It's a wonderfully short movie, less than 90 minutes, and that too is a strength of the movie; because even with its short length, it shows signs of struggling to keep going at times. Ultimately the movie succeeds because of Jason Statham and his ability to charm the audience even at warp speed. Silly crude jokes, ridiculous violence, and an utterly stupid plot (the ending makes one wonder how they made a sequel, unless cloning is involved) make up "Crank", but the movie moves so fast you never stop to realize any of this while you're watching. Far from great, but entertaining in a very 80s action kinda' way, there isn't a five second stretch without hitting, shooting, car chasing, or running.

Apparently having learned from "Tokyo Gore Police", they stuck with a ridiculous parade of gore as the primary plot motivator here and kept the story short, sweet, and to the point: Girl who was pieced together from her 11 friends as some sort of Bionic Woman from hell seeks revenge on those who killed her. Simple, straightforward, and full of crowd-pleasing over-the-top gore battles.

The setting is the Tokugawa Shogunate of the future--who knows, maybe in 100 years they'll come back to power so we have a smattering of swords, Harajuku-inspired samurai fashions, and a steampunk sensibility. I can see this easily raising the hackles of many viewers, as its predecessor, "Tokyo Gore Police", did. There is a quirky low budget quality to this movie that either you'll embrace for its oddness or hate for the exact same reason. I immediately liked this movie, I liked "Tokyo Gore Police" as well, so maybe there is no accounting for taste. Because of the variety and speed at which the gore flies at you in this movie, we have guys getting their skeletons punched from their bodies, guys turned into fountains of spurting blood, breast balls of doom, killer fur-covered guitars, and more.

"Samurai Princess" cuts (pun intended) to the chase much faster than "Tokyo Gore Police" and has a style that honestly is second to none. It's worth checking out for gorehounds and fans of wacky cinema.

Zombie movies are a Anti-Globalization rally. We don't give two rats' asses about your political views. We want gore, a couple of boobs, and violent zombie killing action. As much as I respect and admire the George Romero Living Dead Trilogy (I consider both "Land Of..." and "Diary Of..." not part of the series, we will see what comes of "Survival Of The Dead" if we consider it part of the hallowed group or not) for their political message and themes, they were expertly woven into the story itself and weren't the sole purpose behind the film--something every subsequent zombie-with-a-message movie totally forgets. Ideally for the low budget filmmaker, the goal should be Lucio Fulci's "Zombi", it is perfection in the cheap gore-drenched thrills department and is a much safer bet for those without the writing skills to deliver a message without boxing gloves.

That being said, the makers of "Zombies Anonymous" completely ignored my statement. In fact they went the opposite road and made the entire movie one long lecture on how we treat illegal immigrants. No zombie killing, no boobs, no apocalypse scenario. It is talky, dull, and stuck with its head hopelessly up its own ass. The one-star I've granted the film is due to the few brief moments of gore which, compared to the rest of the subpar filmmaking on display here, were actually decent, which proves to me they knew how to make a low budget gore flick but decided to go with the terrible dialogue and amateur acting route, making the movie an even bigger disappointment.

Unless you are in the mood for being lectured to ad nauseum on how you live in a terrible society because we make illegals mop our floors, I'd recommend skipping this and watching Lucio Fulci's "Zombi" while hitting yourself in the head with a hammer. It will hurt less and you'll get to watch a decent zombie movie in between the blinding flashes of pain.

The movie is all about noises and creeping dread, something you feel if you spend any time in a big old house that you aren't familiar with. It does a good job with its 80s setting--most modern horror movies rip off 80s movies but few decide to actually set it in the 80s. A likeable main character really helps make the movie work--she isn't too much of a victim nor is she too much of a pain in the ass. She really is the glue that holds the movie together, a natural normal person sucked into a very spooky world. The ending isn't all that great. With all this build up it's pretty difficult to satisfy everybody, but it does the job pretty well.

It isn't perfect, but when compared to pretty much every other domestic horror movie I have seen this year, it beats them all hands down. This is one of those rare occasions that I have found myself agreeing with the hype surrounding a movie. Normally a movie that is hyped too much is always desperately trying to compensate for being junk, but this one actually deserves a lot of the hype it received. Not perfect, but still a very outstanding horror movie in a time when more horror movies like this are needed.

The movie is one massive build up. From the moment we see our girl sitting in her apartment staring holes through the phone waiting for the call--only to learn she has a guy tied up in a laundry bag in the background--to the climax, this movie is filmmaking gold. It also scores big points from me because I have a phobia for needles, which is good because I like it when a movie gets under your skin and tortures you, because well, it's a movie, and a horror movie at that, which is exactly what movies should be.

This was my first Takashi Miike movie (my second was "Ichi", kinda' a tone shift there), and I've been a big fan of his ever since. He knows how to make one hell of a good movie, and this is probably his finest in terms of raw, jagged, nerve-shredding terror.

The story is completely out there, and you really just need to go with it--don't think about it just let it take you on its magical, insane joyride. The movie starts off with a bang, literally. They blow a house up after a twenty-man free for all, which really should give you a pretty good idea of where they are heading. The beginning reminded me a lot of those old "WWF In Your House" ads where the wrestlers would destroy somebody's living room in the commercials.

The movie's main star, Shinya Hashimoto, a real life pro-wrestler, does an excellent job with his role, mainly because he is being himself in a more insane story than usual. It really helps the movie, unlike such pro-wrestler vehicles as "Suburban Commando", where the wrestlers are out of their element. To get the most out of this, you need some familiarity with wrestling. You need to understand the ebb and flow of its particular brand of storytelling. If you liked "Calamari Wrestler" but wanted more insane destructive fights out of it, then this will be your wacky cup of tea.

This is a movie that needs to be watched twice just to catch everything. The plot is non-linear and that will probably throw many people, especially those who are used to domestic movies with their spoon-fed plots. You need to pay attention to what's going on and allow yourself to be thrown around by the movie. I love this kind of movie that plays with time/space, but in a manageable way.

The Japanese really have a good firm hold on how to do this and do it right, with good pacing, a really darkly funny story, and plenty of surprises. It reminded me a lot of the anime series "Baccano", with its love of having a single story being told by different points of few at the same time, and times future and past often overlapping one another. It's a smart movie and I love smart movies and it is a shame that too often smart movies are hard to come by.

The title is misleading. These movies look like they were made last week, and unless I'm mistaken it's been, oh, twenty years since the fall of the Soviet Union. So the "Soviet Underground" title is rather misleading. Aficionados of mix-tapes and other collections of the bizarre will recognize parts of "Shameless And Tasteless", which feature the crazy old lady who laughs just like you'd expect the witch in a Brothers Grimm tale to laugh.

Aside from a couple of fairly silly ideas--Killer Bra being chief among them--the bulk of this is obnoxious and annoying, which are the two chief characteristics of a Troma movie in my opinion. If you like Troma movies, then you will find a lot in common in these movies. If you can't stand them, don't blame me if you hate this strange clump of junk.