The movie centers on two schoolmates, Young (Jun Chong) and Tony (Phillip Rhee), who in order to pay for college, start running a security-for-hire business. Actually, it's not clear where the guys are attending school, since it clearly looks like a high school, but all of the actors involved would look too old even in a grad school program. Anyway, Young and Tony are good at their job, which eventually lands them a high-paying job for someone that turns out to be a drug dealer. Seizing an opportunity, Young takes the dealer's stash, and a group of tough hitmen (which includes martial arts champion Bill "Superfoot" Wallace) are soon on their trail.

During the whole running time, L.A. Street Fighters feels like it could have been an enjoyable slice of 1980's straight-to-video cheese. But the fact that this production apparently had $19.73 to work with ends up crippling it. You that's hyperbole? Well, it looks like they couldn't even afford a lighting rig, which might have not been a huge issue, except for the fact that most of the scenes are filmed at night. It got to the point where I was questioning the brightness setting on my TV, since for a good amount of the movie, you can literally not see what the hell's going on.

That's a shame, since L.A. Street Fighters has quite a packed cast, at least if you're a fan of 1980's cable and/or VHS action movie releases. Besides the aforementioned cast members, canny viewers will be able to spot other B-movie icons like James Lew and Loren Avendon. When you can actually see the fights, they're actually good stuff, with some solid and bloody action. However, unless you're a total cinematic masochist, it's really not worth it at all to sit through the absurdly bad exposition scenes to check out a few minutes of decent action. Sure, you can probably obtain a copy of L.A. Street Fighters for about 99 cents, but even that small amount can't counteract just how terrible the majority of this release is.

Our hero here is Jack Doh (Alexander Lo Rei), a smarmy chap who heads to Shanghai with big dreams, but empty pockets. As soon as he gets off of the boat, Jack gets into a fight with Charlie Wu (Charlema Hsu), who mistakes him for a rapist. Apparently, both guys find this hilarious, and they're soon the best of buds. Through a series of convoluted plot twists (believe me, this is the sort of release you do not want to pay too much attention to the actual plot, for fear of your head exploding ala Scanners) Jack and Charlie become the heads of the Shanghai triad, which attracts the attention of a ninja (Tong Lung) looking to make Shanghai his own territory. But the ninja doesn't decide to take out the upstarts himself, instead sending a group of four racial stereotypes... I mean hitmen... to do the job. My personal "favorite" is the wine-swilling, cigar-chewing, knife-throwing, greasy-haired, scar-faced Italian.

Going from his history as a protege of Chang Cheh and action director of several martial arts classics like The Five Deadly Venoms, director Robert Tai perhaps realized that the story of Mafia Vs. Ninja was total crap, and tried to redeem things by upping the fight quotient. Yes, there are plenty of fisticuffs thrown at the viewer here, but, frankly, for the most part, they're not made very well. There are a ton of obvious tricks used like undercranking and barely-hidden wirework. And don't get me started on the "special effects" used for the ninja trickery. Apparently, a pile of leaves pulled by a string is supposed to show that ninjas are tunneling through the ground. Ech. Your average 1980's Michael Dudikoff straight-to-VHS B-movie had cooler ninja antics than what's presented here.

If you're a die-hard fan of B-movie cheese, you might find something worthwhile here. Certainly, the atrocious English dub itself is worthy of a Mystery Science Theatre smackdown, especially if you find yourself stranded in a blizzard-locked cabin with a few of your fellow beer-swilling kung fu-watching buddies, and the only other DVD you have is disc one of season two of Sabrina The Teenage Witch -- and that one is scratched. However, your average joe reading this review off of a random Google search would probably be better off taking the 99 cents they might spend on this DVD and buying a gas station chili dog. Because, at least then, they would get some sort of tangible fufillment for consuming the sub-standard product.

Relative newcomer Marko Zaror (whose biggest role up to this point has been being Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson's stunt double in The Rundown) stars as Maco, a man who is haunted by the memories of a violent attack that he experienced as a child, which also left his parents dead and his younger brother in a mental ward. Maco tries to exorcise his demons by training incessantly, which turns him into a tremendous athlete, but leaves him living as a loner. During a late-night run, he comes across a robbery in progress, and saves the lovely reporter Carol (María Elena Swett). Sensing big ratings, Carol begins hyping her hero during newscasts, which leads Maco to turn into his alternate personality, Mirageman.

In many ways, the character of Mirageman has parallels with many classic superheroes, probably most pointedly Batman. But Maco doesn't have the resources Bruce Wayne does. He doesn't get information via a sophisticated bank of computers; he gets it from messages on his janky free e-mail account. And when Maco heads off to save people, he doesn't do it with a pimped-out vehicle -- he takes the bus. Mirageman takes this sort of thing into account, and uses a light touch for the first two acts, which really works, making Maco/Mirageman into a really enjoyable character.

Mirageman does take a more serious turn during the final act, which does feel a bit out of place. However, the action quotient also jumps up, and this goes a long way to making the viewer forgive the sudden change in the tone of the story. Martial arts films in South America are still a somewhat new territory, with director Ernesto Díaz Espinoza and Marko Zaror's previous film, Kiltro, being noted as one of the first "true" entries from the continent. But if Mirageman is any indication, Chile (and South America as a whole) holds a lot of potential for the fight fans out there.

The action scenes bring back a lot of memories of classic 1980's Hong Kong movies, with little in the way of wirework or other effects, and bone-crunching hits that look like they were barely pulled. Sure, Mirageman also shares some of the lesser elements of those productions, like an obvious low budget and acting that is suspect in parts, but there's also a lack of pretentiousness here. Most action junkies out there will probably agree that it's better to have a movie that doesn't have any money to work with, yet still delivers real excitement, is much better than a $100 million picture that looks nice, but feels hollow. Mirageman is a refreshing example of the former, and is well worth hunting down if you're in the mood for some good old-fashioned no-frills ass-kicking action.

Due to almost all of the local theatres being owned by foreign-based companies, the Australian film industry had been dormant for several decades until the 1960's, when the societal changes that were sweeping the western world encouraged film-makers (and audiences) to eschew American and European releases, and start exploring what it meant to be Australian via their cinematic output. After the installation of a movie rating system in 1971, which effectively killed Australia's notoriously strict government-sponsored censorship, there was a boon of releases, with many of them swinging to the realm of exploitation, or, as it is referred to here, Ozploitation. Sex and violence-laden entries like Alvin Purple and Turkey Shoot began to dominate Australian cinemas, much to the chagrin of critics, who regarded the Ozploitation films as trash. As evidenced by some of the interviews featured in this documentary, even many of the people involved in the making of these pictures would agree as to that assessment regarding the quality of their product.

But no one can deny that these films did well at the box office, and the profits let more "serious" directors to produce artier fare like Picnic at Hanging Rock. Combined with cross-over releases like Mad Max (an action picture which revolutionized how car chases were filmed) that performed strongly all over the world, the Australian movie industry soon found itself one of the top centers of movie-making. Soon, international productions were making their way to Australia, including several from Hong Kong, such as The Man From Hong Kong, which is regarded as one of Jimmy Wang Yu's best releases -- though, as per quotes given by people like the film's director Brian Trenchard-Smith, it was a miracle the movie was even completed due to Wang Yu and the crew not getting along with each other, to the point that fists were almost thrown on the set.

Even if you're not a film history buff and/or normally find documentaries to be deadly boring, it is still well worth your time to seek out Not Quite Hollywood, if just to check out the myriad of clips presented. This film definitely earns its' R rating, whith no small amount of nudity and gore tossed out during the running time. Fans of extreme cinema are going to go boffo for the small gems presented here, and will clog up their Netflix queue in order to see the full movies. Not Quite Hollywood might not be a good documentary in the true sense of the genre, since director Mark Hartley clearly wears the love he has for these films on his sleeve. But that enthusiasm passes on to the audience, and that feeling makes Not Quite Hollywood one of the better ways you can spend 100 minutes of your time.

The Great Pretenders' plot relies heavily on twists and double-crosses, so the description here will be brief. Bascially, Wong Seung Chin (Raymond Wong) is Hong Kong's top con man. Along with his proteges, Leung (Tony Leung Chiu-Wai), Yip (Amy Yip), and Yam (Simon Yam), Wong fleeces Hong Kong's top criminals, and then gives the money to charity. After Wong and his team swindle the loanshark Lung (Leung Tin), they are confronted with their toughest test yet in the form of Mr. Giant (Teddy Robin Kwan).

Raymond Wong's script certainly does not employ sublety to get its' point across. Viewers can be forgiven if some of the intended humor not only falls flat, but generates groans. Most notably, Simon Yam mincing it up as a "queenie" homosexual is virtually guaranteed to offend a lot of people out there, instead of producing the intended laughter. But Wong's admittedly pedestrian approach to the story affords us lots of jokes about Amy Yip's big boobs, which of course leads her to appearing in various skimpy and tight-fitting outfits. Now that's what I call production value.

All kidding aside, The Great Pretenders does come off at times like it's shamelessly pandering to the audience, trying to cram as many jokes into the running time, hoping at least some of them stick. Despite this, there is a sort of dopey charm to the proceedings which begins to come out as the movie progresses that allows the viewer to just switch off their brains, relax, and enjoy the antics. The Great Pretenders certainly isn't an example of great cinema from Hong Kong, but it is good enough to set aside ninety minutes of your life for, especially if you're a fan of the actors involved.

Taking a well-traveled road, None But the Brave's story has Cheng playing Siu Ying, a revolutionary who poses as the sister of Captain Lui (Au Wai), who is building allegiances with the encroaching Japanese, who are led by Sano (essayed by the popular Japanese star Shishido Jo). Siu's ruse works at first, and she gains valuable intelligence, which she passes on to the leader of the resistance, Yang Kang (James Tien). But after her true identity is discovered, Ying must battle a growing number of both Chinese and Japanese foes in order to help the rebellion and save herself.

There is some fun to be had here, especially for well-heeled old-school vets. Despite the low budget of the production, a virtual "who's who" of talent that would become linchpins in the kung fu explosion of the mid-1970's are featured here (albeit in small doses for the most part) including a young Jackie Chan in one of his first speaking roles. And besides Cheng, the other main actors put in some solid work, especially Au Wai, who manages to create a very three-dimensional character -- someone that you might feel conflicted about rooting against until he reveals how truly dirty his motives are. Unfortunately, Lo Wei taints the acting side of things by placing himself in the movie with a fairly meaty role as a local commander.

As hammy as Lo's acting is, at least there is some passion behind it, which sadly cannot be said for his directorial style. If one was going to look up how to film a kung fu movie by the playbook, this is a crystal clear example of Hong Kong's "factory system" style in motion. Perhaps Lo was under monetary constraints, but the better directors will find a way to make even the cheapest of budgets work, and honestly, Lo Wei is in no way one of Hong Kong's better directors. But despite its' problems, None But the Brave still ends up playing out as a fairly entertaining old-school picture that fans of girl-fu might enjoy if they're not too picky.

Taking place in 2046, Kungfu Cyborg centers on K-1 (Alex Fong Lik-Sun), a cyborg sent to a village to assist Xu Dachun (Hu Jun) in cleaning up local cases. K-1 is so effecient that Xu is thrown to the side, and along with a growing romance between the robot and Sumei (Betty Sun Li), Xu begins to try and stop K-1. But after a renegade cyborg named K-88 (Wu Jing) begins wreaking havoc, the two rivals must join forces.

Science fiction in Chinese cinema is still a rarity, so I'll be a bit forgiving when it comes to the overall lower quality of the special effects, or even somewhat jarring facts that apparently this is a world where cybernetics have been fully realized, but people are still talking with cell phones that look they came from 2002, and communicate with each other via text-based IM clients. The action scenes are decent enough that the viewer can forgive at least some of the fluff which surrounds them.

However, they are not nearly good enough to truly forgive all of the cinematic faux paus present here, most notably the absolutely awful acting. Even Alex Fong, who is playing a robot -- a goddamn ROBOT, people -- overacts. I never thought I would be pining for the salad days of Ekin Cheng trying to emote while sitting in front of a greenscreen in Hot War.

Anyway, there's also just way too many elements thrown into the mix. Even in the schizophrenic world of Hong Kong movies, you really can't expect your audience who just got their eyes and ears melted by a special effects ejaculation to take a romantic scene seriously, especially when the dialogue is delivered with all the sincerity of a Billy Mays infomercial. Actually, watching Billy Mays schill Oxi Clean would probably be more entertaining than sitting through this over-long and over-blown mess. At least you would get some genuine laughs and enjoyment, unlike this production, which more often than not, just conjures up boredom or spite.

The plot here is your usual Wong Jing "kitchen sink" affair, with a boatload of sub-plots revolving around Koo's character Royal Dog, which include, but are not limited to, Dog marrying his sweetheart Faithfull (Barbie Hsu) despite her parents' objection, Dog trying to stop an evil eunuch (Fan Siu-Wong) from killing the emperor, Dog helping his buddy in getting the hand of the princess, and Dog trying to look, sound, and act like Stephen Chow without actually being Stephen Chow.

On His Majesty's Secret Service runs the usual Wong Jing playbook all the way to the end zone. There's lots of toilet humor, some eye candy from babes, a bit of action thrown in, and a feeling that Wong really doesn't give a whit about the proceedings as long as he's getting paid. Wong Jing is a divisive film-maker; certainly capable of producing some of the best Hong Kong cinema has to offer, but more often than not, simply making movies just to get some beer and ramen noodle cash. If you're not a Wong Jing fan, or Hong Kong comedies as a whole, On His Majesty's Secret Service is going to do nothing to change your perception.

On the other hand, if -- as with this reviewer -- you've developed a taste over the years for Wong's brand of film-making, you'll find at least a few things to like here. The cast is paced with a few ringers, like Sandra Ng and Leung Kar-Yan, who add a lot of whimsy to the proceedings. Even when the jokes fly over your head due to them being based on Cantonese puns, or simply fall flat due to them not being very funny, the cast seems to be having a good time, and that feeling is transferred onto the viewer. In no way could On His Majesty's Secret Service be considered a great film, but it does provide ninety minutes of disposable entertainment, which, considering the state of mainstream Hong Kong film-making these days, could be considered a victory, albeit a small one.

Offering an animated take on a familiar plot, Kung Fu Panda stars Jack Black as Po, a panda bear who dreams of being a great warrior while being stuck working in his father's noodle shop. In usual cartoon oddity, Po's dad (voiced by cult movie favorite James Hong) is actually a duck. How the hell did that work out? Well, anyway, Po ends up being seen as "the chosen" one by the powerful Shifu (Dustin Hoffman), which is good because Po ends up receiving training that turns him into a dangerous fighter, and bad because now he must face the evil Tai Lung (Deadwood's Ian McShane), Shifu's former pupil who is now bent for revenge.

Kung Fu Panda's story isn't exactly original, and the animation isn't really anything to write home about, either. It's not bad per se, it's just more that it lacks the style and charm of many other recent animated features such as 9. But the voice acting does help to elevate matters. Like his voice-over work as roadie Eddie Riggs in the video game Brutal Legend, Jack Black showcases a reserve here that is usually absent (for better or worse) from his live-action performances. This helps to make Po into a well-rounded and likeable persona instead of a catchphrase-spouting "dude with 'tude" a lot of modern cartoon characters end up turning into.

Combined with solid work from the other actors (which also include Angelina Jolie, Lucy Liu, Seth Rogen, and David Cross) and a good dose of action, Kung Fu Panda ends up being a fairly fun movie if you're not too picky. Plus, if you're looking to shut your kids up... oops, I mean keep them entertained... on a rainy day, this is one of those DVDs you can pop in and not have to worry about pulling your hair out after hearing that damn schmaltzy syrupy ballad on your average Disney release for the hundredth time. And, hey, maybe through this movie, you can get those little ones hooked on the "real" kung fu movies that gave Kung Fu Panda its' inspiration.

In the movie, Sammo plays Wong, who is the leader of a village because he can wield the Dragon Head Blade. As he is preparing a wedding banquet, the food is poisoned, and he is banished from the village. At the same time, a young chef named Lung (Vanness Wu) graduates from culinary school, and heads out to find a master chef to apprentice under. The men end up meeting at a restaurant run by Shen (Cherrie Ying), and decide to work there. Wong and Lung's new dishes draw a lot of attention from both patrons and rival chefs, one of whom, Joe (Fan Siu-Wong) makes it his mission to shut them down. Eventually, the conflict comes down to a face-off at a televised cooking competition.

At this point in his career, one has to wonder exactly why Sammo continues to appear in these sorts of productions. Is he a workaholic? Is he not getting along with his wife? Did the cost of ramen noodles suddenly shoot up? If a person is into conspiracy theories, they could note that, perhaps not coincidentally, many of these zero-budget films Sammo as of late has been in also feature his son, Timmy. Whatever the reason, I would hope that Sammo starts taking more care in choosing his roles. The man who starred in classics like Pedicab Driver doesn't need to end his career on notes like this.

To its' credit, Kung Fu Chefs is certainly better than some of Sammo's recent clunkers like Osaka Wrestling Restaurant and Legend of the Dragon, offering up some decent -- but ultimately extremely bland and forgettable -- viewing material. There's some good action (but not nearly enough) and the whole "food as sport" subgenre is still interesting to watch, but at the end of the day, adding material like this to Sammo's filmography is ultimately not going to do him any good. This reviewer (and I would feel also most Sammo fans) would rather have him do fewer roles and have them be on the level on something like SPL, rather than constantly pumping out glaringly average efforts like this.

Triangle revolves around a trio of friends: Lee (Simon Yam), Fai (Louis Koo), and Mok (Sun Hong-Lei). They regularly get together at a local watering hole to try and drown away their financial sorrows. After one drinking session, they meet a mysterious man, who gives them a tip on a treasure buried under a government building. The friends do find the treasure, but their attempts to sell it are thwarted by the cops, Triads, and the growing tension and distrust between each other.

Taking an unconventional track to creating a film, the three directors each created a segment of the movie (each roughly a half hour long) without knowing what the other two were doing. Tsui Hark starts the picture out, and his part is full of manic energy and sudden blasts of ultra-violence. Ringo Lam is up next, and his act turns the film into more of a psychological cat-and-mouse thriller. Finally, Johnnie To finishes off, and brings his trademark quirkiness into the mix, adding in more comedic elements, and even a dance sequence. Even though the three directors' styles are quite different, they're blended together quite effectively, and Triangle ends up being a very fun movie to watch, especially when combined with the solid performances from the lead actors.

Triangle isn't without its' problems. The unique film-making technique does leave in some continuity errors, so die-hard nit-pickers might find themselves having to reach for the Excedrin. Also, the story does throw in a few too many twists in, seemingly just for the sake of throwing them in. There's also a lack of development for many of the film's minor characters, which makes their appearances seem a bit hollow in the end. But, overall, Triangle is a fun, exciting, and breezy crime picture that should satisfy fans of the genre, and Hong Kong cinema as a whole.

The movie kicks off with a ridiculous sequence where "Bruce Lee" (whose gravestone was apparently bought at the same 99 cent store where you can get this DVD) being brought back to life via a lightning strike -- displayed, of course, via grainy stock footage. Apparently, zombie Bruce goes off to play pai gow poker, since we never see him again. The star here is Bruce K.L. Lea (real name Jun Chong) playing a guy named Wong, who heads to Los Angeles to meet up with one of the guys he used to run a school with. His former partner turns out to be dead, and Wong now has a series of racial stereotypes after him. Dragging a semi-cute and ditzy sidekick along for the ride, Wong sets out to find the "shocking" truth about who killed his friend.

The sidekick is played Debby Tebora, credited here as Deborah Chaplin -- I guess no one involved with this crud wanted their names attached. In fact, it was actually rumored at one point that the film was helmed by Italian horror director Umberto Lenzi. Nope, it's actually Doo-Yong Lee, a Korean director who surprisingly had a fairly respectable career in Asia before and since this cinematic turd. The same cannot be said for the rest of the cast and crew, many of which have this as their sole credit on IMDB. Maybe they were all buddies of Doo-Yong's who got drunk on soju, wrote the script on cocktail napkins, borrowed someone's super-8 camera, and set about to make the worst Brucepolitation flick ever. At least that's what the end results make it seem like.

Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave is the sort of movie that's fun for about the first ten minutes while you quaff a beer and make fun of its' shortcomings. But then, after the first terrible attempt at putting a fight scene on-screen hits your eyeballs like an acid wash, the stark realization hits you that you have eighty more minutes of this garbage to sit through, and no amount of liquor will be able to numb the pain. Even the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 troupe, who have made a career out of making trash like Manos: The Hands of Fate at least somewhat enjoyable, would be hard-pressed to wring any sort of enjoyment out of this failed production. From start to finish, Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave is simply one of the worst movies this reviewer has ever had the displeasure of sitting through. Do your brain (and sanity) a favor and don't waste your time or money with this cinematic turd.

Ma Man-Ngai plays Cheng, a popular hostess who attracts the attention of a group of new customers led by the dashing Lin (Wong Yuen-San). After a night of wining and dining, Lin gets spooked by a group of cops and takes off. It turns out he and his buddies are actually bank robbers, and Lin begins to use Cheng as a messenger to communicate with the other members of the gang so that he can find out where their cache of stolen diamonds is hidden. Cheng does end up finding the diamonds, but now she most contend with a Triad gang who is also after the loot.

When you boil everything down, there's really nothing all that extraordinary about The Hellfire Angel. There's the standard large "chopper" fights and the usual twists and turns in the plot. Most viewers will be able to see where the film is going and its' end result long before it actually gets there. But it still manages to provide some good entertainment. Director Lam Kwok-Cheung creates a nice look to the proceedings, which should come as no surprise given his extensive background as a cinematographer. Lam also manages to get solid (if a bit over the top) performances from his actors, particularly Ma Man-Ngai, who provides quite the opposite effect for most female roles in Hong Kong cinema, which tend to give the "jade vase" effect -- pretty to look at, but empty.

The supporting cast also turns in some notable work, particularly Ma Chung Tak, who plays a fighting taxi driver who helps out Cheng when the going gets tough. There's also a wry sense of humor, such as having one of the characters, a very skinny member of the gang, named Hung Kam Bo, which is Sammo's Chinese name (Sammo and Lam Kwok-Cheung worked together on several projects in the early 1970's). Overall, The Hellfire Angel isn't anything all that special, but it accomplishes what it sets out to do in a fine enough fashion, and is worth setting aside ninety minutes of your night aside for if you're into retro Hong Kong crime dramas.

Helmed by Ng See-Yuen, one of the first film-makers to cross the bridge between Hong Kong and Hollywood, The Man, The Myth has a bit of a bigger budget than most Bruceploitation movies, which isn't saying much, since it still looks very cheap. But at least here, the budget allows for the hiring of real actors and the inclusion of actual location shooting, instead of the usual M.O. for these types of pictures of filming a production with a couple of your drinking buddies in someone's backyard. Also, even though the movie was obviously released to capitalize on the notoriety of Bruce Lee's name after his untimely death, there's a sense of true love and respect for Lee's work, brought forth in scenes like one where he explains the philosophy of jeet kune do to his students.

That being said, it's ultimately pretty tough to take The Man, The Myth as a serious look into the life of Bruce Lee when the viewer is presented with cinematic fibs like the aforementioned Mafia fight. Another particularly silly montage shows Bruce training by punching the hell out of an Cold War-era IBM behemoth supercomputer that tells him that his strikes are making the mark by producing Price of Right-esque flashing lights and sound effects.

At this point in time, it's hard to say if The Man, The Myth could actually find an audience, or even if there is one left for this type of release. It's not as thorough or truthful as some later Bruce Lee biographies, so die-hard Bruce fans will most likely be annoyed or outright disgusted by the proceedings. And for those looking for a hunk of Bruceploitation cheese like Bruce Lee Fights Back from the Grave, the more serious tone taken here kind of takes the wind out of the sails from the possible Mystery Science Theatre treatment you might be wanting to give it. At its' core, Bruce Lee: The Man, The Myth is ultimately a surprisingly decent, but not great, movie that big Bruce Lee fans might want to check out, just for the curiosity factor, if nothing else.

Normally, picking up possible movies to review for this site via bargain bins is an exercise in futility. Once in a great while, you might stumble upon a gem, but more often than not, you're getting what you paid for. And in this case, the $1.50 your friendly neighborhood webmaster plunked down for this disc might have been more than a bit generous considering the amount of entertainment it generated. That same amount of cash could have bought a cheap beer during happy hour, and even if you've ingested more than your fair share of hoppy beverages, you'd be hard-pressed to eke out an iota of true enjoyment from a screening of this clunker.

From the start, you know you're in for a rough ride, as we're "treated" to some hammy narration, where some guy (apparently hiding in a public toilet somewhere due to the amount of slapback and echo) gives some half-ass "facts" about Chinese history that are going to end up making you even more confused. Basically, the emperor is bad, and his top general (Lo Lieh) is even worse, going so far as to slaughter the family of one of the emperor's main advisors. A rebel (Pai Ying) saves one of the advisor's kids, who, of course, is an annoying brat, but also happens to have a secret message for the leader of the rebels. Grabbing a baby cart from his brother, Pai heads off to find the rebel leader, fighting a motley crew of villains along the way.

The plot, while simple, would be serviceable enough if the film-makers didn't feel the need to adopt a very confusing style that depends way too much on flashbacks. There's also too many characters thrown into the mix, which makes the story feel that much more muddled. The action holds some glimmers of hope at points, mostly due to the various unique weapons featured, but most of the fights are over far too fast to create any real stimulation or interest. Ultimately, Thousand Mile Escort is just yet another poorly-made and forgettable old-school flick that deserves to stay in the bargain bin.

Those of you familiar with Godfrey Ho's work know that putting together any sort of coherent plot description for his movies is nigh-impossible, due to the fact that his films are almost always a mish-mash of two or more seperate productions. Ninja in the Killing Fields seems to actually be one of Ho's few movies that is made up of original footage, but that doesn't mean it makes any more sense. Bascially, there's a group of drug-dealing ninjas (led by Louis Roth) in Thailand, so a super-cop (Ho mainstay Stuart Smith) is sent over to take care of the problem.

But things aren't all that simple. Perhaps so he could get more footage for future releases, Ho introduces a plethora of subplots, each featuring a new set of actors, such as my personal favorite, one about a coke-bottle glasses wearing former ninja on the run from the clan. All this sort of stuff is mashed together with all the subtlety of Carrot Top after a bender into a headache-inducing mix guaranteed to make you reach for the fast-forward button quicker than you can say "ninja magic" -- which, in this movie's case, apparently includes the ability for dead ninjas to turn into toads.

Things might have been a little better if the movie was edited with any sense of continuity at all. For instance, in one scene, Stuart fights off a ninja that is hanging on his car. After the ninja is thrown off, he shoots an explosive arrow, blowing up the car. Literally seconds after the car is shown in flames, we see Stuart running around the jungle (his shirt seems to have been lost in the explosion) and then getting into a fight with an angry gardener. Those sorts of "what the hell?" moments will manage to generate a few chuckles, but it's not enough to warrant setting aside ninety minutes of your life to actually sit through this bottom of the barrel dreck.

If you were ever wondering what Jonathan Ke Quan did after Temple of Doom and Goonies, well, here you go. Data here plays Charlie, a kid adopted by Vietnam veteran Michael, played by former kickboxing champion Jerry Trimble. Does anyone think it's strange or perhaps in bad taste that a Vietnam vet would name his Vietnamese son Charlie? Anyway, Charlie and his brother Tony (Eddie Saavedra) are competitive in the world of martial arts, which skills come in handy when their uncle, David (Ed Neil), comes stumbling to their house towing along a girl named Jenny (Jacqueline Pulliam) whose father has been killed by a group of dastardly bank robbers, who are after a fake piece of pizza that holds the key to getting their stash.

Yeah, you read that right. A fake piece of pizza. Alfred Hitchcock always stated that whatever the "mcguffin" (the plot object/element which drives a story, i.e., the briefcase in Pulp Fiction) actually was didn't actually matter, but then again, they didn't have pizza replicas back in the 1940's. Anyway, it turns out that Michael is actually the head of the bank robbers -- before any nerds scream "spoiler alert", this is revealed in the first five minutes -- and so he sends his gang (which includes Bolo in a total "beer money" small role, despite his top billing) to kill Jenny and get the mysterious plastic pizza slice.

Since he apparently doesn't care about his children, Michael is willing to let them go in order to get to the loot. This leads to Charlie and Tony doing the mandatory montage (which, of course, is accompanied by the time-appropriate hair-metal cock-rock) while they train with David, who despite being a drunken cripple who knows more about how to handle a bottle of Jack Daniels than a sword, teaches them a "deadly" form of kung fu. Well, it's not deadly really, as this seems to be one of the most sedate R-rated films you'll come across. There's no blood, no swearing harsher than "ass", and nary a boob to be found. Perhaps the ratings board gave Breathing Fire a R to try and protect the little ones out there from not seeing Bolo in drag. Seriously, who thought that was a good idea? Ish.

Despite whatever is wrong with Breathing Fire -- and, believe me, there's a whole hell of a lot to take issue with here -- it ends up being a fairly fun brainless romp. Don't get me wrong -- in no way, shape, or form, could this be considered a great movie, or even a good one. But it does (at least for this reviewer) bring back some warm fuzzy memories, where Saturday afternoons were your own, and spending ninety minutes of it watching something like this picture wouldn't be considered a total waste of time. And, hey, where else are you going to see Short Round getting into a brawl with midgets?

The Japanese actor in question here is Sessue Hayakawa, who is going under the name of Chen Lee here. Hayakawa/Lee plays Chin Ho, a Chinese man who travels to Texas in the late 1800's with dreams of becoming a cowboy. As you might expect, the local rednecks don't cotton to the "chinaman", and so Chin must beat down the racists with his fists of fury. This attracts the attention of a land baron named Spencer, who sees Chin as a threat to his lucrative trade of selling Mexicans into indentured slavery. On the run with a huge price on his head, Chin must try to stay one step ahead of Spencer while at the same time freeing the captive Mexicans.

Many Asian film-makers were quite influenced by the classic US western films and directors, probably most notably John Ford's oeuvre. This becomes clear with releases like Yojimbo, which itself became a linchpin for Italian directors like Sergio Leone, who did his own tribute to the film with Fistful of Dollars. Despite this fairly straight-forward lineage, for the most part, Asian characters in these movies (when they were present) were often regulated to small supporting roles, with productions like this one, where an Asian character is the lead, being notable exceptions.

The end result, at least here, is surprisingly fun. Sure, when you boil things down, the whole "Asian in the Old West" thing is just a gimmick that films before and since have tried to pull off and failed. But it works here, mostly because Chin Ho actually ends up becoming a fairly well-rounded and developed character. Chen Lee isn't the greatest actor, but he manages to infuse Chin Ho with things like a sense of humor and compassion, which goes a long way into making the viewer develop some interest for what happens to him. Combined with strong supporting work from other members of the cast, including the deliciously over-the-top Klaus Kinski, and action scenes that have more than their fair share of severed limbs, My Name is Shanghai Joe is definitely worth watching, especially if you want to check out a different take on the martial arts genre.

In this umpteenth "homage" to The Big Boss, Pai Piao plays Tai Lin, a country bumpkin who travels to the Phillipines with hopes of becoming a success like his brother, who brags that everything in Manila is made of gold. Of course, Tai finds this is not the case, and soon finds himself working as a coolie on the docks. After finding out his bosses are smuggling opium, Tai joins up with a group of disgruntled workers (including Ron Van Clief) to bring them to justice.

There's really not much to recommend with Tough Guy. Some of the brawls are okay, but there's not nearly enough action, and the level of fisticuffs contained in the fight sequences aren't nearly enough to forgive the god-awful borefest that are the exposition scenes. A major reason the story-specific moments don't work here is the character of Tai Lin. The guy isn't just a bumpkin; he's a blithering idiot. For instance, after he arrives in Manila, Tai becomes the victim of a pickpocket and scam artist that ends up gambling away Tai's last few dollars. Tai befriends the guy because his mom told him to be nice to everyone -- guess mommy is a bit of a dingbat as well.

Also, for Ron Van Clief fans wanting to check out "the black dragon" in action, you're going to be disappointed, since he's in the movie barely enough to be considered a supporting actor. Obviously, low-budget producer Serafim Karalexis (best known for various Bruceploitation films like The Real Bruce Lee) was trying to get back some of his investment by enticing African-American audiences (traditionally one of the biggest markets for martial arts movies) into seeing this. The ploy didn't work, as the movie bombed on both sides of the ocean, and quickly faded into obscurity of Z-movie hell, where, frankly, it deserves to stay.

The story is your basic "revenge via way of kung fu" stuff favored by films of this type. Gordon Liu plays Lao Chung, whose parents were killed by Wong Kin Chung (Eagle Han Ying), a jealous student who wanted to take over their school. Left for dead, Lao Chung trains in the wilderness with a sifu that teaches him drunken boxing for years, until he is ready to take retribution for his mother and father.

There isn't much to differentiate this film for dozens and dozens of similar ones. It spends way too much time in the exposition scenes, most of which are just awfully boring, because honestly, the viewer ends up not really giving a rip about the story since it is so generic. Shaolin Drunken Monk is also an incredibly cheap production. The movie is over-run with gaffes like visible wires during stunts, and apparently, the producers couldn't even afford a Bic, since Gordon Liu's trademark shaved head can't seem to stay the same length from scene to scene.

But Shaolin Drunken Monk is saved by its' fight scenes. Helmed by Gordon Liu's half-brother, Liu Chia-Liang (Lau Kar-Leung), there's a nice mix of styles and weapons presented here, and Gordon and the other actors pull off the moves well. The fights aren't so good as to elevate the movie much above the realm of the average, but they do up the quotient enough that it's worth checking this out if you're a tried-and-true old-school fan.

In the movie, Jackie plays Yi, a student at the Shaolin temple who is always getting into trouble with his teachers because of his laziness. On enight while he is supposed to be on guard duty, Yi falls asleep, which allows someone to steal the manual for the deadly "Seven Fists" technique. The Seven Fists can only be stopped by another style called the "Five Fists", the manual for which is thought to be lost. But, one night in the temple, a group of five ghosts appear, and lo and behold, each of them is a represenative of one of the fist styles. Yi begins to learn the Five Fists and then sets off to stop the evil clan member who has been going around the countryside killing people with the Seven Fists.

Spiritual Kung Fu's main problem is that it has the pacing of a turtle on qaaludes. It takes forever to get the story going, with most of the running time vastly dominated by the sort of extremely lame attempts at comedy many Hong Kong productions seemed to favor at the time. The jokes aren't as sophisticated as your average Hanna-Barbara cartoon and the laughter quotient soon falls into negative territory. And any attempts liven things up with the ghost story elements are taken out of the equation by the horrid special effects and especially the costumes worn by the ghosts. I've see junior high school plays held at the local VFW with better production values.

Things do pick up during the final act, where Jackie is allowed to stretch his cinematic legs a big by directing the action scenes. The fisticuffs help to keep the viewer interested, but they're missing the inventiveness and kinetic energy that marks Jackie's better work. They certainly can't make the viewer forget about the crap-fest which proceeded them. Seriously, who the hell thought neon red wigs, white spandex suits, and sparkly skirts would create a menacing ghost? If you're a Jackie Chan completist, you might still want to track this down, especially since you can find it sitting on the top of any random 99 cent DVD bargain bin. Most others out there, though, will just want to leave the DVD in that bin.

The serial killings are initially discovered via a tray of teeth left in the middle of a frozen lake, and things only get stranger after that. Combining S&M suspension apparatus and Biblical symbolism, the choosing of targets by the murderer seems to be totally random. Furthermore, Breslin is thrown a curve ball when Kristen (the daughter of one of the victims) hands over a fetus in a ziploc bag and confesses to being one of the "horsemen", a group of people dedicated to bringing about the apocalypse. With the clock ticking until the next victim is slaughtered, Breslin must try to find out the identities of the other horsemen before it's too late.

Former music video director Jonas Akerlund makes his feature debut with this film, and at first, it looks like he's well up to making the transition. As could be expected from a former video director, Horsemen is very stylish and looks great. More importantly, Akerlund gets good performances out of his leads. Of course, solid work is par for the course for a veteran like Dennis Quaid, but most fans will probably be surprised with Zhang Ziyi's work here. In one of her few English-language roles, she creates a suitably creepy character that only disappoints because she isn't involved in the movie nearly enough.

And that brings up Horsemen's big problem. There's never really any explanation as to why Kristen, and the horsemen as a whole, are doing the things they're doing. Well, okay, actually there is one given near the end, but it's so weak and transparent -- nearly insulting to the viewer -- that it comes off as really no explanation at all. And that's a shame, because for the majority of its' running time, Horsemen has the makings of a very solid thriller in the vein of Seven. But when such a janky finale is seemingly casually tossed as an aside to the viewer, it derails the proceeding scenes, and no matter how good they were, it can't save the movie for coming off as just another shlocky suspense picture with a cheap twist ending tacked on to try to make the movie seem more important than it is.

The movie revolves around a cop named Woo (Park Joong-Hoon) pursuing Chang Sungmin (Ahn Sung-Kee), a murder suspect. Unlike a lot of film detectives that use their wits or street smarts, Woo is pretty much a brute that literally beats information out of criminals. Shoving friends and family aside for the sake of his job, Woo's only connection to the real world is his level-headed partner, Kim (Jang Dong-Kun). But after Kim is hurt in the line of duty, nothing is left holding back Woo's determination to catch Chang at any cost.

It is admirable what Lee Myung-Se tried to do here. At this point in time in Asian movies, many of them were simply cookie-cutter clones of popular genres of the period, like "young Triad" movies or sappy romantic comedies. Blending elements from other directors like Wong Kar-Wai, Johnnie To, and Quentin Tarantino, backed by a soundtrack that features everything from Korean heavy metal to 1970's US pop, there's no denying that Nowhere to Hide is aurally and visually stimulating, and that it provided a much-needed shot in the arm for Asian genre pictures.

However, at least in the humble opinion of this reviewer, the film has not aged very well. What came off as original and ground-breaking at the time of release now simply seems trite and more than a bit gimmicky. When you strip off the audio and visual trappings, there's not much, if anything to the actual story that will really compel viewers. Ahn Sung-Kee puts forth a bulldog of a performance with Woo, but ultimately, it's pretty much a one-note, one-dimensional character. Like the film as a whole, Ahn's work initially hits the viewer with a punch, but can't follow through with anything else of substance to become truly compelling.

The movie starts with two kung fu masters, Lui (Lo Lieh) and Hsiao (Ting Wa-Chung), having a duel. Lui is defeated in the battle, but still manages to convince Hsiao to take care of his son, Tu (Chan Sing), and to go after a Manchu rebel named Tien (Hwang Jang-Lee). Due to his code of honor, Hsiao agrees and takes Tu under his wing. Though Tu takes every opportunity at first to try and get revenge for his father, eventually he and Hsiao become reluctant partners and band together to take out Tien.

A major factor as to why Hero of the Wild becomes something other than just another run of the mill chop-socky picture is the chemistry between the leads. Even though the circumstances that draw them together are a bit incredulous, Ting Wa-Chung and Chan Sing create a believable relationship that makes the viewer actually become interested in the story, instead of just wanting to fast-forward to the next fight scene. When you do get to the fight scenes here, the emotional investment put into the exposition makes the payoff of fisticuffs bring all that much more impact.

There are still plenty of faults to be found with Hero of the Wild, namely its' obvious low budget, sloppiness at points in the realms of filming and editing, a bit of poor pacing, and some ill-advised and clumsy attempts at comedy. But overall, if you're a fan of the classic fists of fury style that's not too picky about what's presented on-screen, Hero of the Wild is a solid movie that will provide you with a night of good old-fashioned entertainment.

The friendships are put to the test as the investigation begins to uncover some secrets not related to the case, most of them revolving around a former hooker (Cynthia Khan, in a rare "glammed-up" role) with ties to the police department.

The movie moves along well, propelled by some smart performances and a good deal of action. Sting of the Scorpion's nothing near the top of the heap, but it is a lot better than many of the cheap action movies that were being pumped out around this time. However, the picture literally falls a bit short.

If you're wondering why this review isn't that long, it's really because I didn't have much to work with. Running at a scant 67 minutes, the characters in Sting of the Scorpion never feel fully fleshed out, and as such, the viewer never fully develops a bond with them.

Also, the resolution comes too quickly. Hong Kong films are known for their quick wrap-ups, but Sting of the Scorpion's comes so quick, you just have to wonder if the film-makers just really couldn't think of anything else, or couldn't even afford to tack on another action scene or two.

Still, what's here is fairly entertaining stuff, and worth a look if you're into the cop action/drama genre. There are certainly a lot worse movies (like pretty much anything done by Godfrey Ho) that you could spend your time with.

Sting of the Scorpion isn't anything great, but even your average throwaway generic Hong Kong action movie is better than many Hollywood attempts at the genre. If you're not in a fussy mood and just want to check out some decent brainless action, this'll probably do the trick.

In the movie, Donnie plays your usual hot-headed cop. He's determined to get justice at any cost after the death of his wife. Donnie's tactics end up generating bad press for the Hong Kong police department, so his superiors send him off to the Philippines to bring back a criminal. After he gets there, Donnie is paired up with a straight-shooter (Edu Manzano) who, of course, doesn't get along with him. After the criminal is assassinated, the mismatched duo must team up to bring down a local crime lord (Roy Cheung).

Asian Cop: High Voltage follows the cheap action playbook to a tee, right down to a plucky sidekick that gets killed, and an awkward romance with the crime lord's girlfriend (Lily Lee). Combined with the sub-par acting (in either the Chinese or English-dubbed versions, it's pretty awful), a generic cock-rawk soundtrack that was probably stolen out of the 99 cent bin of Sam Goody, and camerawork that makes it seem like the film-makers couldn't afford a lighting rig, one might be forgiven if maybe they would just give up on the picture completely after about fifteen minutes in.

If you're a more patient and/or tolerant viewer willing to put up with some (well, okay, a lot) of cheese for the sake of watching people getting the crap beaten out of them, then you'll probably find more of value with Asian Cop: High Voltage. The awkward exposition aside, the film does throw a lot of action at you, and most of it is pretty solid. Unfortunately, like many of Donnie Yen's early attempts at action direction, there's too much emphasis on camera trickery versus focusing on the actual action. But, at the end of the day, this is a perfectly serviceable cheap action flick that'll make for good watching with some buddies and a few frosty adult beverages.

The movie kicks off with a professor (Chung Faat) and his two fumbling sidekicks coming across a family of vampires, who are being held at bay by Taoist talismen placed on their heads. The professor gets the bright idea to try and sell the vampires, but they get away after the talismen fall off their heads. The kid ends up being "adopted" by a pair of talkative chunky kids, and the parents going on to raise havoc on the streets of Hong Kong, with Taoist priest Lam Ching-Ying and his assistant Yuen Biao in hot pursuit.

On one hand, viewers might appreciate that the film-makers tried to do something different with the vampire genre, with the modern setting and more of an emphasis on family-friendly antics versus horror. The problem is that these different takes simply do not work. There was obviously a very low budget at work here, and as such, the modern setting is not used very well at all. One might get images of vampires rampaging around Hong Kong, but there's only one scene featuring that sort of the action, with most of the movie taking place in a couple of averagely boring indoor locations.

And as for the plot element involving the kid? Initially, it is a bit cute, but it goes on for far too long, going so far as to dominate the first half of the movie. By the time a musical montage (complete with sickly-sweet song seemingly ripped from a Cantonese version of a Kidz Bop album) played on the screen, it took all this reviewer's willpower to not hit the stop button and permanently end the misery.

The over-emphasis on what really should have just been a short sub-plot ends up making the actors look short-shrifted, Yuen Biao in particular. Did he piss off Sammo Hung enough to make him think it would be a good idea to make one of the movie's central action scenes take place in fake slow motion via a fight done under the influence of sedative? Again, it's a neat idea at first, but it is stretched out for far too long, and loses the viewer in the process.

There are a few bright spots present here. Some of the comedy actually works, such as a series of jokes about the fact that Lam Chin-Ying's character is named Lam Ching-Ying, and he starts listing off previous vampire movies as qualifications for him to be a vampire buster. Also, there are elements that focus on the vampire buster that are pretty fun. But it comes off as too little, too late to save the film as a whole. It's a testament to the popularity of the actors and the genre that several more Mr. Vampire movies were made after this -- but Part 2 is really just for completists only.

Based loosely on the real events in the 1970's that led to the creation of the Hong Kong police force's version of internal affairs, the Independent Commission Against Corruption or ICAC, which not coincidentally also forms the acronym for the film's English title, the movie tells the story of Gale (Eason Chan), a cop that has risen to a high rank, not because of his police work, but willingness to do favors for his superiors Lak (Tony Leung Ka-Fai) and Gold (Wong Jing), most notably taking care of their mistresses.

The British government is growing tired of the rampant corruption in the police force, and so they put straight-shooter Yim (Bowie Lam) in charge of the ICAC. Yim starts going after Lak and Gold, but his group of young recruits aren't up to the task until disgraced undercover officer Unicorn (Anthony Wong) joins the team and teaches them some over-the-top, but effective, tactics. As ICAC's net draws nearer, Gale starts having a crisis of conscience as he must decide whether to keep serving Lak, or come clean.

Wong Jing's scripts usually employ a blitzkrieg style, throwing everything into the mix, including the kitchen sink. The effect is usually hit or miss, much to the chagrin of many Hong Kong movie fans. Here, Wong takes a much more linear and subtle approach, and it works. There's no ultra-violence, no shoehorned comedy, no gratuitous sex scenes, and no plot twists thrown in for the sake of doing so.

Sure, ultimately, the story isn't mind-blowing in any way, but the basic plot centering on an older period in time makes a nice change from the "pretty young cops and Triads" style many Hong Kong film-makers seem to favor, and the lean and mean storytelling was quite refreshing in this day and age, when far too many pictures from all over the world come off as far too over-long and over-blown for their (and the audience's) own good.

Wong's "velvet gauntlet" approach also comes through in the realm of direction. He gets a lot of very solid performances from his leads, without having to resort to the melodrama that has derailed far too many Hong Kong productions, both past and present. Tony Leung Ka-Fai, one of the more under-rated actors in Hong Kong, in particular delivers a great take, Anthony Wong does a fine job as the down-trodden Unicorn, and even Wong Jing himself comes off pretty well, in what might otherwise be construed as a vanity role.

I Corrupt All Cops does end up feeling a little empty and incomplete. It perhaps might have been better if more time was given to the consequences to the characters' actions. But, overall, this is a very solid crime drama that will fit the bill if you're looking to check out one of Hong Kong's better recent takes on the genre.

At one point, many of the cast and crew on this film were attached to Five Element Ninjas, but after a falling-out with the Shaw Brothers studio, actor/director Philip Kwok left the fold and headed to Taiwan, where after being aided by funding from producer Wu Duen, he was able to secure the talent for this picture. The plot is dead simple, basically boiling down to the usual Chinese versus Japanese motif favored in many old-school features, and by Kwok's own admission via an interview with Eastern Heroes magazine, he wasn't very comfortable being in charge of an entire production, leading to to some leaden takes during the exposition scenes.

But when it comes to the action, Ninja in the Deadly Trap delivers the goods in spades. Philip Kwok has long been one of the best action directors working in Hong Kong, including being a vital part of classics like Hard Boiled, and it's obvious here he relished a chance to shine in that department after being under the fairly regimented system of the Shaw Brothers. The action scenes have a unique and intoxicating mix of various weapon forms and bare-handed techniques, and if you're any sort of martial arts fan at all, you'll have a ball watching them.

Unfortunately, Ninja in the Deadly Trap seems to be one of those films that -- at least at this point in time -- that you can only find in somewhat suspect cropped and dubbed versions presented in dubious audio/video quality. But even with the underwhelming presentation the various DVDs floating out there will give you, if you're a fan of old-school shenanigans, it's still well worth checking Ninja in the Deadly Trap out. Simply put, it's a no-muss, no-fuss throwback to the days of yore when fists of fury, rather than frosted tips and syrupy romantic subplots, were the stuff of which action movies were made. If you're into stuff like high-velocity blows that rip off limbs, you'll be in for a fun ride with this one.

Angry Tiger, at least in its' Spirits of Bruce Lee form, has been in the public domain realm for some time now, and is widely available for viewing on a number of streaming video websites. But even if you're not paying anything to watch this, getting any sort of enjoyment from this picture is an exercise in futility, except perhaps for a few chuckles with your buddies after having a few adult beverages. But even that might be a hopeless venture, as the movie's terrible pacing and lack of compelling action send Angry Tiger straight to the depths of B-movie hell.

If you're actually still interested in this film, and want to know more about it, basically, Michael Chan plays a man who heads to Thailand to investigate the disappearance of his brother. It turns out he was killed by a local crime lord who wanted to steal the large piece of jade he was carrying. Now out for revenge, Michael teams up with a Chinese family running a tea shop, each member fufilling a chop-socky stereotype: pops dispenses pearls of wisdom, the overweight (and possibly retarded) son provides the (extremely lame) comic relief, and the daughter comes on board to play out a very awkward romantic subplot. After picking up the mandatory sidekick in the form of an undercover cop, Michael heads to the crime boss' compound for the final confrontation.

Michael Chan is a favorite actor of mine, which is why this movie is getting a higher rating than it probably deserves, but he's totally under-used here. The fight scenes are, for the most part, simply awful, with most of Michael's opponents being generic slow-moving Thai guys who go down with one or two hits, ala the shemps peppering the initial level of any random beat-em-up video game like Double Dragon. The director does try to shake things up a bit during the finale, by adding in a dude with a whip and a pair of samurais, but by then it's clearly too little, too late to save Angry Tiger from being anything more than just yet another terribly nondescript and poorly-made old-school kung fu movie.

Over the years, Jackie Chan has dabbled in being a dramatic actor in films such as Crime Story, Heart of Dragon, and New Police Story. For all intents and purposes, Shinjuku Incident can be considered his first full dramatic role, and it's in a Category III gangster picture, no less. The movie generated a bit of controversy before it was release, since the violent content and moral ambiguity of the characters caused it to be banned in Mainland China, something which has been unheard of from a Jackie Chan production.

After the gimmick of seeing Jackie doing stuff like chopping off people's hands disappears, we're thankfully left with a pretty solid crime movie. The plot isn't anything really all that original -- the movie telegraphs all of the upcoming twists in the story fairly clearly. And as far as Category III movies go, the violence quotient is actually surprisingly low, excepting a couple of the aforementioned limb severings. Though we do get the "treat" of seeing Jackie's naked rear end as he goes into a bath-house, and then he later gets involved in a very brief sex scene (with thankfully no sightings of "little Jackie" to be had).

What really sells the movie are the performances, even if Jackie Chan is the weakest link in that department. He's not bad per se, and, in fact, in some scenes, he's quite good. But, overall, Chan's acting chops just aren't up to the level of the material. It might also be a case of someone who has made a career out of comedic kung fu, as well as trying to promote himself as a positive role model off-screen, trying to portray someone who is more than a bit cold-blooded and willing to commit all sorts of crimes. After watching Jackie in the same sort of roles for decades, it's somewhat hard to take the sudden shift in character without at least a little grain of salt.

The other actors do fare better, though. Daniel Wu's work isn't as strong as some of his other outings with director Derek Yee (such as One Nite in Mongkok) but he does manage to create a sympathetic character with Jin, even under some fairly silly Joker-esque makeup he adopts later in the picture. The majority of the rest of the cast is filled with strong veterans like Lam Suet and Paul Chun Pui, who give the appropriate bit of gravitas to the proceedings. Like many Hong Kong productions, the female roles have a bit of a throwaway feel, but Xu Jing-Lei and Fan Bing-Bing (who plays Jackie's girlfriend) do well with what they have to work with.

It's really no secret that Jackie Chan is in the twilight of his career, at least as a leading man. But at least Shinjuku Incident shows that he is willing to roll with the punches (so to speak) and adapt himself to working in a different direction. Unlike the increasingly-woeful Rush Hour movies, which are a cash cow for Chan, but offer little in the way of "true" film-making -- much less any real excitement for the audience -- pictures like this show that Jackie Chan still has a bit of spirit left, and isn't willing to take the easy way out to coast into retirement aboard the cinematic equivalent of a Little Rascal scooter.

Despite Chan's top billing on many versions of the film, he only has a small role onscreen. Sporting butterfly collars, bell-bottoms, and a huge fake hairy mole on his face, Chan plays a henchman to a drug runner (Chiang Nan) who is being pursued by a female police officer named Ho (Yuen Qiu). But, actually, most of the movie centers on Chin Chen (played by Taiwanese "weepie" favorite Charlie Chin), a cab driver who is pulled into the fold when Ho's sister leaves a mysterious purse in his taxi before dying. Yes, it's all very compelling stuff, and with the leaden weight of the dubbing, the story is delivered with all the subtlety of a kick to the groin.

There is really nothing of value to the potential viewer here. Die-hard Jackie Chan completists might think it might be worth checking this out to see one of his rare villainous roles. Really, though, Chan's screen time is so slim that his factor in the movie's plot development becomes almost null. This was one of Chan's first cracks at being an action director, but, it's not really worth sitting through the dreck that are the exposition scenes in this movie to see a few minutes worth of semi-decent fighting.

Overall, Police Woman is just simply the sort of movie that gives old-school kung fu flicks a bad name. It looks cheap, the acting is poor, the fights really aren't anything special, and, most damningly, the film is just boring as hell to slog through. Even with Chan's name attached to this project, being able to actually sit through this picture in one sitting -- much less actually enjoying it and thinking you just made good use of your time by dedicating eighty minutes of your life to watching this -- is a bit of a Herculean task that only the more masochistic viewers out there will be able to pull off.

The story is about a secret government organization called the Division, who uses techniques pioneered by the Nazis to create psychic soldiers. Some of the Division's test subjects try to leave the project; one of these is Nick (Chris Evans), whose escape takes him to Hong Kong, where he ekes out a living hustling street gamblers with his ability to move objects with the power of his mind. After a mysterious girl named Cassie who can see the future (Dakota Fanning) visits Nick, he finds himself thrust into the middle of a battle for the possesion of a super-serum that produces almost an unstoppable boost in psychic power.

Push's story is certainly interesing enough to produce a decent sci-fi/action film, and it does succeed in some aspects. When the movie focuses on the psychic battles, it's pretty fun stuff. But the exposition scenes are simply painful to sit through. If you can get past Dakota Fanning's bratty screeching, you'll still have to deal with Chris Evans' deadwood channeling of Keanu Reeves. Even if the acting was passable, there are so many ridiculous plot twists thrown in near the end -- dealing with the ability of certain psychics to implant false memories into other people -- that most people will end up not really giving a rip about what happens to any of the characters.

Though it is nice seeing a large international production using Hong Kong (and some of its' local cast and crew) for something other than a martial arts movie, ultimately any sort of enjoyment the viewer might experience from the "eye candy" via the special effects is shunted aside from a conclusion that tires too hard for its' own good. Like director Paul McGuigan's previous film, Lucky Number Slevin, there's too many flavors thrown into the cinematic stew, and the viewer is left with a bad taste in their mouth at the end as a result.

The basic plot has Hong Kong policewoman Yeung (Cynthia Khan) being teamed up with Taiwanese (Waise Lee) and Mainland (Do Siu-Chun) officers to take down a gunrunning ring led by Robin Shou. There are a few attempts at seriousness, mostly dealing with the (then pending) handover of Hong Kong to China, and how the three territories will be able to co-exist with each other. But, like many Hong Kong action films from this period, any sort of gravity in the story is ditched in favor of flippant comedy, none of which really works.

Ranging from the usual lame stereotypes (the Mainland officer is a bumpkin that can't even operate a microwave) to downright head-slapping brain-insulting stuff (the treatment of gay characters will probably make may people cringe) the comedic scenes are the sort of stuff that give Hong Kong movies a bad name among some viewers. Thankfully, the action sequences redeem the proceedings, even though there's nothing extraordinarily good about the brawls and gunfights showcased here, especially compared to the myriad of classics produced in Hong Kong during the time.

But seeing the ultra-cute Cynthia Khan delivering spinning kicks to the melon of some poor schmoe while wearing a fabulously short and tight skirt is one of those small joys of cinema that Hong Kong film-makers seem to be the kings of, and they deliver that sort of stuff in spades here. Maybe it's because I've been feeling wistful about the seeming death of the whole female-oriented action genre after witnessing recent cinematic holes of suck like The Legend of Chun Li and my standards have gone down, but I ended up having a pretty damn good time with Forbidden Arsenal, and I suspect most of you regular readers of this site out there -- all twelve of you -- will too.

In the movie, Aaron plays a rookie cop named Hui, who manages to capture one of the suspects from a brazen armored car robbery. On the way into the station, the robbery gang's leader, Han (Elvis Tsui), kills Hui's prisoner. Under pressure from the chief, Hui's captain teams him up with Ma (Leung Kar-Yan) and Liu (Lau Ching-Wan), whose petty squabbles disguise the fact that they are two of the top cops in Hong Kong. Along with the spunky Li (Ngai Suet), the group begins to make headway in their investigation -- but things become more complicated when Hui falls for Han's girlfriend, Min (Fennie Yuen).

The Shootout's big problem is that it doesn't seem to know exactly what kind of movie it wants to be. Does it want to be a funny mis-matched buddy cop film? A kleenex-inducing weepie? A serious heroic bloodshed picture? The Shootout attempts to be all of these things, and more, and fails to truly deliver on any of the tangents presented. Cinematic schizophrenia is to be expected in Hong Kong movies, and under the right director, the blitzkrieg style can work well. But Michael Mak isn't that type of director.

His output has been average at best, with his more solid efforts being more concentrated pictures like Long Arm of the Law III. When given a script that has infulences from a multitude of genres and being expected to juggle them effectively, Mak usually falters -- and The Shootout is another example of that. During its' running time, one wishes that Mak had kept the focus on a singular style instead of throwing everything at the viewer and hoping something sticks. In particular, the Leung Kar-Yan and Lau Ching-Wan dynamic seems to work very well, and probably would have have a satisfying enough movie on its' own, as obviously derivative of Lethal Weapon as it might have been.

Even with as many mis-fires of the celluoid variety as The Shootout has, it does get some things done right. Some of the comedy actually creates laughs, particularly the bits involving Leung Kar-Yan (who plays a schlubby semi-pervert) and Aaron Kwok doing a stakeout inside of a seedy brothel. And, like always, Elvis Tsui seems to relish playing a villain, giving his character enough panache to be effectively menacing without going into the realm of cariacture. There's also a couple of solid action sequences, courtesy of producer Jackie Chan's stunt team. Though this is by no means a "great" movie, or really even a "good" one, if you're a fan of low-budget Hong Kong action movies from the 80's and 90's and have already seen the major entries in the genre, The Shootout is worth checking out.

Held in an unspecified time and place, Death Trance centers on a coffin that will supposedly grant anyone's wish. The coffin is stolen from a monestary by a warrior looking for the ultimate battle, and so the monks send a young acolyte to retrieve it. As the story progresses, it starts becoming clear that the tales about the coffin actually containing the Goddess of Destruction just might be true.

At points, Death Trance's story frankly doesn't make a lick of sense -- characters seem to come and go at a whim, and their motivations are really never fully explained. But Shimomura keeps things moving fast enough that one doesn't really feel the need to concentrate on the shortcomings in the story, and the actors -- especially Kentaro Seagal (Steven's son) in his movie debut -- look like they had fun making the movie, and that feeling transfers on to the viewer.

There's also a good amount of action to keep the movie rolling along. It might not be as violent or hard-hitting as some viewers might like, but the frantic style fits the film's mise-en-scene just fine. Overall, Death Trance definitely does have a bit of cheese factor, but since it never really seems to take itself too seriously, the viewer can forgive the over-the-top nature and enjoy the proceedings.

The story takes place in ancient China, where various kingdoms are vying for control of the country. Kelly Chen plays Feier, who has been made the leader of the Yan people after the death of her father. Taking orders from a woman doesn't set well with some of the Yan, who hatch an assassination plot. Poisoned and left for death, Feier is brought back to life by Duan (Leon Lai), a doctor who is hiding a mysterious past. Feier and Duan being to fall in love, but Feier realizes she must return to her people, and so she teams with her childhood sweetheart, Muyong (Donnie Yen), to take out the Yan's internal and external enemies.

There's nothing wrong per se with the plot itself, but An Empress and the Warriors suffers from bad pacing. After a fairly exciting first act, things nearly grind to a halt during the second, which almost solely concentrates on the growing relationship between Feier and Duan. Now, there's nothing wrong with characterization in a film like this, and it is admirable that the film-makers were trying to do something a bit different with the historical epic, which seems to be the favored genre of both Hong Kong and Chinese productions as of late. But while both Kelly Chen and Leon Lai seem to be really trying, the onscreen results simply come off as hammy and cheesy -- something you want in a sandwich, not in a movie.

Thankfully, things do bounce back during the final act, which features some outstanding action work from Ching Siu-Tung. The battle scenes aren't as good as some recent entries like Red Cliff, but they're exciting enough that you might just be able to forgive the clunkiness of the expostion that preceeded them. At the end of the day, despite its' problems, An Empress and the Warriors still should satsify fans of Chinese historical epic pictures -- it just might leave them more than bit disappointed, though, especially given the pedigree of the people involved in the production.

Jackie plays the usual ne'er-do-well he usually went for in his old school movies; this time out, he's a student named Lung (Dragon) whose school is thrown into disarray when their top pupil, Tiger (Wai Pak), throws an important lion dance. Disgraced, Tiger takes to a life of crime, and so Lung sets off to bring him back to the school. But since both Tiger and Lung use a fan, Lung is taken into custody by the local police chief (Shek Kin) and his son (Yuen Biao), who thinks Lung is the one that helped break out a dangerous criminal, Kam (Whang In-Shik). Lung manages to convince the chief to let him and Tiger go, as long as he can capture Kam.

Even though the story is pretty simple, it does take a while to get things going -- one could only imagine how must of a trudge Chan's original three hour cut must have been, if the just-too-goofy comedic scenes (complete with cartoon sound effects) present in the released cut are any indication. As groan-inducing as some of the jokes are, the stuff here's thankfully not all that bad, and Jackie seems to have realized that he had to throw in a lot of action scenes.

Finally free of Lo Wei's desires (who wanted to make Chan into the next Bruce Lee), Jackie is able to fully create fights in his own style, though it was by no small accident -- reports have Chan doing some takes hundreds of times to get things just right. While the end results aren't quite near the pinnacles of Chan's career, they're still good stuff, especially his brawls with his "little brother" Yuen Biao. Taken as a whole, The Young Master might not look like too much. But it is one of those films that ends up being more than the sum of its' parts, and it still remains one of the best entries from the final period of "true" old-school kung fu cinema.

In the film, To Tai-Wai plays Bee, a young man living under the shadow of his brother Fifteen (Anthony Wong), a popular and powerful local Triad. After Fifteen is sent to prison, Bee decides to join up with Fire (Wayne Lai), to help support his ailing mother (Helena Law Lan) and impress Fifteen's girlfriend, Sandy (Yoyo Mung). Bee quickly becomes one of the biggest Triads in the area, which becomes a real problem after Fifteen is released from prison and Fire wants him permanently taken out of the picture.

Hong Kong History X's plot isn't anything special, so Kenneth Lau tries to differentiate the movie from the dozens of similar ones that came out around the same time by going for a down and dirty feel. It initially works a bit, but things start going downhill quickly when it becomes apparent that To Tai-Wai simply cannot carry the movie. Perhaps sensing this, Lau starts throwing seemingly every Triad movie cliche into the mix in order to prop up To's listless performance. By the time a Cantopop ballad plays over a slow-motion montage, I was just about ready to check out of the movie completely.

Veering towards the realm of cinematic ineptitude, Hong Kong History X is saved from becoming total dreck via the work of the veteran actors. In particular, Wayne Lai is quite good as the smarmy cigarette-chomping hothead Fire. And even though, as per usual for this genre, the female actors don't have much to work with, at least they provide some nice eye candy. Though it is certainly flawed, and ultimately doesn't bring anything new to the table, if you're a fan of Triad dramas and have already gone through the more well-known entries, Hong Kong History X can make for some decent viewing if you're not too picky.

As the title suggests, the film takes place in 1881, when the discovery of valuable minerals in Malaysia leads to an exodus of Chinese people looking to make a decent life for themselves via the rough-and-tumble lives of miners. The movie revolves around four young orphans, who have been taken in by the kindly foreman. Things seem to be going fine for the men, until the mine's boss decides to align with gangsters, and "liquidates" the personnel so that cheaper labor can be brought in. Seeking revenge, the four "brothers" decide to enter a tournament so that they can get control of the mine.

The plot is admittedly by-the-books. Supposedly, the story was going to be more in-depth, but the film-makers had to drastically cut things down in order to satisfy foreign distributors. At any rate, director CL Hor went a little too over the top to give the workman plot a little more flavor than your run of the mill kung fu flick.

When a movie starts out with a sequence where characters named "Blaze" and "Ace" are introduced via a montage backed by nu-metal rapcore, it gets really hard to take it seriously. And then, when any sword slash or bone-crunching hit is accompanied by spurts of very obviously (and badly) animated blood, a movie might teeter off to fully going over the edge of ridiculousness.

What ultimately saves Kinta 1881 from going into that cinematic abyss is the gusto of the film's stars and the solid action direction of Chin Kar-Lok. It's not quite enough to totally elevate the movie into being an actual "good" movie, but if you're a fan of non-wire or computer-based martial arts, Kinta 1881 does just enough right so that a viewing of the picture won't come off as a total waste of your time.