Robo Vampire (product link) Horror / Comedy "Robo Vampire" is a low-budget movie about a robocop made of tinfoil, a gorilla-suit ghost, and some traditional Chinese vampires that hop around and blow smoke out their mouths and can be put to sleep with a laundry ticket on the forehead. It's fantastic in its awfulness.
Alive [SE 2-Disc Director's Cut] (product link) Science Fiction / Action/Adventure From the director of Versus comes this bland and bizarre sci-fi. It ultimately made little sense and culminated in a ridiculous Matrix-style battle.
Conceptually, there are some good ideas represented here... the execution is lacking. Interesting to watch, but I couldn't go so far as to call it good.
Flash Point (product link) Action/Adventure / Martial Arts Slightly below average martial arts actioneer from HK. On the heels of the fantastic SPL, Donnie Yen farts out this turd.
Sure, there are some pretty decent stunts and a couple of good fight scenes and they threw in some grappling styles you don't see too often in HK cinema. Overall, though, the story was lame and tired and there was zero substance at all--all the characters were so cliche that they didn't bother giving us any backstory because we have the rest of the movies ever made as reference material.
This movie is best watched on fast forward--like porn--through the talking bits and just go straight for the action and then drop it back off at the video store so you can forget it ever existed. Huge disappointment considering all the hype around this one. SPL is fantastic. See that instead.
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READER COMMENTS
AUTHOR
N
for a modern action thiller it delivers, but I understand your concerns there is a lot of folks that dislike this pic- I thought the last action scene saved this film.
The Great Yokai War [HK SE 2-Disc Set] (product link) Fantasy / Action/Adventure
Another children's "chosen one" tale. This adventure features some decent special effects as you may have come to expect from Miike. Miike is in a class of directors whose imaginations aren't supressed by the limitations of film or low budgets. This film is no exception.
This would normally be an anime instead of a live-action film, but it's accomplished here with style... the only problem is - it's a bit of a mess. It's also somewhat dull in spite of being a pretty wild ride. Similar to my problems with the Harry Potter movie, there are long scenes showcasing some effect that end up just being annoyingly long sequences where someone spends 20 minutes with a surprised look on their face.
The story here is pretty dumb and it really seems like a style over substance sort of affair... a little more humor would've been nice - especially since it's a Miike film. Rather disappointing overall, but entirely watchable and moderately entertaining.
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READER COMMENTS
AUTHOR
Y
Ha, you saw this too- what a crazy ride- I agree with your review.
Mr. Grudge occasionally makes movies other than Grudge (not often though, he's currently working on his 7th), and they aren't always very good... Here we have such a case...
The biggest problem is perhaps the most obvious one: budget. This movie clearly has lofty cinematic aspirations, but only a television bankroll. Some of the more elaborate scenes end up looking very "Land of the Lost"--in other words, cheesy. The Japanese have pretty active imaginations, so they don't always require things to look fantastic and their effects don't always have to be special.
This movie moves pretty slowly, trying to build tension, but the story is so absurd that it seems more like a fantasy than a horror film.
Basically, it's about a guy who is a complete social leper--he carries around a video camera and is obsessed with documenting everything and then reviewing it. He finds himself in some underworld where he finds a naked chick chained up. He takes her home like an adopted homeless cat and discovers she's a vampire--this doesn't bother him at all.
Eventually, of course, he discovers she requires blood to survive, so he starts feeding his stray naked kitty vampire lady on his own at first -then on other animals he finds or kills. Eventually he starts bringing her blood from the human animals he murders.
There's more to it than that, but I'm not going to give it completely away... It's an okay story--the execution just isn't there. They needed to put this in the hands of a more creative director or perhaps have given it a larger budget. Either way, it's just going to end up being okay. There's nothing really scary about it and all the gore is just red syrup and squishy noises--more laughable than horrific.
Sad Movie (product link) Drama / Romance They weren't kidding. The title gives it away, but even though you know it's coming, you'll still be reduced to a weeping heap. It's sad with no apologies. It's sad because you like the characters the entire way through the movie. It's sad because it's engineered that way. It was effective and I guess I liked it, but my only wish was that the ending had at least resolved every story told... I also thought one scene in particular was a little cheesey and forced (still effective though). See it with a box of Kleenex.
Naked Blood (product link) Horror / Thriller It's very slow in spite of being pretty short, at around an hour and 15 minutes. However, when it does 'pay off,' it pays off huge dividends. If you're looking for something to make you sick or wince or gag, the search is over.
This film features some boobs, buckets of blood, masochism and self-cannibalism. The director claims to be politically motivated and suggests his films are high art, but they can easily be seen as nothing more than shock cinema (or gore porn if you prefer).
Some of the effects in this film are surprisingly well done when you consider the obvious low-budget nature of this thing. Rick Baker would be impressed I'm sure.
Plus, how many other movies do you know of where someone eats their own vagina?
The Warlords (product link) Action/Adventure / War Pretty good dramatic war epic... Jet, Lau, and Kaneshiro are all really fantastic as 'brothers' who go from impoverished bandits and beggars to heroes as this historic tale unfolds. The film raises some serious moral questions that thankfully most of us would never have to answer. There is a bit of a romance element here which isn't quite fleshed out enough. The action is great though if you like sweeping epic battles like in Braveheart. Ultimately, it's really well put-together and can be added to the list of great period epic films from Asia. It's not full of impressive kung-fu fights as some might expect from Jet Li, but it's got some real gritty and brutal violence. This is more like a Saving Private Ryan than a Crouching Tiger.
This was one of the few remaining Jackie Chan films I hadn't yet seen, and after seeing an explosive and exciting trailer for it, I was foaming at the mouth wondering why I hadn't yet. Now that I've seen it, I kinda wish I hadn't.
The trailer promised action--more action than I could shake a chopstick at. This film didn't have any though. It was a long, boring police drama based on a true story (supposedly) of a high profile kidnapping in which Chan plays a relentless cop. It's dialog heavy and the acting is terrible.
On one hand, as a Jackie Chan film, it's easily among his worst, and I can't understand why people like it so much. I've come to expect over-the-top action, stunts and fighting with amazing set pieces from his films. This was a bit of a departure from his other films at the time as he played a darker and more serious realistic character. That doesn't mean it's good. He's played a darker character in other films where it totally works. Here it's just a waste of talent.
As a police drama, it fails as well because the story is cliched and dull. It's also mostly a failure as an action film--until the end, that is, where it earns that extra half a star.
I recommend watching this like a porn: just fast forward through all the talking and watch the action. Basically, skip the first 4/5ths of this movie until you get to the end--and even then, it's barely worth your time. The action and set-pieces scattered throughout were weak for the most part and nothing you haven't seen. It's not until the very end that we finally get to see some classic JC--it's pretty clear which scenes he directed.
Even when things were exploding everywhere and the story had reached its ultimate climax, I was catching myself drifting off and just thinking about how Jackie Chan's hair kept changing length throughout the film, as though they had to do a bunch of reshoots or else they shot it out of sequence. That's probably why it felt so uneven.
Ultimately I'd say skip it, but most people out there seem to think this is some quality genius work. I'm a Jackie Chan enthusiast, but his comedic energy isn't what was missing here--what was missing was a good movie. There's literally nothing worth seeing that they don't show in the trailer. I'd suggest picking up "New Police Story" for a better example of a darker side of Chan, or "Thunderbolt" for some of the most fantastic stunts in a Chan film ever (just try to ignore the actual car racing scenes) instead.
AGREE?
READER COMMENTS
AUTHOR
N
Excellent film, plot and acting. Just because something is different does not necessarily make it bad. I think you skipped way too much!
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