The movie started off good. I mean, Sho and some idiot assassinating some Arabs, which turns out to be a training sequence? It was lovely. Then from there on out it's completely sucky. This is probably the most crappy and inconsistent film ever made, and I'm talking bad. It's like the evil step brother of "Plan 9 From Outer Space". The storytelling is so incoherent, it was almost impossible to sit through and follow. I got the premise that is about some terrorist group lead by a Nazi cripple with a pet monkey and some soul chick who calls herself Colonel Honey Hump that takes hostages so they can free some 7-foot wacko--but the storytelling is horrid.

"9 Deaths" does have its comical moments, I think. I'm not even sure as to whether the comedy was intentional or not. The comedy moments were shit, like when Sho fights some midgets dressed up Michael Jackson (or gangsters or whatever). Errr...that's about it.

One thing that did make me laugh so loud that I puked out my lungs was the credits at the beginning. As the title credits ensue, you'll see Sho perform his ninjitsu in a sexually suggestive form while some love song is playing. Then these ballerina dancers start prancing about (dis)gracefully. Oh my god, I wanted to die.

The action in this film wasn't any good either. It's like "Revenge Of The Ninja", only abate times 1,000,000,000,000,001. It was sloppier than hell and (by far) doesn't make up for this film's crappiness.

Another example of the film's absurdity (in a bad way) is Sho dressing up like an old man for no apparent reason as he beats up some guys. WHAT THE FUCK IS IT ALL ABOUT!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!!?

You know what, scratch the suicide thing. All I have to do is watch it again and I'll get some sort of telepathic infliction which will exert a brain tumor, followed by encephalitis, then my head will explode. There we go, that outta' bring the religious nut-jobs to help with banning this ass soup.

Horrible, vile, wretched spawn of Satan. This film is equally as bad as "Romeo Must Die". These dumbasses continue to misuse Jet Li's talents as a martial artist and hang his little ass on a wire. God. At least it isn't quite as bad as "Romeo Must Die". I mean come on! Wire fu football? Are you retarded? Ugh!

The story sucks. It's about Jet Li finding some black crystals.

The action is consummately abysmal. To think, I was all giddy to see a final fight scene with Mark Dacascos and Jet Li and it's ruined because the stupid director felt it was more logical to have all the characters involved to share the final showdown. Damn it, I want a straight fight without interruptions, but noooooo! we must see that overrated and untalented DMX swing a big-ass wooden nunchuck at some bald guy and Kelly Hu fight some chick with a big ass (though it was nice).

This film is like AIDS. You'll die slowly and painfully through every waking moment of your existence until it completely kills you. But watching this film is far worse, so thus I'd rather have AIDS. Recommended to those who like the smell of their own butt.

GOD! THIS FILM WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!! THE WORST VAN DAMME FILM EVER!!!!! ARRRGGGH!!! (Sorry for yelling.) This film is like "The Ring". I found myself yearning to cut myself maliciously as voices in my head were tempting my thoughts with suicidal happiness. But then I had a manifestation and realized this movie was subrogating me into doing something I might regret, then instantaneously I switched off the movie. But I realized it was only my mental problems playing with me (it wasn't...trust me) so I decided to watch the remaining 90 minutes of this garbage.

Horrible acting, horrible string orchestrated music (they tried to be epic which is a vomitous laugh), crappy fight scenes, Van Damme having sex with the camera, a "Bloodsport"-type of storytelling only a trillion time more abysmal and a whole lot of other crap is what to expect from this film. If you like this film, your friends and family will hate you and so will I and please don't take offense, I'm just being coherent and logical after all!

This film deserves a tiny fraction of credibility due to one man who died after the making of this bigoted, unethical piece of Nazi trash, and that is Raul Julia. Damn, his superb acting just consummately overshadows this film's abysmal structure of stupidity. Too bad really, his very existence almost makes up for this...this ASS, but it's not enough.

Where "Street Fighter" ('94) ultimately fails is in just about everything, from its horrible action, its ridiculous pacing, suck ass acting (except Raul Julia and, for some weird reason, the Russian guy called Zangief--dude, he was funny), poor and ignorant casting--for example the casting of a Samoan to play a Japanese sumo wrestler (E. Honda is not a Samoan name, f@#$ers)--and so forth. And the list perpetuates until my head explodes.

The success of this film is the chick who played Chun Li. UGH SHE'S HOT! And that's about it.

I hate this movie and yet I continue to watch it over and over again. KILL ME, NOW!!!!!!! :)

To think I was all excited to assimilate "House of 1,000 Corpses" 'cause considering Rob's reputation as a horror film buff, you'd think it be grand and epic. Years go by as Rob's movie is rejected constantly by film studio distributors for this film's supposed graphic violence. Well after two or so years it was finally released, and after watching this crap, I finally understand why this film was rejected. This film was rejected 'cause, well, IT SUCKED!!!! COMPLETELY OVERRATED PILE OF CRAP!!!!

Where the film fails logically is in its direction. It is exactly like an Oliver Stone film which is shot in many aspects and in many different forms and you can't even tell what the hell is going on. The story is nonsensical. It's just a bunch of hillbillies torturing stupid brat teens. It's just--urgh, this film just sucks.

Words can't describe it, this film is abysmal and only people who want to have buttsex with Rob Zombie will like it.

This film was awful. First off, as a TMNT fan, the one thing I want to see in a TMNT movie is the TMNT busting out their weapons and kicking ass. Not throwing crap at people or playing keep-away from the Foot or having an epic verbal battle with Super Shedder or break-dancing to a crappy Vanilla Ice song or running away like pansies when they see Toka and Razor. God! There were no good fights in this film. Well maybe Ernie Reyes Jr. was okay (I met him once in my Japanese Kempo class when I was 10 and had him sign my TMNT comic book...jealous?). I mean he did pull off some good moves, but it didn't help the film at all.

Two good things came out of this film. One was Toka and Razor. They were bad-ass mutants, though I would have preferred more familiar mutants from the cartoons like Slash or Leatherhead--hell I'd take Muckman, but Toka and Razor were cool. Shredder was the other, and I'm glad they didn't turn him into a circus clown and retained his character.

I would have given this film a 4 if only Vanilla Ice was wearing his "Word To Your Mother" jacket. That would have been epic, but he didn't, so thereby its 1/2 a star. This film sucked, and yes concerned parents who like treat their kids like precious artifacts, you ruined my childhood with your intended inflictions of depravity and apathy. It's your fault for my insanity. You ruined me and you ruined this movie. :)

As you may have noticed, I'm on my manly pre-menstrual cycle. Gadzooks! :(

What was Hollywood thinking when they brought in Brett Ratner? The guy makes a 7-minute film about some idiot in a hot tub and he gets to direct Hollywood films?? Can we say "sycophant", people? Mr. "I'm the biggest Jackie fan ever". God. Bet you $1000 if you ask him who Sammo Hung or Donnie Yen is he would say "Oh I think they are wonderful," WITHOUT NAMING A SINGLE MOVIE OF THEIRS!!! Bet you he can't name a Jackie film except "Police Story" films. Freakin' kung fu lovin' poser.

Evidently Brett's exasperating personality is manifested through this simulated piece of filth. I mean words can't describe the high amount of irritation this film has brought to my fragile little mind. The comedy factor is dire. Even a deaf person would know this. The acting is awful, but I do have to blame Brett for it because he is the director after all. Chris looks and acts like he was literally tweaking on meth. Jackie is more of an emu or emo or whatever those people are called than he is a dedicated cop.

The action was even annoying. Mr. "I love Jackie" obviously doesn't listen to Jackie's ideas when shooting an action sequence. All the action was horrible with Brett shooting the action way too close, ruining the experience. Plus with egos abound in Hollywood, it was clairvoyant that the action would be catastrophic.

Watching this film is like watching my ass get fatter. It's devastating, depressing and above all sadistically unentertaining. I would recommend "Spice World" over this garbage. Only recommended to people who are both deaf and blind.

Now I liked where they were going with this, however it was for the wrong franchise. As an original concept on its own it could work. Give it a logic--maybe the serial killer spirit possesses people and manifests their complacent killer instincts--and make the story psychological and intricate, and it could work. After all, people don't want imitations, they want the real thing. Jason himself not killing people out of nihilistic or discordant purposes is the pinnicle as to why this "Friday The 13th" failed as movie. So avoid this one at all costs.

BEST I-POD COMMERCIAL EVER! WOW! You mean I can assimilate through the "ID"-pod and acquire euphony to hinder my thoughts from functioning properly? OOOOOH BABY, BABY! BA-BA-BA-BABY! UUUH! [sexual moan]

URRGGGH! This film was horrible. Why this film is extremely bad is mainly because of the "ID"-pod shtick. Now, maybe you could argue that product placement in a movie is now commonplace and one shouldn't make a gargantuan deal about it. I can understand that notion, but the last thing I need to see in a f@#$in' movie is a goddamn commercial! Films are utilized as an escape from reality, not a means for us to assimilate productivity. This film blatantly pimped this product constantly, and at certain points in the film they have pimped this product out like a commercial on television. Clairvoyance suggests this will be commonplace in films soon enough and consumerism will run rampant. And one wonders why I'm a Nihilist?

As for the film itself, simply put, it sucks. The action is clumsy, the story is completely obsolete and stupid, the acting is horrible, the characters are unlikable and insidious, and the list goes on.

How Blade can go from an epic vampire action film like the first two films and then suddenly convert towards devastation is beyond me. Trust me, this film is lower than caca and I recommend you avoid this like AIDS!

Anyways, this movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic era where evil mutant rats are scurrying about killing people, I can only assume, and people must kill them (I assume).

This film is extraordinarily crappy to the highest degree, but its high level of horrible filming made this movie entertaining as hell. It's a laugh riot. The rats in this film look too obviously fake, the acting is wretched, and along with the dialouge, the conception, and characterization, ALL OF IT WAS SHITTY. So one would ask why I liked this film. The only excuse I can think of is, I'M ON METH AND ANGEL DUST!!!!

If train wrecks are your acquired assimilation, then this film will titallate your senses. But in all honesty, this is probably the worst, yet most entertaining film ever conceived. Not recommended to serious film lovers!

Wow! What a gargantuan load of crap this film was. First off, this is the most exasperating film I have ever seen. The characterization was mentally deficient. I honest to God wish the people in this movie would succumb. I hated the protangonist because he was obnoxiously lovable. I wish he was raped and killed. I HATE HIM! Though I have an infatuation with Christy Cheung (or whatever her name is), she sucked too.

The story was lame and gay. It's filled with too much buoancy and good natured garbage. Though I have no issue with the concept of happiness, still this film excels in exasperation regarding this benignant retardation.

The only thing worthy of optical assimilation is (of course) kung fu action. However, when it comes to this movie's idiotic story, the kung fu just doesn't cut it for me. I DETESTED the final fight scene because the protagonist (played by Jacky Wu) beat the living shit out of the antagonist without sustaining injury or even a hint of infliction (except maybe a few moments, I don't accurately recall this film). The final fight felt empty.

The fights are the only redeeming thing to come out of this asshole, but overall it smells like shit.

Sometimes bad acting can be considerably entertaining. However, there are times when the acting is sooooo bad it antagonizes the thoughts virulently and viewers will find themselves banging their heads against a wall, hoping to die. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to turn off the f!@#in' movie, but that's your problem. My reactions to this film's abysmal acting were insane. I wanted to sodomize the DVD of "Blood Heat", but if I snapped the bitch in half, I couldn't sell it back to a recycled DVD store, so sexual assault was more rational, but I didn't follow through. ALMOST, I guarantee it. :)

I'm sorry to those who liked this film's action and so forth, but the horrid acting overshadows the film, I'm afraid. I mean, I wanted this film to end with everyone being mutilated to death, especially the ass who played the Sewer Rat leader. HE PISSED ME OFF! "We are the Sewer Rats and we are retarded. Now we blow up your arena. (Ground explodes.) Whooo-hooo! Yeah! Uhhhh!" SHUT UP!!!!!!

The conception was nice, but unfortunately the story was poorly told and the horrid acting that goes along with it just made the film seem rather bleak.

If, however, you don't have conflicts with any personalities, annoying or otherwise, because it's more than likely you are annoying in your nature, this film does have great action. But I've said this before and I'll proudly say it a million times more: GREAT ACTION ALONE DOES NOT MAKE A GREAT MOVIE.

Not recommended unless you like being violated by a pogo sick.

The story went nowhere as we delve deep into the bowels of a chick called Zhang Ziyi, whose rebellious nature gets her in trouble with a crappy sword. Then she screws some bandit and starts fights. Meanwhile, Chow Yun-Fat is on a never-ending quest to find the Jade Fox and kill her to avenge his master. Yes this is the story and moronic art film lovers cry over this crap.

I've heard there was a saying pertaining to the floating scene with Zhang and Chow: "their bodies are doing what their hearts cannot." What does this mean, exactly? This is exactly why I hate art films. Nothing makes sense. Oh sure, one must figure out the complexity in order to justify its meaning, but the question remains, does one even care? I can only get psychological stuff when come to perplexities. Art is just nonsensical to me and I am an artist. An oxymoron I am and proud of it.

The action is good with Yuen Wo Ping's brilliant choreography, plus the music implemented with each fight scene with drum banging mayhem, but it doesn't save the movie because of its extremely tedious pacing.

COMPLETELY INCOHERENT AND OVERRATED!!!!!! How a film like this can be loved is beyond my comprehension. 2 stars is too kind coming from me because I can't stand art films, but regardless, the film deserves credit for the action and music. The story goes nowhere and the pacing is like turtles having sex.

1. Doris Lung. Now I find her screen fighting to be impressive, but she is indeed the hottest chick in kung fu film lore. Urgh! She was so damn cute in this film. Every time she says "grandpa" in her native tongue, I would hump a wall. Considering she said it 70 times, I'm technically a eunuch. Egads!

2. The final fight with Lo Lieh. Anything with Lo Lieh is bound to be epic, and the final fight with him was so awesome, it made up for this film's mediocrity. Much like "Fearless Hyena" with Jackie Chan, I was allured by the kung fu technique called Joy/Sorrow/Anger/Happy fist. I felt Lo Lieh pulled it off much better than Jackie.

Other than that this film is crappy. The kung fu fights were not very good. The choreography was sloppy, making these fighters seem like they are having a bitch-slapping contest. It gets dreadfully worse with the story as the story is commonplace in these kung fu films, pertaining to the "find the list of rebels" motif. And with an uninspiring story comes the comedy factor. It is so thoroughly annoying, it made me wanna' puncture my hearing process with a shovel. Ouchy. :(

Not recommended unless you have a carnal infatuation with Doris Lung or if you like Lo Lieh as much as I do. The comedy, kung fu action (except the final fight), and the story all sucked bananas. :)

This film should have been called "Neutrality". It would be more logical since the fascists are NEUTRALIZING emotions. YOU CAN'T BALANCE EMOTIONS, IDIOTS! Anyways, I feel the concept pertains to the reality of thought merchants of the world who want to control our behaviors and our emotions in order to keep a society functional. It's a politician aspect. I see this growing at an inert rate but with people wanting to ban shit like cigarettes, beer or whatever, it seems suppression of human behavior is an inevitable logic and the equilibrium in the human psyche will result in either apathy or entropy.

The film itself, I'm NOT sorry to say, is an abject failure. The concept and story of this film may have looked good on paper but of course manifested into retardation. The concept is really idealistic fascism at its finest. Though drugs do have the potency to suppress emotions (think vegetable), credulity and abuse of power is much more logical (obviously). But I guess you could argue that THIS IS A MOVIE. And I will not refute.

Another thing to consider is the sadistically cruel pacing. Like a snail f@*#ing a turtle, it's slow-paced.

The action was okay but a bit too instantaneous, silly and not quite abundant. The concept of gun-kata is kinda' like a literal translation of John Woo style gun fights--making gun fighting like a martial art or something pertaining to that notion. But the gun fights in "Equilibrium" are by no means better. They are creative and innovative but silly.

It's not the worst film ever conceived but it surely isn't good. Only people who like "Matrix" rip-offs, Christian "B-LIST!!!!!!!" Bale, or (ho ho) "Matrix"-like action will like this film. Others should avoid it like the plague! (An over-used satire, I KNOW!!!)

THIS FILM KICKS ASS! But this film will not appeal to most people. Basically, the entertainment value of this film pertains to movies like "Super Inframan" or "Godzilla vs. Megalon". It's corny, cheezy and stupid with horrible acting, abysmal CGI, an insignificant story, mongoloidish concept, plus the action is just plain silly--but damn it all to hell I loved every second of this piece of garbage.

Giving this movie 2 stars is as honest as I can be for coherent purposes (I would have given this film a 4 star rating). To most people, however, this film is a one star at best. This film was so astronomically bad it was good. Not recommended to serious film lovers.

First off, I hated this film. Not for its wuxia pian swordplay action, but for everything else.

The story has to be the most ridiculous piece of crap to ever exist in the history of Chinese cinema. The film is about a charater who remains Nameless (DUR, I'm SO FUNNY, DUH) who gets to meet the King for killing his most feared enemies. Then it goes on to where Nameless tells the tale of how he killed them. then the story converts when the candle lights flicker towards the King and Nameless is revealed to be an assassin and wants to kill the King. The story completely deviates and now Nameless tells the story TO THE KING of how he decieved him. OH MY GOD! THIS IS PURE RETARDATION!

Oh let us not forget the morality which this film teaches us: to unite a country you must kill those who are not like you, like women, children and calligraphers, and a blade of grass can be used as a weapon. God, if you're gonna use implications, at least make it more relevant.

The characterization was wretched. No one in this film was interesting, just stupid, apathetic, theoretically elusive morons crying about their detestation for the King. God, just tell the girl why you spared the King. IT'S THAT EASY. "OH no, I'm in sorrow and I understand him. I think he's a hot man." DON'T GET ME STARTED.

I didn't care about the cinematography and the flowy art in this film. I'm reluctant to opinionate on it because no matter how much the credulity contradicts, inconclusivity triumphs.

I didn't completely hate this film, only because of the fight scenes (which by the way weren't that great, but nice enough to enjoy), and I can comprehend why people can like a film like this; but this film is overrated and completely a self-indulged non-sensicality. Only recommended to the articulate crowd.

Maybe it's me--maybe I just get sick of new movies being cranked out the butthole to only reveal the same old shit. The stories and conceptions for today's kung fu films are soooooo worn out that this could have been an unintentional remake of a movie from the 70's or 80's; but who knows, really. To be perfectly honest, I think you're just looking for any excuse to give films like this any credibility when in truth you are in a state of denial.

The kung fu action was okay. JUST OKAY! I'll always have issues with wirework unless it fits with a film's level of insanity and/or absurdity, like "Tai Chi Master" or "Iron Monkey". But with a film like "Fearless" that's supposed to be consistent and well told (HA!), no wirework is required. It does not work. As far as the movements of the actors go, it feels a bit sloppy, but overall it's...eh, nice.

Probably the main reason why I didn't like this film is because of Jet Li. He is just not a convincing bad-ass. His martial art skills are 99% consummate but his screen presence is just weak. He's just a sissy Mary. The only films I've ever liked with him were "Tai Chi Master", "Fist Of Legend", "Martial Arts Of Shaolin", and for some odd reason "My Father Is A Hero". And perhaps "Once Upon A Time In China" 1-3, only because I like Tsui Hark films.

If you liked this film, fine. I don't care. But in the words of a great reviewer: "Nothing special here." It's just another everyday ordinary kung fu movie. Whoopee-do. Now I await your inflictions with elation.

AND THE ACTING WAS HORRIBLE!!!!!

Yes, another one of those "artsy fartsy" films where people cry over this film's ridiculous cinematography and say, "What brilliance! What flair. Holy crap, I just nutted in my underwear." God! This film bored me to tears with its stupid art film idiocy. Zhang Yimou is so overrated and a lousy director, much like Ang Lee and any other art filmmakers.

This film is somewhat of an improvement from Zhang Yimou's previous effort "Hero", 'cause yes the story is more consistent and easier to understand. Although the poetic garbage in "Flying Daggers" is more straightforward rather than just going all over the place and being absurdly paradoxical like "Hero" was.

The martial arts action was okay, I suppose. It's the only thing I really cared about and it's not anything to gloat about. It wasn't that great.

The cinematography was nice if you like that sort of thing. I can admire the flowy shit but it's just not my style.

The sex scene was awful. I swear it looked like Takeshi Kaneshiro was having sex with a praying mantis. Ugh!

Well, there you go! Slave loses more credibility because, unlike most people, he can see through these films' deceptions and does not comply to mainstream idiocy. Glad you people like this garbage but I don't. Completely boring and self-indulged piece of crap.

"The butterflies scream in agony, the love you show through apathy, the facade you wear is cruel, as the mountains play the fool." What the f@#$ are you talking about!?!

Yet another Liu Chia-Liang film where forgiveness is divine. No wonder Chang Cheh quit doing movies with Liu. Liu probably was being egotistical and wanted the protagonist to have tailpipe copulation with the antagonist and share their infatuations with martial arts with one another. Of course, I'm being hypothetical. God! I wonder if a person who's killed 10,000 babies, raped 100,000 women, and razed villages just for the purposes of stealing 2 taels of silver would be forgiven in a Liu film? All signs point to yes. He must be forgiven 'cause, after all, a punch to the face and expressed elation will assuage his thoughts from infamy and he'll never rape again. Gee, I guess I should follow this suit and forgive Hitler for killing 1,000,000 of Jews. Freakin' idiots.

Sorry, that was uncalled for but this is why I could never consider Liu Chia-Liang a great director. Not because his kung fu choreography was sucky (far from that) but the stories he puts in most of his films suck. The whole consolidation process is just flat-out crappy. "Heroes Of The East" was the only film of his I could thoroughly acccept his "sharing the knowledge" shtick, but this is retarded, especially with this film, "Challenge of the Masters". I WANT DEATH and that is why Chang Cheh will always be better director than Liu Chia-Liang.

The movie itself is average at best with Liu's brilliant (not his best, however) kung fu choreography and so forth, but the amount of fights are the slightest bit lacking. The story is wretched and stupid and not worth assimilating unless you want a brain tumor. Everything else you’d expect from a Shaw Brother movie: all there. Whoopie-do.

Only recommended to Liu Chia-Liang nutcases, and I know there are a lot of you out there, but please, be sensible and logical; this film sucked donkey butt!

The story is direly inconsistent and contorted. All I got was that it's a movie about some guy in black attire who is on a quest to avenge his father against some faction called the Crippled Clan. "Mask Of Vengeance" lacks any interest value up until the point where the protagonist in black confronts the villains in masks 15 or so minutes before the end. Suddenly this film piques my interest with all these revelations, and as soon as the main antagonist is revealed, everything becomes so epic. Then the final fight ensues and the antagonist busts out an iron arm with a blade and the heroes get into a bloody and desperate battle and ends with a bang, literally. It was great! Retardation manifests credibility. Yeeesh! Can't really say that this film is worth acquiring for the last moments in this film because basically the first hour and 10 minutes is a nonsensical trip into boredom and torture.

The martial arts action is a bit clumsy, but overall good. It's mostly swords, but there are a few unusual weapons to be had here like some flute and the iron arm. Few of these people have only one arm so you'll be delighted to know there is some one-armed sword fighting--that is if you like that sort of thing.

I liked "Mask Of Vengeance" 'cause I like shitty things like this, but I can't recommend this film to anyone other than trash film lovers. It's indeed horrible (but not abysmal), with a stupid and incoherent story, slow pacing, fights that aren't really that great, and cheesy cinematography. Only the last moments of the film were excellent, but that doesn't help this film whatsoever.