of samurai honor that guides him. For the most part, the majority of the cast are antagonists and plot devices that seek to corrupt or profit off of the hero. Can a modern day samurai persevere in a corrupt society full of greed, deciet and financial adversity? You should probably watch to find out.

I should also address the fight choreography. Well, if you like Jujitsu like I like Jujitsu, then gazoondheidt. Seriously, the fights were great and got to employ some great Jujitsu throws, locks, chokes and counters. The end fight between the hero and John Machado is delicious and good for you. The cinematography, combined with a Japanese style drum-based score, fueled much of the emotion and power of many of the scenes.

If I were to grade this film purely as a samurai film I give it 5 stars. No take-backs. This film should be in the collection of every film connoisseur, martial artist and samurai fan.

11 AWESOME MOVIES THAT YOU MAY HAVE WATCHED NOT REALIZING THAT THEY WERE EXCELLENT SAMURAI FILMS:

11. Way Of The Gun"

10. Die Hard"
John McClane is the original American samurai.

9. Kill Bill Vol.1

8. Sin City
Every Frank Miller hero is essentially a samurai.

7. Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope
If you don't get how this is a samurai flick, then I'm not gonna' bother explaining it.

6. Batman (Tim Burton,1989)
The original American samurai in literature.

5. Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace
Seriously, go watch it again. Then watch it again. Ignore the Jar Jars like you ignored C3PO, the Ewoks, and how whiney Luke was from the originals. This movie is all about the path of a samurai.

4. Ghost Dog: Way Of The Samurai
Just because "way of the samurai" is in the title doesn't mean everyone gets the fact that this is a pure samurai film.

3. Red Belt
Didn't I just review that? Weird.

2. Fight Club
Again, if I have to explain it, you might not get it anyway. But trust me, on many levels this is a samurai film too.

1. Throw Down
Powerful and engaging--this is at the top of the food chain when it comes to modern day samurai films.

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Let me begin by saying that I am not the biggest fan of MMA. I am very particular about the fights that I watch. I like Elite XC (Kimbo Slice rocks the house), WCL and those Hawaiian Super Brawls. My favorites are Shidokan, K1, WCL, and of course good old boxing.

For the most part I got beef with MMA in general but especially UFC. While it did start on some pretty real and 'bout it type shit, it degenerated into a a bunch of plumbers, truck drivers, red-necks and attention-starved jocks. Most mixed martial artists are not really martial artists at all, they're just jocks. If you spend three to five hours in the gym lifting weights and half an hour working on techniques and your entire arsenal is under 25 techniques (or at least that is all of the techniques that you understand well enough to apply), then you are just not a martial artist in my eyes. You ain't no warrior, son, you're a sportsman. Most of the martial artists that I know (myself included) have to spend several hours practicing just to maintain the multitude of techniques they/we know. Most MMA fighters' "combat system" is a hybrid style of heavily abridged Brazilian Jujitsu combined with the sorriest excuse for Muay Thai in existence. These fools don't know how to roll their hips, oompah, box lock and I've actually seen people let their opponets get out of rear naked chokes. Pathetic. However, on the flipside, if you manage to catch a match with two disciplined and devoted fighters you can see some of the best and most creative fights around. That being said, I think you're starting to get my whole love/hate thing with MMA. I guess I should get to the actual review.

Normally, I don't like to give any spoilers or plot summaries because I think only tools do that, but in cases like these I like to paraphrase the plots for the sake of insight, humor and sport. A young Tom Cruise has anger management issues and is forced to change schools after delivering an atomic wedgie to a rival football player. Maybe it was a haymaker cross, my memory is failing with age. Anyways, then young Tom Cruise relocates to a new school from a WB teen drama that is run by young Tyler Durdin. Girls are thrown in as plot devices and eye candy but none appear as characters. At a party young Tyler Durdin decides to check young Tom's nuts and then serves him an ass-whooping, securing his place as the antagonist. Ashamed and suffering from possible shrinkage, young Mr. Cruise is befriended by the token fanboy who takes him to the only one who can help him: the only established thespian in the film. The accomplished actor shows Tom the dangerous and barbaric ways of scientology so he can take on people who are as crazy as himself.

It was something like that. Look I had to clown on what we all wanted to clown on, but in all honesty this film is done quite well. Yeah, it is obvious to everyone that this is just a new-school, 21st century remake of "The Karate Kid", but it is handled in a proficient manner and features a protagonist that was a little more self-reliant and fearless than say a piss-ant Daniel-san who got everything dropped into his lap and still repeatedly got played throughout the series. The story and writing were straightforward, and while being nothing exceptional they proved to be fairly high quality and able to keep the attention. The performances were all actually quite good, and the story is filled with excellent messages about trust, friendship, perseverance, honor, discipline, pride, growing up and self discovery. Cinematography-wise this movie is very fun to watch and included some interesting and effective choices of shots especially during the fight sequences.

What about the fight sequences you ask? Not bad. Yes the kickboxing was half-assed, but the depiction of Brazilian Jujitsu was damn good, and I especially liked the freeze-frame shots of some of those throws and takedowns. The fights are very realistic and perhaps lack the flamboyance and aeshetics of Asian choreographed films, but for the sake of the story told I think it stands on its own well enough. I should also mention that I found the antagonist character to be pretty fascinating. He was really like a young and more damaged and malicious Tyler Durdin. Though he brutalizes, taunts, bullies and menaces the hero character, there feels like there is this underlying sliver of himself that seems to subconsciencely want to actually help the hero to become stronger and more of a warrior. It's some deep shit. I'm not being facetious right here, I mean it, the story and performances made this movie worth watching. The flashiest move in the movie (that makes contact) is a nicely permormed tornado roundhouse kick by "Tyler" and it's really sweet and ill when it happens. Beyond that it's just round kicks, push kicks, and generic boxing, but there is somewhat of a variety and it is fused well so it does manage to entertain.

Overall I was very impressed and enjoyed the movie quite a bit though I will admit this movie is not for everyone. "Never Back Down" is for a very specific audience. It is basically for teenage boys (which I am not) and certain types of martial arts practicioners (which I am) and action/combat junkies as well as anyone who doesn't have too much pride to give a decent movie a fair chance. Even if it is filled with a bunch of rich, pretty, spoiled, young and damaged crackers. No scenario is perfect.

The movie is in English even though it seems many of the actors and actresses in this movie are not familiar with this language. I mean, damn, I couldn't understand half of what these motherfuckers were saying for most of the movie and my mom is Chinese with a very heavy accent and broken-ass English so that should tell you something right there. I have no problem understanding my mom's garbage speak, half-assed English but the lines in this movie were being delivered as if these fools were from Mars and this was their first encounter with English ever.

It helps, I guess, that I couldn't understand half of the lines delivered because the ones that I did get conveyed a movie with exceptionally bad writing. Despite the language barrier, it seems that the actors were just poor actors anyway, which doesn't really help the appeal of this movie.

What about the fu? Hmmm. Some of it is actually okay but choppy with editing of the same nature. It is abundantly obvious when the stunt doubles fight (which is most of the time) and this perhaps adds to the campy feel of this stinker. Overall the fights were just so-so and in some cases ridiculously lame.

There is a big twist in the end that is equal parts cliched and not bad but this comes off as sad attempt to justify this ludicrous crap-storm and validated it through a divisive means. And by the time the twist happens it is meaningless anyways because at no one point did you give a shit about any of the characters involved.

This movie is nothing more them a waste of time and money. Don't waste yours.

I was cheated. I was robbed. Just about any amount of money you paid to see this movie that exceeds four U.S. dollars is a vicious ripoff. Was the fight sequence with the ladder phenomenal? Absolutely. Was that pretty much the only thing worthwhile in this flick? Absolutely. This movie brings shame to the immensely entertaining "Police Story" series by skimping on the fu and fight scenes. Of course there is an underwater fight at the end--meaning slow and lacking the type of dynamic aesthetics we have come to expect from a Jackie film. "First Strike" basically is a meandering, through-the-motions, on auto-pilot Jackie film. Perhaps I was mildly entertained at random throughout, but for the most part I just can't justify giving a movie that I only appreciated for one fight scene more than one and a half stars. Sorry but this is only for strict Jackie completists. I love Jackie just like you folks. That's why this film doesn't do it for me. He's better than that.

Do me a favor: at the next wedding you attend slap a bridesmaid on the ass during the ceremony. If you are questioned on this just tell them you got the idea from a bastard. Enjoy your movies, kids.

This one doubles as not only my favorite Gordon Liu movie but also as my favorite Shaw Brothers movie. I know there are so many to choose from and you think that one is the best and dude over there is all like "what about the '36th Chamber'?" Well, chill, we're talking about my favorites now, not yours. We talk about your favorites in your review, sucka.

Lau Kar Leung crafts this movie and its fight scenes with inspired perfection. Gordon Liu dishes out the goods with the jack-of-all trades fu by demonstrating that old school multiple proficiency that pretty much died in the 90's when everyone could just have a single gimmick and still get by. This movie is not only arguably Gordon Liu's best martial arts performance but also Yasuaki Kurata's as well. You have to wait all the way to the end to see Yasuaki finally get down; but when he does, HOLY SHIT, he's a fuckin' smokin' now! (Maybe, just maybe, there is one "Family Guy" fan out there who got that reference. Probably not.)

Anyhow, this film has got one of the best complilations of variety in martial arts styles and weapons put to use. The Japanese performers and characters are all straight-up bad-asses, and really Japanese, unlike many other Chinese films that used Chinese actors and portrayed the Japanese as bitch-made predatory miscreants. I'm not judging, I'm just sayin'. Well, I guess to truly complete a review for this movie I got to give up my favorite fight. Damn, there are so many to choose from, but if I had to pick one favorite I would cheat and say the entire end fight with Gordon and Yasuaki, which is basically like 3-4 fights in one. I don't mean to beat a dying horse (unless it's called for or I'm bored or something), but Mr. Kurata is so frickin' slick it's unreal. The man handles a ninja-to like he was born holding one, and his crab style is one of the dopest, slickest and most creative things I have ever seen. This movie has everything for martial arts lovers including a tough chick.

I also got to say Buddha bless Dragon Dynasty for releasing these perfectly digitally remastered fu classics with the original subtitles and dubbings while including all kinds of sweet bonuses like interviews with the legends that made these movies possible. Make sure this is in your collection. Essential and severely enjoyable.

Despite all of this, it is done fairly well and there are moments you will appreciate; but altogether it is not really worth it for true Asian cinephiles--but it might be cool for your preteen nephew as a warm up before you show him those real old school classics that will blow him away.

Of course we all realize that a film needs to have a well developed plot and characters as well as a diligent director to be of any true value, but, let's face it, some well placed and relevant sex and violence can always add a little more fun. Sue me for keeping it real. If you are about your crime-caper movies you need to check this out. This is an excellent film and is keeping in the tradition of highly entertaining crime/noir/caper flicks coming from the Brits.

RECOMMENDED VIEWING: If you dig this flick check out "Lock Stock And 2 Smoking Barrels","Snatch" and of course the truly bad-ass "Layer Cake". Gangster, bitches.

So let me get this straight. We the viewers never get to see the actual reality of this mythology, we only get to view various layers of "The Matrix". The story in its entirety takes place in a computer program that runs through "Neo's" mind. This destroys all of the grandeur of the movie and its overall significance by the simple fact that none of anything we see really happens and we don't know if any of the characters we see actually exist or if they are part of the program. Basically the film's meaning and credibility are now shot, so let's look at the "story" that played out in some dude's head. In the future a war breaks out between the last city of humans (who live near the center of the earth) and the machines that took over earth. How is this epic war for humanity concluded? Do the humans take the fight to the machines' territory and sabotage some vital junk to turn the tide (a la "Star Wars")? No. Is some brilliant plan established to gain the upper hand and thereby prove the resourcefulness and imagination of the human mind? Again, no. Perhaps the last city of Zion unites and against extraordinary odds defeats the overwelming adversary presenting the triumph of the human will and spirit? Afraid not. Or could it be that Neo steps his bitch ass up to the front lines in all his super powered glory and lays the smackdown on the machine invaders? Not even fucking close. Basically this war and movie are "concluded" with a peace treaty with cold, calculating, unfeeling, immoral machines. Doesn't that make perfect sense? Unfortunately they left out the complete ending of the movie that takes place five minutes later when the machines decide to just lie and attack the city of Zion when their defenses are completely down, thereby killing every last human.

What a great trilogy. Not only did they get us from behind storywise, they also left out that nice concentration of fu throwdowns that the previous two incorporated. Sure there were fights. Like three. The previous one had nine or so. The big end fight of Neo vs. Agent Smith always leaves me kind of on the fence. I wanted a little more fu but I did really enjoy all of the special effects and mid-flight Superman-style battling. Always good to see stuff getting broken. The man vs. machines battle was really good too, and it is because of these two big action sequences, the special effects and Collin Chou as Seraph that I don't just brand this punk ass flick with 0 star rating. The end result is a compost heap of overhyped Hollywood bullshit. As a movie, but especially as the end of a trilogy, it is the most incomprehensive crap that I have ever seen or heard of. It could have been the defining science fiction trilogy of this younger generation. But no, the ending killed it all and morphed the overall essence of the project into the ugly truth: we just watched a bunch of Keanu Reeves' flicks. Damn.

"The Matrix: Reloaded" delivered the goods in full. More dimension was added to the story when we find out that none of the characters or the story actually take place outside of the Matrix. Though this fact does devalue the reality and gravity of the entire series, this was the second film of the trilogy so that makes room for a more conclusive denouement in the third and final film...

You know I have actually heard some people say that there was not enough action in it. Wow, do those fools have some short attention spans or what?!? The movie is about 2 hours and 18 minutes. Roughly 18 minutes accounts for the credits and trailer at the end of the film, meaning the movie itself is about 2 hours. Approximately 1 hour of the movie is kung fu fights, shoot-outs and car chases. So about half of the movie is all-out action, while the other half focused on the plot and the many characters involved. As an added bonus, this one included something the first film didn't have. Actual martial artists!!! Collin Chou as Seraph (my favorite Matrix character), Daniel Bernhardt as an agent and all of the Merovengien's monkey boys were the real deal. There was some excellent choreography from Yuen Wo Ping that totally trumped the previous film and showcased a good variety from unarmed to weapon-based combat (Keanu handled those sai pretty damn well). The CGI stuff didn't bother me one bit because Keanu is not like us. He has not dedicated his life to advancing his martial capabilities, agilty and strength, so even with intense short training he can't pull off the junk that we have been working on for years. That being the case it was actually cool to see some really amazing kung fu in the form of well done CGI animation, and I also think that it was done in a fluid enough manner that it didn't disrupt the flow of those sequences. Besides you folks had no problems when Spiderman did it, so you should be fine with that stuff going down in the Matrix. This movie was great entertainment and contained all of the hallmarks of an engrossing and thought-provoking sci-fi classic. The actors were on point and the curvature of the path of the story was nicely done.

There is only one problem here. One major problem. This movie was almost perfect, but I had to deduct a half star for the fact that this film suffers from middle kid syndrome due to its status as the second film in the trilogy. The kid that came after this one fucked it up for everybody and ruined what could have been one of the greatest sci-fi tales ever told.

IN SUMMATION: Yeah, this film has caught a lot of flak because many "critics" feel it solidifies their own credibility if they bash a trilogy film that does well in the box office. Just like when everyone bashed the new "Star Wars" films. But guess what: they weren't that damn bad either. People are just jaded and prejudiced. Please, folks, don't take a perspective because you are lead to believe that you should, because then you are in someone else's control. If fools can tell you what to believe, what does that make you? But screw the soapbox, this movie is great and only marred by the sorry ass pile of crap that followed it. Worth adding to the collection.

Now let us evaluate the film as a "Yojimbo" movie. "Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo" is the final chapter in the path of Yojimbo. In his first appearance in the original "Yojimbo" h