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THE ZEIRAM DUOLOGY [2-DISC SET]
 
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9/7/2008 7:00:03 PM
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JH15017's Profile:
Avg. Rating: 
 2.73 / 5

Agreement: 42% of 7 voters agree with JH15017's reviews


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JH15017's Ratings & Reviews (20 Max.):
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The Forbidden Kingdom (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Martial Arts

I was quite prepared for an absolutely dreadful movie. Jet has essentially apologized to his fans and expressed hope they would not hold this movie to the usual standards reserved for "real" martial arts films he has made in the past. Jackie has been alternately defensive and evasive. Knowing it was going to be wire-fu-o-rama with some surgical tubing on top--in addition to the modern boy/man gets thrown back in time and has a mission that can only be completed by him plot--I was not looking forward to seeing the mess unfold. And that is exactly the attitude you need to have going in: abandon all expectations ye who enter. When you see it from that perspective it's an okay piece of cartoonish fluff. And I suppose it could be argued that there is a place for such movies. It has been marketed as a film the whole family can enjoy. And of course the first time martial artist masters Jet Li and Jackie Chan fight each other marks a dream come true for many martial arts fans. In most respects "Forbidden Kingdom" is an okay movie, especially when viewed as a family movie and not serious martial arts fare.

However I do have some problems, not the least of which is that if you are going to do CG it better be damn good. Long gone are the days of promising great stuff and delivering arcade-grade computer graphics. In this aspect "Forbidden Kingdom" doled out the scenery as if it was costing them a fortune to do even a simple matte, not to mention things that moved. Doubles were everywhere, on wires and definitely overused.

We know Jackie and Jet can certainly work well with wires, so perhaps it was done to save time. Why string Jet up when you can have a stunt double do it without taking time from shooting the story? The other concern lies with the audio. Of course as usual unfortunately movie makers seem to think the audience will not realize they are watching an important fight scene or event unless the VOLUME IS REALLY REALLY LOUD!

Just because with hi-tech you can now blast sound without shattering speakers doesn't mean you necessarily should. The same decibels can also shatter eardrums!

"Forbidden Kingdom" Is a nice little movie, just don't expect DM2 ("Drunken Master 2") or FOL ("Fist Of Legend"). We live in a world where untold numbers of people could be obliterated in an instant. Perhaps what we need are a few more nice little movies.


 
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The Heroic Ones (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

This film could be titled “Extremely Dysfunctional Alcoholic All Male Mongol Monarchy With Delusions Of Grandeur And Insanely Intense Rivalry”. Actually, that description could be said about many of the warlords of the time. Some of my all time favorites are Shaw Brothers films. While some critics have maintained that those movies were not of substance and merely delivered grindhouse fare, the Shaw Brothers era delivered some of the best movies and actors/martial artists in the world.

"Heroic Ones" was made in 1969. It is virtually impossible to compare movies today to films of that era, in terms of production values, and all that goes with them. My primary interest was seeing one of my favorite actors in his early movie career. That actor is the wonderful Ti Lung. The story is set in ancient China near the end of the Tang Dynasty. Brute force ruled with no one knowing who they could trust. The Mongol King and his thirteen Generals is allied with other warlords against a huge army controlled by General Wang. Lord Zu When is ready to use any situation to his advantage. He challenges the thirteenth (Chiang) to fight with a huge powerful soldier. When Chiang wins he is furious and immediately begins plans for revenge.

Intent upon changing the odds in their favor the brothers/generals bravely journey at night to Wang’s enormous camp with many hundreds (or thousands?) of soldiers! You are given an idea of just how enormous that army is when the brothers go through camp after camp, guards upon guards.

It is truly mind boggling to think of directing so many people doing so many things. Lau Kar Leung is in the bunch as well, showing men how to look like they just disemboweled someone after hacking off an arm. The fight scenes are incredible for the long takes and intensity! They manage to do considerable damage and kill many men before being forced to retreat. The sole scene where there is no fighting/drinking/arguing is brief but touching. As the soldiers close in on the brothers a young lady (Lily Li) offers her simple home to them to hide from the approaching soldiers and in doing so saves their lives. Two of the despicable brothers attempt to rape the young woman but the thirteenth stops them. They all know the relationships cannot be repaired.

David Chiang has more time on screen than Ti Lung. He also is dressed in a very different way than anyone else, including Lung. Ti Lung (Better Tomorrow trilogy, City War and even Jackie Chan’s father in Drunken Master II. He is an excellent actor who can play any role and is very gracious and appreciative of his fans. Even though brief you do see the talent Lung has and though the two do not spend much time together in this movie they do form a “team” in several Cheng Cheh films. Even if you are familiar with the Shaw Brothers movies in general Heroic Ones can be a bit overwhelming at first. There are so many different people, dressed in similar ways it does get confusing. However, after watching for a bit, it does settle down with at least a few characters establishing themselves.

"The Heroic Ones" is a sweeping epic the likes of which most likely will never be made again. The vast number of people involved is staggering! Now the film would have cg soldiers, horses, camps, castles, etc.

Simply coordinating one stage of production involved so many people it deserves to be of note for that fact alone. The storyline of the feuding armies is only the premise for the much deeper story. Here you have thirteen members of the same family competing for the King’s respect, attention, favors, and ultimately power. The brothers range from righteous and intelligent to boorish drunks looking for an easy way into holding power and commanding everything and everyone around him. But there are more than a few who are willing to kill their own to do so! Internal strife is in it’s own way worse than the bloody battles. And what battles! Not much in the way of martial arts but a plethora of sword delivered slashes, hacking and amputations and decapitations. Weapons of every kind and bucket’s o’ blood! Plenty of mano y mano battles both short and long. The vicious blows are meted out to the opposing army but before long to the “13 Generals” themselves! I would like to have rated this film higher but a “3" was as far as I could allow. The plot was very weak and most of the brothers were two dimensional. It could have benefitted from some editing to make the story tighter and at a consistent pace. At times it seemed there would be nothing at all happening and suddenly for no apparent reason someone would charge off to fight. If you are a Shaw Brothers fan, especially of the early films you will love the movie. But even if you do not care for the fare this is a good movie to rent just to see what could be accomplished without cg and fx. This is an example of "Movie Magic"!


 
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A Century Of Light And Shadow: 1905-2005 (see film details)
TV Shows/Movies / Documentary

I was very pleased when I found this documentary about Chinese cinema. That type of information I find interesting and entertaining. While I admire the objective I’m not sure the goal was achieved.Over 200 people hosted 300 pieces of film! The high reaching numbers should have made me concerned about how much could reasonably be put on two discs. As it turns out that was not an issue.

While I certainly have no disagreement about the people chosen to highlight a segment, there was simply too much to be treated fairly and insightful. I am certainly no expert on China or the Chinese film. I found the first 30 years coverage very interesting and provided information in a highly palatable presentation. After that I really didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know. Think of it as the “lite” version of Chinese cinema.

Most people would probably enjoy this film and find it wonderful! And it would be if you are just getting started into foreign films or even martial arts movies.

Some people think martial arts are the only kind of foreign films ever made. One thing I really did enjoy was a brief interview with Lau Kar Leung. What a legend! And of course there is Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, the numerous people who were”Wong Fei - hung” on tv and then film. But before you could really appreciate the subject it was on to the next! You certainly can’t say it drags. I have to grudgingly rate this a three star because it will be entertaining for the majority of people who may watch Chinese films, but as for me it left me feeling unsatisfied.

I would love for them to go back to each segment and expand upon those for a couple of hours. There are countless hours of film that would be wonderful to experience! It is not a bad film. It simply is too much, too fast. It’s also a movie that you will probably want to watch several times to make certain you see and hear it all.

There is no way to adequately cover a century of light and shadow.


 
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Enter The Fat Dragon (see film details)
Martial Arts / Comedy

Bruce Lee died in his prime, both in popularity and fiscally. The scramble for a replacement was off and running! Lee had a very devoted audience that spanned cultures and was extremely intense. No single actor/martial artist could touch him, or so it seemed. No one was ever able to definitively isolate a single trait that made fans so loyal. At the time of his death he had already signed on many projects. Although many guys thought they had “IT”, no serious contenders arose. ENTER THE FAT DRAGON. What they did find was a very different *dragon* by the name of Sammo Hung.

Sammo knew Bruce rather well and they had even supposedly had a friendly spar or two. Perhaps that is why he was able to copy Bruce’s moves so well. He did better than any one ever seen fighting like Lee. Because of Lee’s death there were several movies pending and someone had to fill that gap - and quickly. Sammo is pure amazement! He is able to imitate Lee to perfection, even with nunchakas! It’s a good thing Sammo does such a fantastic performance because the plot is barely there - and that is being charitable! .

However if you can let go of predetermined expectations you might be able to watch the movie in it's entirety. It required a great deal of restraint to keep my finger off the "FF" button but I'm glad I did. Of course their never was a true “Bruce replacement” just as there will be no replacement for Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Tony Jaa, Robin Shou, Yuen Biao or even Sammo Hung. This movie is meant to be taken very lightly. You’ll enjoy it if you do not go in with specific expectations.


 
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Cat Vs. Rat (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

Lau Kar Leung made a departure from his often-made kung fu movies mixed with a good helping of humour and skips the fighting for more laughs. Unfortunately the humour just got old after awhile. For most of the film, the "Rat" (Alexander Fu Sheng) and "Cat" (Cheng Shao-Chiu) are long time rivals who have been taught Wushu by their Sifu (Lau Kar Leung). Each wants to be known as the best, but teacher tells them they are equals. They come up with plan after plan to learn more and thus be the "best", each more silly than the last. After a number of ways are tried to beat one another, the gag becomes monotonous. At one point Fu Sheng infuriates teacher and tricks him into teaching him more. He tries to remember and learn everything teacher does to him in order to best Cheng Shao-Chiu. But the "Cat" has a few ideas of his own. Fu Sheng's "mother" was quite entertaining, but I'm not sure if she is just a large lady or if she was wearing some padding. At times it seemed like it was not all her and I wouldn't put it past Lau Kar Leung. Gordon Liu shows up to add another element to the mix.This is not a great movie but it is certainly not terrible either. If you are looking for a nice light little comedy, look not further!

 
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Dirty Ho (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

I love movies in general and have a special fondness for martial arts films. Before the days of online shopping, I usually went many, many miles to a "Chinatown" in large cities or paid ridiculously expensive prices for horrible versions that were on VHS and weighed about 18 pounds. I was thrilled when I discovered the Shaw Brothers were being remastered! Not often does one find an awful film in their vaults, but Dirty Ho fits the description. This movie does not contain the finest martial arts fight ever and you won't mind a bit missing this one. The first 57 minutes have no action as we have come to know it.

Gordon Lui is the Eleventh Prince and the next in line for the throne. Unlike most of the other princes, he enjoys traveling about, spending time and money on wine, women and antiques--not necessarily in that order. The movie begins with the prince and "Dirty Ho" (Wong Yu) in separate entertainment rooms (no, not that kind of entertainment--get your minds out of the gutter!) at a floating brothel. These are rooms for eating and drinking and charming the ladies with jewels and money. The Prince is using a room that usually is occupied by the thief, Ho. He is rude, crude and would have to pay to be with women. This song and dance crap goes on far longer than necessary, but the Prince helps out Ho because he thinks he is a good man. Ho ends up fighting the Prince with the assistance of one of the prostitutes and is injured by a weapon that was covered with poison. When the local medical people cannot help him, he is forced to return to the prince for an antidote to the poison. Ho agrees to be the Prince's servant in exchange for the antidote.

Even though Hsiao Ho ("Mad Monkey Kung Fu", "Legendary Weapons Of China") is listed fourth in the cast, he is on the screen for approximately four minutes; and if you are not watching carefully, you'll miss the scene, and he is killed after saying a few words. No doubt the idea was to pull in more people by having him do a cameo. It didn't help, rather it only makes you wish you were watching one of his other movies.

"Dirty Ho" is very disappointing on several levels. The characters are two dimensional with no real appeal or development. There is nothing to make you care about anyone. Most movies where someone is pushed into being a servant develop until the servant loves and respects his master. That never really happens. There are a couple of fights where he helps defend the Prince, one with a group of assassins led by a--transvestite???, but even then it's a lackluster effort. When the Prince suffers a serious injury to his leg, he decides he needs to train Ho. Hell, even the training was boring! The end fight scene was uninspired and at times downright silly. The Prince has to help Ho fight but can only use one leg. This only makes the fight more unwatchable.

Save your money on this one and get "Legendary Weapons of China" instead. I promise you won't regret it!


 
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Mr. Nice Guy (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Martial Arts

This is just not one of Jackie's great movies despite the fact that Sammo Hung is the director and Richard Norton is the big bad guy. In a way this was not a fan movie but more of a test run to see if Jackie and Sammo could work in the way of the Americans and to some extent the Australians - including communicating in English. However the HK version is dubbed in Cantonese and/or Mandarin. The paper thin plot involves Jackie being a famous TV chef who accidentally gets involved in a violent dispute about some missing cocaine between a gang called the Demons and Richard Nortons' men, and a TV journalist who makes a tape of a fatal meeting. When one of the journalists runs away she accidentally involves Jackie and his TV show and Jackie helps her escape the bad guys.

But when you have someone running away in their undies you begin to have a bad feeling about the "action" involved. And to continue the "plot" the VHS tape (how old is this movie?) is tossed into a box of unmarked VHS tapes of Jackie's cooking show. Naturally the journalist gets the wrong tape or there is no story. And there isn't much of a story to begin with!

One problem, or should I say three problems only bogged down the movie and really added nothing but props for Jackie to save. This is why they scream "JACKIE SAVE ME! or "JACKIE HELP ME" and other lines of the same caliber. Over and over. We have the journalist ditz, the TV show assistant, and ditz number three is the wooden prop named Miki who is Jackie's girlfriend. He carries her, catches her and protects her with his masculine bravado but can't answer the question when asked if he loves her. Product placement is abundant. While the gang still thinks Jackie has the money or drugs or maybe both they kidnap Miki and force Jackie into fighting instead of baking. The fight scenes, almost always good in a Jackie film, fail to conjure up much excitement. Jackie wasn't in top form when he started the movie and a shoulder injury was obvious in every fight. For some reason there was a lot of cutting the fight scenes that had little to do with how it looked. Jackie also hurt his neck when he did a stunt in a "moving" wheelbarrow. Even the staff didn't realize he was really hurt, they just assumed he was goofing around. He wasn't. After that he doesn't make that 100% effort and that too showed. The end fight scene should have been with Norton but instead had Jackie saving the "help me" girls and then runs over everything including Norton's house with an enormous dump truck. Shades of Red Bronx (Rumble In The Bronx). Another similarity is the buildings, both designed to be shooting inside and shots from outside. Norton's house should have been palatial but looked like cardboard, which it probably was. Personally if I for some reason became demented and wanted to watch monster trucks I would go to the monster truck rally, not a Jackie Chan movie. This movie is definitely not a top favorite among fans and it has good reason to have that distinction.

Sammo is very amusing as a bicycle courier cameo and if you look quick in the construction fight scene you will find Brad Allen stuffed into the cement mixer. One more piece of trivia - Joyce Mina Godenza (Eastern Condors) real life wife of Sammo is one of the people in the cooking audience who gets eggs thrown at her.

If you really want to see this film definitely get the Hong Kong version unless you want to see a sliced and diced version with Jackie fumbling his lines.


 
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AGREE?READER COMMENTSAUTHOR
NI actually agree with many of your points--the plot is totally ridiculous. But after reading your review I re-watched the film to re-evaluate it after a long hiatus, and I still think the action sequences are high-octane, smile-inducing delights. Classic.Choco



The Inspector Wears Skirts (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Girls With Guns

Sibelle Hu and Cynthia Rothrock are helping guard an important politician and of course without them everyone would have died. Then Rothrock disappears and the movie dissolves into fifth grade pranks and stupidity as the trainees are supposed to be, well, training. Very nice barracks/accommodations though, but they are not there much. Just as you think the utter childish ridiculous behavior could get no worse there is a... excuse me...gag..scene that can only be explained by the director's loved ones being held captive unless this nauseating piece were put in the movie. Suddenly we have a song and dance that comes out of no where and the girls and the guys and anyone else they could round up join in on the fun and everyone is merry. Did I mention they were wearing rolling skates?

The last few minutes everything changes when the guys get captured the women come out of their timidity and start kicking ass and save the day. It was with great consternation I grudingly classified this as a three star. Rothrock actually looks competent and in good form. With Jackie footing the bill the sets were rather nice and there were a few different sets. Jackie also "donated" his stunt team to the betterment of the training and fight scenes. Although some might not agree. What really bogged down the film was the Sammo - esque "humour". Poor Sibelle must have been having awful flashbacks to the "StarS" movies, I know I was.

SURPRISE ENDING SPOILER********************** Okay if you don't want to know read no further

Well we all know how Jackie's guys are, uhm, well enthusiastic. Those stunt guys are amazing and they do like to blow shit up. I sincerely hope no one was injured in the "run from the fire" training scene but in the out takes that is one serious conflagration! People are being doused with water and other things and seen rolling on the ground to the far viewer's left. I think the news would have spread if anyone was seriously hurt.


 
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Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

This is one of those films that people tend to adore or detest. It seems to be about 50 - 50. After Jackie started to gain fame Lo Wei grudgingly allowed him to have most of the control of the movie. I refer to it as "Half A Load Of Kung Fu". Jackie had grown weary of shooting essentially the same movie over and over while Hong Kong desperately searched for a "replacement of" Bruce Lee. Problem was Jackie didn't want to be Lee and he was tired of the Lo Wei type of movies. From the very beginning of the movie you know this is not your standard Kung Fu flick. In the "old days" the opening of films showed off the lead actor's abilities. Jackie used that time to mock virtually everything standard at the time. He even pretends to be a Shaolin (Abbot?) pretending to haul water and chop wood. I did have a couple of good laughs but most of the movie featured such tasteless fare I had to restrain myself from using the "FF" button. Proof that people in the US and Asia have a lot more in common than one might think both seem to have a population that feels passing gas and urination are hysterically amusing. That population does not include me. The funny moments involved using a book to learn Kung Fu - as he was fighting! There is a plot of sorts including mistaken identity, escorting a group that has magic beans...oh wait wrong story, they have magic pills that will cure any illness, Dean Shek who I believe was required by law to be an inept fool in every movie ever made about Kung Fu was of course there and passing the gas. (Think he really made any money out of his *career*?) There was something I can not explain that seems like bitterness with Jackie. It is nothing he says or does and I have talked with others who felt the same. Perhaps for Jackie it was a major catharsis. I had difficulty with the star rating. Reluctantly I chose 2.

 
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AGREE?READER COMMENTSAUTHOR
YToo generous. Instead of reluctantly giving it two stars you should have willingly given it zero stars. What a horrible movie.MS10197



Dragon Lord [Joy Sales] (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Comedy

This movie was somewhat of a disappointment after Young Master. Jackie seems distracted and not terribly interested in making the movie. I enjoy watching some sports and was very intrigued by the "tower", which looked more than a bit painful for those pushed from the top. Another "sport" took up a lot of time and has been called "Jackie's football". It's a wild mix of soccer/hackey-sack/shuttle cock/football and a few other styles. It's a lot of fun to watch because of the very different type of sport and the guys get to show off their athletic prowess. If you hate sports you will probably not enjoy this movie. The plot is wafer thin and uneven.

Dragon (Jackie) and Mars, long time friend and stuntman, are buddies who like the same girl. However they both push love aside to save some of China's precious treasures the bad guys are sending out of the country. Dragon is innocently trying to retrieve a kite he sent with a love note attached. As he is on the roof getting his kite he overhears the villains making their plans to ship the valuable items out of country for sale. Dragon and Mars can't allow their country's valuables be sold! That leads them in the end having to deal with the gang leader, none other than Whang In-sik, the Korean Hapkido master. Whang In-sik, who also had an end fight with Jackie in Young Master, battles with Dragon and some with Mars in this movie. The production values are nearly nonexistent, but though the fights on the surface are not as intense as Young Master they are still very good. Not many props just hard hitting from Whang In - sik and Jackie's manic determination to beat the gang leader and save the royal treasures.

There are two unique things about Dragon Lord. One particular scene is listed in the Guinness Book Of World Records for the most takes - allegedly nearly 3000!! Also this is the first movie Jackie had real outtakes. Jackie proves once again that movies don't have to cost millions of dollars to be entertaining. You have to let go of the "Hollywood" expectations and enjoy it for the movie it is.

(I always thought this movie was what inspired Drunken Master 2!)


 
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Island Of Fire (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

Depending on one’s view, the actors in this movie were either asked politely or not so politely by Jimmy Wang Yu to be of assistance. Jackie Chan in particular wanted the movie to disappear from the stores, and Sammo was not far behind. This is a prison movie, so you would naturally expect prison time, fighting, brawls, etc. You might also think with Sammo, Jackie, and Lau there should be something going on, but the only reason to watch this crap is to make yourself angry and/or depressed. I have often thought Wang Yu was so determined to be a “movie star” he often used other resources to force his way into films. He had a great potential cast to work with here but he still had no clue how to use them, nor has he learned to act. There is nothing original to be seen, only “stolen” scenes--primarily a little of "A Better Tomorrow", "Butch Cassidy And The Sundance Kid", most every Eastwood film... Most of all he was trying to cash in on Ringo Lam's "Prison On Fire".

I refuse to spend any more time on this horrible waste of a perfectly good CD case!

I have to admit there was one small kinda cool thing. If you don’t know where your opponent is, you can put your mirrored shades on the ground to see their position.


 
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Rob-B-Hood (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Comedy

Crawling across the floor, I execute a quick side roll and close the curtains. Then low crawling to the desk and turn on the computer on low light to hopefully evade detection. In the past I was never forced to take such covert precautions, but now things are different, for you see I have admitted to the public that I just don’t care about this movie! AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaggggghhhhhhhh...........ducking a barrage of old audio cassettes and beta tapes thrown by rabid CHAN FANS!!

Jackie Chan is a master of many arts and has my utmost respect. It is not unusual for me to watch one of his movies twice, maybe more. This film had me trying to find a way to get out of the first viewing! If this film is an example of his so called Hong Kong movies then he should go back to the US.

There were a half dozen rumours flying around the net about the plot. One rumour was that the “Three Dragons” Jackie, Biao and Sammo would return as three mischievous thieves, in an updated “Dragons Forever.” I keep telling people it ain’t gonna happen. And then the rumour regarding this being a very dark film. Jackie - baby - dark - no way.

Jackie (Slipper), Louis Koo (Octopus) and Michael Hui (Landlord) are all high stakes thieves. Slipper and Octopus are in the midst of stealing medication from a hospital (that’s a hospital?). As they are making their way out chaos begins! The son of a Triad boss thinks he has a newborn son. In reality it is an old girlfriend and her husband. In his mind it is his son and he is trying to kidnap the woman and baby. Unfortunately the Triad’s son is killed in an accident and his father vows to get his grand child because he too, is deluded and wants the baby.

The three thieves have alternative lives. Landlord is self explanatory, and his wife, Land Lady who needs major mental health care. Octopus, who is married but ignores his wife and looks for women who have a lot of money. Slipper pretends to be a business man but his father and the rest of the family know he is a thief and gambler. No matter what Slipper does he cannot please his father. Considering Jackie's age you would hope such displays of being a good loving son would be purged by now. However this movie is so formula you could give it to the baby! When Landlord is robbed of all his money the guys agree to take on a job to replace the money, but he doesn’t really tell them exactly what the job is at hand. Suffice to say it involves Slipper, Octopus and the baby. Yes two hours of watching two guys and a baby. Every baby joke ever used is used again. And again. And again. And again. One thing that would have definitely improved the movie was Yuen Biao whose on screen time was barely more than a cameo. Biao is a master in martial arts, action choreography and humour. And yet for some reason Jackie relegated him to a very short role.

There is no requirement for Jackie to do stunts and serious fighting, but if he is going to continue them he needs to be able to do them with finesse. One requires him to jump from one floor to the next by jumping on the air conditioners which are set staggered and not much of a stunt especially with a wire. Unfortunately it looked like a child could do it. Another “stunt” he slides down a long stairway banister. Not a lot of skill is required. I certainly don’t want Jackie to be injured or take stupid risks. I think he still has difficulty believing audiences will accept him as an actor without a few stunts along the way. He would he wrong on that count

One major complaint - the bad “gay” joke. Absolutely uncalled for and completely tasteless. Jackie should be ashamed to have something like that in “his” movie!

Everything is going along with the endless baby jokes when suddenly the movie whiplashes into a dark and ugly mode. Two hours of hackneyed jokes and it’s like running into a cement wall at high speed with no warning!

When the baby is turned over to his grandfather’s staff the gang has accomplished their task. But none of them feel good about what they have done. The sudden immersion into a macabre affair is not something you would usually see in a “Jackie” film but then it is not a “Jackie” movie and that’s the problem. Rob B Hood is part action, part drama, part comedy, part sap and as many “awwwww” moments as you can tolerate without requiring insulin. Jackie had virtual control over the film however he seems to have experienced difficulty in determining what kind of movie he wanted to make. It just didn’t work. As for the ending all I can say is Jackie hasn’t done this before and let us hope he will not do so again.


 
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AGREE?READER COMMENTSAUTHOR
NI'm a huge Chan fan with a large Chan library and this is a favorite of mine, my family, and my friends. Definitely not a typical Chan movie but that just makes it more accessible for casual watchers. Lots of unexpected, very funny surprises!! AB13687



The Bare Footed Kid (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

After his father dies, a poor young man sets out to find an old friend of his father's and hopes of a better life. He manages to find the man (Ti Lung) who is foreman at a dye factory and gives him a bed and a job. There are those in the village who do not want the factory to succeed and will stop at nothing to obtain the secrets that have made the business so profitable. Several attempts are made to buy the factory, but the owner (Maggie Cheung) isn’t interested despite hints of threats.

When something does go wrong the Kid administers his own kind of retribution which unfortunately doesn’t work out so well. Soon he is caught up in multiple schemes and must decide what is really important to him.

There is really only one thing wrong with "The Bare Footed Kid": the Bare Footed Kid, as played by Aaron Kwok. The only reason I rated "The Bare Footed Ki"d four stars was because of the fine efforts delivered by Ti Lung ("A Better Tomorrow" series, "Drunken Master 2") and Maggie Cheung ("Hero", with Jet Li, "The Iceman Cometh"), both veteran actors in a range of films including period pieces. They deliver excellent performances. However they needed a “kid fighter” and there was no one to be found, apparently, besides Aaron Kwok. Enter Liu Chia Liang who some how managed to create the illusion that Kwok could fight, and fight well. Not an easy task! It was surprising and a bit disappointing to see the use of so much wire-fu, but apparently that was the only way Liu Chia Liang could make it appear Kwok had a clue about martial arts, and was in good enough shape to carry it out. Fortunately it was enough to pass off Kwok without changing the plot.

I also didn’t like the serious use of wires with a fight with Ti Lung. Granted he wanted to show the Kid a whole lotta fighting skills in a very short period of time but it was just too much. Ti Lung was only around 46 when he was in this movie--plenty young enough to do almost all of his fighting without the wires.

But the ending is worth waiting for, courtesy of Liu Chia Liang! His reputation for amazing fight choreography and long fight sequences does not disappoint! Two nearly back-to-back fights is typical as is his use of unusual but deadly weapons. Without giving away the ending, I was disappointed in one aspect of the Kid’s choices. Viewers will just have to watch the movie to understand my reference.


 
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Shaolin Wooden Men (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

There are really two versions of this film that are identical except for the very beginning. One shows Jackie sparring with his masters, but it is only a dream. Everything else is exactly the same.

This film always contains something in the description about Jackie being a favorite amongst the Shaolin Monks. He is certainly not a favorite and is nearly kicked out more than once, at least in the beginning.

The movie opens with the students in the midst of "training", and we discover he is a mute. Shaolin training requires such things as hauling water and chopping wood. This is to build up the body, but Jackie is impatient and frustrated he has not learned any real kung fu yet. He meets a Buddhist nun who implores him to continue to practice, and he increases his efforts. One night he happens to discover there is a strange man living underground as a prisoner. His curiosity gets the better of him and he meets this mysterious person. The prisoner agrees to teach the mute boy real kung fu in exchange for some favors and Jackie quickly agrees.

Training with the man and nun he learns the best martial arts and the ethics that go with it. When he feels his skills are good enough he challenges the final hurdle of his training: defeating the Wooden Men.

(There has been a great deal of confusion in regard to the final challenges of wooden men, bronze monks, etc. The statues were only the representation of the actual human monks and the skills they would use against a challenger.) To enjoy this movie, cast aside expectations of a kick-ass Jackie Chan movie and enjoy it for what it is: a 1976 martial arts flick with a very young (pre-cosmetic surgery) Chan doing what he had always wanted to do! Jackie shows he can do anything physical! Some of the acrobatic/martial arts are truly amazing, especially when there are no wires, no FX, only talent that can't be denied. There is an absolutely gorgeous view of a waterfall as Jackie does forms. This was a relatively dangerous scene but it was worth it!

The fight scene in the inn is atrocious. Chan looks like he is going to burst into laughter any second. Sammo Hung plays the innkeeper's son, and if you look closely you will see Yuen Biao as one of the villains in the Green Dragon clan. The fighting is all terrible, with the exception of the final fight when we discover who the mute monk really is and his purpose for training so hard and so long. The final fight allows Jackie to show his stuff, and though it may be terrible in production value it's obvious this kid is going somewhere! Seriously, you don't want to miss this one.


 
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AGREE?READER COMMENTSAUTHOR
NI'm not sure what movie you whatched but the fighting was definitely not "terrible". It was filmed in the style of 70's kung fu films and marks the birth of Jackie Chan's stardom. Oh and by the way the fat guy is Sham Chin Bo and definitely NOT Sammo HungRA31558



The Young Master (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

Dragon (Jackie Chan) and his older brother Tiger (Wei Pei) are orphans who were taken in by the Master of a highly regarded martial arts school when they were very young and barely existing on the street. Over the years Master comes to feel like their father and trains them in Kung Fu along with all of his other students. Every year there is a Lion Dance contest between rival martial arts schools and Master has been training Tiger to be the lead in the contest. But Tiger is injured just before the contest is to take place and so Dragon is chosen to lead instead. The Lion Dance is not only about winning the prize money, it also commands great honor and respect among the locals.

This film may be the absolute best (barring films of parades and demonstrations) at showing the beautiful Lion Dance and how power and grace combine to make a fantastic visual feast! The intricate movements are nothing short of stunning! There are no wires here, no trick photography. You will be entranced by this tradition that is centuries old and will want to watch it more than once!

When the Master discovers Tiger betrayed him he is very hurt. Tiger leaves the school and goes in search of work. He ends up with a gang, not knowing their plan is illegal and involves releasing their criminal leader Master Kim, (Whong In - Sik). Meanwhile the Master shows his kind heart and tells Dragon to leave the school - but to return with Tiger.

Almost immediately Dragon finds trouble when he is mistaken for his brother. Chaos and comedy ensue!One of Chan’s most notable fight sequences is in this movie. Dragon goes looking for Tiger and manages to get into a fight with an instructor for the corrupt martial arts school. This is no ordinary fight - but a fight utilizing a large white fan. Yes I said fan. Chan did numerous takes, some have said over thirty takes and some say even more, and that is certainly possible. Chan was adamant about showing the art of fighting with a fan and he gives it his all!

During the journey Dragon is mistakenly arrested by the Sheriff (Shek Kin) and his son (Yuen Biao). There are numerous well choreographed fight scenes which lead up to the wildly manic ending with Dragon fighting the gang leader played by real life Master of Hapkido, Whong In - sik. This is one of the longest fights Chan ever filmed. It’s difficult to describe the intensity, the sheer craziness of it. Chan has stated that in the early years of his career it was necessary to find real fighters to spar with because it was next to impossible to make actors look like martial arts experts believable as opponents. While fans love the more realistic fight scenes it also means Chan gets the daylight beat out of him and he suffered several serious injuries, mostly from the final fight with Whong In - Sik. Viewers are treated to see Hapkido for real. Along with kicks and punches, trappings and joint locks are also employed. The scene is a treat for both those who practice martial arts and those who enjoy watching them! Young Master has held up over the years and is considered a classic!

This film is notable for several reasons. It broke all box office records for time in theatre and money earned and it also gave Jackie the opportunity to show off his legs for a change. It’s the only film where Chan spends any amount of time wearing shorts. He has never specifically mentioned that piece of trivia but I have never heard a complaint from any of his female fans, especially by the time he is taking a shower. Young Master was also the pre - cursor for his now famous out takes of things that didn’t go quite like they were supposed to, as well as showing everyone that it was indeed Jackie himself doing those crazy stunts and incredible fighting. Young Master doesn’t show out takes but rather random images from the movie. Viewers and fans had to wait until Dragon Lord was released which is the first time Chan uses out takes his fans have come to expect. Young Master is as amazing today as when it was first nearly three decades ago!


 
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Mad Monkey Kung Fu (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

This is a must for anyone who loves the open hand martial arts! The special effects are the actors/martial artists! I can't say enough about this old school wonderful Shaw Brothers film, and I have never really cared for the "Monkey Style". I have seen other artists do the same form but it just seemed rather silly. I have newfound respect and admiration for the style/form and the artists in this film.

A famous martial artist is framed for raping his host's wife at a dinner occassion where the wine has been flowing liberally. Honor calls for the death sentence but the martial artist's sister agrees to be a concubine to the gang leader and the punishment is changed to smashing his hands so he no longer can do Kung Fu.

Thus he is forced into becoming something of a street performer with his beloved little monkey. The gang leader is furious and tells his men to kill the monkey, which they do. So chattered physically and emotionally he sees no way to make a living, no point in continuing.

He soon meets a petty street thief who wants to work as his monkey, providing enough for their meager existence. It is evident the new "monkey" needs much training and is taken by his new Master into the country where they can work undisturbed.

The standard - someone/thing is destroyed, killed/humiliated/lost face etc. and now must go off and train is nothing new. What is *new* is that you have never seen the kind of training done in this simple tale! These two are not Sifu and Student, they ARE monkeys!The training and practice of the Monkey Form will simply amaze you! The raw energy, the sheer strength and mind boggling positions will keep you glued to the screen! This is the best, bar none, movie devoted to the Monkey Form!!!

Buy it, don't bother with a rental you will want to watch this one again and again and again!


 
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Snake In The Eagle's Shadow (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

If Lo Wei had not loaned Jackie to Seasonal Films it's possible he would not be an international celebrity today. Everyone was still looking for someone to fill in for Bruce Lee, and Jackie's first few movies, mostly under the hand of Lo Wei, were less than well received. That was in 1978.

NG See Yuen saw potential in Jackie and decided to use Jackie as the lead.

It worked. Something about the movie - Jackie's innocence and lack of any fighting skills definitely caused people to pay attention. This was not just a revenge - train - resolution movie. There was an actual degree of a plot. After Jackie (Chiun Fu) intervenes when the old man is being attacked they become friends and the old Master agrees to teach him some kung fu, more specificaly Snake Fist Style.

Jackie is a quick learner and soon he has accomplished Snake Fist Style. But after losing a fight he knows he must develop other skills. He watches an encounter between a snake and his cat. The cat in self defense uses his claws to ward off the snake. This gives him an idea of what else he needs to know and he develops the "Cat Style".

(And now for the *Cat* controversy. If you are not prepared, or a serious vegan you might not want to think about the cat(s) in this movie. There are at least three different cats used. Hopefully they just picked up some feral cat when they needed one but chances are the cats didn't have a long life. The viewer must remember this movie is nearly thirty years old. Cat and even dog is served in areas of Mainland China and other parts of Asia even now. There are no giant cattle ranches because of the enormous cost of feeding and raising them.)

(There is a fighting scene that was edited out of every format. The scene was removed from the theatrical as well. Jackie goes off to find the old man and warn him he will be attacked. Before he can get there he is ambushed by a fighter who had been pretending to be a minister. The fighter rushes out of hiding and slashes Jackie with his sword. Except the sword was the wrong one and no one had dulled the cutting edge. Hospital! Jackie said the fans would see him bleed for real but it was better to cut the scene.)

And then there was the issue of obviously losing teeth. Jackie was really beat up in this movie but later said it was worth it because it definitely jump started his career.

One more piece of trivia. One of the villians, played by Hwang Jang Lee, was constantly warned about full contact. Even some of the seasoned stuntmen grew tired of it. Apparently he wanted to show everyone why he was a champion. It did not help his movie career.

Snake In The Eagle's Shadow can still be enjoyed today. The friendship between Chiun Fu and the old Master seems very real. They are friends but they are also Master - teacher, and loyal student who can't let his Master be injured or killed. The training is rather good and adds a couple of not often seen exercises. Even if you are not a hard core fan of martial arts you should see this movie.


 
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The Bodyguard [2004] (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Comedy

This film stars Petchtai Wongkamlao, most recently seen in "Ong-Bak" and "Tom Yum Goong." Here he also makes his directorial debut. Apparently he has caught the *action* bug and you can definitely see that in this movie the action is almost as important as the humour! While this version does have English subtitles western audiences may miss some of the humour, due to language and cultural differences. The ads mention "Thai Humour" and Tony Jaa. If you are buying this to see Tony you will be disappointed as he only has a cameo performance.

But this film is a hoot! In his bodyguard duties Petchtai is assigned to protect one of the richest men in the country. Of course nothing goes as it should and he ends up failing his mission. In a scene where he incorporates his charge into his own defense is quite amusing. Always the comedian he manages to fight people using different styles while his style is unique.

The son of the billionaire has gone missing and it's up to the Bodyguard to find him and keep him safe while the bad guys want him for the millions of dollars they can extort. Not a great movie but it is entertaining.


 
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My Lucky Stars [Dutch Special Edition] (see film details)
Action/Adventure / Comedy

When Sammo was running late and over budget on this film Jackie and Biao agreed to help. Unfortunutly Biao is seen only in the very beginning and the very end.

The movie begins in Japan with Jackie and Biao following a known crook. They end up in a amusement park, have a brief fight with the bad guys and Biao is kidnapped. Jackie realises he needs help and has Sammo released to help him. Crooks are better at fighting and capturing other crooks? So Sammo and his gang of bungling buddies are released to a female cop, Sibelle Hu. Sibelle Hu must have been desperate to sign on this insulting role. Sammo and his buddies are constantly trying to think of ways to get laid, or at least cop a feel. This goes on and on seemingly forever. The very few Japanese words that are used are insulting translated incorrectly. If not for that and the group gropes I would have given this movie a higher rating.


 
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Dragon Fist (see film details)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure

This is not your standard kung fu revenge movie. The movie begins with a celebration of a tournament. Yuan's (Jackie Chan) Master has won after fighting numerous contestants. A man shows up and insists he should have a chance to fight even though the winner has been determined. The Master finally agrees even though exhausted and the match turns ugly. The Master surrenders, several times but the challenger continues to pummel him relentlessly. Yuan attempts to break up the fight but is hit too. Finally the crowd manages to seperate them. The Master is severely injured but before he dies he tells Yuan to take care of his wife and daughter.

Nearly two years later they make the long journey to seek revenge. When the widow sees the killer has cut off one of his legs as penance she refuses to let Yuan take revenge.

They plan to go back home immediately but the widow falls ill. The doctor tells Yuan nothing can be done with his medicines but the Wei family has a secret potion that just might help. Yuan goes to the Wei family not knowing there is a feud between them and the man he came to kill. The Wei clan are tyrants and mobsters. They control nearly everything and need men who can enforce their criminal deeds. But Yuan doesn't know that when he agrees to work for Wei in exchange for medicine for the widow. It seems as though every time they attempt to return home she becomes more seriously ill. When she discovers Yuan is working for Wei in order to get her medicine she can't allow it.

There are several plot twists that would not usually be expected in a movie of this genre. To be sure there are enough hard core fights to keep viewers satisfied but will keep fans guessing about who the villains really are, or are they?


 
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QUIK LINKS:
Use the following links to jump straight to a review.

  • The Forbidden Kingdom
     
  • The Heroic Ones
     
  • A Century Of Light And Shadow: 1905-2005
     
  • Enter The Fat Dragon
     
  • Cat Vs. Rat
     
  • Dirty Ho
     
  • Mr. Nice Guy
     
  • The Inspector Wears Skirts
     
  • Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu
     
  • Dragon Lord
     
  • Island Of Fire
     
  • Rob-B-Hood
     
  • The Bare Footed Kid
     
  • Shaolin Wooden Men
     
  • The Young Master
     
  • Mad Monkey Kung Fu
     
  • Snake In The Eagle's Shadow
     
  • The Bodyguard
     
  • My Lucky Stars
     
  • Dragon Fist
     
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