Wei shemme?

Why?

Do people in Denmark speak English? I swear I saw "telefon" on a pay phone in the movie. This could be a mistake on the filmmakers part. When I saw 'The Blacksheep Affair', I knew something was wrong when every Russian in that film spoke in English. Talk about un-PC! Not only should Li Ching receive a spanking for her involvement in this film, but director Lu Chi is a filmmaking hack that could use a slapping against the back of his noggin'! The wobbly camera work made me dizzy, the bizarre editing was odd and disconcerting, and the extreme close-ups of people kissing each other (with tongue) made me want to puke! Oh, yeah, Birte Tove and other Danish women are constantly nude in the film. Li Ching and Karen Yip stay clothed as they are considered legitimate actresses. This film was eighty-eight minutes of torture. It was like that John Wayne movie, 'The Conqueror': The cast and crew of that flop suffered so much and they got little good out the film. Filming 'The Conqueror' at an old atomic bomb testing site didn't help much, either. I watched this film just to check out Li Ching; she was squandered in this "jade vase" role. This is definitely a cinematic skeleton in her proverbial closet. I may have to watch 'West Chamber' dozens of times before I can remove the "aftertaste" of this film! I only recommend this film to those who want a masochistic experience or if one is a die-hard Li Ching fan. Li Ching did appear in 'Clans of Intrigue' years later and that Chu Yuan film is worth more of one's time than this piece of...you get the point. Aside from some decent acting, Li Ching, and a few effective gags, there's not much use recommending this film.

Li Ching, wei shemme?
Li Ching, why?

Ho Tai (Chen Kwan Tai). Agnes Chan portrays Po-er, a teenage girl who wants to join the musician clique (she even endures some kind of hazing ritual) and she sings some songs in English. Irene Chen Yi Ling, playing a hollow, insincere lady instead of a nice girl, for a change, portrays Princess, a groupie who hovers like a humming bird next to the current athletic champion and she shamelessly leaves the loser in the dust. Wu Ma appears as Gou, a whipping boy who even gets hit back by a punching bag! A young Bolo Yeung/Yang Tze co-stars as one of Lam Tat's "peeps".

The pacing of 'Young People' really drags at times and the dated look reeks of the early 1970's. 7-Up and Schweppes must've paid handsomely for product-placement. A reporter in the film speaks some Cantonese during a telecast, but the dominant dialect is Mandarin (the Celestial/Shaw DVD does contain a Cantonese track). Also, Lo (????) hits on Po-er (Agnes Chan Mei Ling, one of the youngest cast members in the film) in a number of scenes; aren't there statutory rape laws in Hong Kong? Tang Chia and Liu Chia Yung stage some fight scenes, but they're somewhat ruined by poor editing. The filmstock will get laughably sped up and someone will hit the ground in a fraction of a second or someone will throw dozens of kicks in the time it takes to sneeze! Still, the Shaw thespians that Chang Cheh had at his disposal put some effort in their acting. 'Young People' is not one of Chang Cheh's best, but his fans and casual viewers may want to take a look at it.

'Mitchell' may be a piece of dung, but it has some cool music. I love the 70's "wakacha-wakacha" theme music. I wonder if 'Mitchell' was originally designed as a blaxploitation film? It kind of feels like it. Benjamin Melniker was an executive producer on this film as well as most of the 'Batman' movies in the late 80's and the 1990's. The MST3K version of 'Mitchell' is even more fun to watch than the uncut, R-rated version, in my opinion. There's one of Gallano's lackeys who looks like Andy Kaufman ("You're soooooo stupid!"). I've heard that Joe Don Baker saw the MST3K version of 'Mitchell' and he was furious! He claimed that if he met any of the brains (of Best Brains Inc.), he would kick their %@#es! The MST3K gang do poke a lot of fun at Joe Don as opposed to the film. The MST3K gang poke even more fun at Joe Don when they pan 'Final Justice' (1984) (Crow comments, and I quote, "The sun gets blotted out as Joe Don Baker approaches,").

'Mitchell' is a dull movie and it reeks of flat beer, stale potato chips, and burnt, polyester rugs, but it's managed to become one of personal favorite films. Joe Don did appear in three 007 films; in 'The Living Daylights', he was a militaristic arms dealer. In 'Goldeneye' and 'Tomorrow Never Dies', he appears as Felix Leiter's CIA agent successor, Jack Wade. A burly guy like Joe Don Baker gives a burly guy like me a gleamer of hope. Wait a minute! What am I saying? If one checks out 'Mitchell', one will need to muster up some willpower. Enjoy!

Anyway, in "Blind Fist of Bruce", Bruce Li portrays a young man named Yeh who is a member of a well-to-do family that owns a bank. When a gang of extortionists, known as the Hu Wei Bandits, arrive in his hometown, they use their wu xia (martial arts) skills to terrorize the locals financially ("taxes" and "protection money") as well collaborating with the corrupt city officials. The Hu Wei Bandits strip Master Yeh and his family of their capital, acquisitions, property, and even their bank. Luckily, Master Yeh meets a blind martial artist (portrayed by Simon Yuen Siu-tin, probably in one of his last roles) who trains him in kung fu.

With his newly acquired skills, Yeh and his blind sifu go after the Hu Wei bandits. There's a plot twist as well as an abrupt ending which I'll leave as a surprise to anyone who chooses to view this decent, watchable kung fu film.

The fight scenes are pretty exhilarating with a couple of exceptions. For example, the opening fight scene is slow and somewhat sloppy. Also, I don't feel that "happy" music is appropriate for an attempted rape scene. Due to the budget of this independent film, the music used in this film is obviously canned like in so many kung fu movies. Thankfully, an eerie music cue from 'Superman' following the "happy" one saves the day and so does Simon Yuen in the attempted rape scene. There's also a memorable supporting role where Meg Lam Kin-ming portrays Miss Hong, a woman employed in a whorehouse, but as its book-keeper, not a prostitute. Although, she does offer sex to any man on the condition that he can outdo her escort's kung fu. This is what probably leads to her downfall (note: This is not a sexist comment. This comment will make more sense if one chooses to watch this film).

"BFOB" is a decent, watchable, and better-than-average kung fu film. It' s no classic or perhaps it could be deemed an underrated classic.

Some female nudity and occasionally ribald humor make 'The Human Goddess' a questionable choice for young viewers and fundamentalists, but Li Ching fanboys and viewers who aren't too critical may enjoy this hunk of junk food cinema. 'The Human Goddess' is like an epic-scale episode of 'Bewitched' or 'I Dream of Jeannie', except that Seventh Sister is angel as opposed to a witch or a genie and the content is worthy of a PG-13 rating, at the least. Li Ching even dances and sings around Hong Kong in a variety of clothing a la Mary Tyler Moore; Li Ching also lip-synchs to pre-recorded music sung by good-ol' Jing Ting. At times, 'The Human Goddess' is in danger of going into overkill and spinning out of control like a broken ferris wheel! There's a Middle Eastern magician stereotype in a nightclub and a caucasian gweilo napping in a car, but, on the contrary, there are other HK films that do a more heinous job of dehumanizing non-Chinese. Li Ching, being the "legitimate actress" she is, doesn't appear nude, but there's a sensual bit where she walks around with only Chin Feng's red pajama top to keep her clothed (a la Sylvia Trench in 'Dr. No'). Director Ho Meng Hua ('The Flying Guillotine') adds a sick sense of humor to the film's light-hearted tone and he usually manages to hold it all together. This film does have its detractors: they claim that 'Goddess' suffers from a dated look, stale gags, tuneless songs, etc. I suppose that's true, but the fun, spirit, and Li Ching's exuberant performance made 'The Human Goddess' a guilty, yet enjoyable pleasure.

Sung Tsun Shou does a capable job as director of 'Thirteen'. Even though it's packed with cliches, the drama is very gripping at times and the solid performances work in favor of the film.

Irene Chen Yi Ling is one of my favorite Shaw studio actresses; she wasn't just a starlet, I am convinced that she was a real actress, as well. Too bad she retired before she could've matured even more as one. When Jin Bai (Irene) finds out that Jr Bai messed with her make-up kit and her clothes, she hits Jr Bai with a purse! I was actually cringing! In 'Thirteen' and 'Young People', Irene feels so cold, impersonal, and unlikale. In 'Guess Who Killed My Twelve Lovers' and 'We Love Millionaires', she feels much warmer and charismatic. Even back then, Tien Niu was a solid actress. There's a scene where Yung Wang Yu's character "co-erces" (i.e. rapes) Jr Bai into love-making and he gets her pregnant. This scene and the scene where Jr Bai plans on getting an abortion may strike some sensitive chords with some viewers. Don't say I didn't warn you. There's also some nude pans of Jr Bai, but I think Tien Niu used a body double. As the Celestial/Shaw package claims, "Not suitable for children." The Celestial/Shaw DVD bios also claim that Tien Niu is from Taiwan and her family originally comes from Shanghai. 'Thirteen' won't lift one's spirits and it doesn't provide any flashy escapism, but it wins points for its solid performances and its occasionally gripping melodrama.

Chiao Chuang and Yang Fan are handsome and decent actors, but their lack of a screen presence works against this film. Also, the film kind of snores at times when it isn't engaging. I do like the very polyphonic jazz music that's used in the credits. It works for the film as it's about a wealthy, prestigious family that's threatened by corruption and decadence by its own members. Jenny Hu, Tien Feng, and Ouyang Shafei give solid performances, but it's Angela Yu Chien who steals the show as Da Wei's vampy, spiteful sister Mona. Her diabolical laugh felt like a villainess out of a Saturday morning cartoon. This is the first serious Jenny Hu that I've seen; the only other Jenny Hu that I've seen, so far, is the inane, unabashed, yet fun 'Guess Who Killed My Twelve Lovers' (1969). The bios on the Celestial/Shaw DVD for 'Torrent of Desire' claim that the Shaw execs usually cast Jenny in contemporary films and they kept her out of period dramas and action-oriented films. The reason, I presume, is probably because of her Germanic-Chinese complexion. There's another Shaw Brothers actress named Shen Yueh Ming and (to me, at least) she resembles Jenny Hu. I wonder if Shen Yue Ming is "pure" Chinese or mixed like Jenny? I am not racist or anything and I won't make a big deal out of it. My own bloodline is like "a patch of wild flowers". Aside from some flaws and the fact that it promises a lot and delivers little, 'Torrent of Desire' is a downbeat, yet decent melodrama.

This Inoue Umetsugu film didn't feel as spirited and fun as his other Shaw films (the epilouge is a bit sombre), but it did boast some color and fun. Then again, these formula-driven films were already showing their tired blood. Umetsugu's multi-genre elements are in place, but he seems to put an emphasis on comedy and less on romance, drama, suspense, and the musical/dance numbers. This film may have had a tight budget to work with (even though there's some Japanese locations in the film). As in 'Millionaire Chase', there's a "Batman-esque" brawl. Only this time, the film's cast gets splattered with different colors of paint. I think Spielberg's '1941' (1979) set a higher record for paint wasted for the sake of comedy! Umetsugu does spice up the film with his usual brand of broad, screwball humor. Irene Chen Yi Ling's Lin Yili is near-sighted: without her glasses, she puts her bra on backwards and she accidentally walks into walls or falls into swimming pools. Lily Ho's Nancy Ho dances to some rock and funk music in a night club and her dress starts to lose its structual integrity! Ling Yun's character uses himself to hide her naked back and Nancy Ho thinks he's trying to take advantage of her.

Li Kun, from 'The Big Boss', co-stars as a cat burglar who has a change of heart when he sees the jewelry smugglers take Yili and Tianming hostage.

'We Love Millionares' is nothing special (or refreshing), but it does provide ninety-seven minutes of unpretentious, lightweight fun. Inoue Umetsugu's films aren't "Shakespeare", but they are fun to watch.

In 'Mr. FunnyBone Strikes Again' (1978), Ms. Chen and Li Ching are no-shows, but Lo Fu Ji/Master Q (Wang Sha), Potato (Ai Tung Kwa), and Mr. Chin (Liu Lu Hua) do try to maintain enough interest in this Shaw Brothers-produced follow-up to 1976's 'Lo Fu Ji/Mr. Funny Bone'. Kwei Chi Hung hands the director's chair over to Wang Feng for this installment. Lo Fu Ji and his pals gain HK$2,000,000 when they sell a valuable Mandarin vase to a collector. However, after the wealth attracts golddiggers, calamites, follies, decadence, not to mention some greedy thugs, Lo Fu Ji and his pals try to do something positive with the money. They plan to donate it to a hospital, but a gang of Triads won't make it easy for Alphonso Wang Chak's beloved characters to do so.

The humor in this Lo Fu Ji sequel isn't as vulgar as its predecessor, but it's still offensive at times. Lo Fu Ji tells a young, female artisan that the large, black smear on his botched painting is "an African monk searching for a raven at night"! There's also a scene where a guy in a turban (Indian, perhaps?) beats up a burglar. From a certain camera angle, it looks very "lewd" (don't ask; try to see it for yourself...). Humor does have a "dark" side (no pun intended). There's still some other amusing bits where Lo Fu Ji comes to the aid of some gweilo tourists as thugs are robbing them. The gweilos pick up Lo Fu Ji, toss him up in the air, and shout, "Hip-hip-hooray! You're a hero!" Out of the blue, the gweilos get back into the tour bus and Lo Fu Ji ends up crashing into the pavement! There's another amusing bit of non-sequitor humor where Lo Fu Ji subdues a thug, as he is beating up Potato, by hurling vaccines/needles at him, as if Lo Fu Ji was in a pub, or something! In Lo Fu Ji's absurd, cartoonish world, the vaccines turn the thug into a creature that resembles a werewolf! It's too bad that this Lo Fu Ji sequel didn't have more of that Looney Toons/blaxploitation music that the first film had. The stock music is still put to good use, though. 'Mr. FunnyBone Strikes Again' isn't worthy of Oscars or a Golden Horse award, but it did manage to please as much as it predecessor. Then again, it probably won't be everyone's cup of tea.

This film chronicles the misadventures of Master Q and his pals: trying to board a bus in Hong Kong (Master Q even clings to the side of the bus, light years before Jackie Chan would in the 'Police Story' films), dealing with muggers in the park (a young Yeung Pan Pan makes a cameo in this scene), dealing with a female ghost that wanders around an apartment building, having fun at the beach, asking Ms. Chen for her hand in marriage, and more.

This film is very infantile and cartoonish, but it may have some "verisimilitude/keepin' it real": Master Q's obese, female cousin punches Ms. Chen and she literally flies across the room! Some of the humor is quite vulgar: Chin urinates in the ocean and a bunch of dead fish rise to the top! Some of the humor doesn't work too well: Potato passes gas (complete with powder shooting out of his pants). Some gags had me in stitches: Master Q tries to push a door open...only to realize it had to be pulled open. Master Q buys two ice cream cones...that accidentally smack against a woman's bikini top (light years before sassy pop singer Madonna would don cone-shaped bras). Master Q fans, newbies and veterans, may relish in this film, but some will probably be turned off by it.

Trivia: Tsui Hark made a CGI-driven remake in 'Master Q 2001'.

The constant musical/pop numbers, uneven structure, esoteric puns, and broad gags may drive some viewers bananas! Nevertheless, I enjoyed this piece of lightweight musical/slasher-horror/romantic/comedy flick and I think it worked a lot better than it should've. A group of college kids (one is portrayed by a young Dean Shek Tin) are stranded on Lantau Island during a typhoon (the word, according to my Mandarin Chinese textbook, 'typhoon' derives from the Chinese words 'tai' and 'feng', i.e. 'excessive winds') . Luckily, the youngsters brought along their musical instruments and a radio. They won't die of boredom! On the radio, they hear a news report about a woman named Jenny (Hu's character is also named Jenny Hu) , a woman who killed twelve men and she escaped from Hong Kong in a speed boat (while wearing an orange, form-fitting bathing suit[!, There is a God!]) . A local on Lantau Island (a familiar face, Li Kun, from 'The Big Boss' and 'Fist of Fury') runs into Jenny and he helps her find some shelter (for some reason, the Island of Lantau has no lodging) . The youngsters, in a 'Scooby-Doo-esque'-style sans Scooby and Scrappy, keep an eye out for murder-suspect, Jenny Hu. Chin Han portrays a renovator who runs into Jenny while she takes a bubble bath, but he thinks she's a ghost (a la 'A Chinese Ghost Story') . Irene Chin Yi-ling portrays the fiancee of Chin Han's character and she becomes jealous when Chin Han's character gets close to Jenny. Will he be victim #13 (as the Celestial/Shaw DVD case asks) ?

I haven't seen a lot of Jenny Hu's films, but I am willing to bet $10 that this is one her more light-hearted works in her filmography. From a number of different sources, I 've heard that Jenny Hu's films consist mostly of romantic and dramatic works. Some people compare Jenny Hu, for some reason, to Audrey Hepburn. Jenny Hu appeared,in such films, opposite Peter Chen Ho in the romantic/drama/musical 'Till the End of Time' and in 'Torrent of Desire', a film about a distinguished family with a dark, decadent side. I have to admit that Jenny Hu's ear-to-ear smile, classy beauty, Germanic-Chinese complexion, and solid acting abilities are appealing. The 'Da Zui Xia/Come Drink with Me/Golden Swallow' gag was quite amusing, aside from its esoteric nuances. Chin Yi-ling and a female co-star "duel" with bamboo sticks as the 'Come Drink with Me/Golden Swallow' score plays on the soundtrack. I laughed my @#$ off, but the pun may fly over the heads of some viewers. The "duel" gag with the 'Golden Swallow' music almost felt like the prolouge from '1941' (1979) where Spielberg pokes fun at his own blockbuster, 'Jaws'. 'Golden Swallow' and 'Guess Who Killed My Twelve Lovers' both are Shaw Brothers-produced flicks ( I am sure the studio execs didn't mind letting the filmmakers use the 'Golden Swallow' music for the "duel" gag) . Speaking of 'Jaws' (1975) ( and Spielberg's TV movie 'Duel'[1971]) , there's a scene involving a shark (this film was made about seven years before 'Jaws'[1975]) . There's another scene in '1941' where Tim Matheson and Nancy Allen run into a sculpture of a T-rex in the La Brea tarpits (Spielberg later directed a film version of 'Jurassic Park', talk about prophetic... ) . Jenny Hu has probably appeared in better films than this, but this flick is a nice, lightweight anti-thesis to Jenny Hu's more serious films.

I really dig the credit sequence for "The Merry Wife". Pictures of Li Ching are cut out and pasted onto an animated character that "creates a door" or dances around. I haven't seen a credits sequence that colorful and silly since that Kim Cattral film, "Mannequin" (1987). If "The Merry Wife" were an American film (or remade by a Western film company), it would probably cause controversy with its provocative story of a teenage girl marrying a middle aged man (some people in the Southern USA might tolerate it...). Still, Li Ching and Ling Yun have a lot of chemistry together and they were probably over eighteen years old when they appeared together in this film. The Celestial/Shaw DVD case claims that this film is like "To Sir with Love" meets "Gidget". I guess that juxtaposition is justifiable to some extent.

The comedy in this flick is quite subtle: Zhenzhen tries to ditch a schoolboy, who has the hots for her, by trying to get him drunk with brandy. When the kid isn't looking, Zhenzhen pours her glass of brandy into another glass sitting on her lap. There's also another scene where a male teacher admits to Lin Min that he has the hots for Zhenzhen. Lin Min gives him a blank, white sheet of paper and he leaves the room. The schoolteacher flips the sheet of paper to find out that Zhenzhen is married to Lin (i.e. a wedding photo). The school teacher is shocked, but he finds some happiness with a woman who has no luck trying to get a date with Lin. As for Li Ching, I have become a Mex-American, eccentric, xenophile Gen-Y fanboy of the "Baby Queen". She demonstrates that women don't have to look like they've been on a heroin binge for a week to maintain a pleasing, voluptuous figure or be beautiful. She's also charming and a solid actress; those piercing eyes, those dimples, her curves, and that warm smile are many factors that I like about her. Does anyone have any dirt on Li Ching (aside from her "jade vase" role in "Sexy Girls of Denmark"). If anyone has reliable information on Shaw Brothers actress Li Ching, please e-mail me at rudeboy8080@yahoo.com. Now, back to the review. "The Merry Wife" suffers from its dated look (Li Ching's hair styles, go-go boots, disco floors, the groovy soundtrack, etc.), but this film is still a fun, lightweight romantic comedy that manages to please.

I got this film (along with "Three Smiles" (1969), a film version of a Huangmei Opera that I recommend), as I wanted a 200cc Li Ching injection. Like Jack Nicholson in "Little Shop of Horrors" (1962), I declared, and I quote, "Oh, goody, goody! Here it comes!" This remake of "Mambo Girl" starts to fall to pieces in the last 1/3 of the film. In its defense, it has some solid performances from its cast and the scene where Ivy (Li Ching) is almost raped by her "uncle" (Yang Chih-ching) is effectively-chilling! I wanted to leap on screen and save Li Ching's Ivy, but as movies usually aren't an interactive experience, no can do! Oh, yeah. What ever happens to Ivy's biological mother? During a violent struggle with Ivy's "uncle", she's hit over the head with a wine bottle and she passes out! Is she unconcious or dead? Not only does Ivy forget about her, but so does the film! As usual, Li Ching is looking ultra-sweet and her performance is quite good, but she didn't look too comfortable with her role in some scenes. Then again, if I were a woman, I wouldn't feel too comfortable being molested and violated by a man, even if it's merely staged accosting.

"A Place to Call Home" is a decent film, but I recommend "Mambo Girl" instead of (and in addition to)this film. I didn't know that Margaret Hsing Hui could act with a touch of Joan Collins. Yan Jun and Ouyang Shafei were quite good as Ivy's foster parents. They definitely help keep this film afloat. "A Place..." lacks the qualities that made "Mambo Girl" work so well. I must thank Brian at brns.com for some help in bringing this film to my attention. If one plans on viewing "Place", I suggest that one check out "Mambo Girl" first. Thank you.

This effort from Inoue Umetsugu was less satisfying, but it still had some moments. Peter Chen Ho's character deals with his surpressed libido in an uncomfortable scene where the cameras pan in on the legs and clothed breasts of the female students. The slapstick humor still manages to please, though. Chen Ho tries to find milk for the baby on a farm near the road. When all he can find are bulls (I wonder if the Farley brothers saw this film's dyspeptic gag as inspiration for one in 'Kingpin'? The gag in this film is nowhere as crude, though), the farmers start chasing him while wielding farm tools! They assume that he's bothering the cattle! I laughed my @#$ off when Peter Chen Ho accidentally wanders into a room where the girls are reporting for a physical (Peter Chen Ho tries to cover his eyes for the sake of decency)! An uptight faculty member swats a broom against Chen Ho's head! When Chen Ho gets hit in the back of his head, he uses his hands to block the broom that's hitting the back of his noggin, but in the process, he has to uncover his eyes! This process repeats itself until two students help him find his way out of the room. It looks funnier than it sounds. As a less fickle, more conservative professor, Li Ching still looks pretty damned sweet! If my eyes had a pancreas, it would go into shock from her sweet, lovely complexion! Anyway, her performance was quite solid. On the other hand, director Inoue Umetsugu could've done a lot more with this film. There may be some potential spoilers here. There's a subplot about a student who wants to commit suicide (the student is the mother of the baby; the principal's son got her pregnant and she may have to drop out of school); the filmmakers could've done much more with stuff like this. There's still some well written lines like, "Sex is meaningless without love." I guess in order to keep a light tone, the narrative had to go in a sappy, unrealistic, and upbeat direction. Oh, well. The musical numbers are small-scale and they sound nice , but they aren't too memorable. 'Whose Baby is in the Classroom' isn't one of Umetsugu's best (well, to be honest, I have only seen a few of his films), but it's a nice, lightweight film that manages to please to some extent.

"The Price of Love" doesn't have the freshness that "A Patch of Blue" had, or Jerry Goldsmith's haunting, downbeat music score; but TPOL is a solid remake. The lovely Chin Ping, in her last Shaw Brothers-produced film appearance, does a good job making us care about Ah Fang.

The first film that I saw Teddy Robin Kwan in was the 1992 action comedy "Twin Dragons" (a film that had Jackie Chan playing dual roles). Kwan was somewhat annoying in that film, but in TPOL, he manages to do a good acting job and not irritate us too much. He also performed some corny songs for the film. Also, director Wu Jia Xiang and the filmmakers managed to put their own stamp on this remake of "A Patch of Blue". They didn't make a shot for shot, carbon copy remake (a la Gus Van Sant's 1998 remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 1960 classic, "Psycho"). There's a sub-plot where Lin tries to have Ah Fang's sight restored through surgery. That didn't happen in "A Patch of Blue". If one enjoys downbeat, "weepie" melodramas, "The Price of Love" manages to deliver.

Fans of melodramatic "weepies" may dig this film. There are scenes where Ah Jiao, Blockhead, and Uncle have to look hopelessness, adversity, and despair right in the face! John Lo Mar somehow succeeds in making us care about the three leads.

To take some of the edge off the drama, the director uses some witty humor. There's a "Pygmalion" scene where the talent scout's staff transforms Ah Jiao into a socialite:

English coach: A...
Ah Jiao: A...
E.C.: B...
Ah Jiao: B...
E.C.: C...
Ah Jiao: C? Sz? I don't want to die!
E.C.: What do you mean?

'HT' is made in the HK Chinese idiom, but its plot manages to be decipherable. 'HT' also has a dated 1970's look and stock music from 'Shaft' (1971). Some people these days have trouble watching a movie made prior to their date of birth!

'HT' is the kind of film that could turn off some viewers. I noticed that the theme song from 'Mr. Funny Bone/Lo Fu Ji' (1976) and one of Diana's pop songs have the same rhythm. Interesting. 'The Happy Trio' is a solid film that deserves a place in one's Li Ching film library...or a video rental, at least (if one can find a video store that carries it).

If viewed objectively, 'Flash Gordon' is a very flawed, campy film. Sam Jones wasn't born to play Flash, but he does a capable job (he definitely showed more life than Steve Holland did in TV's 'Flash Gordon' from the early 1950's). Someone who reviewed this film claims that Planet Mongo's skyline looks like "cotton candy". Also, the narrative feels kind of undercooked. When I first saw this film on local TV at the age of 13, I had some trouble making sense of the muddled narrative. Then again, if one doesn't take this film too seriously, it's a fun ride! Queen, one of my favorite bands, deserve some kudos for their contributions to the soundtrack. Gil Taylor, who also was the DP on 'Star Wars' (1977) , filmed 'Flash Gordon'. I heard that George Lucas and Gil Taylor had a clash of styles during the making of 'Star Wars'. Oh, well. This film shamelessly left a door open for a sequel (did one ever appear?) ; I wonder if there will ever be a contemporary film adaptation around the corner for 'Flash'?

Memorable lines:

• FLASH...he's just a man...with a man's courage...
• Today's unprecedented solar eclipse is no cause for alarm...
• Impetuous boy! Oh, well...who wants to live forever? HA, HA, HA, HA!
• OH, FLASH...I LOVE YOU...BUT WE ONLY HAVE FOURTEEN HOURS TO SAVE THE WORLD!

Paul Chun Pui portrays Father Nu's former assistant who is now a manager for Baihong and Qinping. Tsung Hua is second unit director, Jiang Xiliang, at Crown Cinema. Aside from having to deal with an overbearing director and stuck-up starlet You Ming (Ling Ling), Baihong and Qinping make friends with dozens of character-actors and technicians. Things aren't all bad for the Nu sisters. Yang Chi-ching co-stars as an eye doctor who is hired to try and restore Father Nu's vision. Jiang Xiliang wants to direct a musical starring Baihong, Qinping, and Ziying, but the egotistical director and You Ming think that a musical has no potential. The main exec at Crown Cinema is interested, but he could end up veto-ing the film. What's to become of Baihong, Qinping, Ziying, their entourage, and their dream project?

Irene Chen Yi Ling is one lovely, solid actress. She has a pair of large, sparkling eyes and a sweet smile. She retired from acting in the mid-seventies and she got married (typical of most starlets). She also appeared in 'Guess Who Killed My Twelve Lovers' as Chin Han's on-screen fiancee. Betty Ting Pei does a good job, as usual. I think this film was made before Bruce Lee suffered from a bad brain edema in her apartment (Lee later passed away and the rest is history). This one event seemed to tarnished her image. Ting Pei does manage to make Baihong sympathetic despite Baihong's one-dimensional character. What's the name of that adorable actress who portrays Ziying? If anyone knows, please e-mail me with an answer. Aside from being a very formulaic and dated film, 'The Yellow Muffler' is still fun!

'The 5 Billion Dollar Legacy' works quite well, aside from some flaws. Kuo Man No's on-screen boyfriend is framed for murder and the cops haul him away. What about his whereabouts? As in Irvin Kirshner's 'The Eyes of Laura Mars', the audience can pretty much figure out the real identity of the villain before the climax rolls around, even with the plot twists, double-crosses, and double-double-crosses.

If one thinks that Inoue Umetsugu is a mere sissy because of his musicals, this non-musical film may prove one wrong. Graphic footage of heart surgery, a guy getting a hammer bashed into his head (not for the sake of comedy), and scenes involving a nude woman taking a shower are used by Inoue Umetsugu to get a reaction out of the audience. Margaret Hsing Hui does a fine acting job in 'T5BDL'. According to a number of sources, Hsing Hui retired from acting in early 1970's and she moved to the U.S. after appearing in a number of Shaw Brothers films. Her mother's body was found dead by the authorities in 1994 and Hsing Hui later confessed to killing her. She is serving a ten or eleven year prison sentence (does this mean that she'll be released from prison soon?). Wow! Of the many actresses on the face of this planet, I never would've thought that Margaret Hsing Hui would do something like that! Whoa!

!Que increible! Oh, well! I still appreciate her contributions to the Shaw films that she appeared in. Wang Ping's character, Jingxian, has got be the loveliest, blind character since Jenny (Sally Yeh) in John Woo's 'The Killer'. With Jingxian's reliance on senses other than vision, she tries to find a way to communicate with the ogre and she listen for the "patterns" in one's footsteps. Kuo Man No is one voluptuous, leading lady and she does a good acting job. 'The 5 Billion Dollar Legacy' is another solid film in the latter part of Inoue Umetsugu's career and something his fans and casual viewers may or may not want to sample.

Possible spoilers:
Liao finds out that Mr. Chen is actually Ma Tien Piao: he's started a new life under a new name and he's splitting his stolen goods (stolen goods that Liao helped him steal) with other bandits. For some reason, Ma tries to silence Liao when he finds out that he's alive! Ming Ming and Siu Ba find Liao's battered and torn anatomy after Ma sets a trap for Liao. They try to nurse him back to health. When Ma finds out that Liao is still alive, Ma tries to force the answers out of Siu Ba and Ming Ming. When neither of them will tell him of Liao's hiding place, he beats and kills them both! A clan leader (Shih Kien, "Mr. Han") helps nurse Liao back to health. With a broken heart over Ming Ming's death and a thirst for revenge, Liao wants some payback! Now, this is where 'The Fugitive' loses some points. Watching Li Ching getting beaten and shot to death by bullets was an unpleasant sight (this is the first film that I've seen where Li Ching's character dies)! No one kills Li Ching and gets away with it! It was like this time down in Mexico when I would play with this adorable, innocent, crusty, white kitten. I loved that kitten; it didn't even have a name. It survived on a diet of table scraps that I shared with it. I was so heartbroken when it got ran over by an automobile. I'll probably feel worse if and when the real Li Ching leaves us (god forbid).

In defense of 'The Fugitive', it has some brutal gunplay and some kung fu tinged brawls. The gunplay actually overwhelms the film compared to the kung fu brawling. The gunplay may not be as breathtaking or technically-advanced as a 1980's Heroic Bloodshed film, but it still packs a good punch. Director Chang Tseng Chai even throws in some nice, female nudity. Some viewers may cringe at the gratuitous female nudity, but some viewers may end up with no complaints at all. Hee, hee! There's also canned music from Sergio Leone's 'Once Upon a Time in the West' and a few 007 flicks. I almost thought Jason Robards was going to pop out of the blue and request some coffee. It works quite well for a dark, gritty, kung fu-tinged, period action-crime drama. This film takes place in the early Chinese Republic (judging by the cop uniforms, hairstyles, and horses). Pretty, conservative actress Ouyang Shafei appears as a woman who gets mugged by Liao Fei Lung. At a mere 76 minutes, this film's story doesn't have much of a chance to develop well enough.

'The Fugitive' is nothing special...but it's a decent, downbeat, 1970's HK actioner that packs some layers into a standard revenge plot.

'Super Inframan' has its share of cheese. Even though Princess Elzibub and her lackeys are centuries old, they can speak fluent Mandarin (I have only seen the Mandarin version, so far)! Watching Mutant Drill and a skeleton-clad lackey take Dr. Liu to Mount Devil by speedboat makes me want to snicker! Another flaw in the film involves a sappy scene where Dr. Liu tells his daughter that he's happy if he can keep his children safe from monsters. Thankfully, this scene doesn't overwhelm or affect the rest of the movie. Still, Tong Gaai's solid, zesty action choreography, the colorful art design, the cinematography by Tadashi Nishimoto, the killer music score (Was it canned or original? Oh, well! It still cooks.), etc. are a number of factors that make this cheesy movie special. Is it just me or did the scenes of destruction in the city feel Irwin Allen-esque? Some of the footage may have had an influence on 'Independence Day' (1996). Princess Elzibub not only feels like a semi-threat, but she makes me feel funny! Kind of like when I used to climb the rope in gym class!

Kudos to the stunt guys who worked on 'Inframan'; they endure some painful-looking stuff. This movie felt like a Power Rangers episode, only without the crappy, English-speaking actors, crappy English dubbing, and some more edgier violence (although, it's far from R-rated). Like 'Gamera' and 'Fugitive Alien', this film is a fun, MST3K-worthy flick. If one is looking for a cheesy, cinematic blast from the past, 'Super Inframan' may be up one's alley.

Hsiao Hsiang portrays a scholar, Wei Bizheng, who has the hots for Huo Dingjin (ultra-lovely Li Ching), the daughter of an aristocratic father and stepmother. Wei Bizhang, under a pseudonym (he adapts a 'Huo' to it), works for the family and he tries to earn the hand of Dingjin in marriage. Wei Bizhang heads to the capital to take an exam and he plans on marrying Dingjin when he returns. Wei Bizhang and Dingjin share a pair of pearl phoenix hairpins as a token of love. Just when it seems that Wei Bizhang and Dingjin may live happily ever after, Dingjin is betrothed to the son of the Zhou family. Dingjin's father (Yang Chih Ching), and semi-wicked stepmother, claim that Dingjin has two choices: marry into the Zhou family or commit suicide!

Not wanting to choose either option, Dingjin and a maiden disguise themselves as men, they burn down her domicile (to leave the illusion that Dingjin and her maiden are killed in the fire), and they head to the capital. Under the pseudonym, Huo Bizhang, Dingjin reaches the capital and she works and she earns the rank of inspector general from the government (under the disguise of a man). However, Dingjin's parents do not find two bodies after the fire dies down and Dingjin's mother has bribed an imperial official into capturing Wei Bizhang and having him poisoned! Can Dingjin get to Wei Bizhang before it's too late?

'The Pearl Phoenix' may be a less popular film version of a Huangmei Opera, but it's still a quintessential film in the genre. It may feel too formulaic, but I thought it managed to please. I just got it because I'm a Li Ching fanboy and 'The Pearl Phoenix' delivered what I wanted: Li Ching, Li Ching portraying a woman, and Li Ching portraying a woman in a "trouser role". The musical numbers are sound pretty good and the claustrophobic Shaw Brothers studio sets serve their purpose. There are a few scenes that look like locations, luckily. Also, the ninety-four minute running time helps this film feel breezy. The Celestial/Shaw/IVL DVD (that I sampled the film from) has been nicely restored and revitalizes the experience of viewing this film. 'The Pearl Phoenix' is quite good even though it seems to be a lesser film adaptation of a Huangmei opera. I enjoyed it and some other viewers may enjoy it as well.

One of my favorite scenes is where Hsiao Ping sings in a box while Tsu-hsin runs "magic" blades into the "magic box". The audience starts to panic when an "accident" seems to occur (DON'T try this at home, folks.)! The scene feels twisted, yet innocuous. Sexpot Lily Ho and cutie-pie Chin Ping make cameo appearances in the last 1/4 of the film during a color/emotional/fortune-telling dance/musical number. HK and Japanese musicals seem to be a dead, or at least, a dormant genre, or subgenre. While I am no expert on musicals, Hollywood musicals seemed much more technically-advanced than their Asian musical counter-parts of the past. However, the musical and dance numbers are still fun and exhilarating to watch. The dance/musical numbers can be just as fun to watch as a well-staged fight scene from a Kung Fu film or Wu Xia Pian. I wonder if musicals will ever make a comeback in future HK cinema? Oh well, until then, one can watch 'Hong Kong Rhapsody.'

Get out the handkerchiefs. "Susanna" (1968), from director Ho Meng Hua ("The Flying Guillotine"), is coming soon to a theater--home theater--near you. Li Ching is Lin Shen Shen/Susanna: she's an ego-driven, selfish, condescending young schoolgirl. She's even willing to seduce and steal the boyfriend of her shy, introverted sister, Lin Xiao Ting (Allison Chang Yen). However, after a painful series of seizures, Susanna finds out that she has cancer...and about eight months left to live! She makes an oath to right her wrongs with every remaining moment of her life. However, redeeming herself will be easier said than done.

I liked "Susanna" a lot more than I had expected beforehand. Even though it becomes increasingly harrowing and downbeat as it progresses, it was still well-made. Then again, there are some inherent flaws. There's a scene where Susanna conveniently has a seizure in front of a doctor's office on her way to the cineplex. What are the odds of that? There may be a reference to Linda Lin Dai's suicide in the film (Lin Dai's suicide was still a current event when "Susanna" was made). In a school play, Susanna portrays a dying woman with a name similar to Lin Dai's. There are also scenes where Susanna almost overdoses on pills, but each time, she finds a reason to stop herself. As usual, it's a joy seeing the lovely Li Ching act in one of her better films.

I hope that the real "Baby Queen" Li Ching is willing to do an interview or something for a Celestial/Shaw DVD while she still lives. If one enjoys well-crafted "weepie" melodrama, "Susanna" is recommended.

At times, 'Kingdom' is very fun, entertaining, filled with catchy musical numbers, and loaded with color and, at times, it's downbeat and melodramatic. The late Linda Lin Dai's exuberant performance alone makes the film worth a look. There's a nice scene where Ta Niu sees how depressed and melancholy Li Feng is; he tries to mitigate her pain by going town to town, telling people (while clapping wood and singing) about Chu's philandering (even against the adverse conditions of bad weather, starvation, and getting caught by the authorities!). I can see why Lin Dai is such a popular starlet: she's a beauty, her facial expressions can be like cold grimaces or a warm, sweet smile, she had character, and she was a solid actress. She was looped over by Ting Jing during the musical numbers, but we do get to hear her voice on the synch-soundtrack; many HK films were/are filmed in MOS (silent) and the dialouge, music, sound effects, etc. are looped in later on. It's unfortunate that she commited suicide in 1964 (many starlets commited suicide in those days, for some reason). King Hu was a pretty good actor (and a director, as well); he even has a nice sense of humor that's appealing. In 'Kingdom', Ta Niu mocks Chu when he tries to search for Li Feng. Chu tries to massage Li Feng's hand as they search for crickets. Without taking notice, Chu accidentally massages Ta Niu's hand and Ta Niu bites (not too hard) Chu's hand. The multi-talented Li Han Hsiang does a fine job crafting 'Kingdom and the Beauty', aside from its unevenness and flaws. We also get to the "Shaw logo" when it was simply "Shaws", and not the SB logo that the studio would later use. Yang Chi Ching, Ma Lam, Kok Lee Yan, and many others co-star. 'Kingdom and the Beauty' loses a lot of fun and color 2/3 of the way into the film, but it's still a very good film.

Once again, Ivy Ling Po shows us that she can portray a man as gracefully as she can play a woman. The lovely and talented Li Ching also does a credible job playing dual roles. The special effects are crude, but they get the job done. There's a bloodless (well, 99.2% bloodless) sword battle that breaks out in the climax. The choreography is very blocky, but this isn't a Chang Cheh or Lau Ka Leung film, so it's no big deal. I have to admit that 'The Mermaid' did get really bizarre when the fantasy scenes took place. In one scene, Li Ching is walking on clouds (this scene may have been filmed on an ice skating rink with a fog machines and a matte painting in the background). 'The Mermaid' may not be the best film in the Huangmei opera film genre, but it is good, lightweight fun. Enjoy!

To be quite honest, the plot was very convoluted. I couldn't tell what this film was about until 1/2 way into the story. In its defense, the convoluted plot preserved the enigmatic qualities of each character. I couldn't tell the dubious from the trustworthy until the final reel (or final DVD chapters). I have to hand it to Chu Yuan; he definitely tries to flesh out the story and characters so the action scenes have a context to fit into. I like the way that Chu Yuan is willing to depict women as legitimate (even as deadly) as their male counterparts. Chang Cheh was infamous for emphasizing on maciste, male-bonding and downgrading female characters (Sister Pepper [Ching Li from Taiwan, not Li Ching from Shanghai] from 'The Anonymous Heroes' is an exception). One flaw about this film involves Chu Liu Hsiang: he's the title character (and the HK title for the film is his name), yet he is the least fascinating character in the film compared to the others. Also, the action takes place in a very unrealistic fashion. Black Pearl (Li Ching) is hurled through the back of a wooden staircase, yet her lovely face isn't stratched or bruised! Some viewers need not care.

Li Ching was probably about 29 years old when this film was released in 1977 (she was still a teenager in the 1960's). Li Ching looked a bit leaner in this film (and more like a WOMAN) and she probably took some fighting lessons before filming (she's doubled for the more acrobatic bits). Then again, Li Ching didn't seem destined to be a screen fighter (like Lily Li or Kara Wai Ying Hung)and she seemed better off sticking to acting. Still, Li Ching held her own in the action bits. My favorite scene in the film is where Chu Liu Hsiang and Black Pearl camp out in a remote location that's rumored to be haunted by ghosts. I don't know if this scene was in Ku Long's novel, but it felt like filler to me. A "ghost" offers Black Pearl some roast pork, she screams, and she runs up a post like a frightened cat! "You gwei a! You gwei a! [Ghosts! Ghosts!]" yells Black Pearl. Chu Liu Hsiang boldly accepts some food from the "ghosts". After eating an apple, Chu comments, "Hao chr la! [This is good!]" Chu munches on a severed arm, Black Pearl loses her grip on the post, and she's on the verge of vomiting! Chu Liu Hsiang offers Black Pearl some severed arm and she runs while screaming, "Jiu ming a! [Help!]" Black Pearl later finds out that the severed arm was actually made of honey and lotus leaves. That was a fun, albeit superfluous scene. 'Clans of Intrigue' isn't flawless, but it did provide some retro Shaw Brothers kung fu thrills that I was looking for. Recommended!

Memorable lines:

The villains in 'Knight of Knights' are straight-forward bad guys; the filmmakers make no attempts to humanize them. For Li Ching fans, like me, she briefly appears as a young woman who gets captured by the Zhaoqing monks and Wen Su Chen saves her, her brother, and her sister-in-law. Ku Feng appears as Carpenter Yan, Li Ching's on-screen brother. If I am not mistaken, a young Lily Li also co-stars. Lily Ho/He Li Li appears as a government official's daughter and a potential love interest to Wen Su Chen. There seems to be a small continuity problem: Lily Ho gets tossed into the ocean, Wen Su Chen saves her from getting raped by a corrupt official, and he gives her some privacy when she changes from wet clothes to dry ones. Lily Ho may have used a body double in this scene where her character is nude. At the time, Lily Ho was lean and when we see pans of her body double, she looks...ahem..."well-fed". Oh, well! What does it matter? The swordplay battles, for a 1960's HK film, are well-staged and dynamic. The pagoda that's rigged to collapse and the trap door with the pit of fire underneath are some nice touches of detail in the story. Even the art direction is neat: the elevator behind the closet door, for example.

The violence in 'Knight of Knights' does get a little over-the-top, at times, but it's kind of tame compared to the likes of 'The One-Armed Swordsman' trilogy or 'Five Element Ninja'. 'The Knight of Knights' is 88 minutes (the version I saw was played at PAL speed on a NTSC DVD) of action-packed, visceral adventure. Enjoy!

For you kung fu cinema connoisuers, a young Lily Li co-stars as the girlfriend of the landlord's son. The landlord's son, I am not sure what his name is, also appeared in 'The Merry Wife' as a kid who has a crush on Li Ching, as stunt co-ordinator Xia Li Hong in 'The Yellow Muffler', and a college kid pretending to be rich in 'We Love Millionaires'. Kuo Man No appears as one of the tenants in the film. Kuo Man No, a solid AND voluptuous actress, also appeared in Umetsugu's 'The Five Billion Dollar Legacy'. Kuo Man No? Kuo Man Yes!!!

Inoue Umetsugu seems to enjoy fetishistically filming certain parts of exterior, female anatomy, but he usually...USUALLY...does it in a tasteful manner. There's a fair share of scenes where women shower (no nudity...in this film alone) and scenes where women are in their underwear. I used to have a lot of unfavorable opinions about Betty Ting Pei as she was the last woman to see Bruce Lee alive and she did jump on the "Bruce-ploitation" bandwagon with 'Bruce and I'. Now, I've forgiven her, more or less, now that I've seen some decent work from her Shaw films and she is quite comely. Actor Yang Fan looks a little like Andy Lau (the actor/pop singer, not director Andrew Lau) to me, at least, and he does a capable job as Yau Suk Man's love interest. In 'Apartment for Ladies', director Inoue Umetsugu seems to put an emphasis on comedy, drama, and mystery. There's also some romance, cheesecake, and musical numbers, as well. The director puts his cast to good use, as usual. There's still some flaws: Lulu, one of the ladies who lives among Miss Yau, cries when her boss dumps her for Kuo Man No's character, but she abruptly stops weeping when Miss Yau inquires about a song that begins with, "Life is like a boat..." As mentioned earlier, Yang Fan's character saves Miss Yau right at the exact moment when she needs him. In real life, Miss Yau may not have been so lucky. Oh, well. 'Apartment for Ladies' is just a movie. Also, Inoue Umetsugu is bound to have some detractors as well as fans. He was a skilled and imaginative filmmaker, even though he did rehash a lot of his earlier work and his films don't seem too pretentious. What 'Apartment' lacks in story and character depth, it makes up for with color and fun.

Despite its 85 minute running time, 'Sweet is Revenge' does move at a very smooth pace and it feels longer than a mere hour and a half. Is it just me or did the actor who played Deputy Wang sound like a Chinese Joe Pesci with his loud, scratchy voice? Oh, well. Li Ching's Dan Peng isn't watered down to window dressing, thank goodness, but she still doesn't amount to more than a damsel-in-distress. Yueh Hua does well enough as Xiao Pao, the masked thief. Yueh Hua is definitely an underrated HK actor (in the West, at least). Some people may remember an older Yueh Hua made a brief appearance in 'Rumble in the Bronx' (1995). I've only seen two other Wu Chia-xiang films before this one, 'Guess Who Killed My Twelve Lovers' and 'A Place to Call Home'.

I like this Wu Chia Xiang-directed film the most. Aside from its flaws, 'Sweet' wins some points for creativity.

As for its redeeming values, this film delivers the goods. Beautifully crafted action scenes and stunts, top-notch production values (HK standards), a short, yet decent fight between Jackie and Vincent Lyn, and more. This quintessential action-adventure film really holds up after numerous viewings.

The sweet, lovely, talented Li Ching plays dual roles in 'King Eagle': she portrays a good, noble swordswoman named Yuk Lin and Yuk Lin's younger, cold-blooded, power-hungry, evil sister, Bing Er. With the use of stand-ins, optical effects, and Li Ching's caliber as an actress, she does a convincing job portraying a protagonist and an antagonist in the same film. 'Li Ching vs. Li Ching' could be a good, unofficial, alternate title for 'King Eagle'. Aside from a fair amount of bloodshed, 'King Eagle' isn't as visceral or blood-soaked as Chang Cheh's 'One-Armed Swordsman Returns' or 'Five Element Ninja'. The fight scenes, staged by Tong Gaai/Tang Hsia and Yuen Cheung Yan, aren't too breathtaking or revolutionary, but they still pack a good punch. Ti Lung, as usual, holds his own as a noble, anti-hero swordsman. He was one of the most well-known leading men in wu xia pian swordplay films. Some of John Barry's 'On Her Majesty's Secret Service' score (one of my favorite 007 films) is used when Jin Fei's comrade-in-arms is brutally killed by the villains' swords ("He had a lot of guts!")! 'King Eagle' may not be one of Chang Cheh's most memorable films, but it's quite good.

I love that bit in the coffee house where Monkey is waiting for Jingni (or was it Qingping?) and Buffalo is waiting for Qingping. Monkey and Buffalo are sitting on seats next to eachother, but their seats are pointed in opposite directions. I love the way director Evan Yang has Peter Chen Ho and Roy Chiao pour coffee, add lumps of sugar and/or milk, and stir the coffee in an almost synchronized pattern. Man, that was funny! I remember when I was 9 or 10 years old and I saw Roy Chiao as the evil Lao Che in the prolouge of 'Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom' (1984). I thought to myself, "Wow! He's so dreamy!" Not to sound like a "homo" or anything, I am a straight guy. I 've had friends who were gay, but I just let 'em be. As Bullitt would say, "I 'll work my side of the street and you...work yours. Okay?" I just think the late Roy Chiao was handsome, that's all! Apparently, Qingping thinks so too! I gotta admit, Grace Chang and Lin Cui are both charismatic and I could feel both of their presences. As a gag, during an archery contest, Jingni shoots a guy's hat off with an arrow! She doesn't harm a hair on his head. If I had pulled something like that in high school during archery practice, I could've been expelled! Then again, 'Spring Song' is just a movie. 'Spring Song' also has a cool soundtrack: Grace sings some Mandarin song to the tune to Puccini's 'La Donna e Mobile', there's a Mandarin version of 'Que Sera' (Spanish for 'what will be' in the future tense; sung as a cover by Ned Flanders on 'The Simpsons' and performed in Alfred Hitchcock's 1959 remake of his 1933 film, 'The Man Who Knew Too Much'), Chen Ho and Grace Chang boogie to some rock 'n' roll song, and Grace even sings some Chinese opera. 'Spring Song' is recommended for viewers who are looking for lost gems in Hong Kong cinema's history.

I had fun watching 'Hong Kong Nocturne' even though I am not really partial to musicals. Celestial Pictures has done a superb job restoring the film for release with the original mono track remastered in Dolby 5.1, (keeping the original mono track could've been a good extra as well), plus other extras including interviews with Cheng Pei-pei, Marsha Yuan, Paul Fonoroff, and Bey Logan, as well as some more extras.

From a number of sources, I've heard that 'HK Nocturne' is a remake, for the Shaw Brothers studio, of a Japanese/Hollywood-style-musical that director Inoue Umetsugu had made years prior ('HK Nocturne' will be difficult for me to review, personally, since I haven't seen Inoue Umetsugu's original film made prior to 'HK Nocturne', as of yet[4/9/03]). 'HK Nocturne' is about three sisters (Chia Tsui-tsui [Lily Ho], Chia Chuen-chuen [Cheng Pei-pei], Chia Ting-ting [Chin Ping]) who endure the trials and tribulations of life as they work to succeed in the entertainment business. Their father is an egotistical magician who still thinks he's famous throughout Asia even though his glory days are behind him. Father Chia and his three daughters perform magic/musical/dance numbers at various night clubs in Hong Kong to make a living. Being widowed for an indefinite number of years (the film doesn't shed much light on the late mother), Father Chia shamelessly exploits his daughters's hard work and pockets their wages so he can pay his hollow, golddigging mistress, Hsiao Hua. This results in his daughters leaving him and going their separate ways to make a living: Tsui-tsui attempts to find work in cinema or on stage in Japan and Taiwan, Ting-ting attempts to learn ballet, Chuen-chuen joins a dance troupe run by her songwriter husband (played by Peter Chen Ho), and Father Chia looks for whatever gigs that he can get.

'HK Nocturne' is still fun, colorful, and entertaining to watch despite its dated 1960's look and style. Story cliches (such as a mean ballet teacher [played by Tien Feng], an accident during a stormy night, etc.) and some hammy acting somewhat bog down the film's quality, yet the story's level of objectivity remains high and the film's plot, characterization, and pacing remain consistent. Inoue Umetsugu's filmmaking style shows some nice symbolism with Tsui-tsui resembling the "hot" sun, Chuen-chuen resembling the "tender" moon, and Ting-ting resembling the "soft", twinkling stars.

Father Chia shedding tears of joy and whipping out a hanky that magically changes colors is a nice bit of style courtesy of Inoue Umetsugu and company. Cheng Pei-pei (in a non-swordswoman role) portrays Chia Chuen-chuen, the middle sister who sports a Jackie O'/'That Girl'/Mary Tyler Moore-esque 1960's hairdo as she puts her background of training in ballet to use. Even though Cheng Pei-pei is usually known for her swordswoman/martial artist roles (Golden Swallow in King Hu's 'Come Drink with Me', Yim Wing Chun's sifu in 'Wing Chun', for example, even though Pei-pei is not really a martial artist per se), 'HK Nocturne' is a rare exception. Saucy Lily Ho Leih-leih portrays Chia Tsui-tsui, the eldest sister. The scene that's been branded in my memory is where Lily Ho is taking a bubble bath in a clam-shaped tub during a fantasy musical/dance number ('Nu ren') and she steps out, revealing her naked backside! Hou cheng (How beautiful)! Oh, yeah! The scene, in my opinion, is tastefully done, yet kind of superfluous. We do not see her front courtesy of extras standing by with clothing (As John Woo comments in 'Hard Boiled', "We can't have everything in life." Oh, well). Cutie-pie Chin Ping portrays Chia Ting-ting. She practices ballet rigorously to appease her ill-mannered ballet teacher (who's secretly and somewhat in love with her) as he claims that she has no potential in ballet. The transition from her ballet teacher's daydream to Ting-ting's fever-induced nightmare is clichéd, but beautifully crafted with Tien Feng "multiplying himself into clones". Also, look out for supporting performances from Ku Feng, Yueh Hua, and others. Although trite, dated, and far from being a classic, I recommend 'Hong Kong Nocturne'.