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NINJA [2009] [BLU-RAY]
 
LIKE A DRAGON [US VERSION]
 
12/6/2009 5:00:00 PM
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One Armed Boxer's Profile

Avg. Film Rating: 
 3.5 / 5

Gender: Male

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    by One Armed Boxer

China Heat (product link)
Action/Adventure / Girls With Guns



There are two reasons to watch "China Heat". The first is Michael Depasquale Jr.. The second is his hairy-faced partner. Together they make the ultimate (unintentional) comedy duo to ever grace the screen.

Depasquale Jr., for all intents and purposes looking like a mentally unstable version of David Duchovny, storms around for the whole film pulling a variety of bizarre faces, firing a gun while not looking where he's shooting, and my personal favourite, adopting a Yosemite Sam pose while firing two pistols at once in the film finale (it's priceless).

The best exchange comes between him and his hairy-faced partner though, in a group martial arts practice session in police headquarters. Depasquale Jr. calls out hairy-face to stand in front of him and tells him to watch as he throws a series of punches. The camera focuses on the poker-faced expression of his parter as his eyes attempt to watch the punches, which just equates to him blinking a lot and looking worried. Great.

Other must-see highlights include a spectacular exploding head, Sibelle Hu riding a motorbike onto the top of a hijacked jumbo jet to take on some (possibly Taliban) terrorists in a scene which is clearly ahead of its time and also has nothing to do with any other part of the film, and the brief but always welcome appearance of Mark Houghton and Sophia Crawford as two of the worst-dressed bad guys ever.

"China Heat" is a classic for all the wrong reasons, it's just a shame only the Chinese language track was included [on the US DVD by Image], as there is probalby more English spoken than Chinese.

Watch with a beer for maximum enjoyment!

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    by One Armed Boxer

Rob-B-Hood (product link)
Action/Adventure / Comedy



Rob-B-Hood certainly delivers in entertainment value, even if I was slightly dissapointed that it wasn't the reunion of Jackie, Sammo, and Yuen Biao that initial rumours had said it was going to be.

The movie moves along at a good pace, and I laughed more in this movie than I did in all of Chan's American productions put together. Some of the jokes definately wouldn't be found in a western movie...baby in a washing machine, dirtied nappy in the face, its all here!

Louis Koo makes an ok sidekick, although as a kung fu fan I would much rather have seen him swap with Yuen Biao's barely there police role than the main co-star, I can't help but wonder what the final showdown would be like if it was Jackie and Biao versus the thugs instead!

Still there's plenty of action to see, there's no need to mention the now yawn inducing comments of how Jackie isn't as fast as he used to be, and even if this is the case, he carries the scenes off with such creativity and physical wit that you won't even care, and everyone will be counting their blessings to see the CGI'd Jackie of the Myth nowhere in sight (baby Matthew isn't so lucky).

All in all a good all round movie, definately worth a purchase, the only downside I would say is the ridiculously drawn out ending once the bad guys have been done with. I watched the extended version so I don't know if the theatrical one is any different, but the films switch in tone from comedy to panic driven melodrama is a bit too much to take, but then the outtakes come along to cheer us all up again, and watch our for the bizarre but hilarious cameo by Daniel Wu!

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