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CUZ I'm FAT!

Overview: To be perfectly honest, I hate zombie movies for logical reasons. I have seen 95 zombie films and 95% of them have sucked vehemently. I mean it's all the same shit. Something happens, zombies appear, people run and hide, "@#$$ you, no ##@@ you", zombie come, people kill zombies, zombies kill people. THE END!! This is why I favor originality over authenticity. Give me something new. But I suppose that why one loves zombie films is because of the gore. Well la-di-freakin'-da.

So here it is, suckaz Top 5 Best blah blah blah

and I'm half-assing it without honorable mentions cuz I forgot most the zombie films I've "optically assimilated" :P

5: Wild Zero: Why I liked this film? Cuz I'm a poo poo face.

4: Zombi 2: Zombies yay!

3: Dead and Buried: Why? Cuz the zombies in the film aren't inert dingilings.

2: Return of the Living Dead: Again the zombies aren't slow idiots. They izzzz fast moving idiots.

1: Dawn Of the Dead ('78): Obviously the best zombie film ever and if you look closely at the zombies you may see a reflection of yourself.

Top 5 Worst Zombie films ever

5: Stacy: Yeah yeah, gore and hot-ass Japanese girls in school outfits and blah blah blah but this film made no sense and none of the girls GOT NAKED! BOOOOOO! };o

4: Shaun of the Dead: Oh no! Slave said a naughty thing. And to think I actually cared about credibility. This films satire was too predictable and entirely lacking. More will follow when I write the review.

3: Dawn of the Dead (02' I think): It's a remake, need I say more.

2: Deadrock Zombies: None of you heard of this obscure home-made piece of do-do but if curiosity ever arouses you and film is within thy reach, kill yourself instead. Trust me, it's that wretched.

1: Video Dead: A film about some pothead loser who acquires a TV that only plays zombie films. But the TV is possessed and zombies come out of the TV screen to beat the shit out of the living. What a stupid concept this is. UGH!!!!!

Well there you go

PEACE AND WAR

SLAVE

Lame: Dawn of the Dead (2004), Deadgirl, Stacy, Land of the Dead, Hell of the Living Dead, Zombie Strippers, 99% of movies where a zombie runs.

PROPER ZOMBIES DON'T RUN. "Rage infected" people are NOT Zombies.

Erotic Nights of the Living Dead will replace Shaun of the Dead and will be at #4 for worst zombie films. Erotic Nights was so gross, I couldn't tell if the gore was more disgusting or the copulation. Jeez, people, use some soap for your ass.

Wild Zero I never liked but I chose it 'cuz I couldn't think of any other zombie films I liked until "Dead Alive" manifested with in my little brain. Dead Alive hits at #1. Wild Zero is null and void and all other abate by one ranking.

28 DAYS LATER DID SUCK! I HATE THAT MOVIE!

Night of the Living Dead

Dawn of the Dead (the original)

Zombie 2

Re-Animator - sort of a zombie - esque movie

Shaun of the Dead sounds like fun!

"Bad Zombies"

Dawn Of The Dead remake

(Can't remember the name. I was stuck at a hotel and flipping through channels something about Biker Girls and Zombies....I fell asleep)

100% of any movie with running, jogging, leaping, hopping, skipping Zombies! Zombies shouldn't be doing much talking either. I will often add a star for Zombies that are literally falling apart =:~{O (experimenting with emoticons)

That's all I can think of for now....

An honorable mention for the only Zombie song I know -

Zombie Zoo Tom Petty

Dead And Buried has talking and running zombies but the conception is completely different as the undead was not meant to be the flesh-chewing types and it worked really well. They were created by some old looney who has an obsession for recreating beauty and flesh into the dead and then resurrect them and have them live amonst the living as regulars. Excellent mystery horror film. You should really try it, unless you've seen it already.

CHOPPER CHICKS IN ZOMBIETOWN.

I know my zombie films. This one took a while however.