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LADY NINJA KASUMI VOL. 5: COUNTER ATTACK
 
WHEELS ON MEALS [UNCUT US VERSION]
 
12/4/2009 3:00:00 PM
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Sashimi X @ HOUSE OF CINEMA's Profile

Avg. Film Rating: 
 4.83 / 5

Agreement: 100% of 11 voters agree with Sashimi X @ HOUSE OF CINEMA's reviews
Location: L.A. : TOKYO : MANILA : HONG KONG
Web Site: http://house-of-cinema.blogspot.com/
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    by Bastard Ronin

Chocolate [2008] (product link)
Martial Arts / Action/Adventure



Don't hate, appreciate. Why oh why have so many dragged this piece of gold through the dirt? It took me a long while to check this movie out because I was waiting for an all-region version with subtitles so I could evaluate this movie properly. People were dissing the plot before a version with subtitles was even available. I guess a bunch of you folks speak Thai. Though I doubt it.

I honestly don't get where all this animosity for this film comes from. People diss it because the girl is small so many basically sign right here off as weak. Size is a factor in power. That I can't deny, but also so is proper technique. With good technique any sized individual can manifest amazing power beyond their stature. I'd love for you folks to question the power of the small man who taught me Muay Thai. I'm a good sport so I would totally call an ambulance for you after I finished laughing my ass off at what he did to you.

Allow me to be equal parts sexist and scientific. There is a greater need for suspension of disbelief in any movie were a small or average sized chick physically takes out grown men. Because that doesn't happen. Men are bigger, stronger and have higher endurance to physical trauma than women. Don't give me that damn look. I didn't make up physics. Look dat shit up. So basically if you hold any film where a woman is a complete badass in high regard, then on some level you too have disregarded reason in favor of entertainment. Good for you, that is what it's there for.

The martial arts choreography and delivery in this film are exemplary as well as extraordinary. Many critics have touted Jeeji Yanin as the female Tony Jaa, which isn't really fair to her as she does have her own distinct style and flair, though many of the large and daring moves do have that trademark Thai seal of approval like Tony's stuff.

Honestly, folks, why are you dissing the plot of this movie? Yeah, the story is kind of lame, but is that really why you are watching? It is disgraceful for any action junkie to disregard or blast on this movie. Top class fights and stunts keep this in a league of its own, but the yummy violence doesn't stop there. There's some rough and tumble gunplay in full effect. The shootouts don't have the dramatic flair of say a John Woo film, so you won't see any slow-mo, two-gun, dive through the air, exchange fire for five minutes type of jazz. No, the gunplay is more Quentin Tarantino styled--abrupt, gritty, and in your face. No stand-offs. Usually when you see a piece in this flick, cats are in the process of getting shot the fuck up.

Also toward the end there is a balls out, slash 'em up sword battle that gets the blood flowing. That sword battle is raw and intense. If I had it my way, every flick would have to incorporate at least one swordfight or end with a swordplay duel. Hell, I would have actually watched "The Sisterhood Of The Traveling Pants" if I knew at the end they all kill each other with swords. That I would pay to see. Again, don't give me that damn look.

Some folks also say that the heroine doesn't get to take on a decent challange in the flick. You folks are forgetting about Mr. Adidas: four eyes, short bus, break dancing heavy twitcher. He was wild and very enjoyable to watch with his break dancing Capoiera-fu. How was he not a worthy challenge?

I tried my best not to give up the coveted five star grand prize, but this bad little ass kicker earned it. Is the story groundbreaking and Oscar worthy? Nope. Is it perfect? Not really. But excellence in the desired arena can trump all that garbage. When a movie excels in certain areas to such a phenomenal degree, and it achieves the intended type of entertainment that it was striving for with utmost quality, then all our pretensions and over-analyses become meaningless, because we know we were entertained and that chances are we are going back for second and third helpings. You don't do that with bad or mediocre flicks. You do that with great movies.

In my opinion, this is the best bad ass chick flick, trumping the reigning champs, "Yes, Madam" and "Book Of Heroes". I defy any reviewer here to find or name a better ass kicking chick movie. If you disagree with this review I'm going to expect you to name-drop a better bad-ass chick flick. If you can't think of one and are of the collection of reviewers that clocked on this movie, then I'm going to ask you to reevaluate your feelings on this film and watch it again. You may have missed something. Something great. You know the name and the game's still the same. Keep it real, folks. Peace.

AGREE?READER COMMENTSAUTHOR
YAs one who enjoys furious female action, I completely agree with your analysis, but like Choco stated there are some badass chix that are seperate but equal!Sgt. T
NI think I may have grown tired of the 'Thai style'... cuz I was utterly bored when watching this movie. Might revisit it in the future.JAY LEE
NWhile mildly entertaining, this film is not even close to being in five-star realm. The fights were just more of the same and grew tedious after a while. And though her character is mentally challenged, the performance was just too one-note for me.MS10197
YEach viewer should simply ask himself whether the fighting is good and the film entertaining: Yes and yes. Oh, yes indeed.Jeffrey Frawley
YRight On!!Little Dragon Fan
YI abso-frickin-lutely agree!!! I enjoyed every minute of CHOCOLATE. An Instant Cult Classic!!!Sashimi X @ HOUSE OF CINEMA
Ygood review man i agree with all you're points,this film is awesome. kung fu kid
YObviously we're in total agreement on this one! But I will always hold a special place in my heart for other badass chix that are separate but equal! Lady Snowblood, Thriller, Hard Candy, all those awesome 80s HK girls with guns flix... It's all so good!Choco
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