Apart from the fact that the girls are very cute, this direct to video atrocity is terrible in every regard. The version I saw had no English subtitles so I couldn't figure out the details of the story, but the execution is so awful that I don't think it would have made a difference. The nonsensical title of the film just further supports my suspicions. The cinematography and editing are terrible, and on par with a low budget high school project. The action scenes are incredibly weak, and even more offensive in that the girls are all doubled by glaringly obvious stuntmen in drag. What's the point in making a female action film if the women aren't even featured in the action scenes? There are a couple of decent hits and some nice posturing here and there, but nothing that can redeem this incoherent mess. The actresses themselves are actually swimsuit models, and their delivery tends to be stiff and emotionally flat. However, it's hard to blame them given the material that they're working with. The digital visual effects are also extremely lame, and for the most part are completely unnecessary. Digital rain? What's the point if nothing looks wet? The physical effects don't fare any better, and bullet hits don't leave any physical evidence of their presence, forcing the viewer to pretend that someone or something just got shot. By far the most ridiculous effect is that when the girls stop and strike a pose, a small blast of air from off camera is blown in their faces to reposition any stray hairs. Completely absurd. It's best to just admire the box art and leave this one on the shelf.

A foreigner has lost his prized boxer dog, and the crooked Chinese police are looking for a scapegoat. The local townspeople suffer from countless injustices at the hands of the ruthless cops until the last twenty minutes of the film when kung fu prodigy Philip Ko gets pissed and decides to kill everybody on the police force.

The film is really a blazing action showcase for Ko, and he is in top form. His final fight with legendary kung fu villain Hwang Jang Lee is complex, hard hitting, and exhausting. Too bad the rest of the film sucks so bad. And as if the standard bad dubbing isn't bad enough already, whose brilliant idea was it to give Hwang Jang Lee the voice of a squeaky seventeen year old boy?!? Do yourself a favor and just skip to the end.

Okay, let's see what we can put together... A man (let's call him Li) is accused of sleeping with the wife of legendary swordsman See Man Chelsey, so they have a duel. Li barely manages to escape with his life, only to get lost in the woods. There, he meets another fugitive along with a See Man Chelsey imposter, who kills himself in shame after being defeated by Li. Still looking for a place to hide, the other fugitive leads Li to Death Villa - a strange smoke filled village where everyone is dead(?) and speaks with an echo in their voice. Li manages to escape death by winning a human meat eating contest and beating up the general of Death Villa, but the inhabitants of Death Villa want to kill Li who they suspect of murdering the See Man Chelsey imposter in the forest. Fortunately he's saved by Mrs. Wah, the "bitch who kills men", but then they are both kidnapped by the leader of Death Villa. It turns out that Li is just being tested by the leader of Death Villa, and having passed all the tests he's now part of a mission to assassinate the leader of Wu Tang. But first, they must kill all of the unnecessary (dead?) people in Death Villa. (are you following all of this?!?) So Li and the Death Villa death squad go to Wu Tang, ambush the leader of the clan, and kill all of his guests. Or so it seems... Then comes the twist ending where everyone turns on the leader of Death Villa and the great mysterious plot gets reveals - sort of. The film ends on a freeze frame of Li and See Man Chelsey picking up their fight from the beginning of the film.

What a complete mess. The kung fu is fair to good, with lots of strange wire-work and bizarre sound effects. The story is inconceivably confusing and convoluted. I gave up trying to even understand what the characters were saying about ten minutes into the film - it might as well have been in a different language. And then there's the great opening sequence of See Man Chelsey and some other guy fighting in an unbelievably poor desert setting while the theme music from "Battlestar Galactica" (1978) is playing in the background. (you can even see the actors' shadows on the sky backdrops) And let's not forget the kung fu dwarf of Death Villa...

Regardless, this is a completely incomprehensible mess of kung fu nonsense, made barely watchable by having a decent twenty minute martial arts fighting finale. Ti Lung is a bumpkin who's been framed by his master for the disappearance of an important kung fu manuscript. While in exile, he teams up with pretty Chang Ling and together they exact their revenge while in search of the truth. There is so much nonsense in this film, I don't know where to begin. First, there's a crazy drunkard that lives in a cave who has three arms and three legs, and can teleport himself around. He teaches Ti Lung some kung fu in a matter of seconds, which he never uses again. Meanwhile, Ti Lung's master is learning from the secret kung fu manuscript, but decides to commit suicide by plunging a knife into his gut. Miraculously, he shows up again at the end of the film with his face covered in boils. Another unexplained drunkard with a horde of children shows up to tend to Ti Lung's wounds later in the film and he provides goofy comedic relief with tumbling tricks and camera mugging. Somewhere along the way, Ti Lung's pretty sister goes mad and spends her time in the water trying to catch fish with her bare hands. And out of that same water emerges a big white guy in a toga who does battle with Ti Lung in the final showdown. He eventually loses the battle when a bunch of children poke him in the butt with sharp sticks and blow bubbles in his face. What the hell?!? What else can I say? This film is just mind-boggling and dreadful to watch. It also features some of the worst sets ever made - even worse than the original "Star Trek" TV series. (but not as bad as Russ Meyer's "Wild Gals Of The Naked West" (1962) - that one takes the cake) For the most part, the kung fu is good and it's nice to see Ti Lung in action. You may want to consider just fast-forwarding to the end of the film to see him fight.

Okay, we've seen this "girl dresses as boy and fools everyone" gag dozens (and maybe hundreds) of times, but this time it's painfully obvious. Polly Shang Kwan is too cute and far too busty to come off as a man. Especially in the tight early 70's fashions that she's wearing. Even in loose fitting clothes you can tell she has a sizeable chest. And to have her pretend to be a man for the entire film? What's the point?!? And then there's the mind-boggling aspect of having her pose as a girl in order to fool the bad guys? What could the filmmakers possibly be thinking? "We need a woman to play the part of a man so that we can have her pose as a woman in the last twenty minutes of the film, and then she can surprise everyone by actually being a woman in the first place." Sure, it makes perfect sense... But regardless of what gender she's supposed to be, she and angelic Angela Mao kick glorious ass throughout the film, and they're the ONLY reason to sit through this abomination - or at least fast forward through it.

Apart from a delightful showdown between Cheng and the assassin, the film is completely devoid of action and focuses almost entirely on Carol Cheng's exhausting rapid fire yelling. Wow, that woman can talk up a storm. Most of the humor is very topical and cultural, making it impenetrable for Western audiences, but there are a couple of physical gags that are surprisingly amusing. An effeminate turn by Anthony Wong is utterly brilliant. Sadly, Ms. Cheng's character has lost a lot of her endearing charm and innocence, and suffers from a very unflattering haircut. The non-stop verbal sparring makes it difficult to recommend this film unless you're a fan of Hong Kong comedy or a Carol Cheng completist.

This is an example of the very worst type of sequel, one that is simply a low quality knock-off of the original. The jokes are stale and even less funny the second time around. Tony Leung's absence also spells doom for the proceedings, and the innocent tenderness of the first film comes off as a farce in this one. The action is extremely sparse and basically boils down to two chaotic, but marginally entertaining shootouts. Alfred Cheung actually gets to use his ESP this time around, with lukewarm results. We learn that the key to focusing his powers depends on his chastity, which leads to the film's most bizarre line of dialog: "a drop of sperm equals seven drops of blood." That makes about as much sense as the rest of the film does. As before, only Carol Cheng's impressive acting and comedic timing keep the film moving, but unless you're a fan of Hong Kong comedy, it can be a serious chore to watch.

The plot is nearly incomprehensible and the characters are neither interesting or endearing. The film has obviously been re-titled for the international market, as it has absolutely nothing to do with Shaolin Temple or Buddhist monks. Instead, it features a group of blind monks who ingeniously kidnap a woman in a bathtub. You can tell they're blind because they have sour expressions and are always looking upwards. The action scenes contain some fairly satisfying swordplay, but the editing is a bit disruptive. The only noteworthy fight in the film is during the climax when Leung Ka-Yan and Meng Fei duke it out with a villainous Phillip Ko, and it's quite enjoyable. Unless you're a Meng Fei or Leung Ka-Yan completist, there's better fare out there to satisfy a kung fu craving.

The plot is nearly incomprehensible and the characters are neither interesting or endearing. The film has obviously been re-titled for the international market, as it has absolutely nothing to do with Shaolin Temple or Buddhist monks. Instead, it features a group of blind monks who ingeniously kidnap a woman in a bathtub. You can tell they're blind because they have sour expressions and are always looking upwards. The action scenes contain some fairly satisfying swordplay, but the editing is a bit disruptive. The only noteworthy fight in the film is during the climax when Leung Ka-Yan and Meng Fei duke it out with a villainous Phillip Ko, and it's quite enjoyable. Unless you're a Meng Fei or Leung Ka-Yan completist, there's better fare out there to satisfy a kung fu craving.

Like Frankie Chan's other action comedies of the same period, the dichotomy of comedy and action is jarring, and the make-it-up-as-you-go plot exists only to string together the various set pieces. Like many Hong Kong comedies, the humor is dark, violent, sexist, misogynistic, absurd, and almost completely inaccessible to Western audiences. The action, on the other hand, translates extremely well and Chan's direction, choreography, and execution are stunning as always. He and his stunt performers are all in top form, and their movements are fast, fluid, and hard hitting. While the majority of the film is tedious and annoying, the pay-off of such high precision stuntwork is what makes the journey worthwhile.

The storytelling is by far the weakest link in this film, as it's often confusing or just plain boring at times. Ti Lung gives an excellent performance and lends a sense of class and maturity to the production, which balances out some of the more eccentric players. The kung fu is good, although much of it is pointless due to Fu Sheng's hot temper and eagerness to start a fight with anyone. And once again, he's the only member of the cast with really awful hair - an unsettling trend in Fu Sheng's filmography. Director Chang Cheh also exhibits his flair for bloodletting and a certain sense of the absurd. In the final showdown between Ti Lung and Wang Lung, Wang resorts to using his ultimate weapon - a giant golden club in the shape of a naked woman! What the hell?!? But Ti eventually defeats him, resulting in an outrageous blood geyser spraying forth from Wang's broken skull. There's also a rather gruesome scene of a guy's head being kicked clean off and the resulting blood flow - all captured in glorious slow motion. At its best, it's very entertaining and all of the characters are unique and interesting. At its worst, it's tiresome and hard to follow.

It's nice to see Cynthia Khan in a somewhat regal role and wearing a frilly period costume dress for a change. Unfortunately, she doesn't seem as comfortable or proficient with flowing fabric as Joey Wang or Brigitte Lin, but she does swing a really mean sword! The martial arts choreography is very energetic and acrobatic, but the execution seems a bit sloppy at times with severely undercranked shots, bloodless battles, and surprisingly little physical contact between opponents. However, I was convinced that Waise Lee could hold his own in a fight, so they must have been doing something right. Pretty average in all respects.