Agreement:58% of 60 voters agree with City On Fire's reviews Gender: Male Location: Las Vegas, NV Web Site:http://www.cityonfire.com Lists:WISH LIST (6)
Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure ALTERNATE SYNOPSIS:
Jackie Chan plays the part of Jiang, an orphan who is neither good in the literary nor the martial arts. Nevertheless, he's a happy-go-lucky fellow with an amiable personality. Saintly beggar Mao, who was a Kung Fu Master, is impressed by Jiang's earnest demeanor and takes Jiang as a student. Jiang joins the Sern Chuan Bodyguards, who have been entrusted with the task of escorting the priceless Evergreen Jade to safekeeping. Outnumbered by an army of ruthless highwaymen, the Sern Chuan sustain heavy losses during their long and grueling journey. Undaunted, Jiang refuses to admit defeat, and with only the spirit of Mao to guide him, singlehandedly defeats the enemy horde.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Yep Yep Yep. Probably one of Chan's worst film's. But hey, it's not really one of Chan's films because he's in about thirty minutes of this piece of f**kin' sh*t. What the f**k were the director/producers smoking when they made this!!!!!!!!!!??????????? I don't even know what the hell this was about because one minute the character's are fighting NAZI's and the next minute ghosts $&!@*^!@? Oh what the f**k am I doing writing a review about a film that sucks f**kin' sh*t. To put it bluntly I'd rather have a monajatwa with Hilary and Chelsey f**kin' Clinton than to watch this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Drunken Master (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure A sequel (sort of) to Snake in the Eagle's Shadow. A breakthrough film for him. He single-handedly brought in the "Drunken Boxing Craze" in the seventies in Asia. Many so called martial arts experts at that time hissed at this unorthodox and questionable account of Wong Fei Hong. Essentially, this film is a total rehash of the aforementioned Snake in the Eagle's Shadow with better-looking kung fu technique. While not exactly an original story, it was wildly successful in Asia and made Jackie Chan a household name among movie goers in Asia.
Drunken Master (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure PLOT:
Jackie Chan plays Wong Fei Hong (a decade before Jet Li). In this movie, Wong Fei Hong screws around so much that he can't learn his father's kung-fu style properly. After various defeats, he is sent to become the pupil of a "drunken style" kung fu master who turns out to be a short, sadistic beggar, who teaches him the "drunken style" of kung-fu. Wong Fei Hong later uses what he has learned to defeat many various villains.
Snake In The Eagle's Shadow (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure PLOT:
Chien-fu (Jackie) is an orphan whose job consists of scrubbing the floors for a martial arts school, and standing in as the occasional practice dummy. After he befriends a kindly old martial arts master, he gets a chance to save the man's life (the old guy's stabbed by a Russian kung-fu Catholic priest!). This begins Chien-fu's martial arts training in the Shake Fist, which can only be beaten by the Eagle's Claw, which is exactly why villains are out to challenge and vanquish the old man and extinguish his style.
The Warrior From Shaolin [PanMedia] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure SYNOPSIS:
In the days of the Sino-Japanese war, Shaolin monk Tien Fa (Gordon Liu) finds himself entrusted by a dying resistance fighter with a map showing the positions of the Japanese forces. Picking up two con men (Eric Tsang and Lau Kar Yung) on his journey to Dragon Town, Tien Fa comes into martial conflict with the sheriff Wang Tan Tung (Lau Kar Wing) and his lethal lady Fa Yin (Lily Li) before he is able to reach his destination with the precious information.
The One Armed Boxer (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure ALTERNATE SYNOPSIS:
The loss of a limb leaves Wang Yu a blackened soul and an iron fist of vengeance. He faces fighters from all over the world - Tibetan lamas, a mystical Yoga master and ultimately a karate man who chops limbs away with his bare hands. Classic in every verse, this epic production is utterly exhilirating, with carnage aplenty. The One Armed Boxer becomes a one-man demolition squad, extinguishing the array of evil laid out before him.
Gen-Y Cops is great for the OPPOSITE of the reasons that the original was great for. While the first was a great action-entertainment flick, it's sequel is just as good as it's like those hilariously bad B-movies. It's painfully funny to hear Chinese cops and computer geeks to say "Whaz up ma dog?" or "You ma bro, man!". Edison Chen is from Canada so he has the accent, meaning that he sounds like an unconvincing fake Canadian ghetto boy. Richard Sun is just HILARIOUS as the twisted geek trying to steal a robot he designed, although I fail to see how he would have had the time to design one if he was as doped-up as he sounds.
While the acting is pathetic to the point of comedy, the intentionally funny moments are great and it's just as enjoyable as the first. I like the look of Maggie Q as much as I like that of Jaymee Ong too, so go out there and download the photos...er, I mean see this movie now, if you liked the first.
TEQUILA'S RATING: 9/10 as a fun film, 2/10 as a FILM.
Project A [1983] (product link) Martial Arts / Comedy
Project A is the first Jackie Chan movie to feature him in a semi-modern world; an action movie, not just a kung fu flick. Although the film has many exciting fight scenes, it's also the first Jackie Chan film to showcase his stunts (different angles, slow motions... almost like a documentary). His fall from the face of the clock tower through two awning to land on the ground is legendary. The chase scene in which he rides a bicycle through the narrow Hong Kong back alleys demonstrates his acrobatic skill at its finest. Of course, one must not forget the other characters in the movie: the ever so chunky Sammo Hung (who currently directed Jackie's "Mr. Nice Guy" last year) and very acrobatic Yuen Biao (remember him in "Once Upon a Time in China"?). The chemistry between the three of them is as always spectacular. Very entertaining movie, although at times confusing mainly due to the poor subtitles and the video quality (If you understand Cantonese, the former probably is not a problem for you). If you were lucky enough to have seen this film letterboxed or in theater, I'm very jealous of you.
He Has Nothing But Kung Fu [DOUBLE FEATURE] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure SYNOPSIS:
This kung fu extravaganza, directed by the legendary Liu Chia Yung and starring Liu Chia Fai and Wang Yue from the Shaw Brothers films, has been hailed as one of the best kung fu films of all time. After fierce battle with the local hoodlums, Hoi is thrown over an embankment and left for dead. However, Hoi survives the ordeal but has lost all of his memory. His fateful meeting with a beggar leads to their teaming up as "Kung fu's deadly duo"! He Has Nothing But Kung Fu has nothing but mind-boggling kung fu fighting!
Island Of Fire (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure PLOT:
A cop-killer is blown to pieces. A fingerprint identifies the suspect as a criminal who had been supposedly executed two years before. To follow up this clue, Officer Huang Wei goes undercover as a convict in the same prison where the mystery assassin served his sentence. In the corrupt and violent world behind bars Huang becomes involved in more than he planned when he is driven to kill a crooked official. He is convicted of murder and sentenced to death, but just before his execution, he is made an offer by a prison guard: join a secret group of 'dead' assassins and have a chance to live.
The Heroes [Tai Seng] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure SYNOPSIS:
The Ching Dynasty has invaded China and the study of kung fu is banned. Go Fei was a once loyal Shaolin student who became a Ching official who has the Shaolin temple burned and many students in prison. The escaped students plot for revenge. However, Go Fei (played by Ti Lung) is actually a patriot who posed as a Ching traitor and secretly training Shaolin prisoners.
Fist Of Anger (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Once a friend and I were watching an old James Bond film with lousy acting, stupid gags, and a really stupid plot. Every five minutes he would shout out "THIS JAMES BOND SUCKS!" Six months later I got my hands on this film, and watched it with my friend. His reaction was exactly the same- "THIS JACKIE CHAN SUCKS!" Other comments included "They were learning how to use fake blood in this one" and "stupid". I really can't explain it, all I know is that this film fails to entertain on any level. There's no comedy, the acting was a tragedy, and the fighting scenes were all pathetic, usually consisting of one guy pounding on another guy's chest once and watching him die. There was one cool camera trick where a solid object looked liquid when it was out of focus. That was the only entertaining clip in the entire film.
Fist Of Anger (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I was at my video store seeing which Chan movie I should buy now. I see "Fist of Anger", I figured it was a documentary because it said "Plus an interview of Jackie Chan and go behind the scenes to Mr. Nice Guy." So I bought the movie. I watched it, and there is a movie, not a Doc, so I look on the back and it says "AKA: In Eagle Shadow Fist" So I said to myself, "oh well I'll just fast foward to the behind the scenes and the interview", so I fast foward through the whole movie and there is nothing about any behind the scenes or interviews!!! The only high light of the film is when that guy sticks his hand in the other guys eyes!!!!
DANIEL'S RATING: 0.5/10 (a 1/2 point for the eye part!)
You know, I always thought that the word "shit" meant excrements coming out of your ass. After watching this film, I finally found out the true meaning of this word. Jackie only makes a 15 minute supporting character role, which really sucks hairy dick!! This movie is so crappy that it is beyond comprehension. It is so crappy that it makes "The Protector" look Oscar worthy. It is so crappy that I would rather spend my time getting together with all the guest reviewers on this page and take turns sandwiching Monica Lewinsky and Linda Tripp. Heck, I wouldn't mind having the president join in, just as long as I'm not watching this film! It is so crappy that I would rather spend time drinking lighter fluid and stick a match up my ass to see what the effect was! It is so crappy that I would rather go to a Hanson concert, hop on stage, and beat the living crap out of those fags (I might just do that anyway), then spend the next couple of years imprisoned in an LA county jail with a cellmate named Bertha than watch this film. When Jeff mentioned that you should snap this tape appart before putting it in the VCR, he was not kidding!! Stay away from this film! A good use for the tape besides being a paperweight is that it makes a good flaming douche bag filler upper. In case that you haven't got the message, stay away from the film, believe me, you'd rather stick your nose up a horse's ass than watch a film like this. You could trust me on this one. (I know, I'm doing a cheap and very lame Numskull imitation, but it's alot of fun though)
VICTOR NGUYEN'S RATING: Just take 0/10, subtract it by the first 10 digit number that comes to your head, and divide it by 2 (This is only because that eye part at the end was cool, but good luck sitting through it til the end)
Fist Of Anger (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure This movie may have had the best ending of any movie ever made but I don't know because I have didn't finished it. I got the need to slit my wrists to ease the torture of sitting through this piece of shit about ten minutes in. Jackie is only a supporting character and he gets killed half-way through the movie. Jackie was probbably pleading with the director to just kill him already so he could do something more constructive like piss off the triads.
This is one of the films that I have listed as one of Jackie's worst movies. The reasons that I don't like this movie are quite obvious. JACKIE DIES! You will not believe how angry I was when Jackie died in the middle of the film. I felt like whooping the manager of the Blockbuster by my house's ass. Another thing I hate about this film is the plot, which is the usual "Fist of Fury/ I hate Japs" deal.
After watching it a second time, I tried to ingnore Jackie dying and consentrated on the film itself, but it still didn't help. The fights are terrible, especially the finale. The chinese renegade and the japanese fighter fight through a mountain, a plain, a jungle, a pond, and finally back to the mountain where the chinese guy sticks his fingers in the japanese's eyes and then throws him down the mountain.
Don't go through the horror that I have been through, please don't rent this movie.
CODY'S RATING: 0/10 "Jackie, what are you doing?" "Killing Japs!"
Fist Of Anger (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure A stupid '70s movie about actors in China who go up against the Japanese during WWII This film has it all: bad dubbing, grainy filmstock, mediocre fight scenes, and an incredibly lame plot. A young Jackie Chan, wearing a buzz cut, dies about halfway through the movie and I just about died too. In fact, after he died, I didn't watch this movie any further. I wish Mike and the 'bots from "Mystery Science Theater 3000" were around to make fun of this awful film.
Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure This movie sucks. It is not funny and I've tried watching it time and time again. It's a shame to see Jackie in such a spice-less movie. The comedy is dry and the action is horrible. This movie is not up to par with the rest of Jackie's classics such as "Fantasy Mission Force" and "Spiritual Kung Fu". Sorry Jackie.
Half A Loaf Of Kung Fu (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Jackie Chan talks highly of this film which I found really poor, both in its storytelling, comedy, and the occasional fight scenes. Perhaps this film was meant more as an experiment in Kung Fu comedy which led to better things for Chan, but as a stand alone movie, it's pathetic.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure This movie is pure crap!! I wont even bother with the story because I just wanted to express my feelings on how much crap this movie is. Compared to the other films Jackie has made over the years, this movie is a pile of trash. I cant believe I paid $2 dollars for this crap! I said it before and Ill say it again, this movie is CRAPPY CRAP CRAP! PS: This movie is crap.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I'm sorry, but I just couldn't pass up a chance to dump on this movie. Lemme put it to ya this way, watching, nay, ENDURING this rancid, puke-inducing puddle of rat speudem is roughly the visual equivilant of having your legs forced apart with large wooden blocks, at which point a some steroid popping, oatmeal-brained, Bluto-esque lummox aggressivley and repeatedly smashes your testes with a well-worn aluminum baseball bat (If you happen to be female,replace the word "testes" with "lower abdomen"). This film was a huge, repulsive, quasi-radioactive, spectacurely inept, borderline troglididic, pile of high density, low brow, cant get out of your mind or off your shoe, Dog Shiiit!
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Very, very, very, very,very,very,very,very, terrible. Jackie is only in the movie for 30 minutes tops. Nothing to do with Jackie at all! I can't believe I actually bought this piece of garbage for $10! This movie said "Starring Jackie Chan" but it actually starred these wierd people 99.9% of the time and .1%of Jackie. Avoid this movie at all costs.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure BE FOREWARNED: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL. MAKE NO MISTAKE OF THAT.This is actually the single worst movie Jackie ever made. A terrible, terrible piece of trash, Jackie is maybe in 10 minutes of this (which may be why it stinks so much). It also features Brigette Lin (of Bride with White Hair fame), but I'm not sure who she plays. Anyway, this stuff belongs on MST3K, but for some reason, has not been there yet (I may be wrong on this). But if bad movies are your thing (and I mean BAD), this might be for you. Taking place in a retro-futuristic world of Japanese Nazi Dominance, the plot follows a dreadful made-up army officer (played by Jimmy Wang-Yu) who gathers some crooks to free a bunch of captured army generals. They run into fun stuff such as fighting amazons, badly done ghosts, and psychotic Japs. Awful, awful stuff, which should be AVOIDED AT ALL COSTS!!!!!
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure (The following may or may not be factual, you decide, but at any rate it succinctly defines my feelings about the movie)
I surveyed 50 people and asked them this question: "Would you rather watch Fantasy Mission Force or have a frontal labotamy?" 49 people chose the labotamy. The other person already had his frontal lobe removed.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Man, did this suck. Jackie is only in about twenty minutes of this. And the parts he's in are far from his best. The story is something about World War II, where this general... oh, who the hell cares -- this is an idiotic waste of time. And if your copy is from "Front Row Entertainment", then you're really screwed because it looks like they just copied it from their VCR (there's actually a second where you see the VCR menu screen!)
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure You know what's funny? That my friend paid $5 for this movie! Then he brings it to my house and we watched it! I still can't believe what I saw, there's just nothing that bad. It's ok though, my friend always buys all the worst movies. The worst movie I bought was Young Master, which wasn't all that bad. Anyways, if you are trying to get every movie Jackie Chan ever made, still don't buy this movie. It's so bad it might catch on fire at any time and burn your house down. Don't think i'm joking.
The Killer Meteors (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Pure crap thanks to the no good fight scenes and the excruciatingly boring plot line. Interesting only to see how far Jimmy Wang Yu's career fell in the late 1970s.
The only reason why I rented this flick was so that I could make a copy for my pal Steve Gibbs, who likes cheesy movies. During the copying process, I watched parts of it, and I gotta tell ya, it ain't that good. In fact, it's an excruciating pain in the ass, at least for me. It is yet another kung-fu flick set in the old days instead of the 1970s. Nowhere to be found are Jackie Chan, Samo Hung, Bruce Lee, or any of those lousy fakers (Bruce Lai, Bruce Leung, Bruce Lam, etc.) The hero doesn't even wear a shag haircut (a la Jackie Chan, Bruce Jenner, Larry Wilcox, Erik Estrada, Andy Gibb, David Cassidy, Scott Baio, that Battlestar Galactica guy Richard Hatch, and dozens of other '70s hunks). There's also a ton of gore. Gore is cool in an animated movie like Fist of the North Star, but it's not cool in a live-action film like this. As you might expect, the dubbing is absolutely awful. The plot is as old as time. (Some dude uses his martial arts skills to defend family honor.) There was a lot of shit-on-celluoid produced during the 1970s (New Fist of Fury, Slaughter in San Francisco, Godzilla vs. Megalon, Not Scared to Die, Lipstick, and The Incredible Melting Man, just to name a few), but this crap is pretty damn close to the bottom of the barrel. The penny-pinching Shaw Brothers produced this one. (Jackie Chan says in his autobiography that even Shaw Brothers contract stars got next to nothing.) This was allegedly the first HK kung-fu film to make it at the American box office; I wonder why.
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READER COMMENTS
AUTHOR
N
Film reviews are really about assessing the films, rather than trumpeting one's own magnificence - or at least that is the ideal.
Sorry, but but gotta disagree with ya. This flick is a fu classic, everything about it is a model for so many others that came after. BTW, Jackie and Sammo's days in the limelight came much later than this film dude!
This got to be the worst piece of crap I've ever managed to sit through. And that was not an easy task, shit no, that was the ultimate pain in the ass. I recall trying to watch this about some half a year ago with a heavy amount of alcohol running in my veins but after the first 40 minutes or so I had to give up. It was just too embarrassing how horrendously bad this "movie" was. Bad, bad, bad, BAD. I hid the cursed tape somewhere under the cushions of my sofa hoping that someday it'll completely disappear [as has happened to every goddamn piece of valuable property that have ever coincidentally dropped on that settee]! Needless to say, after a few months, when I sat on my sofa I felt something hard under my beautiful buttocks. And there it still was, that one goddamn tape meant to be forever destroyed! So having a serious fever on that lousy Sunday afternoon, I made one terrible mistake: I put the tape into my VCR, and believe me, I've regretted that deed ever since. "Fist of Fury II" combines all the worst elements from the original. I can't even think of the words what would describe how poor this whole film is! Hell, I wasn't even able to watch another Bruce Li film for a WHOLE WEEK! [Sorry about the limited arguments to support my opinion but something in my organism just gives me a terrible headache whenever I start thinking about this film.]
I apologize to Mighty Peking Man for the precious minutes he'll spend formatting and posting my review of a film that makes "Sexy and Dangerous" look like "Citizen Kane" in comparison. I apologize to Ryan Lundgren for ever making fun of his B-movie fetish and love of crappy American films like "Punisher" and "Child's Play 2", both of which are "Gone With the Wind"-like in comparison. I apologize to John Singleton, whose seminal gangsta film "Boyz 'N the Hood" this film borrows its title. I apologize to the creative geniuses behind "Sexy and Dangerous", a film I absolutely loathed but at least co-starred Francis Ng. I apologize to Numskull who will inevitably read this review but will immediately regret doing so. Never have I felt so dirty, so compelled to shower and lather and rinse and shower again after watching the absolutely awful, vile, putrid piece of shit that is "Girls in the Hood".
I erred. When I rented this film I assumed it would be a gritty gangsta knock-off featuring Hong Kong drive-bys, machine gun-toting babes, and a pulsating, bass-fueled soundtrack featuring Asia's hottest stars rapping ala Snoop Doggy Dogg. Boy, was I wrong. Instead, I got the following:
Minutes from start of film that someone gets naked: 56 seconds.
A group of actresses that were seemingly hired neither for their acting ability nor looks but rather their willingness to expose their breasts and the number of bruises they had on their arms..
A cast of characters with incredibly stupid monikers like Brainless, Blackgirl (not black, by the way), Screams, Mainlander, Coke, and Master Man.
A low-budget score seemingly lifted from an episode of CHiPs.
Dialogue gems like, "Damn! You said you were sex superman! You are useless."
Truly authentic ghetto speak like, "Sit down, bitch." Spoken like an authentic girl in the hood!
Girls that are "bad" because they cram their faces with Lay's potato chips in a Circle K and don't even pay for them! Bad girls, bad girls, watch a gonna do...
Three Andy Lau references, including a sex scene involving a paper Andy Lau mask.
Ratio of bare male butts to bare female butts: 7:2. Lots of hairy ass here.
The biggest offense: Countless gratuitous scenes of rape. Vile, vile stuff here.
The only good things about this movie? A close-up of a can of San Miguel beer and a two second shot of Hong Kong's skyline.
Worst movie I've ever seen. Time for another shower.
The 36 crazy fist aren't really that crazy, because they are very boring. A better name for this film would probably be"The Little Shaolin Weenie". This film is like the "ugly duckling learns kung fu, and beats up everyone", and another thing Jackie doesn't even star in it. Jackie was the martial arts director for this film, but was a big disappointment. This film kept repeating itself too, it was you like this"You killed him so now I'll kill you" (Then he dies and another guy shows up) "You killed him now I'll kill you"(Then he dies and those two guys master shows up) "You killed my best students, and you insulted me, now you will die!" (So then we see a boring drawn out kung fu scene with a beggar and two Shaolin guys watching,and then the master dies the end). Although I don't like this film it did have some comedic elements. I listed some down below is how the "Weenie" learned Kung Fu during the film.
The second Shaolin guy beats up the little "Weenie"
Beggar beats up "Weenie"
"Weenie" learns a bit of Kung Fu and fights second Shaolin guy, and learns a bit more Kung Fu
"Weenie" goes to learn more Kung Fu from Beggar, but Beggar's student beats "Weenie" up
"Weenie" learns more Kung Fu, and fights gang and beats them up
Gets challenged by gangs leader, and goes back to Shaolin and learns more Kung Fu
"Weenie" kills gangs leader, and gets challenged by gang leaders brother (they have to fight with weapons)
"Weenie" learns a little about fighting with weapons,and then fights brother of gang leader
Shaolin monks help "Weenie" cheat and so "Weenie" kills bother of gang leader
Master of the two brothers challenges "Weenie" so "Weenie" learns the (get this) "The 36 Crazy Styles"
The beggar's student and "Weenie" use the 36 crazy styles to kill the master the end
This film has also been called Jackie Chan's Bloodpact, but don't be fooled by the pretty cover. This isn't a Chan film.
I don't know about ya'll, but this is how Dimension would release this film in the theaters in a land filled with horrible movies: There's never a descent actor around when you need him but when this actor's around, one is all you need - Jackie Chan in his worst movie ever EAGLE SHADOW FIST....Well I'll be fair, we learned 2 things from this picture: We now know the color of blood is a bright neon red and women, children, and the blind can be killed on screen with no remorse - And talk about the actor playing the hero, I'm not crackin' on the guy or anything, but facially, every time I saw him, I felt like saying "It's Howdy Doody Time, It's Howdy Doody Time...". It hurts me to say what I'm about to - The action director for the film was Yuen Cheung-Yan, that's right, the brother of Yuen Wo-Ping, he's even in the movie at the beginning. He plays the head of the Japanese soldiers who march backstage to capture Jackie and Howdy Doody. Even worse, another Yuen Clan member, Yuen Yat-Chor also has a cameo as one of the guys hiding in the bushes who kill Jackie. I can't believe the action director for this piece of crap was the same guy who did the action for "Once Upon A Time In China", "Fire Dragon", "Sword of Many Loves", "King of Beggars", "Operation Pink Force 2" and "Miracle Fighters". Now that I've disclosed this horrible secret I feel my life may be in danger from the Yuen Clan. I'm not scared though, I'll just hire Wang Yu for protection -- after all, I am one who loved Fantasy Mission Force.
Well I bought a (get this) a 4-pack of Jackie Chan films that included this film,the pack was called the "Rumble Pack".Why do all these film companies (like Parade) keep adding "rumble" in there synopsis. Well time for the movie review. Eagle Shadow Fist another "I hate Japs" flick , that has Jackie in a "minor role". In fact he gets killed during the end of the film. The movies end is very disturbing, when the Japanese started to slaughter those villagers. The last (with the Japanese Captain and the freedom fighter) fight is a long, predictable, and drawed out process. Down below is what to expect
"I (Freedom Fighter) beat up your men, and then you (Japanese Guy) hit me"
"You beat me many times"
"More beating of me"
"And yet another scene of beating me up"
"Now we fight in river, where I get beat as well"
"I take much beat, now I beat you"
"Hah! Now you take beat"
"Ow! You beat me"
"Now we on top of hill, I jab hand in your eye sockets"
Mere words cannot express how bad this movie is (I call it Fantasy Mission FARCE). It has something to do with a team of people looking for World War II treasure. For the life of me I could not make sense of it. I think there's a sequence where all the good guys have nightmares (and I had nightmares myself about what pathetic shape the Hong Kong film industry must have been in to allow something like this to get made in the first place). Jackie's 20-minute role must have been a favor to the director or a producer. He plays a hillbilly who wears overalls and catches chickens with his bare hands. It would have been cool if he had reprised that role and terrorized Burt Reynolds in the Cannonball Run movies (if you've never seen "Deliverance", believe me, that's a good joke). The last scene, in which many characters are mercifully killed off, has lots of dilapidated 1970s model cars lying around...quite extraordinary for a movie that's supposed to take place during World War II, wouldn't you say? The downbeat ending might have been effective in a better movie, but in this case it just means that your time is through being wasted. Watch this movie if you want to take an acid trip without the acid.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I'm not sure what to make of this film, but since there are so many lengthy opinions here I'll keep this short: This film is weird. It really isn't a feature as much as it is a series of very strange vignettes about a bunch of oddballs and their misadventures among ghosts, amazons, and a bunch of "Mad Max" type bad guys. If you want to know the whole plot keep reading: A bunch of people go on a mission to save WW2 generals they get in a fight in the end and they all die. Jackie shows up, kills the surviving bad guys, and the movie ends. That's about it. I give this movie one point for the scene where Jackie ties up the flying woman in her outrageous clothes and kicks her and says "come on! fly!" ok, I've said too much.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure The first time I saw this film, I thought it was just about bearable, the second time bad, and then it just deteriorated from there. I not going to even attempt to explain the plot, because I don't fully understand it, all I know is there is a woman who blew up her own house, a fat bloke in an Elvis style suit, a corrupt general geezer, two weird blokes in tartan, and then of course Jackie, who is the one good thing in this film.
Here's my list of unbearable things I would rather do than be subjected to this film again:
Be commited to a mental assylum for the rest of my life.
Fantasy Mission Force (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure If you like Nazi's, 70's muscle cars, amazons, ghosts, Jackie Chan, Jimmy Wang Yu, and chicken chasin, all wrapped up in a drug induced nightmare, you'll love Fantasy Mission Force.
The Killer Meteors (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I think a better title for this movie would be "Killer Flatulence" or maybe "Killer Fecal". This movie stunk bad. I give it my Black Hole Award, because it just sucks. This movie made me want to buy an assault rifle, hunt down Jimmy Wang Yu, and kill his meteor. What really sucked was Jackie played the bad guy. Through the entire movie I hoped that maybe just maybe the Killer Fecal weapon would be really cool, but NOOO! It was just some damn stick that shot fireworks. My god, the sparkler being waved around on Spiritual Kung Fu was more high tech. I'll join Numskull in that Harlem parade just so I don't ever have to see this movie again. Hmm, on second thought I'll help Numskull kill Jimmy Wang Yu.
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