The movie started off good. I mean, Sho and some idiot assassinating some Arabs, which turns out to be a training sequence? It was lovely. Then from there on out it's completely sucky. This is probably the most crappy and inconsistent film ever made, and I'm talking bad. It's like the evil step brother of "Plan 9 From Outer Space". The storytelling is so incoherent, it was almost impossible to sit through and follow. I got the premise that is about some terrorist group lead by a Nazi cripple with a pet monkey and some soul chick who calls herself Colonel Honey Hump that takes hostages so they can free some 7-foot wacko--but the storytelling is horrid.

"9 Deaths" does have its comical moments, I think. I'm not even sure as to whether the comedy was intentional or not. The comedy moments were shit, like when Sho fights some midgets dressed up Michael Jackson (or gangsters or whatever). Errr...that's about it.

One thing that did make me laugh so loud that I puked out my lungs was the credits at the beginning. As the title credits ensue, you'll see Sho perform his ninjitsu in a sexually suggestive form while some love song is playing. Then these ballerina dancers start prancing about (dis)gracefully. Oh my god, I wanted to die.

The action in this film wasn't any good either. It's like "Revenge Of The Ninja", only abate times 1,000,000,000,000,001. It was sloppier than hell and (by far) doesn't make up for this film's crappiness.

Another example of the film's absurdity (in a bad way) is Sho dressing up like an old man for no apparent reason as he beats up some guys. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT ALL ABOUT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?

You know what, scratch the suicide thing. All I have to do is watch it again and I'll get some sort of telepathic infliction which will exert a brain tumor, followed by encephalitis, then my head will explode. There we go, that outta' bring the religious nut-jobs to help with banning this ass soup.

Despite some crummy satire, this film is the boom-diggity. The first hour (or right at the point where Beardy learns the mantis fist from his master) is where the film gets really good, because before this it's just stupid comedy. The kung fu action is, thankfully, not entirely kung foolery.

Beardy is one of my favorite actors. No one in cinema can express insanity better than he (except David Gale, of course). His screen fighting is really unique and really authentic. Completely an underrated actor. Of course, some fat retard called Ric Meyers said he knew no kung fu before he did a film called "The Victim". So what the fuck do you call this? Or "5 Shaolin Masters"? Goddamn that walrus lookin' piece of garbage.

The final fight had to be one of the best fights in kung fu film history. Not only is it very significant and dramatic, but also insane. This is why I think Beardy is one of the best when expressing lunacy. To think they implemented cannibalism in kung fu fighting. Oooooh, baby, so freakin' brilliant. And for your incentive, the action is plentiful, plus the fight choreography was excellent.

Even with the useless, pointless, worthless, listless satire, this film rules booty, bitches. Highly recommended.

This film deserves a tiny fraction of credibility due to one man who died after the making of this bigoted, unethical piece of Nazi trash, and that is Raul Julia. Damn, his superb acting just consummately overshadows this film's abysmal structure of stupidity. Too bad really, his very existence almost makes up for this...this ASS, but it's not enough.

Where "Street Fighter" ('94) ultimately fails is in just about everything, from its horrible action, its ridiculous pacing, suck ass acting (except Raul Julia and, for some weird reason, the Russian guy called Zangief--dude, he was funny), poor and ignorant casting--for example the casting of a Samoan to play a Japanese sumo wrestler (E. Honda is not a Samoan name, f@#$ers)--and so forth. And the list perpetuates until my head explodes.

The success of this film is the chick who played Chun Li. UGH SHE'S HOT! And that's about it.

I hate this movie and yet I continue to watch it over and over again. KILL ME, NOW!!!!!!! :)

Maybe it's me--maybe I just get sick of new movies being cranked out the butthole to only reveal the same old shit. The stories and conceptions for today's kung fu films are soooooo worn out that this could have been an unintentional remake of a movie from the 70's or 80's; but who knows, really. To be perfectly honest, I think you're just looking for any excuse to give films like this any credibility when in truth you are in a state of denial.

The kung fu action was okay. JUST OKAY! I'll always have issues with wirework unless it fits with a film's level of insanity and/or absurdity, like "Tai Chi Master" or "Iron Monkey". But with a film like "Fearless" that's supposed to be consistent and well told (HA!), no wirework is required. It does not work. As far as the movements of the actors go, it feels a bit sloppy, but overall it's...eh, nice.

Probably the main reason why I didn't like this film is because of Jet Li. He is just not a convincing bad-ass. His martial art skills are 99% consummate but his screen presence is just weak. He's just a sissy Mary. The only films I've ever liked with him were "Tai Chi Master", "Fist Of Legend", "Martial Arts Of Shaolin", and for some odd reason "My Father Is A Hero". And perhaps "Once Upon A Time In China" 1-3, only because I like Tsui Hark films.

If you liked this film, fine. I don't care. But in the words of a great reviewer: "Nothing special here." It's just another everyday ordinary kung fu movie. Whoopee-do. Now I await your inflictions with elation.

AND THE ACTING WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!

FALSE ADVERTISEMENT!!!! The ass on the front cover of the DVD box is not the same as the ass in the movie. The ass on the front cover was plump and nice while the ass in the movie was nonexistent. Looked like a piece of cardboard with a fissure. I HATE THIS MOVIE!

Though some may ridicule this film as a sleazy, cheesy, exploitation sex film (and my god, you are sick), I thought this film was a really good revenge film. Its premise somewhat pertains to another revenge flick called "Kiss Of Death", except this takes the slasher film approach and there are no VD infections.

The first portion of the film is a lot of rape. But be wary, that this isn't the kind of rape where gratification applies (of course, being titillated by rape is sickening in itself, but eh, we all have our own unique primal instincts). It is vehement and very convincing to the point where if even you show an ounce of masturbational ecstasy, you'll find yourself filled with shame and disgust. Tsk, tsk. The second portion is vengeful that contains one severed pickle, asphyxiation, and flesh fracturing.

As to why one would give this film a 4-star rating is pointed directly at actress Camille Keaton. Man, I don't think any other woman in the history of film could have pulled off a more gutsy and grueling performance than she. She was trampling through the mud, through the woods, through the grassy fields, and all of this occurred while she was naked and being raped (not in actuality). Man, fuck all actresses in Hollywood, Camille out-does them all.

Lorena Bobbitt would be proud of a film like this, and rape victims can find some sense of gratification in "I Spit On Tour Grave" knowing the vile and wretched deaths brought upon the assailants were stimulating. Of course, this film brought upon me a fear of relationships due the phallic severance. At any rate, "I Spit On Your Grave" is not recommended to those who have a weak stomach for excessive violence and rape, but regardless, it should be watched for Camille's brilliant performance (and NO I wasn't turned on by her rape scenes, you weirdoes).

The story went nowhere as we delve deep into the bowels of a chick called Zhang Ziyi, whose rebellious nature gets her in trouble with a crappy sword. Then she screws some bandit and starts fights. Meanwhile, Chow Yun-Fat is on a never-ending quest to find the Jade Fox and kill her to avenge his master. Yes this is the story and moronic art film lovers cry over this crap.

I've heard there was a saying pertaining to the floating scene with Zhang and Chow: "their bodies are doing what their hearts cannot." What does this mean, exactly? This is exactly why I hate art films. Nothing makes sense. Oh sure, one must figure out the complexity in order to justify its meaning, but the question remains, does one even care? I can only get psychological stuff when come to perplexities. Art is just nonsensical to me and I am an artist. An oxymoron I am and proud of it.

The action is good with Yuen Wo Ping's brilliant choreography, plus the music implemented with each fight scene with drum banging mayhem, but it doesn't save the movie because of its extremely tedious pacing.

COMPLETELY INCOHERENT AND OVERRATED!!!!!! How a film like this can be loved is beyond my comprehension. 2 stars is too kind coming from me because I can't stand art films, but regardless, the film deserves credit for the action and music. The story goes nowhere and the pacing is like turtles having sex.

"Mighty Peking Man" is also extremely entertaining. To think, as I watch, that the best thing this film has to offer was the tiger biting some man's leg off, which was one of the funniest scenes ever crafted. But it never ends, it gets better and better and more and more absurd as the film rolls on, to the point where you get to see the greatest scene of all: Mighty Peking Man stomping on Ku Feng's character. I almost died from laughter. The insanity never ends, until the film ends of course.

There are times where the film does get emotional, where Peking Man is forced to become a misanthrope because of humanity's caustic ignorance and its antagonistic demeanor. It makes you sad to see a man in a monkey suit--er a monster who expresses his trust to humanity only to be betrayed by this atrocity, and in the end you will be rooting for Peking Man to destroy humanity. But when you get to the point where you are emotionally involved, the absurdities will manifest and everything is ruined. I loved it. It just f@#$s with your emotions, constantly.

"Mighty Peking Man" is absurd, stupid, and incoherent, yet it's heart-warming and sincere, and yet it's insane and retarded, and yet it's sad and depressing, and yet it's maniacal and--I swear I could go all day explaining my feelings and thoughts about this film. The only monster films that beat this film's high level of asininity are "Godzilla Vs. Megalon" and "King Kong Vs. Godzilla" as far as I'm concerned. This film is highly recommended to those who like their films campy and stupid and extremely fun.

Yes, another one of those "artsy fartsy" films where people cry over this film's ridiculous cinematography and say, "What brilliance! What flair. Holy crap, I just nutted in my underwear." God! This film bored me to tears with its stupid art film idiocy. Zhang Yimou is so overrated and a lousy director, much like Ang Lee and any other art filmmakers.

This film is somewhat of an improvement from Zhang Yimou's previous effort "Hero", 'cause yes the story is more consistent and easier to understand. Although the poetic garbage in "Flying Daggers" is more straightforward rather than just going all over the place and being absurdly paradoxical like "Hero" was.

The martial arts action was okay, I suppose. It's the only thing I really cared about and it's not anything to gloat about. It wasn't that great.

The cinematography was nice if you like that sort of thing. I can admire the flowy shit but it's just not my style.

The sex scene was awful. I swear it looked like Takeshi Kaneshiro was having sex with a praying mantis. Ugh!

Well, there you go! Slave loses more credibility because, unlike most people, he can see through these films' deceptions and does not comply to mainstream idiocy. Glad you people like this garbage but I don't. Completely boring and self-indulged piece of crap.

"The butterflies scream in agony, the love you show through apathy, the facade you wear is cruel, as the mountains play the fool." What the f@#$ are you talking about!?!

Horrible, vile, wretched spawn of Satan. This film is equally as bad as "Romeo Must Die". These dumbasses continue to misuse Jet Li's talents as a martial artist and hang his little ass on a wire. God. At least it isn't quite as bad as "Romeo Must Die". I mean come on! Wire fu football? Are you retarded? Ugh!

The story sucks. It's about Jet Li finding some black crystals.

The action is consummately abysmal. To think, I was all giddy to see a final fight scene with Mark Dacascos and Jet Li and it's ruined because the stupid director felt it was more logical to have all the characters involved to share the final showdown. Damn it, I want a straight fight without interruptions, but noooooo! we must see that overrated and untalented DMX swing a big-ass wooden nunchuck at some bald guy and Kelly Hu fight some chick with a big ass (though it was nice).

This film is like AIDS. You'll die slowly and painfully through every waking moment of your existence until it completely kills you. But watching this film is far worse, so thus I'd rather have AIDS. Recommended to those who like the smell of their own butt.

Considering most people have seen this film, I'll make it brief...

Ah yes, "Hellraiser". No other movie I can think of that could combine sodomy and hell and make it look so creepy, gross, and credulous. This film is far beyond sick.

I liked "Hellraiser" for its sickening ambience, creative characters, twisted gore, and conception. The film did feel a wee bit made-for-TV-ish, but it's not enough to bring it down.

And Hollywood will be remaking this film and it will suck pickles. Goddamn it!

To think I was all excited to assimilate "House of 1,000 Corpses" 'cause considering Rob's reputation as a horror film buff, you'd think it be grand and epic. Years go by as Rob's movie is rejected constantly by film studio distributors for this film's supposed graphic violence. Well after two or so years it was finally released, and after watching this crap, I finally understand why this film was rejected. This film was rejected 'cause, well, IT SUCKED!!!! COMPLETELY OVERRATED PILE OF CRAP!!!!

Where the film fails logically is in its direction. It is exactly like an Oliver Stone film which is shot in many aspects and in many different forms and you can't even tell what the hell is going on. The story is nonsensical. It's just a bunch of hillbillies torturing stupid brat teens. It's just--urgh, this film just sucks.

Words can't describe it, this film is abysmal and only people who want to have buttsex with Rob Zombie will like it.

Where the film ultimately fails is in its inconsistent tone, its ridiculously exasperating satire and useless story. The film begins well, I mean "Ha ha , stupid comedy and all that," but where the film completely loses all credibility is the scene when Hsiao Hou and his effeminate friends were serenading Kara Hui's character. God, what an annoying piece of turd this was. These morons couldn't even keep a steady beat when they were banging on their guitars. THIS SUCKED! I wanted to beat the crap out these obnoxious punks into oblivion. The film continues to lose credibility as the cast have their stupid little party where they dress up through their perception as foreigners. Then the police station ensues and afterwards the film picks up again but it's all so too late. This is where in one of those rare moments I would favor what is uncommonly called "The Fascist Severance of Chinese Authenticity". Yes, if they had cut this scene out of the film, maybe, it would have been better and more steady paced. And I know some of you cry over the notion of watching your precious little films being cut and nah nah nah nah nah nah, but I DON’T CARE! I HATE ALL THIS CRAP! UGH! :)

Another thing I hated, and this is my cynicism speaking, was the whole "Daddy-o" routine. I hate anything associated with the 50's (assuming this is in the '50s), other than the music, and I hate any and every lifestyle of the '50s. It's just consummately contrary to me. "Hey daddy-o, where are you at? You're a cool cat." SHUT UP!!

Where the film succeeds is, of course, the kung fu action. However the other thing I loved is Kara Hui. She is my alleviation from this cruel asperity. Watching her perform onscreen kept me from going insane with the '50s attire and stupid comedy. Kara is indeed one of most talented actresses in Chinese cinema. She's adorable, her on-screen martial arts are great, and her acting skills are really good.

This film is truly, sadistically torturous on a whole different level. It is a film I really wanted to like but just couldn't fully assimilate without cutting myself. Understand, I tried my best but failed miserably. The film is by no means abysmal, but it is indeed asphyxiating.

What a malicious, malignant movie this was! My word, someone is on the rag. To think Chow Yun-Fat needs to kill a shitload of animals to cure Maggie's berserker spell. And to think some Worm Tribe priest must kill a bunch of children (and succeeds) to create a stupid-looking monster called Little Ghost. I don't think happy people are going to like this, but eh, screw them.

This is one of Nam Nai Choi's best films ever. I loved it to death. Every corner you turn on this film, there is always something bizarre to see. For example, a Thai girl with the nicest ass in the world cuts a piece of her boob meat to feed it to Yuen Chen's character to hinder the 7th curse effect. Now that's epic. Urgh, not only is it sultry, it's funnier than hell. Plus the monster called Old Ancestor towards the end of the film was great. He looked like the H.R. Giger "Aliens" monster, only with wings and a stupid looking face. Oh I'm getting flustered.

The action is really great and at the same time hilarious. Man oh man, some of the greatest action scenes were watching the Yuen Chen character getting into a no-holds-barred fight with a skeleton which evidently was a puppet on a string. Another was the epic battle with Old Ancestor and Little Ghost. Come on, peoples, you know that was great. Among other things there are plentiful martial arts fights and some gun fights which were surprisingly well choreographed and intense. Even some of the stunts that were pulled off in this film were a bit frightening.

Other things to consider: the film was fast-paced, the story was unbelievably absurd, and the special effects were sometimes cheesy and sometimes good. The only flaw I found with "The Seventh Curse" (aside from everything else, depending on your point of view) is the Worm Tribe priest's voice. Yes, he sounds like a bitch.

Oh god, I loved "The Seventh Curse". Oh baby, I've seen this sucker legitimately 50 times and I can go for another 2,000,200 more times. Though I gave this film a 5-star rating, logically it's a 3 ½ star rating. Its absurdity levels the likes of "Mighty Peking Man" or "Ninja: The Final Duel", but eh, whatever. BEST FILM EVER!!!!!!

Indeed one of the best Venoms films ever for the reasons that this film excels in conception, characterization, and story, with excellent intricate kung fu weapons action. This is why the Venoms films are the best, because they are imaginary and don't have the usual garbage in kung fu films--lion dances, yeeesh!

The best thing about "Flag Of Iron" is the characterization. I loved the 10 assassins in the film, from the guy who shoots abacus beads and utilizes the remains as a deformed nunchaku, to the fat butcher, along with the four killers who use metal connectors and mini scythes. The best was the Eagle Clan. They are like kung fu Indians with feathers in their heads wearing leopard attire.

The kung fu action of course is phenomenal--as I said, utilizing intricate weapons, but the main theme is the flag spears. This stuff has been done before this film but I think this film pulled it off the best.

Some people may find the pacing of the film a bit slow and perhaps feel that this film doesn't have enough action to make up for lost time, but it depends on your attention span. But then again who cares about you? :)

Along with excellent cinematography and blah blah blah, "Flag Of Iron" ranks at #5 for best Venoms film ever for me. Highly recommended unless you are devoid of good taste in film. Tee hee.

The first 50 minutes of "Shaolin Mantis" is tedious stupidity, but afterwards the film is good. The first 50 minutes consists of a crappy fight sequence with David Chiang fighting against a monk and some Mongolian. Then the film wastes its time with a derivative and uninspiring story pertaining to infatuation and betrayal and dramatization. Then at the 50 minute mark it's kung fu action from there on out.

This film does contain one of my favorite training sequences of all time pertinent to the praying mantises. I have an affinity for praying mantises. They are the only insects with character (yes my psychological profiling is that keen) and I find them strangely adorable with their cute little antennas. To this day I still love playing with these little bastards and they're the only insects I will save from death (ladybugs and potato bugs I'll save too 'cause I'm fat). So that's why I liked this particular training sequence.

The film is by no means bad but it not that great either. Some nice martial arts action doesn't help the trite story, the slow-pacing all other forms of unoriginality (except the training scene) but if you're a Liu Chia-Liang wacko, then indulge.

This is yet another Tsui Hark original masterpiece, but one could understand why some people may not find this film appealing. The story is hard to follow, some, the special effects maybe too much, it's lacking in traditional kung fu action because most of the action is people flying around and shooting lasers at each other--but then again this was meant to be a fantasy film, period, so crying about it devoids logic because, after all, feelings are not facts.

I liked this film for its originality and the fact it feels different from most Chinese films. It's hard to explain, but it's just--I've seen a shitload of Chinese films and when I see "Zu", it just has a different feel. I also liked a lot of the action, the cinematography, the characters and costuming was alluring.

The only thing I found wrong with "Zu" was its pacing. I fell asleep to this film the first time I watched it, because it felt like it was going nowhere--a bit too inconsistent and sometimes slow. But after the third time (yes I'm a masochist for trying to find goodness in a boring shit) I found a means to like it. God, somebody shoot me.

I can understand why some would hate this film, but I just like weird stuff. Not recommended to those who hate Chinese fantasy films like "Battle Wizard" or "Kung Fu Cult Master".

First off, I loved "Master Of The Flying Guillotine" more than "One Armed Boxer", but my god this is by far one of the greatest films ever made. This film has a ton of fights and they were all intense and epic beyond recognition--better than any Bruce Lee movie ever made (except maybe "Enter The Dragon")!

The story is very inconsistent and basically sort of akin to "Chinese Boxer", only it's weirder. But who cares? This film has bad-ass action that far surpasses Sammo Hung and Jackie Chan films combined!

In conclusion: Jimmy Wang Yu once again proves he's better than everyone else, and he is the only man I will make love to (but I don't think that will ever happen 'cause it would be creepy for me).

One of the things I hated about this film was the male protagonist. God, what a fruitcake! Maybe I would have been more convinced if he dressed up like a girl and kicked ass, much like how women dress up like men and kick ass. Reverse sexism is kung fu films. I like that, let me write that down.

The kung fu action was really fun, with lots of swordfights and magical kung fu. Some will be disappointed by it because yes this is a fanasty/kung fu film which utilizes wires, camera effects... Others will be disappointed by the notion that the final fight scene is nothing but people flying around and shooting lasers at each other. It does sometimes kill it for me when these films just want to titillate you with these stupid effects, but considering this film is consistent with my mindset, I accepted it.

If you like films like "Battle Wizard" or "Zu: Warriors Of The Magic Mountain" then look no further as you delve deep into the bowels of insanity which is this film, "Holy Flame Of The Martial World". I found this film to be purely insane and fun with lots of great costuming, characters, and plentiful weapons kung fu action. But if you hate weird shit, then avoid!

Yet another Liu Chia-Liang film where forgiveness is divine. No wonder Chang Cheh quit doing movies with Liu. Liu probably was being egotistical and wanted the protagonist to have tailpipe copulation with the antagonist and share their infatuations with martial arts with one another. Of course, I'm being hypothetical. God! I wonder if a person who's killed 10,000 babies, raped 100,000 women, and razed villages just for the purposes of stealing 2 taels of silver would be forgiven in a Liu film? All signs point to yes. He must be forgiven 'cause, after all, a punch to the face and expressed elation will assuage his thoughts from infamy and he'll never rape again. Gee, I guess I should follow this suit and forgive Hitler for killing 1,000,000 of Jews. Freakin' idiots.

Sorry, that was uncalled for but this is why I could never consider Liu Chia-Liang a great director. Not because his kung fu choreography was sucky (far from that) but the stories he puts in most of his films suck. The whole consolidation process is just flat-out crappy. "Heroes Of The East" was the only film of his I could thoroughly acccept his "sharing the knowledge" shtick, but this is retarded, especially with this film, "Challenge of the Masters". I WANT DEATH and that is why Chang Cheh will always be better director than Liu Chia-Liang.

The movie itself is average at best with Liu's brilliant (not his best, however) kung fu choreography and so forth, but the amount of fights are the slightest bit lacking. The story is wretched and stupid and not worth assimilating unless you want a brain tumor. Everything else you’d expect from a Shaw Brother movie: all there. Whoopie-do.

Only recommended to Liu Chia-Liang nutcases, and I know there are a lot of you out there, but please, be sensible and logical; this film sucked donkey butt!

Entertaining as hell, but there are two flaws to this film. One of the flaws completely kills the consistency of this film's pacing, and that is the wretched, stupid sex scene between Jubei and the princess. God awful! I have seen better sensual sex scenes in a Disney movie! This was bad... (I go on a 2 minute rant where my words are incoherent and I'm spewing nothing but nonsensical perverse garbage even Satan wouldn't post until...) It is what I call face sex, where all you see in copulative simulations is their ugly faces. Why can't these dumb-asses screw like the couple in "Super Ninja"? Now that's a sex scene. Noooooo, we must be titillated by their love and passion. No reason to see naked woman or a giant...well you get the idea!

Second flaw is the crappy, uneuphoneous music. The first time I saw this film, it was English-dubbed. At first I thought the stupid English vocalized music was implemented in this film as a means to decimate the ethnics of Japanese cinema by uncreative, fat, and stupid morons. But then I got the authentic release and behold, it was in the film all this time. The music flat-out sucks, and the man who wrote it should be strangled for his lack of musical genuineness. There are moments of musical decency, but all around it's akin to flatulence.

Despite this crap, this film was great, but it is indeed an absurd film mostly pertaining towards special effects, over acting, and story. This film is perceived to be similar to "Conan The Barbarian", but I'd say it's more like "Conan The Destroyer". The special effects are cheesy and weird. The acting is artificial and completely bad. The princess in some points of the film looks immensely constipated. The story is completely retarded--I mean come on, these people must unite their balls to obtain a bow and arrow! Are you insane or just inane? God, I could go all day on the absurdities this film contains, but I don't feel like it. But at least you'll be satisfied with some excellent samurai fights. And that's about it.

I loved this film! A completely asinine masterpiece filled with crap that will make you laugh! Not recommended to serious film lovers.

Let's get the obvious out of the way and just say the film had excellent martial arts action. I like the fact that we get to see different forms of martial arts, from Japanese style to Chinese style. The ninja stuff was a wee bit absurd, but it had to be put in somewhere and I loved it regardless. The story is actually quite good also, even with the comedy.

The best thing about this film is that they used actual Japanese martial arts actors. I sometimes get agitated when I see films like "Memoirs Of A Geisha", where they used Chinese actresses to play Japanese roles. It ruins the ethnicity of the film and, simply put, it's ignorant and bigoted. I'm glad to see a bit of unity in this film between the Japanese and Chinese because, as you are aware, there was a high level of hatred between these two countries. Not quite sure how it is now.

[SPOILERS] Also I loved how the film ended. Yes, I actually smiled and got all stimulated at the end seeing that Kendo master all happy when Gordon Liu's character accepted the sword when before he didn't because of his ignorance towards samurai ethics. I usually favor hatred and death, but because of the nature of this film, it is what I hoped for and that is a happy ending. [END SPOILERS]

One of the best Shaw films ever made, if not one of the best martial arts films ever made. For those who think this film is overrated, suck the sweat off my blubber! (Couldn't resist.)

Hands down one of the best kung fu films ever conceived. This film defines how great martial arts films are crafted, and I'm not talking about just the kung fu action in general. The film for me succeeds in its over-embellished acting--I mean everyone in this film was pissed off. Also the music was completely awesome and mingled in with the film just perfectly. The cinematography was, of course, beautiful. The story was straightforward but still completely over-the-top. And for your consideration, the kung fu choreography is dead-on perfect. Very well performed and beautiful and DEATHLY! :)

Of course, even with a film like this, there are a couple of absurdities, if not counting the over-acting and the vehemence. The background scenery for the first battle--my god, how factitious that was. Geez, talk about fake. It makes an Ed Wood movie seem like a $1,000,000,000 budget movie. Secondly, the final fight--I was laughing so damn hard at the teeth-pulling scene. I mean come on, what hell is up with that? I mean I understand the logic the monks were going at, driving the wolves away, but wouldn't it be more humane to just kill these people?

Lau Kar Leung should have done more movies like this instead of his dumb-ass comical garbage like "Cat Vs. Rat" or "My Young ASS"! This is kung fu filming perfection at its highest. AND NOT OVERRATED! Ba-zing!

"Duel To The Death" is a very nice movie. It has lots of swordplay action, utilizing a lot of acrobatics, trampling shit, wire fu, and straight combat. Another thing to consider is the movie's excellent score. I loved the main theme song, which is quite euphonious, along with other music that fit well with the film. The effects were a bit silly but fun, especially the giant 20-foot ninja or the glider ninjas and exploding dummies which I didn't even think they tried to make look real. Cinematography, blah blah blah, GREAT!

However there are a couple of reasons why I gave this film a 4 out of 5. First off, the wire fu. They didn't use quite as much as some people might think throughout the film, but the final fight was a bit too retarded. Sure there are great moments in this particular fight sequence, but the over-used effects of them flying about was too much. Second is some slow pacing and a few futile scenes--scenes like the manly woman fighter who was getting in touch with her feminine side or any crapping slight infatuation scenes which were stupid and repulsive. I HATE LOVE SCENES! THEY FLAT-OUT SUCK! :)

Overall, a schizophrenic wuxia pian ninja movie with a lot of action, great music, one naked woman (booooooo), decent story, and funny effects. Not recommended to wire fu fans.

The way the fights are choreographed was brilliant. I mean, a film like this can prove that special effects can work significantly well, primitively, rather than through CGI or any other lazy, factitious garbage that afflicts the thought-process of today's film culture (or at least mine). I loved it all, from the stealth and magic fights to the traditional kung fu. Beauteous.

I loved a lot of the characters in the film mainly based upon how they look. Gordon Liu obviously was the coolest, especially when he had his fight scene with Lau Kar Leung. It's that kind of appeal that turns me onto these kind of films in terms of costuming, character and personality, and not just with kung fu action in general.

The story and concept would be considered ordinary by some, depending on how long you've been exposed to kung fu films. The story is about the Ching Government sending some magician fighters to kill a deserter (Lau Kar Leung), fearing that he might expose the falsities of Chinese magic being utilized against foreign weapons to the Emperor. The story is really quite good.

In conclusion: aside from "8 Diagram Pole Fighter", this is the best film Lau Kar Leung has ever directed. Highest recommendations.

"Ah yeeeea, bitches", this is indeed an epic beyond comprehension. Why "We're Going To Eat You" is so great is because it's a kung fu film that tries something different in terms of conception instead of the usual boring, self-indulged kung fu films which, quite frankly, I'm getting thoroughly sick of. Yes, Tsui Hark the genius has hybridized Italian cannibal horror with kung fu with added suppliments of comedy and pure insanity, and my God it was phenomenal. And yes there is plenty of gore in this film if you're into that sort of thing. There is no other film like this one, at least not before it.

The kung fu action in this film is plentiful and, may I add, very entertaining. The most entertaining fight scenes were any that pertained to the masked men whose job was to capture people and turn them into human stew. It just felt right for me.

The comedy satire won't work for everyone but it did work for me because, considering that "We're Going To Eat You" is sheer lunacy at its finest, I felt the comedy was very consistent with the flow of this film. I should also point out that the giant man dressed as a woman was the funniest thing I have ever seen. I don't know the actor's name, but he is without doubt the most unique Chinese actor I have ever seen. You can see him in other films like "Ninja Wolves", "Fearless Dragon", and the ultimate classic film, "72 Desperate Rebels", where he plays a monk with silver caustic teeth that just growls and chases people around. It's freakin' awesome!

Much like "Five Deadly Venoms", "We're Going To Eat You" screams originality. Pure brilliance of comedy/cannibal/kung fu mayhem, and I pity those who hated it.

I will say this as nicely as I can: THIS IS THE FILM THAT DEFINED KUNG FU FILMS AS WE SEE THEM TODAY! It's all about who got there first and it certainly WASN'T your precious Bruce Lee. No, no, no! It was Jimmy Wang Yu. Granted, I will admit that Bruce Lee was the one who implemented real martial arts in film, but he DID NOT start this. He did not convert Wuxin Pein into Kung Fu and I will fight to the death (literally) to prove that my superior logic overcomes weak and fragile stupidity. IN YOUR FACE! :)

Anyways, now that I'm over my male PMS (if that even exists), "The Chinese Boxer" is awesome. Lots of boxing and internal bleeding with a simple yet fun story. The fights were excellent. And yes, I know how you people want to justify your silly little comments over the idea that Jimmy doesn't know shit about kung fu, that he just swings his arms around like a tool. Plus comparing him to some un-credible director or actor. Well, you are consummately wrong. Jimmy is a brawler. He just beats people to death and I think it wonderful. His screen presence is bad-ass and you will cry knowing how wrong you truly are.

Not Jimmy's best film, but still it kicks ass and I'll say it again: CHINESE BOXER DEFINES ALL KUNG FU FILMS OF TODAY! Now if you'll excuse me, I must assimilate my retard pills!

Oh my, was this film sickly. Well, anyways, yes this film is a bit retarded. The only thing really worth commenting on in this film is the final battle between good wizard and bad wizard. My god. How truly incredulous the special effects are. The lasers are flat-out stupid, along with the background shots with the actors implemented. It is so bad. But I did laugh at it so I found it entertaining.

Other malignant things to expect are blood worms, tits, ass, crappy sex scenes (maybe I should start getting into porn), crappy decay effects, and some bleeding.

I could only recommend this film to insane crackheads or people who are lovers of the absurd. I follow "lovers of the absurd", of course, but this film is the pinnacle of trash cinema. Not recommended to serious film lovers.

You know, the idea of extracting skin to make Chinese lanterns is original. I've never heard of any other movie doing this concept. AND I LOVE IT! (Insert factitious maniacal laughter here, followed by titillation). This film is flat-out awesome. It is a kung fu film for sure, but if you are just about the kung fu, you will have to wait 45 or so minutes before any fights occur. The first 45 are filled with mystique, murder, rich boys crying (sarcastic remark), and Lo Lieh's insanity.

Do not fret, because the kung fu action is excellent and plentiful after the 45-minute mark. All the fights I loved the most were with Lo Lieh. The final action sequence, where Lo Lieh is fighting the police and the rich punk, was simply epic. Thunder crash, Lo Lieh going insane, and the rich punk getting burnt to a crisp. It was freakin' powerful and epic. Made me cry like a silly billy.

One of the disappointments about this film is that there are not enough bloody deaths. I really wish this film was more of a grindhouse slasher kung fu film where you see lots of death and blood spilling (he he he). But I think the director's intentions were to make this film more majestic, 'cause the cinematography is beautiful and alluring. It's good enough for me but does not pertain to what I like in horror/slasher films: DEATH! :)

Highly recommended if like the concept of skin peeling goodness, great kung fu action (you have to be patient, people), and f#$%ing Lo Lieh.