Bio: I'm an all around movie viewer. Kung Fu/Drama/Horror/Sleazey Exploitation/etc.
Chances are if you've seen one of my reviews it's probably for one of the Korean AVs. I enjoy movies with wild or "out there" content. Bad taste doesn't really mean much to me. That doesn't mean I think it's great, just entertaining.
Bloody Fight [1972] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure
A decent film. Lots of fights. Not the most refined in terms of skill, but they try really hard to distinguish this movie. In some cases they probably over reached in some of the things they attempted. Some of the blood/limb-breaking can look "cheesy". Still, the effort alone is impressive. My complaint would be with the editing/pacing of the film. They flashback a couple of times in an akward fashion. It probably would have been better (to me) if they had just played things out sequentially. The final battle also lost a little. Two of the heroes (the men) are fighting the main Japanese villain while the girls are fighting some generic goons. And in the film they cut back and forth between the fights (in a less than seamless way) that tends to lose momentum for the action. There are also occasions where the guys are fighting and you'll hear one of the girls make grunts, which distracts from the fight you're watching and places your intrest into something you can't see. All of that is minor. The overall product is solid. It doesn't raise itself above its limitations (like "Secret Rivals") but it isn't hindered by them either.
13 Worms (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure A movie that's all over the place. There are a lot of elements here--action, comedy, musical--and none really shine. There's a "campy" appeal to it, but the action isn't great and the comedy isn't all that funny. The biggest problem is the amount of characters. You can't really grasp the importance of a majority of them. They could have "cut some fat" and made this the "5 Worms" or something. Instead we have "Worms" popping up at various places doing different characters then disappearing for awhile. Usually you'd have a small band of unique fighters that would appeal to various viewers. Here it's a bunch of people who hardly distinguish themselves from each other. An okay watch but I doubt it will require repeat viewing.
Axing Of The Coffin (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I have to agree with the first reviewer. The fighting is sporadic and the movie doesn't really hold your attention.
I've seen a few of these movies now and think this one comes up short when compared to them ("Mortuary Blues", "Ghostly Vixen"). It isn't as though this movie doesn't have a lot of comedy, I just don't think it was all that funny. It's weird because the movie goes "beyond" its ratings in some regards (brief nudity of a woman's breasts), then holds back in terms of comedy. I kind of expected something lewd and "whacked out". Yet, a lot of the gags are tame. There's an entire scene involving a mischievious mahjong ghost, that looks like a crappy crack addict Alf, which adds nothing to the story and results in some brief puppet violence. Perhaps the only highlight for me involved a fight with a puppeteered skeleton. It reminded me of "Army of Darkness". The scene started with a lively fight between two guys and the afore mentioned skeleton, but it eventually evolved into them kicking each other in the crotch. I can honestly say that had me laughing my ass off. It was a cheap effect but it really looked hilarious.
Overall, it's a so-so kind of movie. There's some "interesting" things to see, but probably not consistent enough with the humor. Some laughs here or there but there are better films.
Ghostly Vixen (product link) Ghost / Comedy Another comedic ghost movie in the vein of "Ghost Snatchers" and "Mortuary Blues". It's a fairly funny movie that's probably a half step below CAT 3 in terms of content. There's quite a bit of sexual humor and crude themes, but doesn't resort to nudity or sex scenes. The story and antics are quite preposterous, but you should expect that kind of thing from a movie like this.
It's the kind of movie that caters to people who have a warped sense of humor. It's really the kind of movie that you have to see. There's about three or four funny moments I can think of off the top of my head, but I'd hate to spoil it for anyone. Even if you're wary of the VCD format this is probably a movie you should own.
The Demon's Baby (product link) Horror / Fantasy A slightly better than average ghost/demon comedy film. The FX look pretty crappy, but since it's a comedy you can add that to the laugh factor. Seriously, how many chances do you get to see two guys kicking a demon fetus like a soccer ball, and yes, a woman's crotch is the goal. There's a fair share of blood and violence, some profanity, etc. Nothing terribly offensive. The story, while there, means little to your enjoyment of this film. It's the kind of movie where you sit back, relax, and enjoy what's given to you.
Guinea Pig Box Set [6-Movie Set] (product link) Horror / Thriller Ultimately it's just a gore fest. Nice shock value in terms of FX/make-up (lots of close ups/blood spray/maggots/worms), but crappy stories and dialogue take away from a lot of the films. The presentation also lacked in terms of Devil's Experiment and Flower of Flesh and Blood. The more "realistic" torture films of the series didn't set themselves apart in terms of look. I was expecting a grittier quality to the video. Something that looked like it was shot on an old home camera. Something that would have given them that "snuff" feel. While they are maybe a "gorehound's dream", or whatever, I doubt you'll lose any sleep over these films.
The Chinese Stuntman (product link) Action/Adventure / Martial Arts An okay movie. The story is ridiculous and has a lot of unnecessary twists to it. There's a lot of action to compensate for that, but sometimes the action feels "bland". Sometimes the fights are in the context of a movie shoot, while other times they are intended to be "real". The problem here is a lack of separation. While the locales may change, the action tends to feel scripted. This leaves all of the action on the same level. I'd like to have seen a different tone or style that distinguished movie from "reality". Overall this movie is alright, but you could do better.
It's a grab bag. Some good, some bad. There's quite a bit of fighting, but it gets sloppy. The various brawls lack the skill that the better (one on one) fights have.
The way scenes were shot also helps/hurts the fights. Sometimes they shoot from behind things: clothesline with laundry, boxes/debris, or graffiti covered windows. While it does add a fly on the wall perspective, it also interferes with the view of the action. There were also some nice shots of chases through cramped alleys or a fight in a living room with only a couple of knocked over lamps for lighting. Some nice visual touches like that.
The story could have been better. Pretty standard although they skipped the happy ending. Still, it really makes you wonder why they didn't just do that from the begining(you'll understand when you see it).
The characters also seem oblivious to what's happening. They took a vacation while people are out to kill them? They returned from vacation when people are trying to kill them!? They set a woman on fire, had a touching scene at the hospital, then ignored her the rest of the movie!?! This has more holes than a porno. Still, it's solid and enjoyable. It's just a shame that the small problems (script/quality of fights) couldn't have been fixed. This wasn't going to be a
"true" classic, but it could have been a "cult" classic. Right now its selling point is a decent decapitation (kind of cheesy, but still a nice attempt).
A fairly funny kung fu comedy. [On the US DVD by Vidtape], the full screen crop doesn't hinder it and the night scenes aren't so dark that you miss the action. Lots of "interesting" things to see. A hand cranked "scooter" and wind up horse. Two disciples who quibble are constantly trying to one-up the other in "magic", which are wire tricks, sets made to look like people are clinging to walls or ceilings, looping clips etc. It's kind of cheesy, but in the context of a comedy it's not too bad. The story really kills this movie though. It changes direction a couple of times. First it's the two disciples with students feuding. Then there's a vampire to be vanquished (including some Scooby Doo elements). And finally there's some feud that the two disciples had with an herbalist the whole time. Seriously, WTF!? To top that off, the final fight gets cut short for a crappy quick fix ending. I really wanted to like this movie a lot (and I still do to an extent), but some things (stopping a fight!!?) are unforgiveable. Overall there's something to enjoy. Decent action despite the ridiculous pretenses and a liberal use of comedy. While not top quality, it's entertaining enough (assuming you find a grown man trying to collect childrens' urine funny). It's similar to "Goose Boxer" and "Fight Among the Supers". On a side note, it's weird to hear that music from "Psycho" in a movie like this.
It's a decent film. A lot of fighting. The full screen picture [on the US DVD by Vidtape] can cause clipping of the action, but nothing too bad. The story seems to be the problem here. It has comedic tones (standard goofy sidekick), but on some occasions it disrupts the flow of what's happening. There are also parts of the story that are just stupid. I mean, the heroes escape the villains, and instead of hiding out they move into a big house. Two of them get married and have a party to celebrate. Way to keep a low profile. The movie also fails to deliver on things. In the bigger (in terms of participants) fight scenes, most of the people were lost in the mix. There was also an "interesting" character who really didn't get the chance to show off. He was basically a kung fu "retard". (They said "insane", but he just acted retarded.) He was supposed to be a bad ass but he never really beat anyone. Usually a villain would at least clobber an extra to show off his technique, but none of that here. The "big boss" was also one of those "invulnerable except in one spot" villains. I hate that. Still, there's enough solid action to overlook these smaller flaws. It's just one of those movies that could have been a little better and raised itself above average.
Temegotchi (product link) Ghost / Thriller A decent Asian horror movie. The young girl had a sufficiently "creepy" look to her, and there were decent performances from the cast. It had a fairly good supernatural theme. I just think it lacked the "look" of a memorable movie. There were some cheesy looking FX and props. While they didn't hinder my ability to enjoy the overall product, it does keep it from appealing to a wider audience. Not the kind of movie to feel bad for missing out on, but one that should be enjoyable to fans of the genre.
These movies (The Fanatsy Zone Battle) are all basically the same. That's why, with the exception of the Tarzan version, they will all have the same review. The basic concept is that the "Devil King" is trying to ruin Master Q by altering various fairy tales, thus ruining the fantasy realm. Each movie has Master Q and friends trying to stop him. The problem is that it all seems generic. It appears this was probably a TV series (there seem to be spots made for commercial breaks). Still by that standard the animation is kind of lame and the stories have simple plots and routine morals (sharing, teamwork, etc.). I just think that kids won't find anything new or interesting to keep their attention. Even if you like Master Q you'd probably do better to pick up one of the Master Cute movies. I would also like to note that there is usually mild profanity in the Master Q series ("damn", "hell", "ass"). If you feel this is offensive you should skip the series.
These movies (The Fanatsy Zone Battle) are all basically the same. That's why, with the exception of the Tarzan version, they will all have the same review. The basic concept is that the "Devil King" is trying to ruin Master Q by altering various fairy tales, thus ruining the fantasy realm. Each movie has Master Q and friends trying to stop him. The problem is that it all seems generic. It appears this was probably a TV series (there seem to be spots made for commercial breaks). Still by that standard the animation is kind of lame and the stories have simple plots and routine morals (sharing, teamwork, etc.). I just think that kids won't find anything new or interesting to keep their attention. Even if you like Master Q you'd probably do better to pick up one of the Master Cute movies. I would also like to note that there is usually mild profanity in the Master Q series ("damn", "hell", "ass"). If you feel this is offensive you should skip the series.
These movies (The Fanatsy Zone Battle) are all basically the same. That's why, with the exception of the Tarzan version, they will all have the same review. The basic concept is that the "Devil King" is trying to ruin Master Q by altering various fairy tales, thus ruining the fantasy realm. Each movie has Master Q and friends trying to stop him. The problem is that it all seems generic. It appears this was probably a TV series (there seem to be spots made for commercial breaks). Still by that standard the animation is kind of lame and the stories have simple plots and routine morals (sharing, teamwork, etc.). I just think that kids won't find anything new or interesting to keep their attention. Even if you like Master Q you'd probably do better to pick up one of the Master Cute movies. I would also like to note that there is usually mild profanity in the Master Q series ("damn", "hell", "ass"). If you feel this is offensive you should skip the series.
These movies (The Fanatsy Zone Battle) are all basically the same. That's why, with the exception of the Tarzan version, they will all have the same review. The basic concept is that the "Devil King" is trying to ruin Master Q by altering various fairy tales, thus ruining the fantasy realm. Each movie has Master Q and friends trying to stop him. The problem is that it all seems generic. It appears this was probably a TV series (there seem to be spots made for commercial breaks). Still by that standard the animation is kind of lame and the stories have simple plots and routine morals (sharing, teamwork, etc.). I just think that kids won't find anything new or interesting to keep their attention. Even if you like Master Q you'd probably do better to pick up one of the Master Cute movies. I would also like to note that there is usually mild profanity in the Master Q series ("damn", "hell", "ass"). If you feel this is offensive you should skip the series.
Older Master Cute Part 3 (product link) Animation / Comedy Older Master Cute (Master Q/Kiddo Q) is essentially an animated Three Stooges. Unfortunately, they are no where near as funny. There are some sight gags and they always find themselves in akward positions, but nothing really memorable. In this story they lose their jobs at an arcade and look for new employment. They eventually wind up working in a circus that a gangster wants to put out of business. Along the way they find an alien (why not?). Wackiness ensues. Standard stuff if you've seen other Master Cute. The one weird thing to point out is that there is mild profanity. The characters use words like damn and hell. In this particular film there are homophobic slurs (fag or faggot I believe). I'm not sure if there is a problem in translating dialogue or what, but if you find that offensive avoid this film.
These movies revolve around the idea that the Master Q gang can be destroyed if various other fairy tales are ruined.
Master Q along with Potato (short fat guy) and Mr. Nobody (Tall guy) are sort of like the three stooges. In this film the Tarzan story is ruined. Tarzan and his friends have been corrupted with snack foods and video games, thus making them fat and lazy. Very simple which defines this series as a whole. The movie are bland with generic lessons tacked on. The animation is also bland. It was always simple, but there could still be a style to it (like Crayon Shin Chan). This might be okay for a kid, but with all the Cars/Invincibles/Shrek etc. it won't impress them. You'd probably do better with a Loony Tunes DVD. It should also be said the Master Q, or company, use words like damn/hell/ass. I'm not sure if it's a problem in translation or what, but you might find it inappropriate for your child.
Korean AV Girls #6312: Dangerous Game (product link) Erotica Softcore. The cover does not reflect the film. This is a slightly better than average film. The story probably won't make much sense, then again it's smut the story really isn't the selling point. There's a doctor. He sleeps with his patients while his secretary watches/fantasizes. One of those patients has a boyfriend whom she sleeps with.
The secretary sleeps with a patient. The doctor finally bangs the secretary in the waiting room...and umm some more sex scenes.
Straightforward sex flick with some decent looking chicks.
While the cover is accurate of the actresses and general theme, this isn't some kinky hospital nurses on nightshift film. It's a pseudo-drama with bits of smut and comedy. It has something to do with Woman Doctor and an ex-lover who now has some skanky white chick. There are other male "patients" (? they were cleaning up the clinic in one scene, which is kind of fucked up. "Sorry you have cancer. Do you mind sweeping up before you die?") Yet, they just mill around the clinic except in one scene where two of them try to molest the skanky white chick while she's sleeping. Standard sex scenes, although one had terrible audio. Maybe the two actors felt left out so they filmed a scene during lunch and spliced it in while the director wasn't looking. All in all a film worth skipping.
Korean AV Girls #6449: Sex Tutor (product link) Erotica Kind of a bland smut flick. It appears as though one guy can't get laid. Everyone else seems to do just fine but not him. Long story short he eventually gets laid. Heartwarming I'm sure. If you've seen one of these films you understand the concept. Decent looking chicks sleep with generic guys. In the movies I liked, there was always some bizarre concept or gimick that made the films absurdly entertaining (see "Virgin Dracula"). This has none of that. It also runs shorter in time than the average film. Let it also be known the cover does not reflect the movie. This is not a "schoolgirl" film.
The Untold Story 2 (product link) Horror / Crime A fairly decent movie. You lower your expectations for sequels, especially when they aren't true sequels, but this is good.
It has the CAT3 staples of blood and smut but not so much of either that you ignore the story or characters in it. Anthony Wong is quite funny. Not Daughter of Darkness funny, but still enjoyable. Paulyn is quite good. Very unassuming yet quite intimidating. Her introduction shows her being initially timid and subservient before using paint to set an old lady on fire. (It's as funny as it sounds) Very well played. (by CAT3 standards) Balancing sanity and rage. Of course she eventually flips out tricks some people into cannibalism then kills or tortures everyone else, but that's life right. You win some, you lose some, and sometimes you wind up on the menu at some shitty Hong Kong restaurant.
Naked Poison 2 (product link) Mystery / Erotica Nudity. It's not the plot, just the most entertaining part of it. This movie has nothing to do with the first. The first one had a more serious "revenge" tone to it. This has an absurd amnesia story. After her husband (or boyfriend) is killed a girl loses her memory. She goes around writing newfound memories on her body. (Because paper is apparently too expensive) Then there are some sex scenes and the woman finds the killer. Nudity is the star here. Everything else is just a flimsy facade.
Sumo Vixens (product link) Comedy / Erotica This is a movie you'll love or hate. It's a Kei Mizutani picture so if you like her (or her previous work) you'll probably like this.
For the unfamiliar, this is a comedy with smut. The story boils down to topless women performing sumo. If that sounds unamusing, skip this movie, simple as that. The comedy is okay, not great. There are some decent looking women and some messed up ones as well (which kind of adds comedic value). It's a fun movie to shock people with, but really not a high quality film that you'll enjoy time after time.
Kung Fu Of 8 Drunkards (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure I can't say I liked this film. I'm not sure if there is a drastic difference, but I saw the Vidtape version and wasn't impressed. Maybe I've allowed Jackie Chan to set too high a standard, but this movie still seemed to lack anything special. I expect a certain "cartoonish" quality to the drunken style, and here it seemed more "sober". The teacher was rather annoying and very limited in his role from an action standpoint. The action was solid but again I expect a more chaotic approach. It really just strikes me as average which for this kind of movie is a negative.
The Ugliest Woman In The World (product link) Comedy / Science Fiction This is a tough movie to rate. I think it's something you'll like (probably not love) or hate. The basic story is ugly woman (Toxic Avenger ugly) strikes out for revenge. Detective works to stop her. And in the end... an ending. The ending was the most dissatisfying part for me. I'm not sure what I expected, but something other than what I got. As for the rest, it was interesting. It kept my attention and moved along fairly well. There wasn't much action and the Sci-Fi was "limited". It mostly involved a treatment that kept the ugly woman normal.
Nothing special. Just a "solid" kind of movie. Litle of this, little of that. It should be an enjoyable watch as long as you don't set your expectations too high.
Martial Arts Showdown Vol. 1 [6-Disc Set] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure These are the Ocean Shores versions of these movies. They are basically good quality transfers but not digitally remastered. As a set the movies are average. I found Leg Fighters the most enjoyable, at least in terms of action. The others vary. In some cases I thought prints to be dark or hindered by FULL SCREEN presentation. If you are generally interested in Martial Arts it's an okay set, but if you are only interested in one or two of the films buy them individually.
Lethal Panther / Lethal Panther 2 [DOUBLE FEATURE] (product link) Girls With Guns / Action/Adventure Average girls with guns movies. Okay action, but you expect more from these kinds of movies. Not on par with your more notorious action movies. The real saving grace is that both movies are bundled together. If they weren't I'd say skip them both.
Jiang Hu [LE 2-Disc Box] (product link) Action/Adventure / Crime A nice little crime drama. Not much on action so don't expect a shoot 'em up, John Woo style showdown. The big action sequence is a gang fight out in the rain. Beautiful to see. (The bonus disc [in the HK 2-disc set] has an unedited cut to watch.) This movie deals more with life in crime. The way up and down. The characters are decent, but perhaps cliched. The story won't blow your mind, but seems to be well written. It's really a solid movie. I think the average viewer of this genre will enojy this movie.
Hired Guns (product link) Action/Adventure / Crime I watched this movie once and just couldn't bring myself to watch it again. There's just nothing to really enjoy here. There's action, just nothing memorable. The characters and story didn't connect to me. Nothing really seems to work in this movie. It's not even bad enough to be good for a laugh. I would suggest skipping this movie.
Korean AV Girls #6416: Hungry Pistols (product link) Erotica Sort of disappointing. You'd think with a title like "Hungry Pistols" and a hot chick on the cover there would be some chicks with guns, but noooo! It's just a series of scenes that I can't really see any connection between. It's your standard softcore sex.
The only thing that stands out is a bizarre scene that starts with a man and woman wrestling and leads to them humping in the ring. Sadly enough, that's not the weirdest thing I've seen in these kinds of films. Just an average title.
Once Upon A Time, A Hero In China (product link) Comedy / Nonsense Comedy Wong Fei Hung as a halfwit chef. Indiana Jones as a drug dealer. Yup! It's here in this movie. A funny little spoof with plenty of wacky comedy. The movie is a little limited in terms of action but what's there is decent. The comedy is quite funny although a little lowbrow. In one scene Wong Fei Hung literally gets into a pissing contest with his rival. The movie is quite good overall. Decent pace, recognizable parallels to the "Once Upon a Time" series, nice visuals, and decent acting. The only drawback is if you should dislike non-sense comedies. This isn't as out there as some but it could easily offend or irritate.
The Secret Rivals / The Secret Rivals 2 [2-Pack] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure Splendid movies. I just picked them up on a whim and was shocked. Very nice old school martial arts. The performers really delivered. The action also provided enough variety (across both movies) to maintain its entertainment value. These movies are well worth the cost no matter which versions you get.
Daughter Of Darkness 2 (product link) Horror / Comedy Almost as good as the original. Whatever that means. This movie has a similar setup to the original. Viscious murders, cops looking for suspects, and an unfolding story of rape and violence. I think the comedy here might be better (still lowbrow) but it just feels like an attempt to capitalize on the original. I think Anthony Wong is the one thing that really made the difference in my ratings. If you like Cat 3 movies it's decent and good for a watch. Everyone else can skip this.
Daughter Of Darkness [Ocean Shores] (product link) Horror / Erotica Category 3. It is what it is. Sex and violence mixed with bits of humor. I dig it. It's not high class cinema. It's shock cinema. It aims to please the lowest standards of human entertainment. It features aspects of horror, drama, romance, and comedy being wildly juggled for your amusment (or lack there of). It's got rape, murder, and Anthony Wong (hell yeah!). That aside it's standard Cat 3 material. Someone is, or feels, wronged and they get revenge. Not for your average viewer.
Once Upon A Time In China 2 (product link) Action/Adventure / Martial Arts Great film. Some may dislike Wire Fu but I found it very entertaining. Lots of exciting effects used throughout the fights. Donnie Yen also presents himself as a good opponet to Jet Li. While a great contribution to the series it makes a great companion to "Tai Chi Master", in terms of action.
No Fat 2000 (product link) Instructional This one is for the Almen Wong fans, or people with an exercise fetish. I was expecting something "quirky"--not erotic but "quirky". Something that made it standout from other generic exercise tapes.
Nope none of that. Basic stuff. The star is the selling point.
Midnite Angels 3 (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure An okay Girls with Guns movie. My problem is with the final showdown. They handed the action over to the guys. The villain is still female but the heroes wind up being guys...with jetpacks!? Whatever. There's way better out there.
Woman Is Gangstars (product link) Erotica / Crime The box art is very misleading. I was expecting a "girls with guns" smutfest. Alas, what we get is ugly guys soft-porning with some decent chicks. I was really hoping to see hot chicks fake fighting with chains and axes. Nope, just some guys in mediocre brawls.
They can't all be "Virgin Draculas". Even the smut is average. Look for something better.
Ninja Fantasy / Fight Among The Supers [DOUBLE FEATURE] (product link) Martial Arts / Action/Adventure "Fight Among the Supers" is the movie to see here. It's a Kung Fu "Kuriosity". That basically means it gets wacky. If you were looking for something traditional you opened the wrong box. This movie features chopsticks fighting bowls (literally), one of the "gods" fighting his disembodied counterpart, and the crappiest "robot" I've ever seen. Yes, it's worse than the ones from the Bill & Ted movie. Still, some of the absurdity might elicit laughs. Plus it stands out because of its oddity appeal.
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