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The overview: Simply put, there are times when I get thoroughly sick and tire of the same crap implemented into film. It may have been amusing the first time, but afterwards it’s gets exasperating and tedious causing the mind to deteriorate into entropy. Kung fu films are the worst because of, more than likely, their fascist, socialist government but I can only be hypothetical. Maybe it’s ethnical but still it sucks.

Honorable mentions:

Training Sequences: Not something that bothers me quite so much, but at times it’s not need ‘cause it kills the pacing of the story.

Abrupt Endings: Again, doesn’t bother me, but I would like to know what the hell is happens to the protagonist after he kills his enemy. What will he do now? It’s stupid to end a movie with a big-ass punch.

So here it is”Top 5 worst things in a Kung Fu movie” in no particular order.

5: The Coin Dinging Shtick: This is where some ass blows on a coin and the coin makes a ding sound to justify its potency and retards make happy faces. I DON’T GET THIS! WHAT IS SO FUNNY ABOUT THIS CRAP!?!?!?!?!?! Did I miss something here? What is the joke? Every time I see this I throw stuff at my TV. Stupidest thing ever and it’s in practically every slapstick kung fu film. NOT FUNNY, IDIOTAS!

4: Lion Dances: I just fast forward these scenes ‘cause I never liked lion dances. These are commonplace in films and they all suck. Devoids originality and is completely uninteresting and I hate you for using them.

3: Musical Interludes & Music Scores Overpowering Acting Dialog Scenes: The Executioners (which is the sequel to Heroic Trio) is a fine example as to why 80% of Chinese films has sucked in the 90’s and this is it. Horribly written and horribly sung Chinese music. It hurts the ears. It’s the same with music overpowering the dialog scenes where you can barely hear the actors. I can’t understand Chinese but still I need to hear vocalization and not shitty music.

2: Overly Done Dramatization and Exasperatingly Overly Done Slapstick Comedy: If you put 120% charisma in your acting abilities, you suck! Slapstick comedy is retarded unless you are The 3 Stooges.

1: Romantic Abstinence: Either get naked and copulate violently or move on to all the anger and blood and etc. Love scenes suck and are worthless.

You can’t convince me otherwise. I will hate this crap ‘til the day stage one of my decomposition completes (which means the day I die).

Happy-doodles! :)

- SLAVE

One thing that bugs me about some kung fu comedies is the stereotype sniveling evil character who always has giant fake buck teeth and a huge hairy mole on his face. Gross!

thanks for sharing :)

Lions are the best!

* I must admit I do get tired of some of the music used to punctuate or set up scenes. Golden Harvest has the OMG bad guys are coming! jingle. Or the Shaw Brothers Humour is about to occur music set up. All movies tend to do this to some extent, for these older ones I'm sure it was much cheaper and easier. I still love the movies. Sometimes though I felt a bit cheated because until fairly recently most actors weren't the ones doing the dialogue. Even Jackie didn't until Stanley Tong insisted for Police Story 3 Supercop.

* Bad Training. For example there was a film, I don't recall the title but the student would be fully trained when he could catch a leaf the master dropped before it hit the ground. I tried this with friends and I caught all kinds of leaves the first try,so I guess I don't need to train!

Another bad thing is overused/misused wire fu. It's one thing for a fantasy or for emphasis, quite another when people go flying 300 feet when kicked. Movies horribly and incorrectly dubbed. Voices that seem like cartoons. Bad cartoons. Many of these things are present in more than just kung fu movies.

Even with my complaints I think there are more good movies than bad out there. And I would say the complaints can be overcome with a good plot and/or good action. : )

Well I guess I must of hit a nerve with the lion dance thing. I don't know, maybe my psyche just finds it uninspiring and devoid of appeal. Oh well, what can you do?

That I can understand but it changes nothing for me. sorry :(

"I don't recall the title but the student would be fully trained when he could catch a leaf the master dropped before it hit the ground."

Thought just occurred to me. Was the movie you're thinking of "Warriors Two" with Sammo Hung and Casanova Wong?